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Worried about my Boyfriend
My boyfriend and I were supposed to hang out tonight, but he decided to go out with his friends instead. This is not the first time that hes decided his friends are more important than I am, nor will it be the last.
I called him after he told me we wouldn't be hanging out, and told him that I felt like i wasn't as important as his friends. He proceeded to tell me that he didn't want to deal with it right now and that he would talk to me later and hung up.
What did i do wrong?? There have been times where hes told me hes coming to pick me up and then decided he was to tired and i've walked the hour home from work at midnight. I just am so upset right now i feel like i put all the effort in the relationship and as soon as i get my hopes up about something, he changes plans and i'm just not in the picture anymore.
I'm afraid to approach him because i don't want him to blow up and just call our relationship off. But i'm afraid to leave it alone because i know its bad for me to be stewing about it and not letting it out.
What should i do?
Im 20 hes 28. We've been together for a year and a half.
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I've been in this same situation before, and let me just tell you, me and that guy aren't together anymore.
You have not done anything wrong. You are right to be upset with him for his behavior. If he wants to hang out with his friends, then he should tell you that straight up instead of making plans with you and ditching at the last minute. It isn't fair to you, and it's kind of rude. I'd be upset if my boyfriend did that to me, or wanted to hang out with his friends and didn't think to include me. Guys need their guy time, but you can come along sometimes, right?
Then you say he's left you to walk home from work at late hours of the night. That's insanely rude, for one, and dangerous. It also says that he doesn't really care about your safety. A guy once did that to me, and left me stranded. I eventually found a way home, but I got home late and got in trouble.
To be quite honest with you, I'd break up with him. I know you love him, but if he isn't treating you fairly and if he isn't willing to make things work out, then he's not in it for the long run and you gotta let him go. Sometimes it's just best to be single.
Besides sweetie, you're 20. You have tons of time to find a guy who will treat you properly!
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Let it go before its too late, I mean only u know how much time you spend together. Its ok for him to be with friends but come on now, your into him and u wanna spend time so why wouldnt he. hes prob not that into you anymore. Not trying to hurt your feelings babe but thats the way it is sometimes they are to scared to tell instead they will just blow you off so keep your head up and find a new one your 20 hes 28 believe me there are som many guys in this world.. dont dwell on him if he doesnt want to fine you cant force it, screw him.
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Um. Well, first because you decided to mention the age factor, it shows that you might think its a problem subconsciously. Your boyfriend is 28, he really shouldn't have a problem with commitment. I mean, he's 28 and he's not getting any younger. You're gonna have to talk to him firmly if you want an answer because the last thing you want is for the anger and confusion to build up in your mind. Letting your mind come to false conclusions can also be detrimental to a relationship. Something is obviously wrong and you cannot have this miscommuication with each other if you want things to last.
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I dont think your boyfriend is wanting to be in a comited relationship. It sounds like you are better off single. let him know you arent afrid to be alone that you dont need him and if he really loves you he will try his hardest to get back with you.
Okay so lets answer it the way you want to hear it.. He will change give him time to relize how much he cares about you. Hello you have been with him going on 2 years thats dumb he is immature and isnt going to grow up. You need to learn what a relationship is about I have seperated from my husband to give him time to think about what is more important his family or screwing around. he choose his family. You are scared that he wont choose you.
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When I first read your message, I thought your boyfriend was a teenager because thats what teen guys tend to do. Then I read that he's 28! Your boyfriend sounds pretty immature.
You are completely right in being upset. It isn't fair of him to make plans with you and then change them just to hang out with his friends. He needs to make time for both of you, but that doesn't mean ditching either when it's convienant for him.
Him letting you walk home alone at midnight? Thats unacceptable. That blantantly says he's lazy and doesn't care about your safety. I would have ended it right there.
I know you don't want to cause drama, but you need to fight for what you deserve. If he isn't giving you what you need, then he isn't the right guy for you. Pick a quiet time to talk to him about this and try not to be accusatory or make him be defensive. Just express how he makes you feel and ask him if he wants to change to fix it.
Don't let this go, you will only end up resenting him so much.
Good luck,
-Abby
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