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Girlfriend's Sexual History not exactly History
So, here's an odd one. I'm currently engaged to a fantastic woman. She's everything that I've always wanted, and we're madly in love. We dated for a long time several years ago, and then broke up. Now, 2 years later, we've gotten back together. Here's the problem:
We're fairly adventurous people sexually. We've had a sort of threesome (oral on me only), and we've always talked about doing more than that. Then, just after we broke up the first time, I had a threesome (MFM) with a couple of friends. Now, when we got back together, I was shocked to learn that she'd had a threesome (MFF) with the same girl! And our old flatmate. Should be cool, right? I've done it, she's done it, we've done it... Not exactly.
The problem is that she still lives with this girl and they're the best of friends. And she's still friends with this guy. And the girl is dating another one of my girlfriend's exes! I know I shouldn't, but I can't help but feel uncomfortable around... well... everyone! It's gotten so bad that I don't even want to go over to her house. And to top it all off, we're expats, so our social circle is relatively small.
So, the question is - how do you come to terms with your girlfriend's sexual past when it's right in front of your face? How can I lie in her bed at night and listen to her ex-girlfriend and her ex-boyfriend having sex? It just seems like too much to bear sometimes.
Should I be comfortable with this? Am I just weak? What can I do to get over this and be cool with everyone?
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Like it or not we all have a past be it sexual or otherwise. You two are now engaged to be married and will be starting or are starting to make new history together. What you do is put the past behind you.
One of my closest friend from childhood married a girl from are circle of friends. I'm fairly confident that he is well aware that he knows that while she and I were dating I took her virginity. We were still in High School at the time and while we were talking of a future together life kind of got in the way. Her know husband and he went of to College, I joined the military. Four years later when I came home they were married and had a child.
The first thing he did when he heard I was home was to invite me over. I spent many an evening in their home and it was just like old time. He had no reason to worry about me; she married him, there was no Dear John to me as I never asked he to wait for me. I was not jealous of him either, I was happy for both of them. A year later I married my wife.
Life eventually took us in different directions although we stay in touch through emails. History can only be a problem if you let it be. If it is a problem now what is it going to be like when you get married.
As I see it is you she sleeps with; t is she makes love with now and has committed to do so in the future. Forget about the past or it will eat you alive.
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If you are in love with this girl as much as you are should it bother you. No. If you hear them having sex make yours louder. She is with you now. She isnt with them, him or who ever. I would be satified with that. It would take me awhile to get used to it but i believe it is possible.
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