I aim to give you solid advice on your problems. I don't sugarcoat things and I'm always straight up. Don't come asking for what you want to hear as I always give the truth even if you don't want it because it's what you need and the only way to grow.
Gender: Male
Member Since: December 31, 2006
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Last Update: August 30, 2022
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I am a paraprofessional at an elementary school, for those of you that may not know what that is, I work one on one, with a special needs child throughout the entire school year. Unless there is an improvement or the goal that was set, was surpassed, then I would get a new child.
My last child broke one of my fingers so he got sent to another school, but that's aside from the point. I have a new child now, though, I just completed my first week with him. He is very good, he is so bright and he gets his work done very quick. Essentially my only job is to just refocus him and redirect him if he gets off topic.
The problem is, he is autistic and he is afraid to be in the classroom. He stays in the office all day long. His teachers drop his work off for the day in the morning and he drops it off at the end of the day when he is finished. The child's case manager, teacher, guidance counselor, principal and I are all kind of at odds about how we can get him back in the room and thus far, the counselor and the principal's ideas are the only ones being implemented and have not really been working.
So, I'm not here to complain that the people that are with him the most are not being heard, I'm just here to see if anyone has any ideas on what I can do throughout the day that would maybe give that little shove or at least put the thought in his mind of trying to go back to the room. Like I said, I've only been with him for a week so far, all I've got out of him was that it is loud. He doesn't ride the bus, his parents drop him off and pick him up, because the bus is loud. He doesn't like being in the room because it is loud. He was in his classroom all year last year, so I don't know if something happened over the summer or what but he had also recently just got back from Disney World so I'm so confused that he can be at a theme park with 1000s of people but he can't sit in his classroom with 20 kids.
His teacher told me that before I was assigned to this child, he didn't have anyone so the principal was popping in and out of the room he was given in the office to ensure that he was completing his work. One day, she thought it would be cool to make a "mission" for him to go on, he had to find the red balloon and obviously she put the red balloon in his homeroom class and his teacher said the day that happened, he was smart enough to put two and two together that he was tricked. So things like that wouldn't help. But I'm just asking for any kind of brainstorm so I was told that my only goal with him for the end of the year is to get him back in the room so he doesn't continue doing this into fifth grade.
Thank you!! (link)
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Consult the experts--his parents. They not ill equipped though well meaning educators will know or have right ideas for getting him in the classroom. In fact what these other people have done makes it worse. I would ask them and then I would talk to him and the other kids about how to accommodate him. The person with the balloon idea is an idiot or more accurately acted like one and needs to be reassigned.
Also, why don't these people lay off if they don't know a fucking thing about autism to begin with? In one week you know more about it than they do. If the kid is secure in working the way he has been let him. Let him show them when he's ready or what he needs to try. Tricking or prodding him will make him even worse with trusting people and his parents irate. If it continues I would ask his parents to talk to admin over it.
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So usually I am a student who gets As and high Bs but for some reason this year has been a struggle. My parents took my phone October 3rd for grades and weren't gonna give it back until I had all As and Bs again. My mom changed her mind and was gonna give it back 3 weeks ago but she went through it and searched my eyes only and saw my nudes (that were just for me. like to boost my confidence) and videos of me vaping. So I was on it when I wasnt supposed to be and I was doing things I shouldnt have. She originally told me I could have it back January 4th (when I go back to school after break) but now shes saying im not allowed to until half way through the second semester (start of march). Yesterday she asked for m apple ID and password and IDK why. Im pretty scared. Is there a way i can convince her to give it back earlier? Is there a way to ask why she needed my apple ID without sounding worried? Bc she'll probably say none of my business but im worried she putting a parent lock on my phone or deleting snapchat and changing my password and blocking it from apple. (link)
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Take full responsibility for what you have done and show through actions not words that you deserve the phone and will behave correctly. As far as nudes or other videos go it's illegal to create, distribute electronically or possess that. If someone hacked you it could mess up your future. It is a serious thing and no wonder mom upset.
The other thing you need is a decent tutor to help bring your grades up and to apply yourself more to your studies. You cannot convince anyone to do anything but you can influence or state case but changing the behavior that has put you in this spot. You have to acknowledge immaturity and stupid choices with the phone and prove you can handle having the device again by following parent's instruction. Give the Apple ID info over and let them see what you were hiding and work to regain trust and correct what you have done. True remorse is key.
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My sister just got diagnosed with an eating disorder and I'm scared. I know it's not my fault but I still feel like it is. How can I make these feelings go away? (link)
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Listen above all else listen. Don't offer opinion to her or judgment let her know she can come to you and unload even if she must. If you can be that to her and help advocate for her than that's the best thing anyone can do. The doctors and your parents can do the harder part of helping her tackle it head on. She needs to know to be 100 percent honest and that it's confidential to share or discuss anything at all with people treating her. There are no repercussions.
It's okay to be scared and actually bloody normal for everyone and to admit that. I wouldn't hide these feelings but confront them and talk about it. I think you would benefit from a therapist of your own to talk about stuff going on in confidence and get coping strategies.
You shouldn't feel guilty as this is NOT something you had anything to do with creating or influencing. It is not your fault. One thing to look into at the hospital or through her doctor are support groups or special programs led by professionals for teens dealing with or supporting others with eating disorders. That alliance of people can really help.
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I have a crush on a boy. Yesterday we moved seats in first period. I got moved next to him. There is a dance coming up at our school. Now I'm scared that he might ask me and I'll answer wrong. What should I do if he does ask me? What should I do if he doesn't? (He is not shy.) (link)
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These days teens don't ask each other to dances at school. You just show up and if he is there wait a couple of songs and see if he seeks you out. Generally girls stick with friends or do group dances until boys approach on slow numbers. It's fine to make your own approach and ask for a dance too. All he can say is yes or no.
If he approaches you all you have to is accept with a yes or decline with a no. Then you dance there's nothing to it. Everyone is nervous of rejection him more so because traditionally guys do most of asking.
If you like him you should go follow these guidelines and get your dance at least and see where things lead. It is when we second guess or let fear stand in the way that we get robbed of good experiences. Have fun.
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My 20 year old daughter attends college and the fall semester is obviously winding down. Recently, she informed me that she won't be coming straight home once her classes are done. The reason? She incurred a traffic ticket earlier this year and intends to pay it off with time served in jail.
Apparently when you get a ticket (in the state where she attends school at least), you can go to court and ask the judge if you can serve jail time in lieu of paying the ticket. This is what my daughter intends to do.
I offered to loan her the money, but she declined. She says taking care of this ticket is her responsibility, that she'll only be in for a few days, and afterward she'll be coming straight home.
While I admire her desire to stand on her own two feet and handle this herself, I can't help but worry. Her court date isn't for another couple weeks, so she'll be done with finals by the time she reports to jail. She's also assured me this won't pose a problem with future employment. Should I continue to try and talk her out of this? I suppose it could be a good lesson learned. I just hate for her to do this.
(link)
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Ask her if she wants to ever travel anywhere in the world aside from the U.S again? Guess what? No matter what a person goes to jail for it is on permanent criminal record. They can bar you entry to a country even for smallest infraction. It makes no sense at all to do time in jail over a traffic ticket. Just pay it even if she doesn't feel she deserved to have been written up or see a lawyer they appoint to fight it. She must have done more than just get a ticket here as jail time makes no sense as a pentalty for just a ticket.
I have a suspicion she did something she doesn't want you having any knowledge of that jail is the only option. The only other thing I can think of is that she's with someone you would disapprove of and needs those few days to go someplace with them.
If it's just a ticket than you need to level with her how going to jail for anything no matter severity can permanently screw you later on in ways you never thought of. She should wise up and get that ticket dealt with.
Obviously, she doesn't sound like a rational person and logic and reasoning isn't there. If she has been having weird thoughts, grandiose ideas, borderline delusion, poor choices and total out of character stuff manic highs and lows it could be a mental health issue bipolar etc landing her in a mess. Something is up and I would pay her an unexpected visit to sort it out. I think you have more than a ticket and 5 days in jail here to avert. Something isn't right.
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My manager helped me apply the bandage really tight. But it’s still bleeding about 3 hours later and I’m home. It cut right into my nail and a deep piece of skin came off. I ran it under water and it kept bleeding, i couldn’t put neosporin on it. It’s started bleeding again when i took off the bandage to change it. I work in a restaurant and it was my fault. It happened when i was cutting a sandwich. (link)
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Go to an ER and explain the non-stop blood and have them see to it and provide a solution. That is the only way to deal with this problem.
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My 12 year old son and daughter (fraternal twins) recently came out as gay. Of course, I'm happy that they felt comfortable sharing this information with my husband and I and we both want to be supportive.
I admit though that I'm a little lost when it comes to the issue of sleepovers. When I was a kid, I never would've been allowed to sleep over at a boy's house for obvious reasons. I'm just not sure that those reasons apply here. I don't know if any of their friends are gay or maybe questioning. But if that were the case, are there any good reasons for not allowing same sex sleepovers if it may lead to experimentation? (link)
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I agree with Advice Man at 12-years-old hormones and puberty changes haven't really happened yet. They may be gay and they may not. It's very early in the game to fully have figured out something as monumental as one's sexual prefence. I would have a lot of dialogue with them to see why they have made this assertion or if someone or some experience has made them think this.
Sleepovers are normal and if you placed rules against experimentation due to bullying, regrets later, parents against it etc or if peers use it against them it should be fine. However, kids do and will experiment regardless of whose roof they are under. It would be best if you did what you could to have them under your roof and aware of it and them being careful if really concerned.
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I want to start by saying that part of this question is actually going to sound arrogant and I apologize for that, but here goes.
I grew up with a verbally abusive father who made me feel like a worthless piece of trash sometimes. I also went through a horrible awkward stage in middle school and my classmates made me feel like an ugly, disgusting monster. I've been called a POS, a pathetic excuse for a human being, a waste of perfectly good air and other things along those lines. I'm afraid that these problems have caused me to suffer terrible self esteem issues which have negatively affected my quality of life.
For example, when I was in high school, a counselor gave me an IQ test, but didn't tell me the results. She told my mother about them later. This is one of the times that is going to sound arrogant. The counselor told my mom that my IQ was 140, but I'm having a very hard time wrapping my brain around that. 140 is a lot higher than I'd think it'd be. My dad always made me feel like a moron. I kind of always felt intelligent in some ways, but unintelligent in others. Like a combination of Brick and Axel Heck from, "The Middle." I'm good at history, but I suck at math. I've also always been interested in the weather and am good at meteorology and I'm decent at biology, but I suck at chemistry. I like to read, but as you'll probably learn in this writing, I don't have the best vocabulary. That and my dad's verbal abuse makes my IQ test results very hard for me to believe.
Now that I'm grown and have been out of my awkward stage for a while, I've developed some confidence when it comes to my appearance, but not a lot. The university I went to had this scholarship pageant every fall and once, this guy I know suggested that I enter it. I actually laughed at that suggestions and thought to myself, "He's either being really nice or he needs to get his eyes checked." These are not thoughts that I want to have about myself though.
Also, a friend of mine and I went to see the newer version of, "Beauty and the Beast" last spring and we both loved it. I made a joke about how much I'd have loved to have gotten to play Belle in the movie because the actor who played the Beast (the guy the Beast transformed into at the end) was so hot. My friend suggested that I could have played Belle, but know I couldn't have. Belle was supposed to be gorgeous. The movie is called, "Beauty and the Beast" after all. Playing Belle was one thing, but when I made a comment about how Emma Watson grew up prettier than I thought she'd be and wished I'd have grown out of my awkward stage that well, my friend (who has known me all of my life) rejected the notion that I ever went through an awkward stage. She lost all credibility to me at that point. Everyone seems to go through an awkward stage. Emma Watson was a cute kid, but she's a down right beautiful woman. I think of myself as a fugly kid who grew into a decent to slightly attractive woman at best and still tend to consider myself ugly at times. However, my friend didn't change her stance and while I can't help but to think that she was being nice. She did make me wonder though if maybe I am somewhat more attractive than I thought I was. I wonder if possibly I've been too hard on myself and wonder what would happen if I were more confident in regards to my appearance.
I wonder what would happen if I tried to be more confident, but I also fear becoming arrogant. I have a hard time judging myself properly and developing an appropriate opinion of myself. I feel like I'm always either going to be insecure as a result of others' negative opinions of me (such as that I'm ugly, stupid, or a POS) or arrogant as a result of other's positive opinions (such as that I am intelligent or could play Belle in Beauty and the Beast").
So what do you think? Am I too hard on myself? Am I not hard enough? I really do feel like this writing sounds arrogant, but I also feel like poor self esteem has ruined my life. What are your thoughts on my situation? (link)
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Right now you are seeing yourself through a window that has a ton of dirt on it obscuring the true image. You need to learn how to wipe it clean and see your true beauty and intelligence that has always been there. Your dad has a problem not you. You have always been far better than anyone may have led you to think. He needs a psychiatrist.
The best thing you can do for yourself is get a referral from a doctor to a mental health professional who will work with you through the pain and poor self image until you discover who you really are and can flourish. You don't need parental permission for that either. You can see one on your own and have it all confidential.
Why wouldn't you be intelligent? They wouldn't lie to you or your parents about your IQ score but if you can't believe the truth have it done again on your own. There's nothing wrong with your volcabulary either and you are quite articulate
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Im 12 yrs old and i hate my eyebrows who ever sees me or looked at me they say oh you're brows are so thick and they are connected with you're hair i reply yeah ik and smile it seems that I am careless but im really tired of them i asked my mom about plucking them but she regrets so please guys help me
And sorry if I have any mistakes cause im from lebanon and I'm trying my best in English
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I would explain that people are teasing you about them constantly and that you feel the only way to get them to stop is to fix it. It is best to go to a salon where they sculpt eyebrows and thread them. Regardless, you have to see yourself as beautiful no matter what anyone else may say. If your mother sees it is affecting your self esteem she may do something. You can't convince anyone of anything but you can present reasons and argument for your cause.
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I only see him during one of my classes. He always goes to his group of friends to talk when he has free time, and I'm scared I'm being rude if I interupt them just to talk to him. I can't really ask him questions about the material since we don't play the same instrument. If I ever do figure out a way to talk to him, how do I keep the convo going? I have really bad Social Anxiety so it's really hard for me to think if what to say next. Any tips on how to at least be in the talking phase with him? (link)
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Social anxiety can be crippling but you cannot let it run the show and prevent advancement or good. You should see a doctor (psychiatrist) to get treatment to make it manageable. It doesn't mean you are crazy to get it treated with medication and counselling.
You have to realize boys are just as fearful as you are to approach you and girls in general. There is nothing wrong with introducing yourself to him. As if he would be interested in going to a party or hanging out with friends at a movie or bowling etc. This is a way you can gauge interest from him without asking him out or revealing your crush. All he can do is say yes or no and at least you'll know where you stand. Just remember he fears rejection and embarrassment as much as you do.
In a situation like this where you really want something badly you have to make an attempt for it. All he can do is say yes or no and he will likely want to get to know you. Maybe you'll get a relationship from it. You just have to convince yourself to talk to him and do so no matter what. In the end doing it will show you that anxiety shouldn't stop you from experiencing something so natural. If he says no or doesn't want to get to know you it's on him not you and he misses out on a great person. I have a feeling it will go right for you and you will at least get a friend out of it.
Another approach is to be honest and approach him introducing yourself and explain talking to new people is so difficult because you have social anxiety disorder. Tell him you have always wanted to get to know him but it held you back. Unless he's a total ass he will understand and likely hangout with you I you ask.
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I got sent home early today because the assistant managers kept complaining. Is that bad?
I work on the sandwich line at a restaurant. Today the sandwich line was already full with workers and i had nothing to do. I wiped down the work stations and did some tasks that were assigned to the prep team, such as dishes and cutting up ingredients. I kept asking if there was anything else for me to do, because i just didn’t want to stand there doing nothing. They didn’t really have anything to do and the assistant managers were complaining to the manager that hired me. He sent me home thirty minutes early. I feel bad because i feel like he regrets hiring me and the assistant managers don’t like me. The restaurant owners were there today, they complained too. I cleaned. I feel like they don’t like me because they know i have a disability and can get nervous, so they want me out and regret hiring me. Maybe that’s why assist managers are complaining to the manager. My job coach got me this job, btw.
What else am i supposed to do when every task has been completed and there’s nothing to do? (link)
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Speak to your job coach and tell them exactly what is happening to you and how you are being treated by these people. You have a right to work in an environment where you feel secure and appreciated. He can straighten these people out or find you a job Bette suited to talents and that works with your disability. If they are treating you like shit for being disabled that's a harassment and human rights issue. At any rate your coach needs to know so it can be fixed or you can move on. Trust your gut and quit if the coach agrees this is a bad situation only about to get worse long term.
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Hi all, 30F - kitty in question (Lu) is turning 10 in April.
I've had her since she was 10 weeks old (which means part of this is my fault, I'm sure), and I can't clip her claws, I can't brush her, and I sure as hell can't bathe her. Scruffing her does nothing (it doesn't work on some cats), and it is REALLY difficult to swaddle her, though that kinda helps with claw-clipping
When I say "I can't," I mean I get seriously bloodied - she bites, claws, kicks, and it's a success if I manage to actually get one or two claws done without a new scar.
I've tried giving her a treat per claw she lets me clip, but she's overweight and I don't want to keep doing that.
Because she's overweight, she can't clean about half of her body, so that's something I kinda need to do, too... but anytime I get near that half of her, same thing.
I'm like an inch from trying to get her to a groomer, but "trying to get her" there is the key phrase...
Any ideas? Thoughts? Thank you all (link)
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Explain your situation to your vet and ask for help with bathing the cat and cutting its nails. They will have ran into cats who behave exactly like yours and can bathe her and cut her nails with little issue.
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I'm a 14 year old girl who goes to a music camp. I have a chorus class in which we are singing songs from the musical Les Miserables for our next concert. There are some solos open, one of them being I Dreamed a Dream. A few lines in the beginning, and the "now life has killed the dream I dream." I really want a solo and I think I'm a pretty good singer. Today we got to practice singing solos and I volenteered. I sung in front of the class, and I was applauded (no one else was applauded) and recieved a couple compliments. I'm still really nervous that I'm not good enough, that people are only being polite or doing it because they are my friends. How do I get over that feeling and just sing? (link)
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The best singers are the ones who have pure unbridled joy doing it and can show audiences that. The ones who succeed do the work to understand meaning of lyrics, a story or have in mind what it means to them. Share with people your joy and what I Dreamed A Dream means to you when performing. Forget anything else but singing. Sing for you and let how they interpret it be a secondary thing. You will get parts if you do that. I really doubt classmates nor teachers you audition for would applaud in that matter if they thought you to be awful either.
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I'm turning my life around now in college and I just find it insane how so many kids were on the right track during my most difficult years in my life. Most people have school dance memories, first relationship memories, hanging out with their friends memories and for me it was mostly just blank. Watching tv, going online, lacking motivation, having no confidence, etc. Even as an adult female now, I'm still learning how to do social relationships properly.. it makes me feel like a child to be so behind, while my peers are getting married, starting jobs above the minimum wage, and so on.
Why didn't things just click for me too, when I was younger, like they are now? The only thing I've really changed is my diet, but I knew kids who ate terrible diets and still did really well in school, so I'm not even sure. My parents were pretty uninvolved and I really needed someone to kick my butt, cause at the time, I didn't know how to discipline myself to reach my dreams.
Is that all it was?But it doesn't also explain why I had so much difficulty relating to my peers. Even now at 20 I still only use my phone to communicate with my immediate family and co-workers 99% of the time
Am I always going to be behind like this or how can my experiences make me a better, stronger person? I don't believe everything happens for a reason, because I don't believe anyone deserves to get bombed or raped. So it makes it kind of hard to rectify my past. I'm a hard working person but when I look back at what people consider pivotal years of their life I just see a black fog of confusion, sadness, isolation, and reducing motivation levels. I don't blame anyone, I can't. My parents tried.
But what do I make of those memories? I focus on my present and future but it's hard to imagine people accepting my past when I even struggle to accept that I was really like that, leading to the struggles I still deal with. (link)
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The past is DONE. Like a dream it could be unpleasant but has no effect at all anymore unless you give it. It is like looking through a dirty window. Don't let the mud on the window obscure the reality of who you are. You're finally seeing and embracing that person.
Over time you will feel more at ease with social situations and friends. Things may have come slower to you but you will appreciate them more. You are motivated now. It is not about age either. You probably will still get married and believe me some of the people you know who are may be unhappy behind closed doors.
I think if you work with a professional on social skills and relating to your peers that you will make great strides. Also, you may just be introverted and always acted like an adult and not like a kid or have interest in partying. That's fine. Everyone is on a different path and journey. Embrace you.
Also, try taking drama lessons not necessarily improv through parks and rec or wherever. It forces you to work with all types of people to solve problems and succeed. You may find people who genuinely need a friend like you can be and acceptance.
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I used to have two jobs that allowed me to kind of spend money as I pleased (within reason of course). I was making around 1.8k in excess (after bills were paid), which was great and unfortunately I got kind of used to it.
There was one month where I had quite a bit extra in savings...and then my old car died. The repairs for it weren't worth keeping the car so I signed on my first new car instead. Well there went almost all my savings on the down payment. I can still handle the financing charges on my one job so at least that's good.
Exactly a month after that happened, the second company I worked for decided to move overseas where labor is cheaper. I was laid off...that was about a week ago now.
I've been constantly looking for a new job since, but now I'm having a hard time rebalancing my life to not spending the money I was before and I keep forgetting that I'm missing a big chunk of income.
For example, I'll see something I like online and without even thinking, I buy it. Then several hours later I'll remember I don't have extra money to spend and I'll freak out. This has happened FOUR times just this week. I spent $140 on just random stuff I saw and thought "Oh I have to have that!"
That's the second part of my problem, I love fashion so I tend to shop on sites like ebay where people put designer stuff up all the time that are great deals and then I think "I can't miss that deal!" or "I'll never see that item again I need to grab it now!"
Now I'm freaking out a little because I'm getting low on money. I went to cancel the $50 order I made today, but it was too late and it had already been shipped. I also can't return it for a refund unless it's defective.
I sold a purse today for $36 so that will help lessen the blow a little, but that money won't actually get to me until a week from now probably.
I have some other things I want to sell too so I'm going to put them up tomorrow.
What are some ideas on how to stop this behavior until I find another job?
Thank you!
(link)
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It may sound drastic but perhaps you should cut up the credit cards, forget their numbers and block Amazon or EBay where you spend money you don't have. You could also ask your parents to take control of your credit cards and dictate when to use them and debit card. They could then dispense the money you really need and keep you from spending what you can't. No shame in it. I have been there. During the time they would do this have them teach you how to really handle your own finances and manage money and a budget per month consistently.
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My mom has full custody of my nephew and has been raising him since he was 3 he is 13 now. My mom has been raising him because my sister and his dad were both found unfit. His dad hasn't had any involvement in his life since he was born, but the other day he sent him a friend request on facebook. He told my nephew to call him. My nephew asked his grandma if he could call him? She said yes and dad said he was coming to see him. He hasn't bought anything for Christmas or birthdays or even called. I remember last year on his birthday his dad walked by the house and my nephew was outside and his dad didn't say a word to his son. Should we allow visitation? (link)
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Don't judge this man so fast. For all you know there may not have been a single day that went by where he has not thought of or longed for him. It is a judge that kept him away and found him unable to parent. Maybe he has put his life back together and wants to be involved. Perhaps you mom has pushed him away and blocked him all this time. Maybe the Facebook request was a last effort to reach out.
I think your nephew should be told the reasons his father and mother were not in his life and allow him to decide if he wants to know his father or have contact outside of writing him right now or if at all. If he wants to see him in a controlled setting at first seems fine unless there is legal reason they shouldn't.
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To make a long story short I'm at my 3rd college and I want to transfer colleges again.
The first college I went to for a few months and it was one of those dumb little for profit colleges that have commercials on tv, I went there for a year and then transferred to a private college. I loved that college, but unfortunately started dating somebody there who became physically and mentally abusive and I wound up with a restraining order against him and he was forced to move away. I don't want to return to that college now though because I feel like it will only trigger horrible memories.
My current college started off great...until I joined a sorority, became VP, and then dropped from the sorority all in one year. Sorority life was too much of a lifestyle change for me and I was still dealing with anxiety from my past trauma with my ex. Now that I've dropped I don't want to be seen by any of my past sisters. They all turned against me and now I feel like everybody knows me as a failed sorority girl because there's only 2k students at the college. The worst part is next semester (August) all my roommates(3) are sorority girls. I feel like it's going to be hell.
Other than this reason, I'm in major doubt about my degree and my current college is very expensive (22k a year and that's with my scholarships). I also hate the name of my current college because it ends in "College" instead of "University" and sounds like a rinky-dink public college instead of the private college it is.
I now want to transfer again to a new college that's in the same city and is already known for being a really good university because they're part of the STEM program. They have a degree I'm very interested in and I actually already applied a while ago, but never sent them my official transcripts because I wasn't sure I wanted to transfer.
This college doesn't have any kind of sororities or frats and it's even smaller than my current college. I feel like I can't mess it up this time if I transfer again. I'll just lay low and make small groups of friends and focus on my job and studies.
The new college is also wayyy cheaper.
The issue is if I transfer again then I face having to start all over 2 years into college with a new degree and major.
Should I just tough it out at my current college or consider switching over one more time and then staying put?
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You need your rightful place not necessarily your cheapest option. The problem is you aren't sure what you want to do with your life or degree you want. If you transferred again you may find yourself in the right situation or unfortunately another wrong turn.
I don't think anyone was being insensitive by saying that this is an indicator that maybe you should leave this school and figure out what you want to do before spending a lot more money that may be difficult to earn. You don't want to spend x amount on a degree you don't know you want to pursue and be in debt for it later. Taking some time to figure stuff out makes perfect sense.
I am sorry you suffered abuse and had to get a restraining order. However, he is out of your life permanently and it's not the school you dread as it's fine but negative memories that you should not allow to ruin your education and a place you might actually belong in.
As far as the catty dumb sorority girls go that's where they will be stuck maturity, ignorance and intellectually. You are far better off without them and they cannot and do not have the power to turn 2,000 other people against you. It is just not possible in reality.
Like someone else said getting career advice from a professional and therapy may help you find where you belong and where you need to go but it takes patience and perhaps waiting while you sort it out. That's okay.
I don't think what a person below me said was meant as insensitive because colleges recruiters and job recruiters are actually SOBS and can see only that you transferred X amount of times and not the reason why. It definitely happens and yes you have to be aware that they do in fact judge before interviewing people.
Back to the abuse you definitely need professional assistance to deal with the anger, confusion, self-doubt and your overall well-being since then so you can move forward in all aspects of your life.
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So I was at a small get together a couple days ago with like 4 other people, there was one acquaintance there that I noticed was super outgoing, she could start a convo with anybody about anything and never had awkward silences and pauses. Meanwhile when she talked to me, (having social anxiety/socially awkward) I would try so hard to carry the convo but I ended up having the awkward silences, they're not awkward for me cause I'm used to them but for the other person they prob are. I didn't really talk much at the gathering because I didn't really know the people except for the host and the acquaintance, but either way even if I know the person I'm still really quiet and I hate it. I want to be outgoing so bad but I'm not, thanks in advance if you've read this far and answer. (link)
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That's the thing some people are naturally introverted while others are extroverted. That's okay. The problem is you are striving too hard to become what you are not and cannot. You have to be you and that's what will get you friends and make you do well in conversations. Who knows what anyone is thinking at any moment. Odds are they aren't thinking badly of you when you speak but rather thinking and hoping they come across right to you.
If there is a gap in conversation with someone new or even long time friend explain briefly that you have an anxiety disorder and talking to new people isn't easy. They will understand and want to help you more often than not.
I think the best thing to do is work with a therapist, teacher or counselor on how to have better conversations and social skills and work around the disorder. You should also join student council and take drama or improv lessons because you are required to work with people who are all different from you and how to work together and converse to achieve a common goal.
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So I'm 13 and I'm about to move in to year 9 and turn 14 in January I know legally you have to be 16 to have sex but I really feel like I want to explore my body through another boy doing it? What age is the best? (link)
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General rule of thumb about anything sexual with a partner is that if you aren't sure whether you want to or are ready means you aren't and shouldn't yet. It is not about age but rather maturity of both partners, boundaries, being in control and knowing for sure you want to do this and above all trust.
If this is something you want to do eventually and have a partner you trust try talking about things first and work towards. There's no rush. It's fine to want to explore one's body but for you right now nothing wrong with it being alone and learning that way until totally ready and okay with the idea of a partner. For now you are waivering on this which is indicator you're not there yet.
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I'm trying to stop drinking soda, but I always get a craving after a while and I drink it too much. I've been drinking water, but I don't like it that much. (link)
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Here is what I would do. There are packages of drops that Dasaini, Nestle etc. make that you will find in any Wal-mart or grocery store where they have bottled water. There are multiple flavor droplets that you squeeze into a bottle of water and then the water tastes like pop minus all the sugar and bad stuff. You can get anything from orange, cranberry, lemon, ice-tea etc. Check them out.
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