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Should I continue to try and talk my daughter out of this?
My 20 year old daughter attends college and the fall semester is obviously winding down. Recently, she informed me that she won't be coming straight home once her classes are done. The reason? She incurred a traffic ticket earlier this year and intends to pay it off with time served in jail.
Apparently when you get a ticket (in the state where she attends school at least), you can go to court and ask the judge if you can serve jail time in lieu of paying the ticket. This is what my daughter intends to do.
I offered to loan her the money, but she declined. She says taking care of this ticket is her responsibility, that she'll only be in for a few days, and afterward she'll be coming straight home.
While I admire her desire to stand on her own two feet and handle this herself, I can't help but worry. Her court date isn't for another couple weeks, so she'll be done with finals by the time she reports to jail. She's also assured me this won't pose a problem with future employment. Should I continue to try and talk her out of this? I suppose it could be a good lesson learned. I just hate for her to do this.
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Your daughter thinks that by going to jail she is saving the cost of the fine but at a terrible toll on the rest of her life. Yes she is accepting punishment for speeding which is a misdemeanor offence which is on a driving record for 5 years. Going to jail in lieu of paying the fine is on her record for life.
Even though she is serving a jail sentence for a misdemeanor what shows up on a background search is she has a prison record. She probably will not get the chance to explain that it was for a traffic ticket she could not afford to pay. Even if she is upfront about the time in jail any position applied for that requires security clearance will be denied because of it. Does she want to be a lawyer she can forget about that too as she will have trouble being admitted to the Bar.
On one hand I think it is admirable that she wants to handle this on her own the best away she can. But remind her she will not be segregated from other prisoners. she will be put in general population with hardened criminal awaiting trial. A young, pretty innocent thing like her in jail will be fresh meat for them to abuse She is actually putting herself in danger by going to jail.
If she were my daughter I would pay the fine for her with or without her consent. She is placing her life in jeopardy by going to jail.
Contact the clerk of the district court for the jurisdiction where she went to court. Find out what the fine is and give them a credit card number to pay the fine with. IF they will not take a credit card get a money order and overnight it to them. Then call the next afternoon and make sure they received it and get confirmation the ticket is paid.
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Ask her if she wants to ever travel anywhere in the world aside from the U.S again? Guess what? No matter what a person goes to jail for it is on permanent criminal record. They can bar you entry to a country even for smallest infraction. It makes no sense at all to do time in jail over a traffic ticket. Just pay it even if she doesn't feel she deserved to have been written up or see a lawyer they appoint to fight it. She must have done more than just get a ticket here as jail time makes no sense as a pentalty for just a ticket.
I have a suspicion she did something she doesn't want you having any knowledge of that jail is the only option. The only other thing I can think of is that she's with someone you would disapprove of and needs those few days to go someplace with them.
If it's just a ticket than you need to level with her how going to jail for anything no matter severity can permanently screw you later on in ways you never thought of. She should wise up and get that ticket dealt with.
Obviously, she doesn't sound like a rational person and logic and reasoning isn't there. If she has been having weird thoughts, grandiose ideas, borderline delusion, poor choices and total out of character stuff manic highs and lows it could be a mental health issue bipolar etc landing her in a mess. Something is up and I would pay her an unexpected visit to sort it out. I think you have more than a ticket and 5 days in jail here to avert. Something isn't right.
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