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Why did I have such a hard time in high school and how do I grow from it?
I'm turning my life around now in college and I just find it insane how so many kids were on the right track during my most difficult years in my life. Most people have school dance memories, first relationship memories, hanging out with their friends memories and for me it was mostly just blank. Watching tv, going online, lacking motivation, having no confidence, etc. Even as an adult female now, I'm still learning how to do social relationships properly.. it makes me feel like a child to be so behind, while my peers are getting married, starting jobs above the minimum wage, and so on.
Why didn't things just click for me too, when I was younger, like they are now? The only thing I've really changed is my diet, but I knew kids who ate terrible diets and still did really well in school, so I'm not even sure. My parents were pretty uninvolved and I really needed someone to kick my butt, cause at the time, I didn't know how to discipline myself to reach my dreams.
Is that all it was?But it doesn't also explain why I had so much difficulty relating to my peers. Even now at 20 I still only use my phone to communicate with my immediate family and co-workers 99% of the time
Am I always going to be behind like this or how can my experiences make me a better, stronger person? I don't believe everything happens for a reason, because I don't believe anyone deserves to get bombed or raped. So it makes it kind of hard to rectify my past. I'm a hard working person but when I look back at what people consider pivotal years of their life I just see a black fog of confusion, sadness, isolation, and reducing motivation levels. I don't blame anyone, I can't. My parents tried.
But what do I make of those memories? I focus on my present and future but it's hard to imagine people accepting my past when I even struggle to accept that I was really like that, leading to the struggles I still deal with.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Random Weirdos?
The past is DONE. Like a dream it could be unpleasant but has no effect at all anymore unless you give it. It is like looking through a dirty window. Don't let the mud on the window obscure the reality of who you are. You're finally seeing and embracing that person.
Over time you will feel more at ease with social situations and friends. Things may have come slower to you but you will appreciate them more. You are motivated now. It is not about age either. You probably will still get married and believe me some of the people you know who are may be unhappy behind closed doors.
I think if you work with a professional on social skills and relating to your peers that you will make great strides. Also, you may just be introverted and always acted like an adult and not like a kid or have interest in partying. That's fine. Everyone is on a different path and journey. Embrace you.
Also, try taking drama lessons not necessarily improv through parks and rec or wherever. It forces you to work with all types of people to solve problems and succeed. You may find people who genuinely need a friend like you can be and acceptance.
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We all have lots of maturing and growing and experiencing to do once we are out of high school. We do some of that during college years whether in school or not.
The truth is that a great majority of teens all have angst of some kind. For myself, it was social anxiety, others compare their looks to others and feel bad, others just want to be popular but are too shy, we have low self esteem and practically no self confidence.
I just attended my 40th High School reunion. I wasn't able to make the 2 last ones. What I learned there blew me away.
Of those you saw who seemed to enjoy school and get involved, going to dances, etc... the majority were just good at masking their shyness, introverted-ness, and low self confidence. I am no longer shy of approaching people and did so at reunion. When I told people I was too shy to even make friends in HS, and wished I was more like them, they ALL except 2, told me that they had anxieties and issues and it was hard for them. In fact, there were a few for whom it was kinda hard to talk and mingle at the reunion, scary for them. So it was me, the one who used to be scared and lonely in HS who was putting them at ease. One gal apologized for never befriending me as she had and still has, the same as I had once, social anxiety.
The majority are all somewhat scared and go thru the motions and fake it well how they feel. Then a small amount were like me and you. Another tiny amount are the ones who were popular and that was only because they had self confidence. I went to grade school with such a girl. These people are still confident today and had lots of people vying for their attention at the reunion. So no matter how bad your HS days were, even at a 10 yr reunion, you can attend and forge new friendships because all the people have changed and matured.
HOw do a whole group mature at the same time?
In HS our bodies were mature, but our brains were not yet done growing. There is no person who gets to skip this point. We all have under developed frontal lobes while in HS. THe lobes aren't done growing until mid twenties (a Scientific fact) that is the one thing that does change. So don't spend too much time looking back at your past or you may miss a lot of things that were meant for you in the present.
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It`s a really hard for you but it`s normal. You are growing up and you feel that nobody understands you and you get a lot of problems now. But you`ll be okay. I also had very tough times in college once but it was connected to educational problems and my success achievements. But I have solved all my issues due to [Link](Mouse over link to see full location) and now I`m happy with my college life :)
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