Sweet_LiL_Angel's advice column

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Q: Both of us are in college.

She asks me if I can see us together, what it'll be like, how we'll live, kids, etc etc. Problem is I'm not sure I can think that way. See I'm excruciatingly busy, as is she, and things are very uneasy right now, e.g. I don't have a clue what I'll be doing next week let alone next year. So when she asks me to explain the future, I don't know what to say.

Subsequently we broke up, mostly due to the fact that she doesn't want to be with someone that doesn't see a future. Its not that I don't see a future with her as I don't see a future period. I honestly have no idea what things are going to be like or what I'm going to do. I still love her, and she says that she loves me as well.

Should we have broken up? If not, how can we get back together (my thoughts haven't changed, nor have hers). Thanks.

Just tell her that you love her and tell her a future it doesnt have to be the truth nor a lie neither of you know what the future is like call her up and tell her you see each other in a beatiful houe with a fenced in back yard with (x) kids we are sitting on chairs in the back yard watching our children play i mean an adorable story of what you can picture it doesnt have to be what you really think is going to happen tell her years from know i see my self with you happily married etc.

Q: I attend a nearly all white academy, but, me being black, I have never fit in. Every day, being teased because I'm no good at sports, because of my race, anything. My teacher had stopped me after class and asked if things were okay because he had been worried about me. I was too afraid to tell him anything. I also had lacrosse practice (they require you to play sports at school) and I spent twenty minutes sobbing in the bathroom because I was being made fun of. I'm also confused because I don't see why I am treated differently from everyone else. I'm always the one by myself. I just don't want to deal with this anymore. The only person (well, thing) I have to talk to is an old teddy bear. I can't talk to my teachers, my dad won't listen and my mom doesn't have the time to listen. Please help...

Hun don't feel sad a lot of people go threw this and no matter what you cant give up. I may not be able to relate to you but I feel for you. Its hard I had been teased in school and I have cried. Have you talked about switching schools? Kids can be hateful and mean and im glad you are not brought up that way but i really feel you need to talk to someone like your teachers or principals even if you dont feel you can they are not there just to teach you they are there to help you go back to that teacher sit down and explain i am kind of scared to talk about this but I am tired of being picked on by all the other kids explain why they are picking on you and let him know you cant take it anymore. remember they are there to help maybe they can all gather in the gym and talk about how much bullying hurts.

Q: I know I will probably get a lot of rude replies, but.. I feel it is the best for my child. I am currently going through a divorce, and of course there is a child involved. The thing is, I never wanted to have her, but because of my religion I was unable to get an abortion. During the time I've raised her, I could never love her. I did try with all my being, but I just could not love her. I am also concerned for her because of her father. I feel the reason I can't care about her is because I hate her father. I felt it may be best if I gave up on her and allowed her to live with him and his family. Is me being unable to love her a valid reason to be able to terminate my parental rights?

first off are you asking this question because you arent sure or because you are thinking about what people would say? ( i only say that because you said you would proably get rude replies.) If you dont love your child. Your hurting her. Every child needs their parent to show them love and being a parent in an enjoyable thing. What concerns you about her father. is he abusive is he not good with her? if he is a good father who loves his child than ya id give it a chance but i think you need to try it first. Do visitation let them see her for a week. give you a break do you find your self constantly thinking about her. upset depressed if so than no you dont need to terminate your rights. if you dont care than ya maybe you should.

Q: Me and my boyfriend have been together for for nearly five years. We had decided that we wanted to get married and start a family. But in the last two months things have gotten very hectic. He is extremely stressed because he had not been working.I was going to school and working to pay our bills. He gets very depressed and thinks that I will be better off without him. He has cheated before but that was four years ago and we have already worked that out. Now he thinks that he will do it again and can't be with me because he believes that he will only end up hurting me. I can see that he is happy with me and he does love me, but I don't know how I can fix the problems if he is unwilling to help.

Help him find a job and get back on his feet. and if he truely things he is going to go out and be with someone else just because hes depressed and doesnt have a job is he really for you?

Q: what can be said to a friend that's husband just died?

Not much can be said. Be there for her. Help her make her dinner a couple times or desserts. Be there to talk to her and maybe as friends take her out to the movies just to get her mind off everything. You have to be the one to comfort her.

Q: So if you haven't read my last post, I am dating a really nice guy. We've spoken on Facebook and we have mutual friends, but we barely knew each other until Saturday. I spent the whole day with him. I really am beginning to like him. He's very smart, funny, and quirky. I feel really happy around him. He told me he's liked me ever since he texted me from my friend's phone in December...and he said he likes me even more now since we spent the day together.

However, I sometimes feel like he doesn't like me as much as I like him. Like, I know it's early in our relationship, but I can't help but doubt. For instance, he and I barely talked yesterday. He was sweet in person, but through the computer he's rather quiet. He doesn't have a cell so it's difficult to talk unless we speak over yahoo messenger and Facebook. He goes to a different school, too.

I was supposed to meet him at the park an hour ago. I reminded him this morning and last night. He never replied. I think he's shady. He accepted my yahoo request this morning but didn't reply to any of my messages. This is bringing me down.

Help!

I think you should write him again and ask him if he forgot about the park? Over the internet its very hard to read anyone. I mean some guy or girl couldl be totally in love with you but you cant tell their expressions.

Q: Okay so I met this very cute and nice guy at my brothers wrestling ternement like three weeks ago (we knew eachother befor but really never hanged out) and we been hanging out when I see him,but now I can't see him nomore since my brothers wrestling is over. I honestly liked him when we started to hangout . Its been a long time since the last time I saw him. Now I can't get stop thinking about him, what do I do?

Do you have a facebook? Search him? Do you go to the same school as your brother look him up?

Q: My period has been somewhat irregular but lately I've been more on a normal schedule.
However I'm about three weeks late. I've been under a crazy amount of stress this last month though. My boyfriend and I haven't actually had sex, but we've definitely come really close to it and he's cum around me before. So I guess I'm just wondering if it's possible that I could get pregnant without having sex and if my period could be late because of the mass amount of stress. I'm hoping it's the second.

With out having sex there is no way possible that you are pregnant. Yes any amount of stress can cause you to miss your period and if you have been irregular chances are you are just irregular again birth control can regulate your periods.

Q:

Basically my question is, what would you classify me as?

I was a good girl growing up. Like no intercourse or anything. I was locked down in the house getting grades. Then I hit college or in other words freedom. Boys and liquor got introduced. I started to become sexual as in giving and receiving oral. I believe I am sexual to a point, but I am 19 and still a virgin. Yes I said it, 19 and still a virgin. 20 in 17 days! lol I have done many sexual things I am not proud of. Like giving oral to a guys friend 2 months after talking to that guy. I feel like some people would classify me as a slut because of the number of guys I gave oral to. But I am much more than that. I am very loving and caring! But all people see when they see me is, she give good head. I want to start over you know? I like holding onto my virginity so at least I can still hold on to that good girl. So, what would you consider me?

Thankyou if you can get to this question.

No I do not think you are slut. I am glad you are holding on to your virginity. be careful with the drinking and partying though. I think you are a rebelling from being held down and unable to do anything growing up. I know alot of people like that.

Q: my boyfriend is coming over this weekend for the firstime and my mom embarreses me whenever a new guy comes over what should I do? plus he has a mental illness and he talks to him self what if she is mean to him when he comes over?

Just tell your mom how you feel? Let her no about your boyfriends condition. Tell her how much you care about him and you want this to be perfect.

Q: Long story short, I asked a friend to prom who wasn't my boyfriend. The Thing is, I knew my boyfriend didn't really want to go, although he offered to take me. He hates dances and wouldn't enjoy himself, I didn't wan't to force him into a situation that makes him unhappy. We also have a long distance relationship, so I would have to pay a lot more money to take him when he wouldn't really want to be there in the first place. I genuinely thought that he would be relieved not to go, but I made the mistake of assuming he would be okay with it. However, when I told him he was really upset. We have been going out for almost a year and never fought until now. I feel terrible and want to make it up to him more than anything. Please, I need some advice on how to fix this ad apologize.

I think you should tell the guy you are going with that you decided to take your boyfriend. apoligize and maybe all go to dinner or something before the dance. but i would really be upset to if i was in your boyfriends situation. I would hate fo rmy boyfriend to be going to prom with someone else. our relationship probably wouldnt last. he offered to go to make you happy prom is a big deal and he wants you to remember it with him.

Q: My dad was in a car accident a few days ago but doesnt have lawyer money?
He says his neck hurts and it costs 4,000 to get the car fixed and we don't have that money. The airbag stopped him from getting killed. A girl hit my dad real hard on his drivers side and she ran off in her car. My dad was the only one in the car, he was so shook up he didn't get her license plate number. He has insurance and we know nothing about the girl. she drove away when he said he was calling the police. He has witnesses that saw the girl crash into him. The people don't know what the girls name is or where she lives but they know where she hangs out at and they told the police. They did a police report and my dad hasn't got it yet. I don't think he knows what to do about this. We took pictures of the car and he thinks that's all he has to have.We haven't found the girl that hit him and he cant afford a lawyer. He doesn't have $4000 to pay for what the girl did. He thinks he can get a lawyer for free. What is he supposed to do since hes saying his back hurts and the car is wrecked on the side and he cant get a lawyer?

Well he should go to the doctor and tell the doctor what happen and they will do some xray or what ever to make sure that he is alright. The police will investigate the gate just call every other day or so and ask if they have found out any information in your fathers case. Call his insurance company and explain to them what happened. You can call your public defenders office and see if they will cover something like this. and alot of lawyers will work with you such as only paying in you win. letting you make payments. etc.

Q: i have no clue how much it hurts to break a bone. I have never broken a bone. In the past weeks ive been trying to get in shape. I think something happened to my left foot because whenever i walk it hurts in the same spot . I kind of limp cause it hurts. I have no idea what it is if i should go to doctor or maybe just go away ina week?

You should always go to the doctor if you are thinking about seeing a doctor than go. It sounds like a sprain when you break a bone there is usually swelling. But id still go and get an xray taken.

Q: im 18/f hes 19/m

okay so im falling for my best friend really really badly. I've liked him for a couple of months. But i get confused cause sometimes i think he really likes me to, then he'll say or do something that makes me think otherwise. Anyway, the other night after spending the day together, just he and i, we were talking on msn...We were talking like we normally were, laughing about funny things that happened when we were together and whatnot. Then he goes
"new formspring" (formspring is a question site me and him both go on. were you can anonymously ask people questions) and i thought he wanted me to see the answer to the new question he just answered. so anyways i told him ill go look at it now. and then he started FREAKING out. he's like "don't look! i'm deleting it right now!" etc etc. He really didnt want me to see it, but by the time he said so, id already read it. and this is what it said: (the question was: why are you just feeling okay?)

"fuck it. im goiing to spill my problems randomly. i dont share shit with anybody, but im half druink and im up for shit! ahhaha
...
so i have a prioblem.
i think i like sombody (i do, i just wanma make sure)
and i think i wanna get back in a relatiuonship. but at the same time i dont.
i need to be single and stuffs and do single things.
i like being indepoendant and only worrying about myself, but i miss having somebody to cuddle wiyth and stuff :c
butttttttt if i take too long, i think the girl im sorta keenish ion will find a guy amnd then ill be fucked :c
WHAT DO I DO"

after i told him i read it he was worried that he looked like an idiot, i tried to reassure him otherwise haha. i mean its pretty cute how scared he is of losing this 'mystery girl'....i just got the feeling that the way he was acting and everything..that it was about me... what do you think?

I think its possible that it could be about you but if you have feelings for him. Give him hints that you are liking him to. Or answer the question.. Tell him if you really have feelings for this girl and dont want the oppurtunity to sneak by you then go for it weather you want to be single or not being with someone is always better excsepcially if you really have feelings for that person.

Q: I am 22/F, go to college full-time and also work. I have a good job, a great boyfriend, and a wonderful family. I go to school most of the week and usually work during the weekends or when I can. The problem is I'm being torn in all different directions. My mom thinks I should devote more time to school, my boss wants me to work more, and my boyfriend tells me he never gets to see me. I try to split my time fairly, but it just seems its a never ending battle. I never even have a chance to just sit down and have time for myself. These are supposed to be the best years of my life, but I've never been so unhappy. I see my friends going out Saturday nights having fun at the bar, and I'm either home studying, working long hours or sleeping! These years are going to pass by so quick and I'm going to be left with no memories, just exhausted. How do I manage my time and also combine it with being happy?

Have you thought about taking the summer off for school? Its not giving up its just taking a break that you deserve that gives you time with boyfriend and sometime to work. If it makes your mom upset tell her you just need a little break and your going right back to school after this summer is over.

Q: I met someone new and when yet texted me in the very beginning ofthe Text it said *high* and then a red exclamation point by their name before I read it.

What does that mean?

it was an urgeent text message. some phones do all there texts like that because the setting is set on that and people just dont change it.

Q: 16/f
i go to a very small high school. probably 100 students max. i was walking in the hall with one of my friends and this guy bumps into me and smiles then my friend gave him a hug since they somewhat friends then as i was walking away he says "i can't get a hug?" with his arms open so i hugged him and started laughing. i'm not quite sure why he even did that. it wasn't awkward though it just left me and my friend a bit confused. any ideas?

He was probably being nice he gave your friend a hug so he gave you one to. Or he thought you were cute. There could be a number of reasons but id go with the first one.

Q: You guys i need serious help....
I am so scared of these people i met about a year ago... we got close, cause one of them made it her "mission" to be my friend because they "needed a pretty girl" in their crew... i could even tell how slick and psychopathic it all really was now... they have pictures of me partying and getting drunk and then sick everywhere... and i am so scared it would get out because it would ruin my career big time let alone my family (especially my dad's job would get effected) i don't trust these people and feel that should i leap into my new career (i just finished college) and leave them and make something of myself they might resort to blackmail or even just exposing me for publicity since they are stuck in a rut doing drugs and drinking all the time. i am over that phase and i've "seen the world and got it out of my system" and never want to go through what i went through (and wish it never happened) i admit i jumped into it being the naive overprotected girl that i am but i have learned my lesson with a biggg price tag plastered on it... how do i make these pictures go away? they have serious evidence! i don't want to hang around these girls and staying on their good side means having to play their game which is ruining my future! ditching them is digging my own grave.... time is sensitive and i don't know what to do!!!! please help me.

I think you should talk to your family fix the problem before it gets worse. Sit down with your family and talk to them that you got wrapped up in wanting to hang and tell them yes i screwed up im sorry i just want out. Once you talk to them itll relief alot of stress then id talk to the police. tell them everything that you wrote on here for advice not like tattling. but seeking help.

Q: My boyfriend of four months broke up with me because his dad, who lives in California, doesn't approve of us going out.

I was very upset. I told him all my thoughts. I told him I couldn't believe him. I freaked out. And an hour later, he said he loves me but now he knows I don't want to get back together. He never mentioned it being temporary. He is trying to put the blame on me. I know I most likely hurt him but he never specified. Now he thinks I hate him. I really do love him and I don't want to lose him. He said he'll never have me convinced that he won't hurt me. I love him so much though. I never meant anything I said.

He wants to meet me in the morning so we can talk.

Guys I need help. Like urgently. Because I don't know what to do. He thinks I hate him when I don't.

What do I do?

Tell him howyou feel before he has time to speak. Tell him listen. I love you and I don't want to lose you. Ask how can your dad not approve of me when he lives far away. Tell him it hurt you when he told you he wanted to end the relationship because his father didnt want him to be with you and explain to him Tel him you under stand how important family is but he didnt even try to convince his father how important i mean to you.

Q: 18/f

I'm a teenage girl.. obviously I want money so i can spend it on things I like. I haven't gone shopping since last summer.. I can't remember the last time I even bought something for myself just for the hell of it.

Just an FYI, i'm suffering with minor depression (personal issues going on). My friend told me that I should try to splurge and buy stuff for myself to make me feel better about myself. Like buying a new outfit or buying new makeup etc. But the thing is.. I HAVE NO MONEY! :(

I'm looking for jobs but here's the thing.. i play volleyball and its all year round. Plus I play competitively which means I practice 3 times per week and have tournaments every other weekend. When i'm not playing ball, i'm at school or doing homework. If i'm not doing that, i'm doing house work (don't have a mom) so i have to cook and clean and do laundry for me and my dad. (he's no help). If i'm not doing house work or homework or sports, i hang out with my boyfriend. Simply put.. i have no time for myself. Like i said, i have minor depression and I would really like to spend more time for myself. I'd like to get my hair done, or nails done, go shopping etc. but i have no money :(

do you have any advice or tips on how i can get some money? like i said before, i'm a really busy person. I don't have much time for a job. if i did have one, i could work 1 day per week. MAYBE 2 or 3 times every other week. Is there any sort of job that is flexible enough for me? Or any other ways to attain money? I've tried selling useless things on craigslist but its really slow :/ HELP! (no garage sale. i live in a very very small town in the middle of no where and nobody would want my rotten stuff anyways haha)

thank you!!!

Try McDonalds. I know it sounds crapy but I really love my job just wish it paid more. You can work certain days they are pretty flexabile on your scheduling and youll make a little bit of money yu can work 2 days a week. volley ball allll the time might not be for you no matter how much you love it. and your dad is old enough to start taking care of him self you are 18 you wont be living there for ever.

bio

My name is Ashley. I am 22 years old. Ill be celebrating my 3rd 21st birthday June :) . I had my first child at 15. I got married at 18 and had another child shortly after. They have two different fathers. I am currently going threw a divorce. I moves states after we seperated ( ugly seperation) but I had no family in that state. I left everything except my beautiful babies and our clothes. I found a job up north and things are going good. I am dating. I have been in abusive situations. I am going to college for psychology and sociaology. Im here to listen help and give you advice ive been in alot of different situations and can relate to a lot.