A quick note: If I answered a question and you have further questions for me, please include a URL link to your original question(s) so that I can be sure of what we're talking about. Questions that reference something we talked about a week ago that I can't quite remember are kinda hard to answer.
Welcome to my column.
I don't apologize for my answers. I speak to the audience, and in doing so I sometimes tell the audience things they don't want to hear or cant handle.
I believe in stands on principle. I believe that doing right for the sake of doing right is a good way to live. I believe in self awareness and encourage it in others. I offer the most unbiased viewpoint I have. And yes, I am only human.
Im going to tell you what I think you need to hear. You are not supposed to take what I say and follow it. You are supposed to take what I say and _think_about_it_
Oh, and feel free to ask me questions, but netspeak, ebonics, terrible grammar, and your teen angst about a crush will be ignored.
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Member Since: July 16, 2007
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Last Update: April 13, 2014
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Advice man, Sweet Angel, Rahzie, Sage Advisor and so on...
http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?mode=myque&c=all
There are my questions from the last two years of my life. The bunch of you have been giving my the same advice repeatedly. I would rate 5s and try to listen, but could not. I just want to let you know, that was "the dumb girl" I have found a new me completley. I kicked my ex out on June 7th. He is in jail now for robbery and I could not be happier. He wants my sympathy, he went through rehab and claims he is a brand new person and all better. Guess what? I don't give a damn. He could have turned into the pope and I will NEVER let him back into my life. Even after I kicked him out, he free loaded off a buddy. Blew up my phone all of the time. We got together ONE night, i started falling back into it....and the next day he blew me off when it came to watching the baby so I could work. At that point, I said FUCK IT. DONE. Stuck to it. 5 Days later, he robs someone, then checks himself into rehab. I found a good friend again, the day after I kicked him out. As he is in rehab (read the questions about my euphoric dream) things between pete and I take a turn at a party one night. He begins to kiss me and tell me how bad he has been wanting to do that for 5 years. Its pretty surreal. I wasnt expecting anything to happen between the two of us, we were just really good friends, and then that happened and there was so much passion I could not believe it. I asked if he was going to take me on a date and he said "hell yes!" its been 3 weeks, we have been on two dates and hang out all of the time (not around my daughter yet) he hasnt tried to go any further than making out, he said he doesnt want to rush anything so we are just taking it sloooooow and its going great! i know you may say that this was the wrong thing to do, but I wouldnt be rolling with it unless it felt right. I dont plan on introducing my daughter and him until its been official for atleast 6 months. I have my head in the game. My world is not wrapped around this guy at all. I am starting school full time september 6th, getting my associates in general studies and then transferring to university to get my bachelors in psychology, eventually my masters and ultimately my doctorate. I want to help young mothers like myself, I have never felt like things are going in the right direction until now. I know I am doing what I have to do to fix my mistakes and create an amazing life for my beautiful daughter. Babydad is freaking out about my new guy, he says that my daughter deserves a shot at this with him being sober. I am not the least bit attracted to him anymore and have no respect so it is never going to work I just dont know how else to make him see it. I am talking to an attorney tomorrow about what my next move is regaurding parental rights. I just wanted to tell you guys that I read through all of my questions today and see exactly what you were all screaming at me. I am a new Sarah now, and I love being just me. So thank you SO much advicenators, I owe my new found life to you. Sadly, I wont be posting on here much more, I have turned to reddit.com Add me, xRAHx.
Love you all,
this site is amazing. (link)
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Go check out /r/seduction or "seddit" and then rethink spending time with that community.
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So it's been approximately four months since I've gone passed first base with anyone and needless to say, I'm extremely sexually frustrated. I'm not looking for a relationship or anything (though one would be nice). Just some good natured fun. How do I go about getting guys? I'm not really attractive so I don't have that going for me. Any advice would be appreciated. (link)
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What's the difference between desperate and sexy?
Confidence.
Since you seem to not have enough of your own, here's some from the outside. Men are easy. You're more than smart enough to attract one of us, we're kind of wired to respond to the right signals. Well, signal.
That signal, in blunt terms, is a woman who knows we would have fun having sex with her and wants us to know it too.
From that perspective, perhaps he isn't interested in the moment, or perhaps he's just already gotten interested in someone else before you got there. What can you do? Sometimes the timing is off.
If it's not, a smile and some friendly flirting and making your intentions to take him home if he's interested in going generally gets a positive response from guys who are possibly out looking for the same.
For once, clubs aren't a bad idea. Just carry a condom in your purse because you don't want him to not or to carry it in his wallet or something.
Last, directly compliment men. We don't expect it. If a woman likes you she'll generally take a well phrased "nice ass" comment quite well. Guys are no different. If you think a guy is sexy, make eye contact and tell him.
Don't chase. Hit and run. The flirting game can be alot of fun and excitement on both sides, when you make it clear you're there to play people generally respond.
Being attractive is way more about attitude than appearance. So long as you're neat and put together guys will only give your looks a passing nod when you've got our eyes locked on yours and smile that "I'd like to devour you" smile.
We like that smile. Alot.
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What are 3 things you wanted as a kid but never got? (link)
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Loving parents, good advice, and some G.I. Joe mobile command center with missile launchers thing that came out in like 92.
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Why is virginity valued by some people/ cultures? (link)
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Yes, usually in a highly misogynistic way.
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First Thanks for your help about every part of the laptop , and now I've decided to buy one with these charactaristics: 4GB of RAM , 500GB Hard Drive , 500MB Video Card( I didn't find any 1GB video card) , and an Intel i5 Processor and ofcorse a wireless PCMCIA card ... so are these good enough to last for 4 years ? (link)
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That should definitely be able to run games. You might well hit a point where you have to play most games on medium and maybe eventually low settings, but not for several years.
Cost wise, it depends on who you get it from, which parts they use, etc. Laptops are more expensive both because they require more labor to assemble or otherwise work with, and are more delicate, but it depends entirely on the vendor.
I'd say between 2 and 3 grand for what you want as a ballpark estimate. If you want a baseline price go design yourself a dell on their website and see what quote it gives you for the cost, and you can bet most other places will be within 500 up or down of that price for similar specs. After that it's just shopping around for the best deal from a place you are willing to deal with if you have technical issues.
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So guys please could anyone give me all the parts charactaristics of a realy good gaming laptop?
I wonna buy a very good gaming laptop so please give me a list that I would be able to give to the shop owner and buy the laptop from him
All the charactaristics needed please e.g : RAM,Processor,Hard Drive,VGA ...
Helpers Really Appreciated :D :D (link)
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For basic stats...
4 gigs ram minimum
500 gig hard drive minimum. 7200 RPM if possible (higher is better)
video card with 256 mb memory or more. Honestly, I don't think I'd bother getting a gaming laptop with a vid card with less than 500 mb though. I have 1 gig in my tower and I run everything at highest settings, and I wouldn't have it any other way. If you're dropping a few grand, it's worth the extra few hundred (considering it's supposed to be a gaming laptop) to extend it's gaming life by two or three years by giving it the best video card you can find for it.
You want a multicore processor. Intel i5 mobile if you can get it. They're expensive, but they kick all kinds of processing ass. Quad cores are getting pretty standard, so any processor in that family would work, but if you can afford it shoot for the over 2 ghz ones.
That's really the basics of what you need. You want an integrated wireless card, you might want to see if they have one with an antenna port so you can choose to spend another 20 bucks and boost reception by like half a mile if you need to. That can help alot if you are taking it to college or something.
Now, shop owner? Buying a computer is a big investment, especially a gaming laptop. You can drop three grand on this without blinking. I highly recommend finding someone organized enough that they ship out computers.
Check out resellerratings.com. It can be a great resource for independent vendors. I found a company, they actually ended up dying and closing down, but while they were active they built me a kick ass computer that's been perfect for two years now. Buy a few PC gaming magazines and see who advertises, then google the hell out of them to see if they have online reviews so you can see what it's like. Read the worst reviews first, angry people usually have a reason to be angry and you can see your worst case scenarios.
When in doubt, consider buying a dell. The warranty is worth it. They're a terrible fucking company in so many ways, but being able to drop your computer, tell them that, and get a new one is something that might just save your ass someday.
A final note. If this isnt a computer being built by a serious company that uses standardized parts, get a part list. If a local shop is building the computer tell them you want a comprehensive list of components like the motherboard, a sound card if it's not on-board the motherboard, the specific wireless card, etc.
It is my experience that small shops rip you off the most. They will give you sub standard parts and charge you like they put in top of the line. Any shop should be able to provide you a breakdown of the price and labor. If they won't, don't buy from them. There are also plenty of places where they won't let you choose parts and will refuse to give you a computer with anything other than the parts they choose at the price they set. Places like this aren't places you want to do business with.
Order from a gaming laptop making company, buy a dell, or find a friend who's really techie who you trust to build a rig. I like the third option when it's available, but I'm techie myself and just haven't touched anything hardware in years. I buy all the parts myself and bring them to a friend and he puts it together for me for a hundred bucks for like two hours of labor.
The last time I got a computer I got absolute top of the line, best of everything you could buy, for under 1500 including the monitor. Would have cost me four and a half grand to get the equivalent from any company out there.
And if you are actually in college or getting this to go there, you might get lucky and have a university deal to get software cheap as hell. I bought Windows XP and microsoft office from UT a while back for a total of 20 bucks. Retail it was over five hundred just for that.
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Hey man! It's wrong.The premarital sex thing.GOD Answered the question HIMSELF through people.Thanks anyways.Deuteronomy 22:13-the end.Try reading it. (link)
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So, do you know anything about inheritance laws of the past? About how a man's inheritance pretty much determined his social standing and political power and everything else about his life?
Because pre-marital sex laws were made by man in order to combat issues like having kids with multiple people which would distort inheritance, and diminish trackable family lines. It comes from a time without effective birth control when a "bastard" child was legally not due anything from his parents by way of inheritance and would thus be mostly adrift as an adult, forced to make his way in a world even more unfriendly to class mobility than our world today.
The bible was written by men. The Torah is nothing but a reflection of Jewish values and the laws required of a people who were nomadic and without a home. The Torah (badly translated) is the source of your quote and the new Testament was assembled by the Catholic church 400 years after the death of Christ.
I've read every bit of the bible. Remember the part where a guy who takes a girls virginity owes the father money? Did you pay/do you intend to pay a dowry to the father of the woman you want as your wife? If not, that's a sin. According to the same book you just quoted.
Of course, dowry doesn't exist any more. That means that, well, every married couple in the US has a sin they have not repented for and are going to hell. Cause that's how it works, according to your stupid little book.
Unless you want to say the old testament wipes all that out, in which case that includes your passage about pre-marital sex.
I was raised Catholic, by the way. I know ALL about the bible. I was in bible study until I was 15 when I realized that pretty much every single vocal Christian I've ever met was a hypocrite about something they preached and realized that if there is a God he is entirely absent from modern religion.
Why else would Ted HaggarD condemn gay sex while having it, or Catholic priests take sexual advantage of parishioners they were supposed to be helping?
Oh, that's right, because your god is bullshit, a creation of imagination meant to enslave the uneducated to a set of principles dictated by an entity (religion) concerned only with power and the keeping of it.
You are a sheep. The bible even says so! You need not have any opinions or questions. Doubts are a fault! You are meant to be led by your nose into whatever eventualities those who tell you what to think and how to think it decide you should be led into.
I'm sorry you are so invested in beliefs designed to enslave your mind and will. I'm sorry you cannot accept the utter lack of divinity present in the often self contradicting bible. I'm sorry you are not intelligent enough to make an argument other than "Read something someone else wrote! See!"
You only have people's word that God answered the question himself (through people).
Haven't you figured out yet that people lie?
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I dont know what to do. Im only 14 and ive been in a relationship with this boy for a year, on and off now, and he's been talking about us having a child. Ive been really thinking about this and I really feel like Im ready for something like this. I know its not exactly a walk in the park bringing up a child and that it isnt something i can just forget about if i get fed up of the responsibilities. I do want to have a child with him now but honestly im not sure if I should. I saw what you said to some girls question and just thought youd be able to help. Please reply, Im not sure who else to ask.
Thanks:) x (link)
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You have no conception at 14 what adult life is like or how to handle it, cope with it, thrive in it.
You will not be prepared to really be a mother to a child until you have been on your own as an adult providing for yourself for a few years. Until you are at that point you really do not have enough to offer your child to justify having one.
I can't explain this so that you'll really understand. You're 14, you don't know what responsibility really is like. The day in, day out struggle to provide for yourself. Without having done it yourself, you won't be able to teach a child how to do it herself.
Further, kids are shaped by even the mannerisms of their parents. You're not an adult, how do you expect to behave like one for your child so they grow up with that as an example? Most people finish maturing around 25, you're a decade short of becoming the person you'll actually be for the rest of your life and you think you can teach kids how to be themselves when you don't know who you are yet?
You feel like you're ready for something like this because you really, truly, have no idea what "something like this" entails. You see the abstract ideas without feeling the reality.
Wait a decade. Seriously. Wait until you're married or something. Wait until you are in a relationship with an adult who you know you can depend on to be there with you and for you, with your kid and for your kid.
Do you think this boy you're in an on and off relationship with is ready to be a father? Of course he isn't, he's young enough to date a 14 year old. Don't you think your kid will want two loving parents, not one and a guy who wishes he hadn't been young and stupid with someone else just as young and stupid?
Go watch 16 and pregnant. The show will give you most of what you need to know. Yeah, it's possible to make it. No, there isn't a respectable teen mother on the face of the planet who doesn't wish she'd been smarter and waited to have her kid.
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Hi.I just want to ask you a question as regards the ''sex before marriage'' thing.Where in the Bible is it forbidden?Who defined fornication as being sexual intercourse before tying(tieing) the marriage ''knot''? And..if one can not wait,then he should marry,according to what Paul said in Corinthians.Ok.But..what if one can not marry at the moment because his parents think he has to get married at 30?or even later?So...does that mean that he has to 'burn'' until the time his parents or other people deem ''right'' for him to get married?If i'm not commanded to ''burn'',why should i?And...masturbation.Is it natural?I have masturbated too,and i,by GOD'S GRACE,have tried to stop it,not doing it now.But,what is the way out?If GOD created human beings and made sexual desire part of the physiology of both married and unmarried people.When married people have the desire for sex,they just do it.When unmarried people(because of certain circumstances) have the desire for the same..what should they do?why does one principle apply to a group of people and does not apply to the other?Where in the BIBLE does that come into play? (link)
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When the bible was written, a woman not married by 18 was unusual, and 14 was common. By the time sexual urges became a reality marriage was an option, and fairly normal. You were a man or a woman before your teenage years were done.
Have you ever heard of the Council of Nicea? You should look into it, it involves the bibles creation, including the church's debate over which of the many testaments written would actually be included in the bible.
I mean, the old Testament is basically the Torah. Christianity is built on three things, Judaism, the life of Christ, and Paganism.
Yep. Paganism. Why do you think the Jewish Sabbath turned into "Sunday"? Because pagans were sun worshipers, and Sunday was the day of the week on which they engaged in worship. In order to adopt pagans into Christianity, they altered ritual a bit to make it more familiar to the converted.
I don't know if there's a God or not. I am entirely sure that if he, she, it, or they exist none of the possibilities are described by Christianity, past or present. The God you know is a reflection of humankind, with all of our great and terrible attributes on display, often cherry picked to suit the individual worshipers. If you are angry, so is God. If you are kind, so is God. If you are arrogant, so is God. That's how it's always worked.
The point of all of this is that the rules you follow make no sense. You are looking to find order in chaos, in a series of often conflicting beliefs about what we are and what we are supposed to be which were determined by the self interest of a church which once held power to make nations quake in fear.
The bible was written as a weapon against the uneducated. You are not uneducated, thus you have questions. The truth is that the only way to find them in the bible is to read it until you find a passage which makes you feel better about your situation, and then ignore most of the rest of the book.
Or, as danger nerd pointed out, to google until you find someone else who already did it for you, removing all need for critical analysis altogether.
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I am a 15 year old girl and I go to a strict Catholic school. I have caught myself "admiring" girl's bodies more than guy's bodies (especially when I go to my gym). I also had a bit of a fantasy where I kissed one of my female friends.... What does this mean? I have never dated anyone, not even guys, so does that affect it?? I know that some people say to experiment by dating a girl, but I am way to shy for that... I have no idea if this is just a phase or what. Any ideas?? (link)
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It means you are not attracted solely to guys.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kinsey_scale
I'm a 2, you'll probably have what you are nailed down in a few years.
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If my sisters grandkids doing wrong is it okay for my other sister to get after them. (link)
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Yes, it is.
Technically this is your job, or your mother's job, but at least someone's doing what needs to be done. Just because the kids aren't raised to respect anything doesn't mean you have to tolerate their disrespect.
I kind of disagree with Rahzie. I subscribe to the "it takes a village" school of thought, and raising kids to be functional members of society who respect others is in everyone's best interest. I see nothing wrong with interfering with the lessons of obviously terrible parents/grandparents.
Assholes become everyone's responsibility. Anything you do to prevent members of your family from becoming just that is a good thing and probably a public service.
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I am going for my gyno visit this week. I'm a bit nervous about some things. I am 19 years old and am sexually active. My mother does not know this.... and would kill me if she knew. The only reason I am going is because I have a persistent yeast infection. Anyway they said I need to come in a half hour early to fill out paper work. Are they going to ask me about my sexual history in the paper work, because my mom will be with me and I can't write that down with her next to me....What should I do? And when they call me into the room will they make my mom leave if she follows me there? I want to be honest with the doctor I just can't let my mom know....
(link)
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Really?
You're 19. Act like it. Go alone or tell your mother you want her in the waiting room.
You really shouldn't be thinking "my mother will kill me!" at 19. You should be thinking "my sex life is my business and I'm not going to listen to any berating about it" and stop making things her business by being afraid of her reactions.
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i am 13 and i love myself, but honestly...HOW CAN I LOOK LIKE A VICTORIA'S SECRET MODEL?
i do crunches and run all the time, i'm very athletic and healthy but i have big hips and muscly thighs. i just want to shape my legs a little differently and tone my stomach more. any ideas/tips? thanks! (link)
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Find someone who kicks ass with Adobe Photoshop, every single picture in the catalog is extensively retouched.
:Edit:
I can't believe someone beat me to the photoshop joke.
NERD!
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Hi,
I'm 20/F/Missouri.
I just recently worked up the courage to visit an Air Force recruiter because I've felt the desire to serve my country for a long time, but never had the courage to do so.
I've been looking into the Air Force for quite some time now, and I have a few questions that I've discussed with my recruiter, but of course, being my recruiter, she will tell me what I want to hear in order to get me to join.
I want to know, from those of you who have experienced it.
1. Which education plan is better for those individuals who are interested in pursuing a different career, aside from the Air Force?
There is the TAP program, where you study your career on your off duty time, while serving active duty.
And then, there is the MGIBill, where you continue your education after serving so many years, active duty.
2. For those of you who are, or know someone who is an EOD (Explosives Ordinance Disposal): What does the job entail on a daily basis?
3. Dislikes, or dissatisfied moments of Air Force life?
I'm going to serve my country, no matter what. I just need to better prepare myself for some things I'm not sure of.
Thank you.
(link)
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One of my closest friends is a Navy vet.
A girl we worked with was thinking about signing up for the Navy herself and asked him what he thought about signing up and what life would be like in the military.
He thought about it for a second, seeming to chew over his response to come up with the most concise response he could to her question.
So he looked at her and asked "Do you like being raped?"
She stared at him for a second and then burst out with "What the fuck?!" and he looked her in the eye and said "If you're in the armed forces in any branch and female there's a 5/6 chance you will be sexually assaulted more than once before you are discharged"
He's never read a study on anything in his life. That was just his estimate from personal experience.
The other piece of advice he would give you is to be aware that your recruiter has already lied to you. They can tell you anything they want, but few of their promises mean anything once you have signed up and given your oath. They own you at that point, literally, you have no rights while you're in.
At least, that's as enlisted. You really want to go to college? Go get a bachelors degree with college loans and then go into the military with officers training and you'll still erase your debt without signing up to be allocated to whatever bottom of the rung post full of horny violence prone emotionally unstable teenagers they decide to send you to.
Donald says that would lower your chances to somewhere betwen 1/2 and 2/3.
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I've posted this on advicenators but to be honest you're one of the only ones that I noticed who actually gives thoughtful, consistent advice which is something I really need right now...
19/f I started dating my current boyfriend in February. He is a really amazing guy. Hes sweet, caring, loving, sincere, and genuinely a good person. And he adored me. We didn't have one fight for the first 3 or 4 months, I guess you can call it the "honeymoon phase". We fell in love because we fit together so well we are perfect for each other personality wise. But three months ago he hurt his back pretty badly and there's nothing doctors can do about it unless he gets surgery to fix it. But that's the last thing he wants/needs because once you get surgery you're f***ed for life. At first I was unaware of the extent to which his pain was affecting his life. Needless to say things are not going as great for him as they were when we first met. He's always in pain now, among other things going wrong.
The one thing about him that I know and the only thing I don't like is the fact that he gets angry very easily, all the time, for no reason. He told me he's always been that way. Not angry at me, just at situations and life. I try to help him with it but nothing I say now seems to have an effect on him. He's always in a bad mood, or when I try to talk to him/kiss him, most of the time he just looks at me and doesn't respond. Sometimes he even looks annoyed. We pretty much live together because we're always at each others houses, we always want to be together. But recently it's become sort of taxing for me. I come home from being with him and find that I'm in a bad mood. I'm fighting with my parents a lot and I'm just not happy. And the sad part is that I am a huge believer in happiness and I always preach how important it is to be happy. I just get so upset when I see him so mad and we're spending time together but hes in a bad mood. We used to get along great and have a great time and now its basically me always trying to cheer him up. We'll have moments here and there when he forgets he's upset, and we don't really fight, but he's always mad and I'm always sad because of it. So I've been trying to talk to him about it and explain how I feel and he keeps telling me that his anger problem has gotten 100 times worse because he's literally always in shooting sharp pain from his back. Therapy helps him a little but he says it comes right back. I just don't know what to do anymore, I try to do nice things for him and kiss him and give him love and care but nothing works. A few times after we've come back from a night of drinking and he's like that, I get emotional and I've cried to him pretty bad a few times and I hate crying it makes me feel vulnerable and weak. It's because of the alcohol that I cry, but it's because of his mood and the way he acts that I get sad. Now he has it in his head that we can't drink together anymore because when we drink we fight and I get emotional and its not me. I tried really hard last night to explain that its still how I feel, just the alcohol makes me more vocal about it. And the only reason I get emotional now is because I'm truly upset at how he is. He wouldn't even hear it. He told me to talk to him when I was sober. Which I know, is what I have to do now. I really need some advice on what to say though, because now I have the feeling that he sees me as an emotional wreck. I get the feeling that he thinks of me differently, before he used to adore me and he pretty much had me on a pedestal. Calling me perfect all the time, actually believing I was, and I'm not expecting that now at all I actually didn't like that but now I feel like what he saw in me in the beginning is gone. I just don't know what to do or say to him to fix this problem in our relationship. It's not like he can get rid of his pain or anger, he can't help it, but it seriously makes me depressed and I feel like the more I try to talk to him about it the more I ruin our relationship by putting strain on him making him feel even worse that I'm not happy with him. Help? (link)
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Wow.
Ok. So I wrote up this entire long thoughtful response about working out communications problems and trying to keep things calm and respectful and fostering empathy with your significant other during conversation so that even if your words are clumsy they're receptive to the emotional messages you send them.
Then I deleted it all, because in truth I don't think you should stay with him.
It's cold. I won't deny it. I can be a pretty cold person. But you've known him for four months. And your problem isn't about fixing your relationship.
Your problem is him. It sucks. Whether he was being stupid or had an accident or got hit by a car while he was standing and looking in a direction other than the one the car was coming from, permanent injury is a shitty hand to be dealt by life.
He's 19. He isn't equipped to cope with this. You think three months is bad? Wait till it's been three years. Ten years. His entire adult life will be defined by his pain. There's no therapy for that. There's disability and drugs to take the pain away as often as possible, and there's keeping yourself as occupied as you're physically able to attain the same goal.
My wife got rear ended last year. Soft tissue damage only, nothing requiring surgery or anything other than time and a little physical therapy and some minor pain medication to fix.
She was a nightmare. Honestly. What got us through it was knowing there was a light at the end of the tunnel, and her recognizing how bad she was, how ugly she could be to me and how often she blamed me for things just to give her an excuse to vent her anger for being in pain.
There's no light at the end of the tunnel for you. There's no end of the tunnel. He will require surgery at some point, and that will only increase his pain. Even if he's capable of being functional in society on medication, his life will still be defined by his pain.
And so will yours.
Four months in to a relationship at 19 is not a good foundation to make the kind of commitment that you make by staying with him.
I say leave now because, honestly, I think you'll leave eventually. He's not going to be a full adult for years. If you stay with him throughout that period hoping he becomes an adult you might be disappointed and even if you aren't your relationship will almost certainly not survive.
You can't fix him, and that's the only way to fix your relationship. Even if he wants to fix it, the kind of pain we're talking about here doesn't exactly let you remain calm and rational as often as is necessary to be in a healthy relationship.
Not at 19, with a 19 year old's life experience, and a 19 year old's shattered dreams of invincibility. Teenagers are unstoppable until something stops them and they realize they have to learn to cope with the world in real time.
He got stopped harder than most. That fact is not your fault.
If you want to talk to him it really comes down to keeping him calm and getting him to listen. Apologize in advance for clumsy wording and ask him to be patient with you as you try to put some strong emotions into words so he can understand what you're going through and you can try to find some common ground. Tell him you need changes to be made for your own sanity.
Just don't be surprised when he tries and fails (repeatedly) and you go through a cycle of good and bad days that makes most roller-coasters look tame.
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hi, why does a boyfriend of one and half years asks whether he can ejaculate in me or not and also most of the times he says he wants to come in me. he knows that i want to have a baby. we're just not fully stable financely but he says we'll see whatever happens. we love each other a lot. we're in our early 30's. my question is he wanting to make me feel better or does he really want to or is he just being a guy because it feels good to ejaculate in a girl? thanks everyone. (link)
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I'd be willing to bet that if he asked you if he could that he's asking because he wants to and would enjoy it, rather than because it might make you happy.
As to the "having kids" part, no idea, but if you're actively risking having kids maybe you need to have alot more conversations with him on the subject. Maybe he likes the idea of having a baby with you, maybe he just likes the idea of the sexual act of climaxing inside you, maybe he just wants to be able to not wear a condom or pull our or anything else, which just generally ends up feeling better.
All you have to do to find out is bring it up with him.
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I don't have sex very often, and it's always been with the same guy but whenever we do he always says I always get very wet very quickly, it must be more so than average because he has had a lot more experience than me and he doesn't know why it happens to me or whatever.
Also, I tend to not eat much, I snack on kitkats and things like that but usually only have 1 real meal every 2 days, I drink alot to make up for that though, could that be why? and is there anyway to make everything work...normally? thanks
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Yeah, it's pretty normal. Not a bad thing, either. He probably likes it, unlike guys girls don't have hugely obvious giveaways that let people know if they're horny from a distance. Being wet allows your guy to see how aroused you are, it's not exactly a bad realization to have.
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why would you vote for a women president? (link)
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Because she was green party :sadface:
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My boyfriend and I have been dating for about 4 years and just recently started living together, despite our young age (I'm 19 and he's 20). My question might sound kind of silly... but do guys ever get tired of a girl's body? I mean, we have sex 3 or 4 times a week, but most nights I sleep without a shirt on... which needless to say he loves, but do you think that after a while he would stop getting turned on by me? Or is this something that many couples do? I feel like I am maybe too liberal with my body... generally speaking, do guys prefer girls to be more liberal or do they find modesty a turn-on when it comes to sex? Thanks for your advice! (link)
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It's all about attitude. My wife and I do not wear clothes in our bedroom. We can be hanging out watching a movie and cuddled up naked and have nothing sexual about it until she turns around and kisses me in an inviting way.
The novelty of nudity wears off a bit, but then it just becomes about being in the mood. If you are, it's still hot. If you aren't, it doesn't have to be. It's comfortable. Comfortable is nice in it's own way. It's a nice break from hot when you're both tired.
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me and this guy kinda have a thing and he wants to have sex but i dont know if im ready yet...im sixteen and he is eighteen and he has had sex multiple times and im scared he might have an STD or something. he has asked me if im still a virgin and i said no because i didnt want him to think i wasnt cool or anything. was it a bad thing that i lied to him about that? and should i tell him the truth? im also scared because this will be my first time and i dont know how it feels, i dont wanna bleed because i think that would be embarassing, and i dont wanna scream because if it hurts too much! and some of my friends say save sex till marriage because you can never get your viginity back..what should i do? (link)
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I'm going to modify the below answer from Shelby to be, "You're not ready, don't have sex yet."
It seems like this decision was prompted entirely by "this guy I like who likes me wants to have sex with me". Let me tell you straight up, as a guy, there's always some small part of our brain dedicated to the possibility of having sex right now. Teenaged guys are wired to be horny all the time. It sucked for me, it sucks for him now, and it really isn't your problem to deal with.
Be in a relationship. Spend four or five months exclusively dating someone. Get to know someone, fall in love, have them fall in love back. Then, when it's time, you won't be worried about being embarassed you'll just be happy you get to share yourself with someone you care about.
Sex can be alot of things to alot of different people, but at the beginning it really should be about loving someone and wanting to be with them. That really doesn't seem to be the case here. It sounds like you're scared and maybe a little horny and so you're going to go ahead before you're ready because you like this guy and you don't want him to go looking somewhere else or something.
You're 16. There's not a goddamn reason in the world to do this on someone else's timetable. There's nothing to lose here if you don't that you'll miss in 6 months (him included).
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