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Serious questions about sex inside and outside of marriage according to the Bible.
Hi.I just want to ask you a question as regards the ''sex before marriage'' thing.Where in the Bible is it forbidden?Who defined fornication as being sexual intercourse before tying(tieing) the marriage ''knot''? And..if one can not wait,then he should marry,according to what Paul said in Corinthians.Ok.But..what if one can not marry at the moment because his parents think he has to get married at 30?or even later?So...does that mean that he has to 'burn'' until the time his parents or other people deem ''right'' for him to get married?If i'm not commanded to ''burn'',why should i?And...masturbation.Is it natural?I have masturbated too,and i,by GOD'S GRACE,have tried to stop it,not doing it now.But,what is the way out?If GOD created human beings and made sexual desire part of the physiology of both married and unmarried people.When married people have the desire for sex,they just do it.When unmarried people(because of certain circumstances) have the desire for the same..what should they do?why does one principle apply to a group of people and does not apply to the other?Where in the BIBLE does that come into play?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Well If you are 21 or older i think it is fine. 19 Is even fine with me. But Your parents have no say in this. Its YOUR life. Well, I hope that helped.
~Ashlyn(:~
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whoa whoa whoa, calm down, killer. as far as I'm tracking The Old Testament lays down the dirt on fornication, along with several other subjects, including the proper capture and nationality of slaves. I think my favorite part was the satire about sodom and gomorrah in which a crowd of dudes shows up at the main character's house and demand that he hand over the angelic guest he is harboring so they can rape him. not wanting to let his guest get poop-chuted by a mob, he compromises by handing over his 13 year old daughter for their gangraping festival. I use this to illustrate a point- yeah, the bible says its wrong to nail your girlfriend without throwing a ring into the mix, but it also says I am allowed to keep slaves as long as they are of a different nationality(hence, my canadian manservant). The Bible is a great book full of valuable lessons and guidelines on living a good and happy life. is living so strict and narrow-minded producing the good and happy life that the author of The Bible seeks for his people? The one lesson that I have taken from the many religous texts from the many religons I have encountered, is the golden rule- treat others as you wish to be treated. and so, I leave you with this- Live a full and happy life, and once you meet a woman you love, do whatever the two of you decide is prudent, including premarital sex, or getting married before your parents say it is okay, because half the fun of life is defying their social norms. This is your one shot at life, buddy. grab a bungee cord, get a running start, and flip the bird to all of the people who tell you you can't.
good luck
-Gunner
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I went to my best friend for the answer to your question he is a pastor... here is what he had to say....
First of all, the word fornication it self means sex before marriage. It wasn't the design of the early church just to stifle your desires. It seems as if you are looking for an escape clause to free you from sin. If you want to believe the tennants of the Bible then you have to believe all of its precepts. Jesus said to even look on a woman to lust after her you have already commited adultery in your heart. The Apostle Paul wrote that No fornicators or adulterers will have any place in the Kingdom of God. These are not conepts that are up for interpretation. you have clearly already decided you want sex and now you want God to give you a free pass. It isn't the way. You even went as far to say that it isn't fair that married people can have sex when they want to. Well that my friend is a poor example because God joins husband and wife together. Finally yes the Bible does say it is better to marry than to burn. But if you get married just to have sex it will undboubtedly end in divorce. Seek God for what you are needing and stop looking for loopholes I have listed just a few scriptures on fornication and adultery. You will see there is no gray area
Matthew 15:19, 1 Corinthians 6:18, 1 Corinthians 6:9-10, 1 Corinthians 5:9-11, Revelation 17:1-5. (adultery scriptures) Exodus 20:14, Matthew 5:28, Galatians 5:19,
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When the bible was written, a woman not married by 18 was unusual, and 14 was common. By the time sexual urges became a reality marriage was an option, and fairly normal. You were a man or a woman before your teenage years were done.
Have you ever heard of the Council of Nicea? You should look into it, it involves the bibles creation, including the church's debate over which of the many testaments written would actually be included in the bible.
I mean, the old Testament is basically the Torah. Christianity is built on three things, Judaism, the life of Christ, and Paganism.
Yep. Paganism. Why do you think the Jewish Sabbath turned into "Sunday"? Because pagans were sun worshipers, and Sunday was the day of the week on which they engaged in worship. In order to adopt pagans into Christianity, they altered ritual a bit to make it more familiar to the converted.
I don't know if there's a God or not. I am entirely sure that if he, she, it, or they exist none of the possibilities are described by Christianity, past or present. The God you know is a reflection of humankind, with all of our great and terrible attributes on display, often cherry picked to suit the individual worshipers. If you are angry, so is God. If you are kind, so is God. If you are arrogant, so is God. That's how it's always worked.
The point of all of this is that the rules you follow make no sense. You are looking to find order in chaos, in a series of often conflicting beliefs about what we are and what we are supposed to be which were determined by the self interest of a church which once held power to make nations quake in fear.
The bible was written as a weapon against the uneducated. You are not uneducated, thus you have questions. The truth is that the only way to find them in the bible is to read it until you find a passage which makes you feel better about your situation, and then ignore most of the rest of the book.
Or, as danger nerd pointed out, to google until you find someone else who already did it for you, removing all need for critical analysis altogether.
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Well, you asked specifically about biblical views on the subject, and as such I would like to send you a link to a page that covers the majority of what you have asked here:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
There are a great many things written about this, and the information isn't hard to find if you would like to do some research of your own.
As for your parents... Well, I would question them in such a way: If Mary gave birth to Christ at 14-15 years old... then why do they expect you to be 30?
As for the simplest "why" of waiting for marriage: Simple enough: when you have sex with random people you aren't spending your life with, you collect diseases and emotional baggage that, to a greater or lesser extent, poisons every relationship you have from that point forward.
Everyone who has had more than one sexual relationship can attest to the fact that there is regret in some way. Sometimes physical regret, sometimes emotional regret, but you are ALWAYS less able to give ALL of yourself to someone new.
You leave something important behind in every relationship. You have enough of them, and the person you eventually want to be with forever... well, they would have to be stupid to accept someone who has collected as much baggage as you have.
So, let us just say they do accept you, and you get married. The regret of your past will wear on you, and the knowledge that your mate settled for you, having been used by so many others, when they could have had someone all to themselves... no diseases, and no baggage... well, that will wear on them as well.
Now as for masturbation... I don't know of any place in the Bible that it is specifically spoken against. There is a verse that is often taken out of context to support the idea that all masturbation is a sin, but the real deal there is that God commanded someone to bear children with a woman, and when he was about to complete that order, he pulled out and spilled his seed on the ground instead.
The sin here wasn't spilling the seed, it was disobeying a DIRECT order from God himself.
I don't think anyone is truly stupid enough to think that is about masturbation. In my opinion, they know full well it doesn't apply, and use it anyway to support a view they can't back with any other scripture.
So, here is the bottom line:
From what you have written, it looks like you are trying not to masturbate, but looking for biblical justification to have sex with people you aren't married to.
Here is my suggestion: Think.
How many diseases will you collect while masturbating?
How much emotional baggage will you collect?
How many times, and in how many ways will your heart be broken by people you mate with if you are home pleasuring yourself?
How many hearts will YOU break, when you have sex with someone who is more serious than you are... if you are home masturbating?
How many random children will you be responsible for creating if you are home taking care of things yourself instead of out screwing random people?
So... when I put it all out there like that, which makes more sense:
Relieving the tension yourself?
... or collecting diseases, emotional baggage, broken hearts, infertility (from the diseases) and random children (or the responsibility for random abortions?)
You answer which one of these things that you think would be the worse one to do, both for your health and the health of others.
Which one is more likely to damage your future relationship?
The important thing to remember in all of this is that God doesn't hate you and want you to be miserable. Anyone who teaches something that leads you to believe that needs to have their teachings carefully examined.
If you have other questions, I will do my best to answer.
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I'm not actually very religious, so I have no actual quotes etc instead I'm going to give you my own advice:
The bible was written many many maaany years ago, and much of what it states is supporting of social constructions at the time, in today's age it's better to take what's in the bible with a pinch of salt.
Masturbation is also entirely natural and fine, it is just a part of human nature and there is no shame in doing it, equally like sex before marriage. looking at it from a scientific point of view (bear with me): Swans mate for life, and ideally people believe humans should too, that means the first "mate" should be the only one, with exception to early death, However, we are not birds. It is evolutionary stronger to mate at a younger age in theory, it increases the chance of human survival, but now with the largest life span recorded in history its accepted that people should initially wait until they are at the very least in their late teens, and as another social construction, protection should always be used as society looks down on you teenage mothers.
Again, the Bible was written when women were expected to be producing children by the time they were 15 if that, so the wait wasn't long between reaching sexual maturity and actually finding a wife as opposed to now where by 12/13 teenagers begin to develop sexually and usually won't be married until their late 20's early 30's.
Do what makes yourself happy, be careful and respectful to every one and god can't possibly have a problem, after all Adam and Eve were never claimed to be married and they created a whole race haha (presumably). I hope that helped (and do remember if you decide to do anything to use protection and be safe!)
x
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