Website:
Venomous EnterprisesGender:
FemaleOccupation:
Recording ArtistYahoo:
Sophia_pettus@yahoo.com or Venomous_VenomMember Since:
May 16, 2008Answers:
309Last Update:
August 1, 2011Visitors:
27028Main Categories:
Spirituality
Love Life
Mental health
View All
about
I was on this site before recording my first single. I will stay a member of this site. I am asking that each of you support me by visiting my webpage. I have posted music that I have written and recorded. Check out Wildside featuring Father Jah, and I want, created in memory of 2Pac.http://www.reverbnation.com/Venomtheonly1
I am open, honest, truthful yet also insightful and understanding. I am a Strong woman with morals, belief, and character. I value life, myself and life of everything, everyone and all. I am mature, caring, giving, straight up and real!
I am not harsh, rude, or disrespectful but I am going to tell you the truth because you are asking for that. If you want a lie or support that you know is invalid because you question it yourself, please don't get mad at me for the truth because that is what sets us ALL free!! Peace, Venom
advice
okay so there's this boy john and he's sooooooo cute. me and him just met recently threw my friend marie. we talk daily. and txt. throughout the night. here's the thing, marie and john had a thing sorta until I told him marie hooks up with a guy every party. then after I told him this he automaticully started not liking her. I didn't know he would do that but its not like he doesnt hookup with girls all the time, my other friend Lynn jokes to john tat he has a chode, and she says oh did you and your tiny friend get lucky and said yeahhhhh these girls at the party were so horny. well anyways he's a veryyyyyyy good sweettalker and flirts with me non stop. he says he likes me and is SO glad he met me. is he for real? or a huge fake?
TRUTH HURTS but it's true. it is only an opinion. I have seen his type before which is why I have said what I have said...
He is a huge fake and honestly if you are feeling him knowing that he was dealing with your friend Marie, that makes you just as fake as he is.
I don't understand how friends would even have an interest in a guy that their friend likes, or even used to like for that matter. It's not fair to her or yourself. If he is talking smack to you knowing that Marie and you are friends, then he is going to talk to one of your friends too and the cycle goes on and on..
I question your friendship with Marie. 1. because you have been talking to John. 2. because you threw her under the bus by telling what she did or does -what Marie does is Marie's business and if you know about it or she shares it with you, it isn't for you to use to your advantage by spitting it to John, and I think you are very wrong for that. Also, you don't know if he hooks up with girls all the time or not - maybe he just doesn't do it that you know of, but unless you are with someone 24/7 you never know what they do, remember that.
I am sure he is a verrrrrry good sweet talker - he has learned this by talking.. most people who talk the talk, can't and don't walk it.
Be wise and on top of the game because that's what it is, Game.
My friends and I are 17. I'll be 18 soon. One of my friend's bf is 21. I always thought that was a little strange until one night him and a couple of his friends came over and they were all so nice. I can really see why she'd go for an older guy because they are so much more mature and interesting to talk to.
Anyways, me and one of his friends who is also 21 hit it off. He was really flirty and really nice. Everyone says hes a nice guy too. We've been talking and he wants to hang out and stuff.
When I was with those guys I felt like we were all the same age. I mean as the saying goes, age doesnt matter. Most of my friends think its great but a couple are like WHAT ARE YOU DOING? Idk I feel like as long as he doesn't make me feel uncomfortable it shouldn't matter... is there anything wrong with a fling with someone a few years older?
Thanks so much!
Girls mature faster than boys, which means that women are usually more mature than men - being attracted to an older man is not an issue. Also, having the ability to communicate with him and feel comfortable is great. You are about to be 18, and there is NOTHING wrong with seeing a 21 year old.
If you still live with your parents and he will be visiting their house, please give them the respect of letting them know that you are seeing someone older and make sure they are cool with it, since it is their house. Always respect your parent's house, regardless.
The couple of friends who are like WHAT ARE YOU DOING, are not on the same level as you and most likely aren't going to understand your reasoning of seeing an older man - which is cool, this is your business, your life, and your happiness, not theirs. Unless they have supportive reasoning of asking your reasoning, beyond his age - I would pay them no attention. Hell, it could be jealousy, especially if the person they are dating or seeing is immature or doesn't exist!
A 3 year age difference isn't that big of a deal, seriously dear heart.
Have fun, be safe and enjoy life!
I find myself constantly trying to be happy instead of just being happy. Everytime I do feel a sense of happiness and accomplishment, I let the following small bad thing bring me down.
Apparently, I'm not clinically depressed, or bipolar (I checked), so I'm just wondering, are there tips to meditate or let go, or just exercises to basically help me feel as confident as I was as a younger person?
Seriously, I'm open to anything at this point.
I went through the same thing as a teenager and an adult. Honestly, I go through it about every 5 years. I am not bi-polar or clinically depressed either. The term is called maturity. It's time to set futuristic goals, and accomplish them in yearly intervals. You make mention of accomplishment - happiness is maintained in measurement as is achievement. To have the ability of looking back on something you set as a goal, and reach it, feels great. Create a journal, listing the things that you want to obtain, receive, or accomplish within one year - as you do it, cross it out and go the next goal or plan. Whenever you begin questioning self of feel like you are self-challenging yourself (which nurtures temporary happiness only and not complete consistent happiness), pick up that journal and remember the things you have done. I will share the things that really helped me and still help me.
I believe in self-improving web sites and books. I believe in attending motivational seminars. I have been blessed of having the opportunity of working with people in my church to encourage happiness, and self worth with them - self love, self worth, knowledge of self is also a key to happiness.
I also have an interest in Yoga, in which I always recommend for the spirit, mental and physical aspects of being. It allows peace and serenity to enter inside of your being as a person. Welcome it and go for it. I feels great.
I also recommend lots of reading. I read all of the time. I have found that motivational books of encouragement while listening to relaxing music instead of rap all the time. The type of music listened to has much encouraging and discouraging factors within the lyrics. I am motivated by Jill Scott, Goapele, Erykah Badu, Floetry.. these type of artist are classified as neo-soul. Also watch the type of people you hang around with. They too have specific areas in your life that can help contribute to happiness or unhappiness. I found that out the hard way - they were honestly contributing to a major unbalance in my life - being unbalanced in any realm of your existence makes you unsure of how you feel (mad, sad, happy, unhappy, appreciative, unappreciative - you get the point of what I am saying)
So, there ya go my sweet, I hope this helps and congrads on choosing to have consistent happiness instead of temporary, some timey happiness!
sophia_pettus@yahoo.com
Hi, I'm a girl, why do I have like, white head bumps on my nipples?
It's hormonal - it happens in teenagers who are blossoming into womanhood. It also occurs during menustration, as well as pregnant women who also undergo different hormonal changes.
It is nothing to be alarmed about. I do understand your concern. I have included a site to check out as you have time so that you may read about it. Try to get an appointment with a dermatologist so that you are prescribed medication for acne treatment and being that it is in the breat area, you don't want to buy anything over the counter which could be too harsh for your skin, so seek medical advice first.
about.womenshealth.about.com/cs/acne/a/acnecausymtreat.htm
I used to go with this guy and i really loved him until i found out he was cheating on me. I broke up with him and now he wants me back. I still sort of love him but barely. I wanna move on but if he is still holding on to me i dont know if i can. I think about him alot ever since he started calling me again. I just wanna move on with my life and hopefully never have to go through this again!!
I do not believe in telling someone to NEVER go back because it only makes that person want to go back.
First of all, dearness - people do change only if THEY want to not because someone made them change. I have expereinced being cheated on time and time again. I also know what those calls an contacts mean after they have messed up. It's a challenge to see if they can get you back, cheat again and most likely be sneakier this time without getting caught. If you do go back to him, you will experience insecurities, and trust issues -always looking out of the corner of your eyes, or needing to know his every move and where about. Eventually you will push him away.
You said you wanna just move on with your life and never hurt again, well, do that - move on with your life and know that you control who hurts you by controlling who you allow to get close to you. Remember that Ms. Lady because I had all kinds of people warning me, telling me, and I already knew what was up with his lying, dogging, cheating tail but I ignored it, thinking he will change for me - NOT.. I tried to take him back and couldn't understand why I kept getting took! make sense? Now, with that being said, time flew by and the more I took him back and allowed him to hurt me, the more he did it and took advatage of me. Don't allow yourself to be taken advantage of or walked on - now, the choice is yours girl.. you know what to do already, I can tell by your question . "smile"
Edited: You may not be smiling now, but it's better than crying later. I promise. you can email me and we can talk about it, so you can smile! sophia_pettus@yahoo.com
i am going to have sex with my boyfriend we both want to but just havent been alone together we bother are definitely not virgins but he hasnt had sex in a whilei have given him head before and his dick is small. i think that is part of the reason he hasnt tried yet anyway to get to my question how can i make sure its good because his dick is small you know....i dont want things to be awkward between us if its bad so how can i make sure its good atleast for him is all im worried bout right now..please help thanksss
I am not sure of your age, however based on the fact that you have posted such of a question, I am feeling that you are too young to even be experimenting in sex period.
Size is irrelevant. Sex is to be shared with 2 responsible adults which reflects in feelings, spirit, soul, heart and emotion and not size.
Also, you should not refer to it as a D, it's a penis and the word D sounds very ignorant and juvenile. This is one reason no one has replied to your question, seriously.
You are concerned about the action being awkward, when you should be concerned about your postings being awkward.
so i dont know if i have it (yeast infection) because i dont have lumps down their i do use a dull razor blade that ill change today! and it itchs one day then stops and doesnt itch for a long long time and today when i used the restroom i did see white stuff but just today never ever before and i believe i think it smells
so yes or no
if i do then is their things i can use at home to make it go away or something i can do to make it stop and does this spread if you have sex?
if no home products then could you name some over the counter ones and not to expensive and for sure will they work? and how long will it take to go away?
did i get it from having unprotected sex, if yes does that mean my bf has or had it to? and hows it feel to a guy if he has it bc it itchs for girls i believe.
thx in advance to everyone eho asks im worried!!!
It could also be a bacteria infection, which is can be spread sexually. None the less, if bacteria OR yeast, please see a doctor so that you will know for sure. Neither one is fun or comfortable. Please visit the website below for more in depth information on the differences of a yeast/bacteria infection.
www.msu.edu/~eisthen/yeast/symptom.html
There is a vaginal screening kit to identify which one it is. If it's a yeast infection, you may purchase something over the counter for this, ask the pharmacist which they advise. If the screening identifies a bacteria infection or STD, you must go to the doctor for a prescription drug - normally flagyl. In the case that it is one of these, your boyfriend will need medication too so that you two don't pass it back and forth to one another. I hope that you use protection to prevent this, as well as a possible pregnancy unless planned and old enough.
Another thing, medicated douches help with the minor irritations only- be sure to read the bottle before purchasing. This doesn't take care of the matter, it just helps a little. PLEASE REFRAIN from sexual activity until you have everything taken care of for your sake and your boyfriend.
Take care dear heart & be safe..
24/m.
Point is, while highly drugged on my meds, I did something really stupid with another girl.
I already apologized to my girlfriend years ago, and she has stayed with me still, but she keeps bringing it up and going on how I have yet to prove my trust now.
I know I did wrong, and I've done everything to make up for it. But seriously, when a man has all but forsaken his family and friends just because she basically wants him to, doesn't that warrant finally letting it go?
I know you all are going to get on my case for doing it in the first place, but I'm asking if I've made up for it (not arguing that I did wrong, I just want to know if I'm just being abused now).
First, you made the decision to do whatever it is that you did - willingly (drugged, drunk or neither). You apologized for your actions and I COMMEND you for this, obviously, she didn't completely forgive you for whatever it was that you did. She partially forgave you and is unable to forget. I went through something like this and to be real it took counseling for me to forgive completely and forget because it was affecting me mentally, physically and spiritually to continue carrying it.
In the course of letting go of the hurt, I had to let go of the relationship for a couple of years because I knew I could forgive but never trust again - I took a good look at the history of the relationship which had been over 17 years and decided that the relationship wasn't worth anything positive to me in my life and I cut it off for 2 years to concentrate on my inner as a whole. It takes time. Time heals all wounds.
There is nothing that one can do to make up for hurt they have caused but to honestly, sincerely and whole heartedly apologize and not do it again is all you can do. Which means that everything you do must reflect change as a person. It isn't abuse, you caused it and didn't think of what the decision would lead to or cause down the road.
In reference to your question in the second paragraph: Letting go b/c you've cut people off - the answer is NO.. it doesn't warrant letting go. Letting go is warranted by the individual based on their own time frame, their own decision based on their strength and when they are ready to let go and let God. Now, did you tell her that you did something stupid or did she have to find out from someone else or on her own? This too plays a huge factor! Once trust is betrayed it takes YEARS to rebuild, it takes counseling,patience, compromise, and dedication.
It also depends on how many times you did this stupid thing - to apologize and do it over and over again causes each ounce of trust gained to be dumped out in pieces, and that hurts too. She is confused, hurt, upset, feels betrayed and most likely blamed herself for your mistake. Ask her if she needs time to heal and be willing to allow this time, should she advise you that she needs it. The abuse part: if you are trying to force her to forget and not hurt based on the fact that you think it's about time, you are being abusive. Not only did she decide to stay with you, you decided to stay with her too.
Unless you have been dogged, betrayed, lied to, hurt to your lowest point, then you're not going to understand what she is going through. Some men leave the woman they have hurt so badly, simply out of respect instead of forcing her to forgive and forget. She can't right now and she never will without self motivation.
My best friend, John, is going out with my other best friend, Michelle. He likes another girl, Stephanie, and he is having trouble choosing between the two. He wants me to give him advice and I don't know what to say because I think I might be in love with him. Like seriously. He already knows I like him, and Michelle also knows. He's told me he likes me back. He even said that if it wasn't for Michelle and Steph, he'd go out with me. I know Michelle loves him so much... I feel really bad, but I can't help it. I can't push my feelings away. I talk to him on the phone all the time and we flirt a lot more than we should. So, what should I tell him, and what should I do about my own feelings? Please and thanks.
WOW...
Lessons of life, dear heart: Do not like your girl's man! check this out: if he is already going out with Michelle, he should have no interest, likes or crushes for Stephanie or anyone else. Let's say he starts going out with you, and likes Stephanie and most likely talks to Michelle behind your back.. are you cool with that? If not then guess what? that's what is going on now, with the exception that he isn't dating you. What should you tell him? Tell him that he is on his way to growing up into a man who hurts women by playing silly games already because he is. Why are you all even talking about going out anyway at 14? It's cool to have friends, and it's cool to hang out but you are still young, enjoy life! In reference to his situation: DO NOT INCLUDE yourself. He is already claiming to be interested in your best friend(s), what do you mean he likes you, girl he likes EVERYBODY! Advise him to make a decision between the two of them because he can not date both OR continue talking BS to you. Seriously: If you were really a true friend, you wouldn't entertain the conversations that you are having with him. I am willing to bet that you don't to him in front of your friend(s), the way you talk to him behind their backs... if this is the case, this makes you two faced, so change it now so that as you grow older, you will value friendship more, and relationships more, which means you won't accept less than you deserve.. jump it off now so you will be prepared later. I wish that all of you would stop talking to him for real to let him know that he doesn't have it like that. Who is he to decide on which one of you he should be talking to, since he's being given the decision he's going to talk to all 3 of you like he's been doing?! If it's all about friendship only then cool, but if it's about dating - please.. all 3 of you girls are contributing and saying it's cool to be played by a Jr. playa in the making..
Have fun, don't get serious or take anything serious right now..he doesn't know which one he wants to date or talk to because he prefers all 3.. just keeping it real with you so you know what's up...
im going to a party with drinking then to a thing with my family and friends after, if i get drunk what do i do to make it any better or my hangover the next day better?
Catch it before you get a hangover! Take 2 Aleve before you drink.. and before you go to bed, regardless of how you may be feeling, take some pepto bismol... have fun, be careful and most importantly be safe..
Well I'm going out with this girl an by the way I'm jennifers bro 18/m she says this works...an ma girl is kinda wierd I think she might be cheating on me how do u tell
http://www.catchyourcheatingspouse.com/cheating_girlfriend.html
First I would suggest reviewing this site for signs. I noticed that you have indicated that your girlfriend is kind of weird- I am not sure of what kind of weird means so I can't really go into detail about it. I have been cheated on and I noticed things like changes in communications. Changes in attitude, changes in interest of me period, willingness to go to the store and stay for ever, changes in cell phone ringing to cell phone on silent mode, changes in people he associated with -all of a sudden there were new friends, I noticed phone numbers in his pockets, claiming they were male friends (I called and they weren't).I also observed the fact of whispering all of the time when talking to his friends - it was also boys with the boys, girls with the girls - and there was also whispering on the phone and constant texting!
The fact that you are questioning the possibility of cheating, really concerns me and makes me feel that something has changed and that something is going on to catch your attention. Don't accuse her just yet... sit back watch, listen, and wait.. it all comes out, trust me.
Now, mentally my friend, be prepared to accept the possibility that she could be, but spiritually be prepared to move on with your life and not blame yourself b/c it will cause you to become bitter with inability to trust or love completely again. As a matter of fact, it also causes you to become a worry wart, or a watch dog and that destroys your relationship too... why do you think she is cheating on you? email me and tell me. sophia_pettus@yahoo.com
extremely pathetic but also extremely annoying! There is 9 on us in our group at school, and lately i feel as though know one could really care less wether i was there or not half the time i am just tagging along trying to include myself in the conversation. No one shares there 'gossip' with me or makes conversation with me. I feel like a total outcast it can be embarassing aswell when people are looking at me its like haha she hasnt got anyone to talk to what a loser, our 'group' is quit popular aswell which is annoying. My so caleld best friend dosnt even talk ro me very much anymore is like they all moved on or something they are never themselfs and are always so obsessive other boys and really in love with themself. Shes always mixing with everyone aswell everyone else has a close friend but she is so close to everyone which makes me jelous i wish i could be close to everyone and they would tell me anything but know it always has to be her the centre o attention 24/7!!!!!!!!!
Yep.. I know exactly what you are saying.. I went through it too, and you know what I did? I said the hell with it!
You are who you are, love who you are and don't suck or tag behind anyone. If they don't wish to include you or talk to you so be it. What are you getting out this so called friendship besides hurt and embarassment? Is it worth it? Find a new group of friends, it's very easy. Are you shy? If you are, it's time to come out of that shell girlfriend. Do you have anymore friends at the time? Even just one friend not associated with this clique? These groups will go on for the rest of your life, in college, at work, even as an adult, so pride yourself NOW and be determined to have your own group that you have originated and stop looking for acceptance in this group that clearly has no interest in your being with them.
You aren't jealous, you are hurt. You are hurt because you feel left out and outcast. I did too until I let them go - I am a firm believer that if you like me for me, I will like you for you. If I have to beg for your attention or conversation, then I am not going to deal with you because you are only setting yourself up to be used or the one they talk to because they have no one else to talk to dear heart. You are not secondary material! Seriously.
What type of social groups do you belong? If none,then look into joining some. I noticed you said that you have a best friend. I learned this the hard way - just because you are someone's best friend, doesn't mean that they are yours. I thought this one girl was my best friend, but I noticed that I was running up behind her, basically begging for attention. I noticed that I was not in the popular group but thought I was because she was. I was always the one who was driving them around for free. I was the one always telling my business to have it repeated, no one shared anything with me. I was always the one letting people borrow money - then it dawned on me that I was her bestfriend and was there for her at all times, but I accepted that She wasn't my best friend because she hardly talked to me, told me anything OR respected me. I noticed that I always was left feeling stupid and like a loser. I joined a church group, an academic team and other teams. I even did some volunteering for my church. upon doing this, I found happiness in myself and new friends!
so mainly females i ask to help me but if guys can thatd be great my area down their itchys like crazy it never has before but it does now a lot and i dont know what to do and once i start itching it takes me a while to stop and when i do stop it hurts not when i use the restroom but it just hurts
if you are itching in your pubic hair area, it is because of shaving with dull razors or the need to shave.
If you are itching on the inside, it could be because of a different soap, washing powder, vaginal powder, a yeast or bacteria infection. I noticed you said nothing in reference to an odor. There is an over the counter vaginal screen kit Fem-V and another one by Vagisil. I would recommend getting one of these and making an appoitment based on results.
If it's a yeast infection, you may purchase yeast infection medication over the counter. If it's a bacteria infection, you will need to visit the doctor or local health department. If you have had unprotected sex, you could have easily been introduced to a STD, in which case requires immediate medical attention.
You may also purchase a medicated douche over the counter as well, which helps relieve itching and irratation.
Good Luck and be safe!
16/f, I REALLY REALLY need help. I get along with everyone in the entire world except for my parents. They treat me well by giving me a nice home, clothing, other things, etc. but don't always consider my feelings. Ok, so I think my dad has some problems. He comes home from work every day cranky and moody. He takes out his anger and bad moods on my brother and mom as well, but most of all, he takes it out on me. It happens on almost a daily basis. I try to just walk away but I can't. My feelings and anger take over and I fight back. I feel like it's unfair for me to be treated this way by him. He's not nice to my friends either. Then there's my stupid, predictible mom. She sides with him over everything no matter what, all the time in any situation whatsoever. She agrees that he's moody and never does anything or says anything. She never protects me in any of these situations even when she knows I'm not being treated fairly. I talked to her about it once, and she's like, "I'm not getting involved in these stupid fights you have with him" When she knows for sure that I'm being the one attacked she stands there and doesn't say anything. But she totally contradicted that statement last night. What happened was, my dad was trying to figure out how to use his new camera and we were gonna watch a video on it and I told him to rewind it to the beginning and he said he didn't know how so I told him I would do it (all in a nice, pleasant tone) and the next thing you know he's screaming at me for bothering him. What's really, really funny is that when my dad was screaming at me, my mom looked at ME and yelled shut up. So that tells you something right there. She's so very much in denial about this and I can see through her like glass. Also, didn't she say two weeks ago that she's not getting involved in any fights? After the video thing I completely lost my temper and there was a huge fight. I know I shouldn't have done that but it's not fair!!!! The fact that my mom NEVER protects me hurts me more than anything. I've tried to talk to her about it countless times but nothing works. She's a brick wall. She's so unbelievably quick to yell at me but never at him. When I was in sixth grade I would get into fights with my dad a lot (on a much huger scale than now, though). My mom decided that I have problems and I need to go to therapy. So I did for a few years, which actually helped me get through a lot of other things in my life besides my family and then stopped because things were going ok. But now, of course my dad has issues and is my mom sending him to therapy? NO! She's not doing anything about it because she's in COMPLETE, UTTER, DENIAL. I even asked her if we could go back to the therapist and she said no, probably because she doesn't want to hear the truth. My parents; attitude toward it is, "I'm the father I can say whatever I want You're the child, your feelings don't matter. And they're like, if this continues, you'll be punished big time. It's not fair that I'm the scapegoat for my dad's actions. I try to walk away and ignore it but it hurts too much. I've disliked him since I was in fifth grade. If he just went to therapy things would be better. Do you really think it's fair that just because he's the "adult" and I'm the "child" he can treat me how ever he wants? It's not fair!!!!!!!!! I cry so much over this and I'm desperate for help. I don't know any dads like this and any moms who don't defend their own children. PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE help me!
I want to first say to you that I am so sorry that you are being yelled at and that you feel disrespected. I totally understand. I am going to tell you something - I have been there and done that, as the child and as the mother now!
Your father is verbally and mentally abusive. There is no reason for all of the yelling, regardless of his hard day at work, or life issues - home is supposed to be a safe haven, your place of serenity from a hard day of work or even something as simple as standing in a crowded grocery store line.
I have to say this also - you are still the child and your father is still the parent which means that you must respect him and stop yelling and fighting back. My expereince happened like this- my dad was abusive verbally and mentally for a long time, my mom did nothing. I didn't understand why she allowed him to talk to me this way and punish me for standing up to him since she wouldn't. I found other things to do to keep me away from home as much as possible. School events, hobbies, interest, volunteer work, church groups and outtings- positive things- now as a result of it, I felt empowered, stronger and thankful that I wasn't always around to be yelled at, or blamed for my dad's bad day at work or at church. (He was a pastor.) I later thought I was grown and got pregnant and had a child at 17 and I moved out of my parent's house.
If you have been to counseling, I am suggesting that you go again until you go off to college, so that you don't end up with a man like your dad. I did that too, which is why I said I have been the child and the mother. My son's father was an exact replica of my dad. I used to not say anything because I didn't want to get in the middle of it, nor did I want any conflict but, I reflected back to my mom and how I felt about her and at that point, I stood up for my son. I divorced him, placed my son in therapy and went to therapy myself!
I know you said you have tried talking before but why not try it again? Try talking to both of them, suggest family counseling. If the yelling, arguing, and dysfunctionality continues, seek help of a close family member who is willing to step in and step up.
Ask if you can live with a responsible family member. In the meantime, keep you together and watch your temper. Focus on bettering yourself and preparing for college so that you can get out of there! For now, try your best to work it out or develop distance (only to improve and motivate yourself), not distance to be nasty - and upon your decision, let them know what you are doing and what your plans are. Communication is key for building, without it, there is no foundation to build upon!
Feel Better dear heart and I am praying for you..Prayer works and conquers all! You may think you can't, but we have a God who can!
Sophia_pettus@yahoo.com
How do you know if someone is emotionally manipulative of you?
The fact that you are asking this question, makes me want to straight up say Yes, you are being emotionally manipulated. It's hard to answer this question, because you have provided no facts or reasoning for your question. I will try to help you determine the answer for yourself.
1. It's time to do some soul searching within yourself. Do you know who you are? Are you the same person you used to be?
2. Have you been here before and you are associating past manipulation with your current situation?
3.Are you always questioning yourself?
4.Are you always the one apologizing or being made blame for something?
5.Do you find yourself rationalizing for her or yourself?
6. Do you tell status lies as a way of covering up a situation with her or something she said or did?
7. Do you feel used and are you actually being used?
8. Have you changed as a person to calm or settle situation?
9.Have you lost friends or associates in order to please her instead of by your own choice and reason?
10.Do you feel like you are walking on egg shells when communicating with her?
11. Do you have an open communication, spiritual, physical, mental realm established and is it equivalent?
12. Do you have a voice or are you passive to avoid conflict?
13. Has your image of who you are changed for the Negative? Do you look down on yourself?
If you find that most of your HONEST answers reflect as negative, then yes you are being manipulated. If you want to email me exact information for an exact answer, please send to sophia_pettus@yahoo.com. I will answer you.
Life is too short, sweetness, be happy and LOVE YOURSELF. You must do this before you can love anyone else!!! Good luck and take care.
16/f
This probably sounds quite silly but heres the situation: I've already got one big group of friends that I hang with on weekends and in the summer and in some of my classes and all that. But theres this other group of kids that I would really like to like be a part of. I'm really good friends with some of the girls in it, like I've been friends with them since elementary school- in fact, we were best friends in elementary school. They're a totally different "style" if you understand what I'm saying. Like my current social group is like this random, really eclectic mix of kids who just want to be silly and have fun, and this one is more artsy, musical, intelligent, and creative. I would really fit into this group and would really like to be a part.
Well the problem is, I hang out with the second group all the time at school, but I never get invited when they hang out outside of school. I know they hang out all the time because they all put pictures on facebook and talk about it and stuff. Don't get me wrong, I get in sometimes, when its like a huge group that encompasses like "everybody", but when its like the core of the group I'm not in it. I'm not sure I'm explaining it well... It's not like they're selective, I'm just not in their little social circle. I try to plan events and invite the people that I do know well and encourage them to bring others, but I suspect they think I don't know them that well, but I do, becuase im in the school band with them, where everybody knows everybody well. So basicly my question is, how can I become like a "regular" in their social circle?
oh, and don't get me wrong- I'm not trying to leave my current friends- I'm just trying to make some new friends because I'm attracted to their style, their political/activist oppinions, and frankly, their more intuectual behavior. and also, as as with most 16-yr girls' actions, there is a boy involved... who i would definately like to get to know better!
No, it doesn't sound silly to me at all. It sounds like you are finding yourself and gaining identity of who you are.
First, why don't you just flat out ask the group that you would like to hang with if they would like to do something over the weekend? Upon coordinating the event, also invite your other group of friends unless you have a reason of not wanting to. I know that you said that you invite and encourage others to invite others, but why don't you do ALL of the inviting period? OR since there is a boy involved, why not express your interest in him? upon getting to know him, and being introduced to hang with him, you will also gain an opportunity to hang with the group too. Don't get me wrong, I am not advising you to JOCK anybody- seriously, DON'T beg anyone to like you, accept you or notice you. Just be yourself and don't set yourself up to be accepted into any group as a result of anything differing from interest of who you are and your standards b/c that could lead to hurt or you getting used or even talked about and treated like an outsider.
Why not just ask them what they are doing one day after school and ask if it's cool if you hang with them? it's a simple yes or no answer. If they say no, then consider them not interested in hanging with you. If the answer is sure, then go for it and have fun! Don't sell out on your other friends and cause them to feel hurt or neglected. It's not like you are separating from them just increasing your network of friends.
Im not extremly thin, nor am I as thin as I want to be, but latly a lot of people around me have been saying things about how I need to eat more and my mom and sister keep brining up that they think I am anorexic. I do not think I am anorexic Im about 5'6" an weigh about 125 and I want to weigh about 110. But they keep complaining because when we go out to grab a fast lunch say we go to subway I only eat about half of a 6in sub and that is all I eat until dinner, but I really do not think I am anorexic plus people keep saying to me that I am working out to much, I run 2 miles in the morning and go to the gym after work for about an hour to an hour and a half is there anything wrong with being fit? I guess what I am asking is honestly do I sound anorexic? and how can I get people to stop saying things about them thinking I have an eating disorder because I dont? Sorry its kind of long.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anorexia_nervosa
Above is a web site which provides an in depth definition of the term Anorexia and helpful information that I think you will find interesting and insightful.
You don't sound anorexic to me; however, the average weight of someone who is 5'6 is 118-155. With you weighing 125, you are within your range, according to what has been predetermined by the National Research Council - not 110 pounds.
Make a doctor's appointment just to get a check-up to make sure all is well, and gain healthy advice on weight loss if interested. Upon receiving that check-up, let them knowthat you followed up with the physician and received a good report and will be disregarding their comments until they become a physicians - based on what your doctor shares with you. If your doctor has bad news to share with you, seek help and thank them for bringing it to your attention.
Don't think these people who are commenting to you are actually trying to annoy you. They are commenting out of love and care for your health.
Be greatful that they care about you and love you.
Best of Luck!
Ok my boyfriend and I keep arguing because HE keeps messing up. It feels like I'm the bad person because I'm always getting mad at him. So I tried to keep it in one time because it felt like I was nagging & he found out and told me to always tell him when I'm mad at him. So I do! He messes like every other day & he's said he's not used to having a gf. Well, common sense should tell him certain things he does.
But when he doesn't mess up we're perfect for each other! We laugh & talk & everything! Its greeeat!
I don't know what to do. We've been together a month and I don't know if its a time issue and I have to let him get used to me or what? I'm tired of hearing him say "I'm sorry" all the time. But I love being with him when we're not arguing about his mistakes!
I am not really sure of the certain things that he does so it makes it really hard to really have insight on the matter.
I do know that relationships are always challenging - regardless of beginning or long termed - mainly b/c people are always getting to know each other. Even if you were married, there are still things to be learned about the other person.
It depends on what he is doing to mess up - if he's beating you, disrespecting you, dogging you basically hurting you and saying he's sorry, then I encourage you to go. If it's petty things such as trash being taken out, dishes being washed, then you can work through that - it's just a matter of communication.
Simple communication mess ups, are to be expected and can be corrected, yet serious mess ups (issues that cause you to question yourself, become distant, feel ignorant, scared, or insecure) are intentional mess ups and are done purposely and most apologies are fake and not sincere and the mess-ups become habitual as do the apologies.
If you wish to go more in detail for a more detailed answer, email me at sophia_pettus@yahoo.com.
Good Luck and most importantly be happy!
Like the majority of females, i have alot of issues with the way i look. I was never really completely satisfied with how i looked but i dealt with it, until about a year ago when i had my formal. I saw all the photos and i looked so fat and horrible. My old science teacher told me that an image from a mirror and an image from a camera look different because of the way energy is reflected, and it made me wonder if what i saw in the mirror was not what people saw.
When i look in the mirror, i dont see the perfect specimen ever created, but i dont see what i see in photo's of me. Then i considered how the camera makes you look like you've gained weight but it didn't help me feel any better.
Ever since my formal i've just been so self concious. I have a wondeful boyfriend who tells me aaaall the time how beautiful i am and how he would still think i am no matter how i looked but it just doesnt work.
Sometimes i feel guilty because my friends and loved ones tell me im pretty but i just dont believe it.
I'm not one of those girls who complains like "god im so fat", because i dont want to draw attention to the way i look. I just want to feel good about my body, but i dont know how.
Alot of the time i dress reasonably well, so i appear thinner than i really am, but wen im at home in my room where i can see myself without the makeup and what-not, i see how i really am.
How can i make myself like the way i look, and not feel so self concious when im around other people?
It is all mental! It is because of the magazines and television shows that show all of the SKINNY women and because we are of human nature, our mind digests it and we began to feel less than perfect because we don't weight what they weight or we don't look the way they look. You know what I did? I said they have on make up, they have been polished and aren't natural and that was the first start of my acceptance and liking of how I look. They also have money for surgeries, personal trainers and cooks!
Another thing - I used to weight 375- yep, I did. I am still over weight(based on society) "smile". because I weight 180 now. I have no health issues at all. I hate taking pictures because they make me look fat. You have to be determined to like the way you look because I am sure you have seen worst in someone who may be less fortunate than you. When you are around other people, ignore that people are around you and mentally concept that you are around people who you don't feel self concious around. Also, know when you do feel self concious on the inside it shows on your outside and takes away your shine, and no one can see the real you.
Try a different hair style or color. Try a new lip stick or gloss shade - try different things to add and/or change your appearance. You could just be tired of seeing the same look which is causing you to feel that way. I have found that also works for me too, even something as simple as a new pair of ear rings or a new shirt in a different color than I would normally wear. These things make you feel good about yourself! A person who is beautiful on the inside is always way more beautiful than a person only beautiful from the outside!
I think that I am over-analytical, and I dont let anything go. And I always look for a deeper answer, because to me, no one does something "just because". If someone asks me a question, my first thoughts are "why would they want to know that, what are they trying to get at?" I cant just simply leave it at maybe they are curious, or just have a general interest in what ever the topic is. Same principal for actions, like if someone does something for me. While I dont say anything out loud, I dwell on many things that possibly have no deeper side.
Am I paranoid or something?
This is a great question! I am the same way. I am always told that I am too analytical or that I think too much.
It isn't weird at all. It is detailed, and intellectual to have the ability to go deep. Have you ever taken a personality test or psychological evaluation? I have and it showed me that people think differently, they respond, and react differently. I am a very analytical person, and detailed oriented. I like detailed explanation and questions answered with depthtivity. I will say this, it is annoying when I am unable to communicate with people effectively - they seem to get annoyed with me by my questions or my answers. as I get annoyed with them for their simplicity. I am always told that I am too complicated or complex. I have heard it for years and I still hear it today - so that means that this is who you are, how you are and it must be accepted. I find NOTHING negative about being this way at all. I am actually glad to see someone else is the same way because it is very rare and odd to come across people that are gifted as such.
I have found that it does cause barriers within a relationship if the person you are communicating with isn't on the same level as you may be. I have found that it has prevented me from getting jobs too, it has caused me to basically be set apart, and considered as different because it's out of the norm. I love the way I am and I love the person I am, and have no intent of changing and I hope you don't either, because we aren't paranoid, we are in tune with our mental and have the ability to tastefully express it, acknowledge it,and intellectually think it. Be proud that you have the ability to go there!