ohitscassidy's advice column

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Q: I'm not sexually active. By the way. I'm fifteen..
But recently, and this is so embarrassing haha but, I found these bumps just above where my vagina starts. Like, in the pubic hair "region". They looked like whiteheads so my first instinct was to pop them, and when I did they popped just like a zit.
It wasn't really near my vagina, if it was I wouldn't have tried popping them. It was like in the middle of my pubic hair.
I'm not sexually active, so what could these possibly be?

it could be razor burn from shaving,
or an ingrown hair.. its probably an ingrown hair most likely .. its nothing to be worried about

Q: I'm a 17 y/o guy, and have really bad hormones. I'm always horny and never seem to find a way to stop being horny. I masturbate a lot...daily in fact. Watch porn daily as well. I have a hard time with girls because of it. I feel its because i want the feeling of being loved... I'm not close to any girls, so being friends with benefits is not really possible. what should i do? and how should i go about venting? how could i get a friend with benefits?

my friend had the same problem he told me about it ha, and he said he got a (fleshlight) look it up
he told me that worked for him hah

Q:
I don't know what to do. Me and my boyfriend had sex over a month ago, we used a condom and everything but my period HASN'T COME...and I've never panicked this much about this before. Usually when it's late it's about a week late and everything but this is just too long.

We probably had sex the VERY end of june... and then all month july with no period. Now it's august 10th and I STILL havent gotten it.

We used protection and everything though, so I don't know if something happened, like the condom didn't break open or anything.

IT;s not even like the sex lasted THAT LONG ya know? so I don't understand... like I don't get why its so late.

Could I be pregnant?
I'm extremely worried.
What signs would I be getting if I were a month pregnant?

Please help me... I'm so scared.

i was in the same situation ha,
sex can't delay your periods and since its been a month my advice would be to buy a pregnancy test right away to see if you really are pregnant and if you are take it from there... and if you are not and you still haven't gotten go see your doctor

Q: i am not sure if it was flirting considering the nature of the initial relationship (he was my teacher in a course that i just took over the summer... no school problems attached here and that is what is confusing me because he is not a professor in college just a language course i am taking) but i am really kind of interested in this guy and i want to push it...

i don't know if he is a sleezball or if he is nice or if he's even as smart and unique as i'd like him to be... but i know he kind of understands my background... all i know is that i want someone and that someone could potentially be him...
in any case he seems interested in my background. in fact he asked me about myself on more than one occasion and he seems to see me under a different light after he realized we share a similar background with cultures that have similar norms (i am not sure for good intentions or for bad) in any case i can't seem to get a chance to be alone with him (with exception to this one time and we both had to go back inside and he pretended to step out for fresh air when he saw me go out distressed after a phone call... he asked what was wrong and offered to help me with studying... but being in such a foul mood i am not sure what signs i gave him................)
i will be seeing him monday... and it is probably the last time i will unless something happens... a girl i know from that class is coming along because we need to give in an assignment... how do i take advantage of this situation???? she is leaving with me so i can't wait for her to leave before me... and if in case that happens what do i say.... and how do i know if he is just caring or if he actually is interested!? any suggestions would be fantastic!!!

you could casually say that he has been a big help to you and ask for his email address or something, and then start talking to him more and see what happens from there, because from what you described it sounds like he could either be interested or as you said just caring but to no for sure if you don't want to just ask him is to talk to him more

Q: Anyone no where i can get a peace necklace thats white sortof like this one

http://www.kaboodle.com/hi/img/2/0/0/ca/3/AAAAAtX-7EwAAAAAAMoxYQ.jpg

i got mine from Spencers in the mall but pretty much any store has the nowadays in the mall

Q: Everytime my boyfriend and I perform foreplay or intercourse it is really uncomfortable. It feels like his penis and fingers are hitting something.

He isn't even going really deep, it's probably only about an index finger deep before I feel the pain.

It can't be anything do to with his size because my previous boyfriend was a much smaller size yet I felt the same discomfort.

I decided to "explore" myself a little, to see if I could maybe find a way that is less uncomfortable, but I just can't work it out.

Im sick of this getting in the way of thngs, my boyfriend keeps worrying, because he thinks he is doing something wrong no matter how much I tell him it's not him.

Does anyone have any idea's what could be causing this?

well at certain times of the month your cervix hangs lower then it usually does and when something hits it with force like a penis.. it hurts a lottttt that use to happen to me and then we had sex after my period when its back up and it was fine and didnt hurt at all.. maybe thats whats happening with you ?

Q: I get these brown little dots on my legs every time I shave, and my friend told me I need to stop shaving with soap, water, and those cheap little disposable shavers. I went to the store and bought a Venus vibrance, shaving gel, and nivea cream to moistoure my skin. I shaved about 2 days ago, and though my legs still have the visible little pores [I know it'll take time for those to go away], I woke up yesterday with billions of painful little red bumps on my private area and inner thighs..some are even full of pus... My friend says I have to get used to the new shaver and that I probably shaved too hard, but is this gonna happen every time I shave? How do I get rid of them? Thanks in advance.

yeah thats called razor burn.. make sure the razor is a new one each time and dont do it to hard, and make sure your shaving the way the hair grows.

also the professional models when they have to wear a bikini they run deodorant over there "private parts" after they shave and it sounds weird but it really does work in keeping the bumps away

Q: if you have unprotected sex a day before your period, is that too soon for you to miss your period?

i dont think so, i was in the same problem and i did miss my period, and i have a regular period so you still can miss it

Q: i have to pluck my eyebrows every morning. sometimes it's just about to grow out and i have like a black dot there. but i cant really pluck it though because it hasnt grown out enough.
what should i do about these problems?
it looks really baaad :(

get it done professionally with wax

Q: 16-f
never been to a formal homecoming but me and my boyfriend decided we'd go for kicks.
i need some ideas on Short not super short but about knee legth dresses that i can find something cute from.
& shoes that would go with. im bad with cordinating things.
the only Jewerly i have is white gold so i would like it to go with that.
im not looking to spend over $$100

if it helps i have medium brown hair about shoulder length.
Hazel eyes (brown, Gold, & Green)
and fair colored skin
hieght 5'6"er7"ish
Weight about 120lbs.

go to Debs they have amazing dresses for cheap

Q: ok i need awnsers for this please....this is very blunt .. ok im 21 ive had 7 sexual partners. everytime ive had sex ive never bled except twice when i started my period during it but ive never bled during any sexual contact. i just got off my period about a week and a half ago and tonight me and my b/f were messing around and he was fingering me really hard and i started to bleed...not like period colored blood it was like bright red and i started to feel a little diffrent after that but not like crampy feeling and i didnt bleed for a long time...mabe like an hour or less tops... is it possible i got my cherrie popped??

could be, but since you have had 7 sexual partners maybe not.. you could have broken it before you even had sex it can break from simple things like inserting a tampon, riding a horse, playing sports ext..

but who knows maybe it was your "cherry that poped"

Q: so i know this sounds like i\'m being totally used but i really don\'t think i am. so just read this.

i met a guy online he\'s 22 and i\'m 17. we talked online for a few weeks and then i gave him my number and we talked like all the time for a few months. the whole time he was talking about how he wanted to meet me but i was like i don't know. eventually i agreed to meet him and he picked me up and brought me to his house.. not very smart on my part i know but nothing bad happened.

since then we've had sex and its very good but i feel really guilty since he's older and i don't think thats legal and if my dad found out he would kill me. ive tried to tell him that i don't think we should talk anymore but every time i do i'll go a few days without talking to him and it's like unbareable.

so yeah but thats not the biggest problem. he says he loves me and i know that most guys his age have bad intentions with girls my age but he\'s put up with so much from me that i really think he means it. and isn\'t just like using me for sex because i\'m the one who made the first move even tho he was probably thinking about it. he says he loves me and i\'m the most perfect girl he\'s ever met and that he wants to stay with me forever and have kids and blah blah blah....

i don\'t know.. i mean i like him and he's always really sweet to me and i think he's attractive but i don\'t think i love him... and i know i don\'t want to marry him and he's talked about it some and i\'m like woah. so basically what i\'m looking for is any opinions on my situation. like what i should do or what you think or whatever.

i dont think its illegal for you guys to have sex.. depending on your state laws in my state you have to be 16.. but he may not be using you it sounds like he just really likes you, if you dont love him back you should tell him how you really feel and see what happens from there. its not fare that he loves you and you dont love him and your keeping that from him

Q: i like this guy but from what i tell you, can you guys give me your opinion if you think he likes me or not?

okay so we arranged a time to hang out (through texting) and then we hung out. while we were hanging out he would always try to be near me and when i would leave the group he would tell me to come back. i was basically with him the whole night. he told alot of his secrets and like..important things and lots about his family and stuff. and when he left our hug was really long and he kinda like held me. ok by reading this your probably gunna think he likes me but then he did stuff like burp in front of me and fall alot and i remeber reading something that if a guy burps in front of you its a sign that he doesn't like you like that...can you guys tell me what you think? also if you do think he likes me, (we've only hung out twice) when do you think he'll make a move? like how long does it take for guys to be ready or whatever? thankss

im 17/f by the way.

some guys dont care if they burp in front of girls.. that has nothing to do with if they like you or not.. it sounds like he either likes your or thinks of you as a really great friend.. the only way to find out for sure is to make the first move if he hasnt already. if he likes you he could be to shy to make the first move in fear that you dont like him so maybe compliment him and drop him little hints that you like him and maybe he will make the move otherwise just do it yourself and see what happens from there

goodluck

Q: hi, i noticed that i have two blister like things (one on either side) of my vagina. well not like exactly there, but where like the legs end and the vagina begins kinda haha its hard to explain. but anyways, i dont know how i got them or how long they've been there. but they really hurt and i dont know what to do about it.
i think it might have been from walking 3 miles with my friend a few days ago and the like friction from my pants or something might have caused it but im not totally sure.
can anyone help?

if your not sexually active, then that rules out the possibility's of STD's so.. they probably are from the friction of your pants thats happened to me before

Q: Okay i am fat and i want to loose like 50 pounds because i am over wight for my age. I mean i look horrible in a swimsuit, and when my guy friends come over to swim they also say that i need to loose wight to i can wear a bikin i 2 piece of somethin. and there in never any cute cute 1 pices. So if u have tips for a girl over wight please help thx!

see a doctor and he or she can put you on the right diet plan to help you lose your goal weight

Q: this question is mainly for the people who have analyzed every single facial feature...or people who know a lot about piercings. i want a piercing, but i cant decide which kind to get. what piercings draw attention TO a certain facial feature? and what about away from? do certain ones make you looky boyish, and certain ones make you look girly? like if i were to get snakebites or whatever, but only on one side..which side? the side i part my hair on or other? i've always noticed that people's noses always lean a little bit more one way. and people always have one eye that is a little bit bigger and well shaped that the other. well yeah, you get the point. help please! thanks

i know a couple people who have there monroe pierced and the always seem to get it done on the right.. same with snake bite if your getting one.. you really can put it on witch ever side you want but most people get it done on the right, the only pericing i think is to boyish is getting your nose pierced like a bull .. i think that ones a little bit to boyish but it doesnt matter anyone can get it done

Q: My cat (3 years old) Has a cough, like she's gagging, a fever, and no appitite.

( I know it's a fever because her nose is hot/dry. Her ears are warm.)

What do I do. I will take her to the vet monday but till then is there something else I can do?

you should call and ask your vet what you should be doing until the appointment

Q: OK so you know the movie step brothers that just came out? Well i want to see it sooooo bad and so does my friend. the problem is that we are not 17 and when i look at why it is rated R well it just does not help. My mom said if someone else i know saw it and said it was fine then i could but most of my friends are not in town. Now language is not a problem it is just the sexual stuff and i was just wondering if it had a lot of "showing". I just dont know if i should see it or not. Oh and I'm 14. thanks!

havent seen it yet
but its not like your watching a porno.. even if there is a seen wear it shows some boob or something who cares your 14 its not a big deal its a movie..

Q: 13/f
Well I watch some porn on the internet sometimes and i just wanted to know if it is wrong for me to do that. Like it just makes me feel good and stuff and i think it might be keeping me from having sex. ( I know its kind of personal.)

your hormones are starting to kick in its perfectly normal everyone at some point has watched it .. theres nothing wrong with it

Q: my friend who's name is andee is usually the happy type of person.. she rarely cries. and today, i found out that andee was crying really hard to my other friend. andee is really close to her grandma, and turns out that her grandma has cancer. me and my friend is planning to all hang out and to cheer andee up, but what should i say to be able to comfort her? i'm not very good at comforting people when it comes to something that you can't stop from happening, so what should i say?

please & thank you!

my advice is.. there isnt anything you can say at a time like this.. im not saying act like its not happening but.. go about your normal thing and hang out with her and try to get her laughing to ease her mind a bit if shes really deppressed about it let her no your there for her and if she needs anything or if theres anything you can do but dont push her to much about it