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January 23, 2007Answers:
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My name is Elly and I am 18 years old. I live in Michigan and I graduated High School in '07. I'm currently attending a great college, but I'm home for the summer. It's too nice outside to sit on the computer all day, so I might not be as active on here as I would like.I guess a good way to describe me is experienced. I've discovered a lot about life and I can't wait to discover more... while having fun at the same time of course! ...BUT, like everyone, I have experienced things in life that I rather wish I hadn't. And I also feel that those bad experiences qualify me to help others with this column.
I have been in a serious relationship for over two and a half years now. I personally know that love is a difficult thing to nurture. It takes a lot of work. Life is NOT a fairytale where two people can simply love each other and everything will just fall into place. It doesn't work like that in the real world.
People on Advicenators are starting to disappoint me. Everyone says "ooh I want to help! I've experienced EVERYTHING!" Yet, I can't tell you how many questions I see with answers like "you could have googled that" or "we're not going to do your homework" or "I'm so sick of 'wow does he like me?!' questions." I used to sort of be like that, but now I realize how hypocritical that is. If I know the answer to a question, I will answer to the best of my ability without making you feel stupid for asking it in the first place. Advicenators is going to turn into a pretty nasty place if people just keep brushing off questions like that.
Rate or don't rate. I really don't care. But don't give me a 1 just because I tell you something you don't want to hear. Go to your mom for advice if you want sugarcoated answers.
I can give excellent advice on:
relationships/sex
friendship
family issues
anything about animals (i worked at a vet for several years)
college
advice
The relationship I have with my bestfriend Adam is... Diffrent. I really like him, and everyone says we'd make a cute couple, but I'm ugly.
And don't be like oo don't call yourself that no your not.. yes I am. I have naturally curly hair that everyone says they want but it's uncontrolible..and I have discoloration on my neck, armpits, and in between my legs (not IN, but around) not that anyone can see that, but they can my neck and it looks like hardcore dirt but it's not I have Acanthosis Negracans. And it's because im fat. And im not talking a little over-weight, I weight 220 and im 14. and its not portioned on my body.. it's all in my gut!I look like in pegante! Im gross and I do like Adam but I don't get my hopes up with anything. I hate everypart of my body not madder how many times anyone says im pretty. Im not and they're just trying to make me feel better.Pity Me.
Well a couple days ago Adam called me fat. Me&Steven were like attacking eachother when Adam yelled "WATCH OUT BUS IS COMING!!!" and I like broke down.. First I kicked him in the nuts and he tumbled.. and we were gunnago to the dance as friends so he said "Wow, is this how you treat all your dates??" and i laughed and him I said "You must think a lot of yourself if you think I'll even talk to you!" and walked away. and it fealt so good to stick up for myself but i cried all night. I am fat and I dont wanna be but it's so hard, my parents are never home, they never listen to me and it feels like the only time im happy is when im eating (ive been to a theripist and thats what she said.) and when my parents are always argueing and i cant to anything right. I've tried making myself vomit, but nooo it hurt soo bad id rather be the wall i am then have my throat hurt like that. But with Adam he said he was sorry, but he thinks its like a free card. He doesnt mean it! So I told him to leave me alone, it's not going to work your always making fun of me.. and he called me like 20 times that night and my Dad was all why dont u just talk to him.. but im wasnt about to tell him so i just took a long bath until all the icecream was gone (and people wonder why im fat) I broke mirrors, cried until my eyes burned.. and the whole day after that my skin was blotchy, it was obvois i'd been crying and Adam wouldn't leave me alone saying he was sorry. And yes I know people will think im being harsh but hes wasnt the first time making fun of me.. Then when we became talking again we startd hanging out, but i never actually forgave him and i rold him i didnt like him joking about me and he said he would stop and he has. Well last ight my Mom left again for her buseness and my Dad got drunk and i couldnt handle it so I left.. and I walked like a mile dieing, having an asthma attach *I DONT HAVE ASTHMA THO* to Adams house and we just talked. It was fun but should i say im sorry?? to him because I hoe he'll stop because im like 80 pounds overweight, adn im tall for my age. IM HUGGEE so i was wondering should I consider diet pills?
Its getting to cold to start walking and Im not going to ask my parents for a treadmill! I do have an Ablonge tho and I want this gone by next summer. I want my whole gut gone! I wanna be able to wear a bikini or something for the first time in my whole life.. and If i lose weight my discoloration in my neck will go away.then there wont be anything wrong with me.
My Goal= Be able to see my toes.
and be able to shop at like Areopostale and not have people think"why is that fatass shopping here? Like she can even fit in these cloths. Which I cant..
Anything is helpful. I need to go on a diet and i want it gone by summer.. but i dont want like saggy-skin GROSS.
I have Thick Thighs, and stomach but my arms and calf (my calfs mustcle i need ot to lug my ass around.. and my arms are tiny. I dont have a double chin.. its my Stomach mostly no ally.. i want to just eat salads, workout and that's it.
But i dont wanna go hungry. which sounds stupid I know bu i cant sleep hungry I cant even fall asleep hungry..
Anything will be helpful.
Just a little advice about Adam, I would give him another chance. He is trying to apologize, after all. If it happens again though, I wouldn't talk to him anymore.
As for losing weight, there are plenty of ways to go about it without going hungry. I'm assuming that you're not used to dieting, so you should start off small. Pick 3-5 unhealthy foods/drinks that you have on a daily basis and CUT THEM OUT OF YOUR LIFE. When I decided to lose some weight, all I did was stop drinking regular pop, eating french fries, and I didn't have any ice cream. I didn't exercise or change anything else and I lost 7 pounds within a few weeks. Start with something small like that to boost your confidence and get yourself started.
It's great that you have an AB lounge. Definitely use it at least once a day. Start off at using it for 15 minutes and then try to increase one minute every day. That will really help get rid of the excess fat in your stomach. There are also exercise tapes you can get for the winter months (I know they are cheesy, but they work; plus no one has to know that you use them except you). My favorite exercise tapes are "Walk Away the Pounds." You basically walk 1-3 miles in one place and do various exercises with weights. It really works.
DO NOT EAT OR DRINK ANYTHING EXCEPT WATER AFTER 7:00 PM!!! I cannot stress this enough! Any food eaten after that time will become fat simply because your body does not burn as many calories at that time of the day. DO NOT SKIP MEALS OR STARVE YOURSELF IN ANY WAY!!! If you do this, your metabolism will slow way down and will actually cause you to gain weight. If you are hungry, go ahead and indulge in a healthy snack.
Healthy snacks could be some carrot sticks and low fat ranch, some low fat yogurt, a handful of pretzels, some wheat crackers, a handful of cheese cubes, celery with a small amount of peanut butter, fruit, etc. The possibilities are endless as long as you don't reach for potato chips or cookies.
Next time you are feeling sad and reach for that pint of ice cream, think "Why am I upset? What is bothering me?" Now, instead of indulging your feelings in junk food, throw all that energy into working out. Every time your catch yourself eating just because you're upset or bored, go do some sit-ups, use your AB lounge, jog in place, or do ANYTHING that involves you being active.
I'm not sure if you're interested, but a really fun workout is DDR. I spent a whole summer playing it without changing any of my eating habits and I lost 20 pounds.
I know you can do this, you just have to focus on channeling your passion for food into passion for health. Good luck and let me know if you need any more help!
So me and my boyfriend have been dating for a year and a month and we've been sexually active for 7 months i think.. anyways we were casually having sex the other day and the condom broke.. it was the second condom but he ejaculated in the first one not the second but there was still some on his shaft he thinks.. anyways i took plan b(the morning/day after pill) and i was just wonder what experience you guys have had with it.. does it work well? and do you think i could be pregnant? all i've heard is that the m.a.p. works realllllly well! but i want to know your stories!
As far as I know, as long as you take it within 48 hours of unprotected sex, the morning after pill should work just fine. I've taken it before and I didn't have any side effects either; however, I was also on birth control during the time that I took the m.a.p. (I was quite paranoid lol).
I really don't think you are pregnant, but it wouldn't hurt to take a pregnancy test if your period turns out being late. Keep in mind if you're really stressed out about this, it could delay your period, so try not to worry about it too much.
okay so im on the normal 21day contraceptive pill and on friday i was sick. in the leaflet for the pill it says that if you're sick while taking the pill that you should use extra contraception for 7days after you're sick. ive been taking the pill normally since then everyday and today me and my boyfriend had unprotected sex and he came in me and its only been about 4days (mon-fri) should i take the emergency morning after pill just to make sure? and can you have the morning after pill while on the 21day pill? please answer quick because i may have to go to the pharmacy tomorrow morning :( im so worried
It is okay to take the morning after pill while on birch control. I suggest you go out and get the pill ASAP because the sooner you take it, he more effective it is. Better safe than sorry.
I forgot to check when you asked this question, but if it has been more than 48 hours since you had unprotected sex, I really don't think the morning after pill will help you.
If you're really concerned about it, definitely see a doctor for some suggestions.
Maybe this is a dumb question, and I know I'm definitely a super-impatient person, but how long does it normally take for you to get your letter of acceptance or declination from a college or university after applying?!
thanks!
If you apply in the summer, you usually here back from them anytime between October and January. The average amount of time it takes is about 12 weeks.
ok, so theres this guy who i went out with, but i broke up with him, cuz i never really liked him. so he calls me bad stuff behind my back, but according to his friends, he still reallly likes me.
whats his deal?
It's simple: he's hurt. He probably feels like you led him on and hes disappointed you never liked him back. Calling you bad stuff is the only thing that seems to make him feel better, so he does it to get back at you.
I think it would be a good idea to sit down with this kid and have a talk. Apologize to him and be honest: you didn't like him and it wasn't going to go anywhere. Tell him that breaking up was the right thing to do instead of pretending there was something there. Ask him if you can put it all behind you and be friends. Hopefully then he'll grow up.
Good luck!
okay well today was me and my man's 1 month anniverseryy. :D and we havent kissed and we havent said i love you yet. we went out 1 time before and he had told me that he likes to say i love you first cause he was just like that and doesnt want to say it if he doesnt mean it. and now that we have been going outt for 1 month and he still hasent said anything yett, should i talk to him. or whatt? i started saying XO! and stuff when he gets home and texts me i say okayyy. XO! and stuff but he doesnt text me back. i dont want to sound all pushy and telll him i think we shoulld kiss and i think we should sayy i love you too each other. so yeahh helpp me pleaseee! :D
Honestly, I think you are trying to push things a little too soon. You've only been dating the guy a month and that's much too soon for that. Give him some time. It's really sweet that he only wants to say it when he means it and he seems like a great guy for doing that. If you did push him into saying "i love you," things could get pretty bad. Relationships that are rushed into like that don't last long. So just be patient and it will happen sooner than you know it! :)
As for kissing, why not make a move? Next time you have him alone, cuddle up next to him and just talk to him softly about how happy he makes you and how wonderful the past month has been. Then, with your head still kind of on his shoulder, tilt your face up towards him, smile sweetly, and move in for the kiss.
Good luck and I hope it all works out!
This is ruining my relationships with people because they are getting bored...
I have an anxiety disorder and I'm not comfortable with doing things with people. You know, like playing video games or sports. I don't like people watching what I do and I really don't like it when I happen to mess up.
How can I overcome this? I might be getting some medication but I don't know if it will actually do anything for this.
Any suggestions for something to do with friends?
If sports and video games make you uncomfortable, try doing a different activity with your friends that doesn't pose any type of competition (for lack of a better term). Go to the movies, have a movie night at home, go to the mall, go to the beach, listen to music and chat, etc. There are lots of things you can do with your friends that won't make you worry about messing up or worry about people watching you.
If that doesn't help, maybe try hanging out with a larger group of people so perhaps you won't feel like the attention is one you.
Hopefully that medication will help you out, but I'm sure you can overcome this and learn to have a good time with your friends! Hope all turns out for the best!
do the first thing baby animals see (living?) they perceive as their mother? like for wild animals.. what if you stumble upon a nest and just then an egg cracked and the baby saw you? hmm but then dont babies not see yet bc their eyelids are closed? so how does this all work?
That's not always true. Basically, whoever feeds the baby animal is probably who they are going to consider to be a mother figure. Food and shelter, as an instinct, are their first and only priorities.
okay i want everyone to be completely honest.
so me and this guy went out for like little more than half a year and then we broke up. but i found out like a week before we broke up he did stuff with this girl who happens to be related to me. and i understand why he did what he like we had a big fight because something stupid i did i didnt cheat but i made a mistake in listening to someone i barley knew over believing the guy that i loved with all my heart but any ways now this guy like talks to me every night and talks about how he wants to hookup and crap and i would definitely even though he has a new girlfriend(the girl he cheated on me with) and im still in love with him and i know he still loves me its a really hard situation, and most of you will probably think "if he cheated he doesnt love you" but it isnt like that. so i just want to know like would that make me like a slut or whore because of what im doing? like do you think that makes me a bad person?
It's not slutty at all. Things just took a slight turn for the worst and now you want him back. But I think a break might do the two of you good. If he wants to have another girlfriend for now, let him. You should try to meet other people as well. There's no reason the two of you can't be friends, but there is also no reason for you to "hook up" on the side while either of you is dating someone else. It's not fair to his girlfriend, nor is it fair to your heart. Let things go with him and if that love you're talking about is real, you will end up back together with him in the end.
I'm sure you're young and you have a lot going for you. Take a break from this guy for awhile, but be sure to try and stay friends. Things will work out in the end. You might meet someone even better than he is. And if you don't, you'll realize how great he is for you and I'm sure he'll realize the same about you. Take a chance and go with the flow. Everything will be okay, I promise.
:)
are college courses hard? are they anything like the ap classes in high school?
This usually depends. From my own experience, I'll have you know that all of my high school teachers made college sound like it's this big, scary place where no one will help you if you're having trouble. That is SOO not true. All my professors at college are really nice and helpful. If you are challenged in your college courses, there will always be places you can turn to and get help.
My high school AP english class was WAAY harder than the english course I'm taking in college right now. I guess it depends on how hardcore your high school teachers treat you. Mine were pretty tough.
So are college courses like ap classes? It depends. Just relax knowing that if you find your college courses to be a bit too much, there will be people there to help you out.
:)
What coloured nylons would look better with a white blouse and a dark kilt (school)?
White (not totally whtie though because it kinda stretches and shows a little bit of the colour of my legs)
Navy blue
black (not totally black, stretches through)
any opinions aprrecieated!
I suppose it depends on what color the kilt is. You said it was dark, but what color?
When in doubt, just remember that black and white go with everything. I would lean more towards the white to match your blouse.
Somebody left a voicemail on my cell singing "Somewhere over the rainbow" just those words, not the whole song. I have a suspicion its my crush. We don't talk much but I guess we're friends. I was just wondering if he chose that song on purpose because it had a symbolic meaning. What do you think?
F/16
PS: I could be wrong but I think he was the only one there, like he called by himself. There were no voices in the background, no laughing, just horrible singing ;)
Should I call him back? What do I say? The number was blocked by the way.
I would call him back, with your number blocked, and say "bluebirds fly" (i think those are the next lyrics... you may want to check on that) and hang up. Just to see what he does. If it really is him, he'll know it's you and he'll flirt back OR he'll be completely confused, but its okay because he won't know it's your number! It's worth a try!
I use a pretty strong skincare line called "Acne Free" but I have some pimples on my forhead i want to get rid of by this weekend so i was wondering if anyone knew of any great medicins to put on them or something...? Thanks!
Try doing a simple spot treatment. Get some pure lemon juice and a single aspirin. Crush the aspirin until it is a fine powder. Then, mix a small amount of lemon juice with the powder until it makes a semi-thick paste. Put the paste on each individual pimple and leave it on for twenty minutes, then rinse. Do that twice a day, three if your skin doesn't get too dried out, and they should be gone by this weekend.
Good luck!
the what do you mean by "other things?"
I'm assuming this is the person that asked the question about playing with a girl's breasts. By "other things," I meant that there is other stuff that would make them feel even more good physically. That basically includes stimulating her clitoris, whether it be through mutual masturbation, oral sex, or skin to skin contact. If you're looking to please a girl, that's the best way to go.
I have a question about asking for letters of recommendation...
I am interested in applying to graduate school, and wanted to know a couple of things about the whole letter of recommendation process:
a) if I am not in the same city as my previous university, what would be a good way of asking a professor to write me a letter? Email, phone, etc.. and also, what would I need to mention to them?
b) I want to apply to multiple programs- is it generally acceptable to have the professor submit a letter to an office in the university, that will send out photocopies of the letter out to each school? Or is it necessary to have the professor him/herself send out a copy to each and every school I apply to?
Thank you!!
a) Since your professor would be doing you a favor, it would be more polite for you to contact him/her by phone. If it's impossible to get a hold of them, then and email would be acceptable.
b) This depends on where you are applying. Many graduate schools will want to receive the letters of recommendation directly from the source to ensure their accuracy. Call the schools you are applying to and find out what way they would prefer. If your professor ends up having to send out the letter to all the schools, make sure to make it as easy as possible for him/her by giving him all the information right away.
what can one do to a girls nipple, or boob to make it feel good?
specifics would be good, thanks
Honestly, it's not that it physically "feels good," but it is arousing for some girls. When a guy plays with a girl's breasts, usually during sex or other types of intimate activity, it makes her feel wanted and beautiful. If you want to please a girl in this way, gently caress her breasts and kiss them softly. Some licking is okay, but don't drench her in saliva. No biting. It's not nice and it fricken hurts.
Other than that there's not much else to say. Stimulating a girl's breasts won't make her feel nearly as good as other things, but some girls do enjoy it.
hi I have a question because nobody can help me. well when I'm logged in on my myspace my pictures are blurry? and everyones else is, too. and I don't know why it's doing this. when im looking at my pictures on my COMPUTER, there clear.
do you think this is something with myspace or my comp?
or what because i dont know, when iwas at my friends house, my pictures were CLEAR AS HECK
so whats going on?
thanks so much for any help!
I would email Tom about that. I seriously have no clue.
I want tio make a CD of love songs for my guy
we have been loving eachother for almost a year now.and our anniversary is coming up on OCT22 nd.:D
I've downloaded
Savage garden- I knew i loved you and truely madly deeply
etc]
and i love them!
can anyone give me the names of more songs I can use
I want songs with beautiful touching music
PLEASE HELP!!!!
I Need You - Leanne Rimes
L-O-V-E - Nat King Cole
Guardian Angel - Red Jumpsuit Apparatus
Moved By You - Lifehouse
I'm Lost Without You - Blink 182
That's Where It Is - Carrie Underwood
There's a few good ones. It you'd like more let me know, but I'm sure you'll get a lot of answers to your questions.
:-)
ok so my boyfriend and i had sex for the first time a couple of days ago. he didnt finish but hey, sex is still sex. he said i was REALLY tight and like, ive been fingered before a few times but idk. what can i do to get looser?
oh and also,
i was a virgin before that day and he wasnt, but umm...it didnt really hurt me that bad. like it did for a second like really bad but then i got used to it. does that mean that hes small or im just used to it?
First of all, you being tight is a good thing. It usually feels better for the guy; however, it might cause you some discomfort, like what you described in your question. There's not much you can do about it really. I'm sure your vagina will stretch out over time. When you had sex for the first time and then it stopped hurting, that's all it was: your vagina stretching a little bit and adjusting to having a penis in there. It will probably continue to hurt when you have sex in the future, but each time your body will probably get used to it again like what happened the first time. Just make sure to tell your boyfriend to go slow so he doesn't hurt you and you should be fine.
Okay, I myself being a columnist hate it when there is more than one question to be answered clumped into one question. So, anywhos, I'm asking it as a separate question.
I'm 15/f(Sophomore). Bob and Betty are 16/f (Juniors) I met Bob through Betty and Betty and I are really good friends. Betty doesn't have feelings for Bob. Bob used to or still does have feelings for Betty. Bob just now, though, said he likes me as in like me, like me. And I told my friend to tell him that I was neutral (or at least I hope it sounded like I was neutral. Or at least it didn't sound like I didn't like him)
I'm pretty sure that I like him. It's just that I'm really worried about hurting him or damaging our friendship. I'm basically an emotional wreck with a 100lbs of mess and trouble hooked to the back of me. I really do want to go out with Bob, which is hard to do seeing that my mom doesn't like Bob and that he goes to another high school. But our school has a lot of events Bob can come to...Anywhos! Back to the point. Should I take a chance with Bob or just I don't know. Tell me what I should do. I really don't want to hurt him or the friendship but I know that in the end, nothing good ever lasts. And I don't know. I like him. But my fear of hurting him/friendship prevents me from letting me get in a relationship with him.
I don't know. Help?
If you're confused, help me help you by asking me to clarify parts your confused on. Thanks =)
Normally, I would tell people to just let it go and don't risk the friendship. But you know what? You only live once. You're not going to be in high school forever. Why not take a chance with this one?
Talk to Bob about this. Express your concerns and ask if the two of you can take things slow and get to know each other better. Once you really get close, you'll be able to tell if you want a serious relationship with Bob and he with you. He likes you; you like him... what do you have to lose? If he is a good friend in the first place, I doubt the friendship would be jeopardized. Taking things slow should prevent that from happening.
Go for it. Otherwise you'll probably go the rest of your life wondering what would have happened.