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Family, Youth and Mental Health CounsellorAge:
31Member Since:
July 13, 2006Answers:
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about
Hello All, I am counsellor with over 12 years experience specializing in parenting, families, youth and mental health. I answer questions in a blunt and straightforward way so if you are looking for coddling or really touchy feely type advice thats not me I provide real solutions for your problems and concrete suggestions in other words I tell you the plain truth I don't sugarcoat.
I am really worried these days with the easy access to the internet and all the false information that is out there and the fact that people believe it!! So please ask first. I don't claim to have all the answers but I can claim that NOTHING will shock me you can try though :)
I look forward to hearing you thoughts and questions.
advice
I know from scabs and cuts that I get scars all the time.. Is there anything I can use (cream) to put on these cuts/scrapes that will reduce the scarring or hopefully leave no scar at all?
Ill rate high...please respond fast =/
thanks a tonnnn
A lot of the time the reason for scaring is because of scratching or infections. I find that using anticbacterial cream/ointment like polysporin twice a day and then using vitamin E cream right before bed reduces the chances of getting a scar keep it well moistorized and stay out of the sun.
Hope this helps
I really need a better room cleaning strategey. Does anybody have anytips on better ways to clean my room and keep it clean. everything just seems so overwhelming when it gets messy and then I just dont know where to start.
Anything would be helpful.
I liked Amanda's ideas for cleaning after the mess, if your like me though you also want to know how to avoid having such a huge clean up in the first place. I personally used to live like a slob and it would take hours and hours to clean it was a huge waste of a good weekend! What I do now, and I'll be honest its because my husband doesn't like a mess, is assign myself a different day to do different things in my room for example on Mondays I dust, Tuesdays I change my bedding, Wednesdays I pick the clothes up off the floor, on and on, make sure that you only put one little thing a night so that it takes maybe 20 minutes.
Hope this helps.
I work with these two girls. Laura and michelle. Laura has been working there for 5 years & works full time. michelle has been there for 2 months & work part time. A month ago laura asked if she can get promotoed to shift supervisor & the store manager said you would have to drop the full time and go to part time. So she said no way. The store manager Then asked michelle if she would like to be Shift supervisor & she took the promotion.
Laura went to another manager and asked why she would have to go to part time and the manager said thats not true.
I was talking to michelle and asked why didnt Laura get the promotion since she has been here longer & she told me that the store manager said shes to slow and doesnt get the job done on time and doesnt believe she has what it takes to be a shift supervisor.
I'm the only one that knows why laura didnt get the promotion. And i feel really guilty because im keeping it from her. Question is should i tell her or just keep it from her?
thank you.
Ok I see your problem, but here is what I see Michelle told you this not the manager who offered her the job. So its heresay, in other words it might not be 100% true. Also there may be some "history" between the manager and Laura they could have had a disagreement years ago the manager could simply not like her for some reason and could have lied to Michelle about the reasoning.
I think that if it were true about Laura being slow and not getting the job done the other manager would have noticed it and also she would probably not have lasted 5 years in the same job. By telling Laura you would probably not only hurt her but could create a huge issue at work with you at the center starting it.
I think what you should do is encourage Laura to find out why herself, tell her she should talk to the manager who told her to go part time and see what he says. That way you are not breaking a confidence or starting a problem.
Hope this helps.
whats the song called where the main chorus is like "i like big butts and i can not lie, all the.. can not deny.." or something like that, and how does the main chorus go??
The song is "Baby got Back" by Sir-Mix-A-Lot
There is no "main" chorus below is a link with the correct lyrics.
http://www.lyricsstyle.com/s/sirmixalot/babygotback.html
Hope this helps.
if you took a pregnancy test and it came out positve can you still have your period every month or does it mean you lost the baby
Ok first of all you can have a false positive on a home pregnancy test, the people telling you this is impossible are wrong. Secondly you can have your period during pregnancy it is not really really rare it happens more often then people know. Below is a website that should answer or provide links to the answers you need.
Also the only pregnancy test that can't be a false positive is the blood test your doctor gives you. I would suggest if you think you are pregnant that you start pre-natal care right away.
i work with this girl that is leaving for college in about 2 weeks. Shes been working in this store for a year and a half. She doesnt do anything that actually helps the store out because she leaves it for everyone else to.
Im a senior and im staying at my job. Shes telling me and everyone else that after college lets out for the summer next year she is coming back and they are hiring her back and shes going to be gettting a promotion.
Now i really dont think she deserves to come back and get a job right away nor a promotion.
What can i do to make sure this girl does not get her job back? Or should i should let it go?
You will find in pretty much every single job you have there is one person who does nothing and gets rewarded for it. I wouldn't worry about her coming back next summer or getting a promotion she could be all talk and even if she is telling the truth alot can and does happen in a year. Eventually she will screw up and get caught, you pointing out that she is a lazy useless person will only make you look like you are jealous (which your not).
It sucks but these people self destruct sooner or later.
during the day im realy bored. around here there is a basketball court but thats it. im trying to find something to do!!! inside or out. thankx.
Ok well I don't know if you live in a big city or not but if you do I would explore (with parental ok if thats an issue) try museums, different malls, most cities and towns have websites with stuff to do that is both free and not. Indoors there are tons of games and websites, pick up a new hobbie like cooking, read a good book, rent a bunch of movies and veg out for the day. I am not sure what your intersts are but hope this helps.
okay i live with my mom only && i`m an only child . but sometimes she dopesnt trust me . and i really wanna hang out with this boy i like and my friend will be there with me of course but i dont know how to ask her ! but i think she will let me if she knows my friend is with me bc i wouldnt hang oiut with him alone . any suggestions on how to ask her?? asnwer quick thanks
Your mom will appreciate it if you are honest and ask her straight out. Just say "hey mom can I go hang out with (your friend) this guy so and so will be there but I will be with (your friend) the whole time.
She may still say no but she will start trusting you more and more the more honest and open you are with her.
Hope this helps
Hi,
For a long time in my life I've felt like people just can't tell me the truth about things. Whether it's my family, friends, people at businesses, or just some random person I meet on the street. I feel like everyone is afraid to tell me the truth because they either think I can't handle it or I'll get angry and upset. Do they feel ashamed to admit something to me? I can handle it when I'm told the raw truth about something, even if it's something that could potentially hurt me. But perhaps I'm not showing people that I want to hear the truth. Is there a way I can let people know that they can be honest with me and I'm not going to be angry with them if they are? Also how do I let them know without saying "I think you are lying. Go on, tell me the truth".
Any kind of remotely helpful advice would be apreaciated. Thanks!
Ok your question is a little vague it would help if you gave an example. I have found though that if you are blunt and honest with people they will do the same for you. If I feel that people are holding out on me or not telling the truth I usually say I feel like there is another reason/something your not telling me. I prefer it if you just laid out all the facts for me, I am not one to get angry at the truth.
I find this works for me, is there something about you that people think your fragile? If so then try to "toughen" up your image by asking outright questions in a blunt way.
Hope this helps
So i want to go to the movies on friday with my best friend and a guy friend. i asked my mom and she said to ask my dad and my dad says no because he doesnt want me going with guys. but the problem is, i really, really want to go because my crush might be there. and i really want to spend time with him before schol starts. what do i do to make my parents maybe think it over? thanks =)
13/f
I would not lie, only because if you are right and your parents don't trust you they could "spy" on you at the movies, also parents are not dumb even if you say no guys will be there now they are not going to buy that. Also if you lie and get caught they will def. not trust you.
I would talk to your mom, tell her that you are going with friends - yes a guy will be there but you are not dating him, do NOT mention that your crush will be there (thats not lying because you don't know for sure) ask her to talk to your dad because you don't understand why you are not allowed to be friends with guys. This will make her think and she will probably talk to your dad.
If the answer is still no then I would make arrangements to go to the movies another time (maybe the next day) and go with girlfriends so your parents have no excuse to say no.
Hope this helped
Hey,
Im 14 years old snf live in England and so can only get what is available there but I have a slightly freckly, grease/shine prone, pale-ish face and I want a foundation under £7 that :
1. looks matte
2. looks natural
3. sort of evens out skin tone and sort of covers freckles
4. Not a powder
5. doesn't look orange
6. Makes skin texture look smooth
Is there any that you could recommend?
Ive tried Maybelline Matte Mousse but the colours dont match my face exactly and sometimes I look orange with the palest colour on.
ty in advance luv Rachel xxx
I lived in Ireland for a while and I found the Rimal creamy foundation that comes in a compact but is not a powder worked best, it hid my freckles and was not orange (I am really pale so I would notice!) Sorry I can't think of the specific name but go to the chemist (Boots has it) or to any dept. store. Its also not that expensive.
this is a serious question. it may be sort of sick, so don't read on if you don't like things related to.. vomit, sort of.
so sometimes i wake up or whatever and feel like there is this thing stuck in my throat. i put my finger down it to see what might be there. sometimes i can take these little cube thingies out. i can sometimes just cough it out too. the cubes are usually umm pinkish, maybe flesh or yellow colored. what are they and why are they there? they are smelly, of course. and my breath is a lot better when they get taken out, i think. thanks people.
If you sleep with your mouth open you inhale and swallow things while you sleep. I know it sounds gross but the average person swallows like 4 spiders a year while they sleep (I read an article on it a while a go) so it could be just dust and stuff. I would gargle with scope/listerne right before bed and when you get up and see if it helps I would also mention it to your dr. when you see him next I wouldn't go just for this but I would mention it when possible.
Hope this helps.
Ok i have a job interview and it's the first one i have ever had i need help i have no clue what to expect...if anyone has ?'s they might ask and what to wear...by the way it's to work at a coffee shop.
Xenolan's answer was awesome the only thing I would add is that another common question is where do you see yourself in 5 years, don't say working there full time, coffee shops aren't looking for an employee to work there until they retire talk about your future goals, graduating, career what you hope to be etc... as for the question about the irate/pain in the ass customer remember the customer is always right and appeasing them is important. I usually say to someone who is a pain "What I hear you saying is....let me help you by replacing/fixing what was wrong. Also if you don't know an answer or don't understand the question ask the interviewer to explain what he means this shows that you are willing to learn.
ok so i have this boyfriend. weve been together for almost 11 months. My dad is in the navy so we will be moving soon. We've been getting into a lot of fights latley, like we never did before but they have just been coming one after the other. The most recent one is about this other girl that he let her wear his sweatshirt (this girl talks meanie stuff about me btw) even after one of my good friends told him not to and that i'd get mad. he didnt even tell me and when i mentioned it he got mad. So im wondering why is he getting mad like this?
Its hard for guys to express themselves especially teenage boys. For him it is probably easier to push you away and leave angry then to say goodbye on good terms. He is probably not doing it on purpose.
As for the other girl she is probably just taking advantage of the situation, so try and ignore it and make the most of the time you have left together.
Is it supposed to kill?
hes not getting past the hymen because it just kills. And the hymen itself kills.
I tried getting a tampon in ...even that hurts in the same way
Is there a physical problem...i mean this is too painful for it to feel normal
There could be a problem. Some women have extremely thick/strong hymens and need a doctor to break it for them. I would suggest that you go see your dr. and talk with her/him about it.
It's not supposed to hurt that much, and it only hurts for a second. As for tampons that should not hurt it may be uncomfortable but not painful.
Feel free to ask any other questions you have.
I have been on a diet (well kind of...sometimes i give in to cravings) for about 2 weeks..which is not long at all i know. My problem is...I dont like the taste of healthy foods, my favorite foods that i always want are among the most unhealthy foods! I was wondering if anyone has advice on some healthy foods that taste good and also ways to control cravings.
I was like you and didn't like the taste of healthy foods at all, so what I did was integrate them slowly into my diet. Also you may just be yearning for something "junky" so you could try setting aside one day every 2 weeks or so to have a few of your favorite foods. There are tons of healthier junk foods too if you are dying for chocolate there are slimfast chocolate bars, atkins ones, and lots more. Also popcorn without tons of butter is not that bad for you. if you want to eat veggies use dip, but low fat/low calorie ones.
Hope this helps
How can I say this ..... hhmmmm .... ummm how can I run away i want to run away i dont like my family I know were im gona go im going to my boyfriends house if I run away and my parents dont know were he lives so thats good .... but how can i run away without my parents knowing ? Cuz i got caught once so i dont want to get caught again ??...
thanks.
-xoxox Vanessa
Even if your parents don't know where your boyfriend lives they probably know his name or you have a friend that does, the police will find you. I have been working with teens for years and have yet to see one who can not be found eventually. If things are that bad at home, if something is going on then talk to another adult if there is no one you trust then call your local child protection agency they would rather see you safe away from home then running away.
If you want someone to listen then please let me know anytime.
I hate even having to say this because one thing I'm terrified of is sounding self centered. My friends and people I don't even know tell me I have a good voice. I love to sing and I think it's what I want to do with my life. Alright, I admit I'm okay. But does anyone know how I can get involved in the music business or have a number I can call or anything? Thanks =]
Hey,
Its not easy to break into "the biz" your best bet if you don't want to do those american idol or talent type shows is to join a band. If you want to go to american idol or a talent show do not get an agent as most of those shows will not allow you to enter if you have one. Scouts don't go to high school shows, but if you are in a band they may see you perform. If you are under 21 then you can still do gigs in public just not in bars.
That would be my advice, also if you are really serious then I would suggest you start getting lessons to learn how to control your breathing and so that you can make the most of your voice.
Good luck
if you have sex and use a condom what are your chances of getting pregnant or std's? is there a certain time during the month where you're more likely to become pregnent?
There is always a risk as condoms break. The only safe sex they say is no sex....lol.
As for getting pregnant a women has only a few days a month when she can get pregnant. 2 weeks after the first day of your period you ovulate, the time a women gets pregnant is right before there are tons of web sites where they have ovulation calculators and can tell you when your highest chance of getting pregnant is. Keep in mind though that sperm can live approx. 3 days inside you so you can still get pregnant that way.
Hope this helps.
alright... soo. A couple of months ago my mom`s boyfriend let me put my mom's $400+ computer desk in my room. I always ruin things and i told him i wasn't sure if my mom would really want me to put it in there. So he was like just put it in your room. My mom said i could use but not long.. Everything was going fine except like a month ago i had the door on the side of the computer desk like a foot open to let the deck of the computer breath and then i went to get up real quick and bumped my knee in it.. i didnt notice till later when it was broken!!! ahh just the top part where it holds the door is broken it cracked right at the part where nails go in and i seriously cried. i dont think i can repair it myself. but the worse part is ive been hiding it from my mom and everytime she goes in my room i make sure she doesn't see it or i stand in front of it. it gets worse.. my mom asked a couple days ago if she could have her computer desk back and she'd get me a new one.. i was like ooh i dont feel like taking everything apart and stuff. and she was like ok well i wanna do it soon. im so scared to tell her. she'll ground me and get really mad at me. i mean me and my mom are like best friends and she knows i can be clumsy and ruin things. but its an expensive desk. =/ like a year ago the keyboard part broke off when it was in the computer room and my mom was going to get a piece for it or just return it and never did. i mean the computer desk is a piece of crap too. i cant ask my moms boyfriend for help because he is strick and mean and will completely ruin it for me. my questions are how should i tell her? should i just let her see it herself eventually or confess soon? :/ what are some good topics to tell her.. thank you for giving advice. i hope someone can help..
Hey tell her as soon as you can. It is much better then her finding it on her own. If she finds it on her own she will think that you were being sneaky and lying. I know it sucks but if you explain what happened I am sure she will understand. She may be annoyed but I don't think she will be all that angry. You said she knows you can be clumsy (I am too by the way) so its not like this is way out of left field.
Also suggest to her that she tries using wood glue to fix where the nail/screw go I broke my coffee table where the nail went in and the wood split, the glue fixed it and I was able to put another nail in. Make sure it is wood glue though and not any other kind.
Good Luck, hope this helps.