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Why can't I be told the truth?
Hi,
For a long time in my life I've felt like people just can't tell me the truth about things. Whether it's my family, friends, people at businesses, or just some random person I meet on the street. I feel like everyone is afraid to tell me the truth because they either think I can't handle it or I'll get angry and upset. Do they feel ashamed to admit something to me? I can handle it when I'm told the raw truth about something, even if it's something that could potentially hurt me. But perhaps I'm not showing people that I want to hear the truth. Is there a way I can let people know that they can be honest with me and I'm not going to be angry with them if they are? Also how do I let them know without saying "I think you are lying. Go on, tell me the truth".
Any kind of remotely helpful advice would be apreaciated. Thanks!
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Maybe give some free advice about: Random Weirdos?
Have you noticed that the few people who are blatantly honest are always deemed "bitches" and "asshats"? Honesty is something that is difficult for a lot of people to deal with. Generally speaking, people are frightened of the truth. I'm sure it's not you. I'm sure it's the general public. With that being said, all you can do is be honest, which would result in you telling all of the dishonests that they need to be truthful. Start treating people the way you want to be treated (whoa. that was a little too cliche, wasn't it?), and hopefully some of your honesty will rub off on them. I do apologize for the vague answer but it's hard to be specific with a topic that is as broad as general honesty.
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Why can't you be told the truth? You just answered your own question. The problem is not with everyone else, but with you. The truth is more dangerous for our illusions than anything else, but some of our illusions are self-serving. Why do you think that everyone is afraid to tell you the truth? Should they be? Do you put off a calm vibe or a confrontational one? Are you fishing for the truth, or are you putting out bait for something else? What do you want to hear?
More importantly you have to understand a couple things about the truth. Number One: There is no such thing as THE truth. There are only opinions. Number Two: No one owes you or is obligated to tell you their every opinion or truth as they see it, about you or anything else. Number Three: "The truth will set you free"...okay, free from what? Your truth will set you free from your own misconceptions.
In conclusion, you need to first ask yourself if you can handle "the truth" and let everyone else handle it their own way. Maybe someone is telling you the truth, but you don't like it. You can't obtain what you don't already own. If the truth is not in you, then you can't get it elsewhere. Most of the time we just want to hear validations of our own opinions, because it feels good to be right. If someone disagrees with you about the truth, don't dismiss it right away...consider it. Truth is a process, not an answer.
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If you feel like someone isn't giving you the whole truth, you should be straight up and ask them to be totally honest, but don't say something like, "You're lying." Phrase it as a question, not an accusation, like, "Are you telling me the complete truth?" Explain to the person that sometimes you feel that he or she isn't being honest with you, and that you would rather know the truth. But if the person you're speaking to insists that they aren't lying, then you have to accept that. It is possible that they are being honest.
I hope I've helped :)
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Ok your question is a little vague it would help if you gave an example. I have found though that if you are blunt and honest with people they will do the same for you. If I feel that people are holding out on me or not telling the truth I usually say I feel like there is another reason/something your not telling me. I prefer it if you just laid out all the facts for me, I am not one to get angry at the truth.
I find this works for me, is there something about you that people think your fragile? If so then try to "toughen" up your image by asking outright questions in a blunt way.
Hope this helps
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