I'm a 38 year old psychologist living in Nashville, Tennessee. Until shortly over a year ago, I hosted a radio/tv talk show. At the moment, I'm amid plans to start a new one called, " One Man's Opinion". It's a radio show FOR women, ABOUT men, BY a man.
Seeing that alot of issues are age-related, please state your age when posing a question.
E-mail: cmclinphd@hotmail.com
Gender: Male
Location: Nashville, Tennessee
Occupation: Psychologist
Age: 38
Member Since: November 30, 2003
Answers: 349
Last Update: September 15, 2009
Visitors: 28393
Main Categories:
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I clicked their names ask them a question and all fo a sudden it appears int he public, im so madd! (link)
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If you want tp talk about something privately, feel free to use my personal e mail. It won't be made public. Anytime.
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I like this kid named Orlando...I just look at him and I melt. But the thing is, I've never ever talked to him before, and he's never talked to me before and I'm so confused because I don't think it's just a crush, and he is just so cute and funny from what I've seen from him.
In the beginning of the day at school all the students have to go into the cafeteria because classes didn't start yet...and usually I walk in and only him and his friend are there and he looks at who came into the caferteria and I feel like I'm gonna trip or something because his stare catches me off guard....
As you can tell...I like this kid, and my mom works for the Board Of Ed in that particular city, and she lets me do some extra help with her work and she pays me for it. Well, since he goes to the school in the city my mom works for, one day when i was doing a job I came across his address. So my question is, do you think it would be like I'm stalking him or something if I write him a letter just saying how I felt about it...because I'm only going to write it when this school year is over so if anything happens I'm not there. (I know..but I'm shy and I feel like this is the only way I could do it) If I explain to him in the letter that I'm that girl (because he's seen me before, and noticed me) then do you think this is a good idea? Please help me...I really want him to know, but I'm extremely shy.
I'm very sorry for the length, but Im desperate. (link)
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I know this is going to be hard, but I would suggest you try and talk to him instead of writing a letter. The fact that you make use of something so personal as someone's address without their permission COULD give him the worng impression. You asked if it would be "like stalking". That tells you that if YOU could think that way, then maybe he could, as well. Talking to him may have to be something you may have to work up to, and that's understandable. But, keep in mind that you don't have to tell him your feelings right away. Why don't you try to ask his opinion on something or simply ask him to help you do something and let it go from there. You might find that the conversation flows alot easier than you thought. Good luck. It's going to be hard, but I think you can....and will do it.
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i need to think of some good cheap ways to stay warm on a camping trip this weekend. it's gonna be really freaking cold, and I don't want to buy and expensive -80 degree sleeping bag because i don't go camping all that often, but i'm afraid i'm going to freeze to death. what should i bring to keep me really warm? i know about wool but are there other really good fabrics to be sure to wear? (link)
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Anything flannel works really well and it's also very inexpensive. A sleeping bag doesnt have to be very expensive to do the job. It works by trapping in the body heat of the person inside and using it keep the body warm, so I wouldn't worry about spending so much money on one. But as far as the apparel goes, I would shoot for either flannel, or anything "thermal".
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Ok. I'm going to go to a murder mystery dinner party thing, and I have no idea how to play. Could someone briefly explain how you play? I'm worried I'll make a complete fool of myself and ruin the game... (link)
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No, it's almost impossible to. they create these so that those who never attended will have as much fun as possible. You'll probably be seated. During dinner, someone may be "murdered". At that point, you could be assigned a role to play, along with several others and it's up to you all to solve the murder. It's really fun for those that enjoy such things and I think you will absolutely love it. Do tell more afterwards.
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I am a fast runner you see and I got asked to run this thing called the turkeytrot, but Iave to run in front of the whole school. I am araid of getting lastplace should I still run? (link)
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Sure....and let that fear of coming in last drive you to do even better than you thought you could.
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For the past 3 months I have had a sort of half-period. Absolutely nothing that I am used to. Before that, I just didn't get one at all for 2 months. Its very strange and somewhat concerning but I'd rather not go to the doctors if I have nothing to worry about. Help? (link)
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There may be nothing to worry about but to be sure and for confirmantion: call your doctor and make an appointment. There are several factors that may be contributing to your situation, among them:increased level of stress, pre menopause, or a sudden increase in your exercise routine. Still my best advice is to see a gynecologist.
love and love, chance jr
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Okay, so I have this friend who is gay. And he really wants to tell his parents, they said they'd love him not matter what, but also, they don't approve of gays too much. I'm thinking of talking to them myself, but then he might get mad at me. So I really don't know what I should do, or what he should do actually. I told him to wait until he moves out to tell them, but he said he might feel guilty for doing that, letting them think that he was straight for 18 years or so.. then all of a sudden breaking the news. What should I do? Talk to his parents for him, or just leave it to him? And if I leave it up to him, can you give any advice for me to tell him? Thanks! (link)
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First of all that should be something that he and he alone should deal with. You can be there for him when he decides to, but as far as talking to his parents, not only is it a betrayal of trust, but you really don't have all the necessary information to give adequate answers.
As for him waiting to move out before he tells them, what difference will it make if he lets them believe he's been straight for ten years or twenty. The difference is minute and is not of that much consequence. Continue to tell him that he should reveal it when he feels completely comfortable doing so.
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What do you do if everyone you thought was your friend suddenly turns their back on you? (link)
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I'd take another look at it and see if I'M actually turning my back on THEM. Sometimes the situations can be skewed to the point that we fail to realize that when there are more than one or two people taking what appears to be th same course of action, that it may be the same catalyst driving it all, and sometimes, that catalyst may be us. If that's not the case, try and sit down with those that you feel you can, and explain to them what you're feeling and see if there's any validity to it or if you're seeing something that's not really there. in any case, they'll be aware of your feelings and maybe that alone will be enough for them to show you that you AREN'T really as alone as you think you are.
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I like this guy... and i have told him that i like him and hes sooo nice to me but he hasnt told me if he likes me... so i want to kno and i dont wanna scare him i just wanna become more than a friend to him what should i do? Should i harass him until he tells me? ASk his Best friend? jsut leave it alone??? TY (link)
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Asking his best friend is always a good move. That way, not only will you find out what you need to know, but, you can be assured that he'll tell him that you asked and if he likes you, then that will help him to make the move in letting you know. He may just be holding back because he's afraid of being the on to step out on the limb and risk getting rejected.
You can also look for other, non-verbal clues tha he may be interested. Does he ask alot about you? Take any opportunity he can to strike up a conversation? Does he often stare at you and smile sheepishly when you catch him? Things like this can be a good indicator that his interest in you.
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I like him and he ignores me now after i told him that i like him. Why does he ignore me now? (link)
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I don't know. That could be a number of things. First, it may be that your telling him this has made him uncomfortabel and he doesn't know how to react to you now. He may be afraid of what move to make next and instead of telling you this, is distancing himself until he can figure it out. It may also be that he may not feel the way you do. As opposed to hurting your feelings by telling you, he may feel that if he just stays away, you'll lose interest and move on.
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ok here we go:
my boyfriend told me I don't kiss him back
the problem is he's really aggressive with the kissing and I like can't move my lips
well scratch that
I have no idea what I'm doing.he's the first person I've kissed and gahh I'm so insecure now about my kissing. someone help me..
what do I say to him and how can we solve this problem??
thank you =) (link)
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tell him exactly what you've shared with us. infrom him that he is the first person you've kissed and that you'd like to learn the way HE likes to be kissed. I'm sure he'll really appreciate it and be more than willing to help you to get better at what it is that you feel you may be lacking. t
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Ok this is going to be a semi-novel but I'll try to make sense. I'm 15 and at the beginning of September I met a guy(whom we'll call Bob).We were friends for a little over a month,and around the middle of October we kissed for the first time;he asked me out very soon afterword.our mutual friends had been bugging Bob to ask me out because it was obvious he liked me.He made the announcement to our them that he asked me out and it was understood that we were a couple.so from that day on, tho we never went anywhere(lack of money and transportation played a major role )but we still managed to kiss at every opportunity(including behind the school at lunch)and took every opportunity we could to be together. One day, we were talking and I mentioned that a friend of mine who(that I have known since childhood was jealous)that we're a couple; he says "well you know, i only see us as friends and plus there's this girl i'm interested in.she lives in maryland" and I go "but i'm here.she's there and I'm here" and he goes "well I've known her since july.plus i helped her through a serious breakup..." and I go "so why did you ask me out?why do you kiss me if we're only friends?" he goes "I don't know" so we weren't talking much for about a week and then suddenly we started up with our old routines. We have been doing this everyday since. My friends tell me that I need to get rid of him. Should I? Thanks… (link)
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Yes....it's that simple. He's using you to fill in for his "like" when she's in another state. He's not worthy of you or your time. Move on and find someone who can give you what you need and be what you desire.
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Once upon a time... I thought I had a really great friend. She and I really spent lots of time together after we graduated from university, we majored in the same programs. One night we went together to a bar, not to pick up guys but just to have a girls night out. During our girls night out she left me at the bar to dance with a guy she met (yes so much for girls night out). I had a drink with me but kept looking at the dance floor over my shoulder to make sure my friend was doing okay since the guy she was dancing with had had quite a bit to drink. I suppose that while I frequently turned to look over my shoulder a man that had been next to me (whose face I cannot remember or recall)had slipped the Date Rape drug into my drink. Now do not get me wrong I'm not a dumb woman, I would never get up and leave my drink and then come back to it, but it must have happened so quickly, just as I glanced behind me. I woke up the next day alone on the couch of a house I had never been to before. I was loosely dressed and can remember only having been at the bar and then waking up. I remember nothing of what had happened that night. I immediately ran out of the house and asked someone what street I was on. When I found that I was only a 20 minute walk from my apartment I snuck quietly back inside the house and tried to find my purse and cell phone. I managed to find my purse but all my money, credit card (luckily maxed right out) and cell phone were gone. I left without them because I was very frightened being where I was. I went home. I went to the hospital later after having discovered differences in myself. I feared the worst and I was correct. I was given a rape test and they found traces of the drug in my body.
I had been raped and knew nothing and remembered nothing. It was almost better that way. The only problem was that I could not remember the man who had been sitting next to me at the bar. I called my friend hoping she could help to identify the man. She immediately told me that she didn't value our friendship anymore because I had deliberately left her at the bar, and as she claims 'and being an embarassment since I was acting so slutty'. I told her about not remembering anything and she called me a liar. I told her that her opinion of me didn't matter, all I needed was to know the name or a description of the man I left with and then I would leave her alone forever if I had to. SHe told me she would have no part in my lies, claiming that she didn't want to be responsible for an innocent man being prosecuted just because "I wanted the attention".
I guarantee you, with the hospital results to support me, that I was in fact raped without remembering.
She continued to spread the rumour that I was a liar and when I had the police contact her she claimed to have never been there with me at all.
All that I wanted was for this man to be brought to justice and that he be unable to destroy someone else's life the way he destroyed mine.
I was never able to positively identify the man and my case remains considered unsolved. Those others in the club told the police that they saw nothing, I'm not really sure if they did or not and the only other person I knew in the bar was my friend.
This incident happened 3 years ago and since I have been able to recover and return to a somewhat normalcy. However, recently (within the past few months) this girl has been leaving messages at my house and work for me to call her. Finally I called hoping she had wished to tell me something she knew or reconcile things between us.
Our conversation over the phone consisted of her telling me that she knew the name and address of the man who raped me, but she still refused to tell me. Saying that she wants me to pay her money or else she will tell me nothing. I'm almost ready to pay her, I want to punish this man so badly. The poeple I have consulted about this told me that she could be prosecuted if I were to tell the police. But I know that if I have her charged or arrested that I will lose all hope of knowing this mans identity, she would never tell me anything if I am responsible for damaging her record.
My question to you is what do I do now? Should I press charges and hope that she will give up the information she knows? Or perhaps should I pay her what she wants and finally get closure? (link)
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What should you do? First, you don't have to "guarantee me" or anyone else that it really happened. I've seen more than my fair share of such occurences and my heart goes out to you.
Now, as for your "friend". I think she's found herself on hard times and deperately in need of money. I really want to ask if she is doing drugs. Usually, someone in that position will capitalize on ANYTHING that will afford them the money needed to get what they need. At any rate, she has now hosen to play upon your desires to know the truth * covers mouth and coughs "bitch" * I'm sorry, did I say that out loud? Anyway, I think the best thing to do would be to just walk away. I know it may seem tempting to file a complaint against her, but in our fervor, we sometimes have the tendency to forget the basics. In this case it's simple. You call the police, file a complaint and they go to her. What's her response..., " I didn't say I knew who it was" and it's dropped as quickly as it was started. Not to mention that adds even more to your frustration. IF you can get her on tape ( NOT over the phone, that's against the law ) or a witness that she said she knew, THEN go to the police. In a major crime like rape, I'm sure they would charge her with obstruction of justice should she fail to tell them what she knows. But once again, if you can't get evidence, I'd leave it AND HER alone.
Good luck. God be with you.
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I wanted to work on a new look for the new year, I've been thinking about punk, not being way over board. . but adding my own looks, mixing and matching I don't want to be noticed, but I want some say in what I wear. . . For the past years I dressed to impress, now its time for a change. . . IM gunna be dressed cuz I feel like wearing w/e the heck I want! I love the color black. . and fire is pretty, but I wouldnt cal myself a pyro, cuz I dont really love fire. . There r ups and downs. . about fire ya know, And I feel depressed and silenced, and I write poems and write lyrics for songs. . Is that like gothy??? I mena The goth style is pretty nice, but I dont want to be a goth. . Iw ant to be maybe a skater punk. . or something. CAn you give me advice for this problem?? *I dont care what my friends think. . IM gunna chnage even if they dotn wnat me to, not my personality. . just my clothes. .why would they care right??* (link)
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True...why would they care. The better question, however...is why do YOU care? You mentioned you like the goth look. Do you like the goth because you like the look, or do you think you should like it because you feel a certain way? If you truly like the look, then the question's answered. Good luck.
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Me and my boyfriend have been going out for like almost 2 years and we want to have sex but i am a Virgin and i dont know how it would fell can i get some advice explain how it fells and what i should do (link)
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Hmmm sorry...can't answer that for you. Different people have different sensations the first time. It depends on several factors. Most women express pain when having sex for the first time. Some, who have been more physically active, sports, cheerleading, etc., etc., may have torn their hymen during those activities and may experience very little to no pain.
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This guy at my school has a big crush on me. He's the type who goofs off and tries to get laughs from everybody, so of course he makes it nice and obvious to every single person in my school that he likes me. Don't get me wrong, he's a good guy. But I really don't like him back. I can understand, I've been in his situation, but when I was told the guy didn't like me, I shut up. And I hadn't said anything before that. But it's real torture, and you should have heard the whole class laughing at me when the teacher unwittingly picked us for partners on a long project. It's awful. I've presented this to him, and I can tell he's trying, but he can't stop, even though I kind of swallowed my crush when this happened to me. This might even be something that would relate to us not getting along as an item, plus I'm not ready for a b/f. But nevermind. Anybody have some advice about how to make him hold off? or something??? (link)
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Yes...tell him that your "interraction" makes you feel guilty about your boyfriend ( insert name here ). He can be a guy from across town or just about anywehere just as long as you're sure he can't be found. And even if he is...who says it has to be YOUR ( insert name here )? Nothing drives away a man quicker than knowing that the object of his affection expends her affections elsewhere.
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Hi..you answered my question about my ex watching me. You said that I should flaunt it and make him realize what he's lost is far better than what he has now. And I was just wondering, if you had any ideas on how I should flaunt it? hehe. Thanks.
(link)
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I don't think I was the one that said you should flaunt it, but how about this...if he's watching you already....is there really any need to flaunt it? ;) I think he's realizing what he's missing already....THAT'S why he's watching you to begin with.
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Hey I am going out with this guy i like and then i have all these other guys i like and i want them to I really dont wanna break his heart cuz i love him to death But theres these other guys that i have been out with and they Like me and i like them to I love them what am i to do (link)
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Quit telling yourself that you "like" all of them. What you like is the attention, and probably couldn't bear to have some of it taken away. But nevertheless, you're going to have to make a decision. In the event that some of them find out what's going on and they all decide that they no longer wish to share your company. Then, my dear....YOU may be the one that's broken-hearted. Just decide which one offers the most of what it is you seek, and if you can tell yourself that a monogamous relationship is ok and believe it, then settle down and enjoy REALLY getting to know one man...instead of BARELY getting to know several.
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My boyfriend will not be getting me a chritmas gift this Christmas. I have already purchased his gift and given it to him because he needed it early (an expensive snowboarding coat). I am trying not to be upset. Times are tough, money's tight, the problem is he spent $200 on his mom's CD player, and bought his dad a forutne in hunting gear and we went out all weekend and he had no money problems then. Sunday we went shopping and he mentioned that he looked at his account and he's going to have to write a bad check so that he get his sister a gift. I told him not to worry about me, he says he's really sorry (he's really beating himself up over it) and that he'll get me something great the next paycheck, which won't be until January 5th. Am I being stupid and girly because my feelings are hurt? (link)
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No, not at all. We all like to know the imortance we have in the lives of those we care about. And although Christmas HAS become a bit commercialized, it still remains a good gauge by which we judge such importance. The fact that he spent so much on his parents is no big deal. They're his parents. But, I feel a bit suspect of his having to "write a bad check" for his sister. I don't know him and maybe his is...but that leads me to ask what is he going to do when he gets that "next paycheck"? If it was me, I would HAVE to take the money and pay off the check before firther costs incur, and I'd almost bet the Pope's last dollar that he will do the same. Nevertheless, he could've gotten you "something"...ANYTHING. It could have been something small and he could've always gotten you something else later. I'm sure the thought behind it would have carried you over until a later date. I also think he was banking on your saying not to worry about you. That's why the subject was broached in the first place. Now, I'm not saying he's not a good guy, or is not worth your time and that you should turn coat and run to the hills. I'm simply saying it's not too much for you to ask that you are shown your importance in his life. Whether it be by a a gift, card, flowers or hell, even a hand-written poem. Wait until the "next paycheck" before drawing any conclusions. I DO know that times ARE hard. Happy holidays.
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Does anyone know of a good leg exercise? Ever since I stopped taking gym classes, my legs have gotten out of shape. Would you know a good one for both weight loss and to get them back into semi-shape? Esp. for someone with not a lot of time or space? (link)
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The treadmill will get the excess off of them while squats and lunges are EXCELLENT for development.You can't do one without the other, you know? I think that should about do it.
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