I am an advice hound. I love to give advice, get advice, read advice columns. I love telling people what to do ; D
Truly, I have a love for people and an honest desire to see every individual excel and succeed in their personal lives, to shed themselves of as many burdens as possible and enjoy this strange and terrible and wonderful gift that is LIFE
Location: Los Angeles
Occupation: advice guru and life coach
Member Since: June 9, 2009
Answers: 900
Last Update: February 5, 2012
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So he is 33...I'm 22. I was very aware of the age difference when I begin to get interested. We come from the same set of friends, including the girl who he was previously dating (she is dating another guy and basically is off and on with that guy). He was always like a big brother to me...so it was weird when I began to have an attraction towards him. He is mature, has an insane work schedule and travels all over the country, he is dependable, and has opened me his entire life...yet, I feel so out of it. Our relationship is definitely not serious and he always talks about my future and how he imagines it and how I will end up with a "specific" type of guy. I can feel the connection with him but I can also feel how he misses her. I know I'm probably his rebound, and he is my boredom killer. So, what once consisted of casual encounters, has now developed into butterflies in my stomach...yes I'm falling for him. Would he be able to feel the same for me? Do 11yrs apart (age) tend to work? Should I stop it?
About a year n half ago I finished a 3 yr relationship, yes I do terribly miss my Ex and would get back with him in a heartbeat...but is not possible for me....So I understand his feelings for that girl and I try not get mad or jealous because I know how it feels. But for once, after dating many, I feel protected yet so vulnerable...what to do?!!! I know I have the answer but I'm just not wanting to see it...I don't know! (link)
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You obviously aren't totally comfortable with the whole situation. Your instincts are telling you this isn't an ideal connection and you may end up getting hurt. He is basically telling you he is on the rebound and doesn't view you as long term. You are basically saying the same thing. Yet, you seem to have a genuine attraction. The age difference isn't the issue right now. The real issue is the fact that you are both in love with other people but enjoy spending time together. This is a tough one. The way I see it, you have a couple of choices. Back off right away and go your separate ways. Spare yourself the eventual heartache of loving someone who loves someone else and who doesn't necessarily see you as a potential long term mate. OR play it by ear, go with the flow and see what happens. If you do that, you have to go into it with the understanding that he has already told you where he stands, basically. He's not very committal and possibly in love with the ex. But at least you'll know that up front and can go into it knowing it may not really work out for you. I guess it boils down to heartache now or heartache later. Only you can decide what you're up for and what you can handle. I wish you luck!
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Sorry if this is a 'TMI' question, but i need help! ok so yeserday I went to change my pad because im having my period. so i looked down at the pad and there was a huge chunk of crimson uterus lining in it, so i just threw it away but i have been wondering if this is abnormal at all because this has never happened to me before. . . i knowing i got my first period on friday the 13th in august of 2010 (yes i know. it wasnt too long ago) but something still tells me that this is kind of abnormal. . .any help would be greatly appreciated! thanx in advance! ^_^ (link)
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Yes, its normal. Just like your body sheds skin on the outside, it sort of does the same thing on the inside. Its just shedding dead skin and particles and even blood clots, the blood flow is how it all gets flushed out. Its called clotting. Its actually very healthy. Don't panic. You'll get used to it. Its fine, I promise.
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so im a 16 and i honestly think im depressed. Ive been thru alot of bad times starting with my mom passing away and i feel everything just keeps piling up. Dont take this as a teenager just trying to get happy pills but i honestly think im depressed. So the question is who would i go to to see if im actually depressed and if so what would happen then. I have no idea about how to go about this.PLEASE HELP! (link)
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Sounds like depression, real depression. I've been through the same thing and that's just how I was, up for days and feeling like everything is just closing in on me. First thing you need to do is make a doctor's appointment and tell the doctor everything you said here. He/she can help you get started in dealing with this. If you want to talk to someone, google 'depression help/hotlines' and see if there are sites or numbers in your area to contact for support. But really, go to the doctor. You are definitely struggling with depression, but the good news is, there's help. You don't have to stay this way, and you can find your way to a healthy, happy you... you're just going to have to do a little work. You can do it. I know you can. Call the doctor, and don't be shy. Its all confidential.
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we've been going out for about 2 1/2 years, give or take, (we've broken up and gotten back together quite a few times). we're both 18. started seeing eachother at 15. been friends since we were 14.
anyway. we've never had any huge issues, except the times we've broken up. those mistakes have been on my part, and i've learned from the past. but this time, he's the one causing problems. he barely calls me anymore. we can only hang out on weekends right now and he never makes an effort to see me. when we're together, everything is like its always been. we're fabulous when face to face, but after i leave his house i rarely talk to him, see him on occasion, but besides that i have no idea what is going on at his house or with his friends, let alone himself. he has a job but doesn't work on weekends. i'm unemployed. he lives about 5 minutes away by car so it wouldn't be difficult to come and see me.
i've tried to mention it to him a few times that i never hear from him, but it never changes anything. like i said, when we're face to face, everything is perfectly fine. its just when we're separated. i haven't told him yet that i'm having problems with him.
i've been thinking seriously about breaking up with him. i want to, but i don't want to. i'm sick of his bullshit but i still love him. i've been wanting to marry him since we were young and i still would love to but right now, things just aren't working out. what do you think i should do? should i tell him what i've been thinking about? should i just dump him? try to stay friends? anything helps! thanks. (link)
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Talk to him first. You may be surprised with what he has to say once you've been totally honest with him. If he doesn't see a problem then yes, break up with him. But give him a chance first. You haven't even told him what you're thinking yet! That's not really fair. Good luck.
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i have a problem. i get insanely jelous of everything and everyone. i cant stand when any of my friends are friends with my twin sister, or when my friends go out without me, or even when any of my friends have boyfriends or get with guys no matter who the guy is. and certian of my friends i get extra jelous and literly cry when they have other friends. i know i sound phyco but what do i do? please dont just say "learn to get over it" because its really not that easy. i need help. any ideas? (link)
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You're not jealous because you are hateful. You're jealous because you are insecure. You depend on other people to help you feel good about yourself, so when it seems like they are not paying enough attention to you or that they have more good things than you do, it makes you feel bad about yourself. Its really great that you understand this is a problem. That means you are ready to solve it. That is very mature of you. What you need to do is find ways to develop who you are, to become more confident in yourself. The more you like yourself and the more confident you are, the less you will compare yourself to other people or depend on others to make you feel worthy. You can start by figuring out what it is you like to do. what makes you happy. Hobbies, athletics, general interests. Then you find a way to do those things. Join groups at school (I'm assuming you're still in school), anything you like to do. Don't worry about how it looks to other people. If you like theater, join the theater club. If you like to read, find a book club to join. If you like to write, get a journal and start writing, take writing workshops, look online for writing groups. When you start pursuing your interests, you'll learn more about yourself and that will help you feel more confident. You'll also meet lots of new people with the same interests, and soon your social plans won't depend on your sister or a small group of people. If a friend you want to hang out with is busy, you won't have to sweat it because you will always have other things to do or other people to hang out with. When you become comfortable with yourself and who you are as a person, you won't have to worry about jealousy rearing its ugly head anymore. It will take time, you'll have setbacks, of course. We all do. But you can get over this, with a little effort. And you'll be better for it. And the other thing is, once you're feeling confident and really making good things happen in your life, OTHER people will actually be jealous of you! Good luck.
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my boyfriend and I were talking and we decided we're still in the honeymoon phase -- you know, still happy to see each other all the time and talk to each other often.
I'm just wondering, generally when is the honeymoon phase over? I would say about four months, but I could be totally off. What about for you advicenators? (link)
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I think your age matters. The younger you are, the shorter its going to be. Months. As you get older, when you begin a relationship that phase will last much longer.
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I have a so call boyfriend but i don't think me and him are actually going out,because 1 thing is i see him trying to flirt with a girl,me and this girl were friends but not no more because see talked about me and she is a backstabbing girl and anytime i have a boyfriend she is trying to flirt with him. And i asked him was going on with you and her and he said nothing. But i don't believe him, how do you know if a boy is cheating on you or not? (link)
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You already know.
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My 87-year-old mother is obsessed with my brother (we are all adopted) and has been ever since my birth. I am one of three children (the only girl) who was sexually abused by my adoptive father and sexually exploited by these two brothers. My mother has known this for years, but continues to cottle this 57-year-old brother (who lives with her still, doesn't work, mooches off her, steals from her, lies to her). Her home has been foreclosed, her car lost because of him and her weird desire to support him. Their grocery bill is over $200 a week because he sits there (pays NO bills) lives on unemployment while she struggles to buy food for him, her medicine and her cigs. The house is a sqalor, he does NOTHING to help clean up the house. He is an alcoholic. I have done for her all her life but she throws me under the bus if I try to do anything to change her weird living situation, and trust me, it's weird. Like they were married. She won't talk to me now because I wrote a letter to her doctor asking him to do an evaluation on her cognitive level to see if she is not thinking straight. Her bizarre behavior of late has me really puzzled, even more so than usual. Should I ex-communicate myself totally from this weird situation, it is extremely stressful and I have had problems all my life thanks to the abuse from the "family." (link)
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Yes... you have spent your whole life trying to win the approval of a woman who just isn't capable of being your mother. You've been used and exploited. Its time to start thinking about yourself. Your mother made her own choices. She's made her bed, now its time to let her lie in it. It may be difficult to watch her lose everything, but again, its her choice. Its time to walk away from this family. It can never be healthy to be constantly exposed to someone who has abused you over the years. You don't owe these people anything. Cut off contact and concentrate on your own life. If you're not already, seek counseling to help you cope with wreckage these people left in your life. And don't feel guilty. Enough is enough. I believe even the most awful experiences can be used for good, to help others, but you need to learn how to heal from this before you can help anyone, and healing starts with leaving these abusers (yes, your mother included) behind. good luck.
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18/f
my best friend has changed dramatically. Well first she had a severe eating disorder, and that's when everything went down hill. That was last year, and now she is really
really religious. Like we have this one friend, who yes sleeps around often, but I don't see how what she does behind closed doors affects me...and my best friend is like she's disgusting and I refuse to talk to her. And she wears all these cross neclaces and Rings that have crosses and stuff. She never used to be like this. She has many symptoms
of a shcrizophrenic (sorry, that's probably no where near spelled right, hopefully you know what I mean)
she is extremely judgemental of me, and is so prissy and anal. What should I do about her? Should I say something? (link)
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It doesn't sound like you like her very much anymore. Maybe its time to start spending more time with other people who enjoy you and your company.
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My parents have been heavily involved in anti-pornography movements and legislature since I was a teenager. I felt that they were somewhat obsessive and refused to talk about anything but "pro-family" issues-all day, every day. I became pregnant as a teen and was condemned and verbally abused by my father for this. I never really forgave him. Fast forward over 10 years-I walked in on my father masturbating and watching pornography in our home. He ran away and hid and I never mentioned it to anyone. It made me feel rageful. I wanted to tell my mom because I feel it is hypocritical for them to continue to condemn others while there is a dirty little secret going on. But I never did. I dont want to hurt her. Also, my father helps a lot with my children. He'd probably get mad and stop helping me. He would probably never talk to me again if I did such a thing. Not that it would really hurt my feelings. Most importantly, I have such conflicting views now on everything. Is everything my parents told me in life a lie? I am searching for truth...any advice? (link)
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No, everything is not a lie, but you are learning one universal truth - none of us are immune from sin or wrong-doing. Your father is only a hypocrite if he says porn is wrong for everyone else but himself. From his reaction, I gather he is VERY aware that what he was doing was wrong, and was embarrassed. The real issue here seems to be communication. You are afraid to talk openly and honestly with your parents and they don't seem to willing to be open with you either. The worst thing you can do is keep hiding this and pretending it doesn't affect you. I think you need to be brave and address this. You can approach it several ways - sit down privately with your mother first and tell her what you saw. Start by telling her you've always felt condemned and hurt by how they reacted to your pregnancy, then tell her what you saw your dad doing. Explain to her that it makes you feel like everything you were told was a lie, and you don't know how to feel. Or, you could sit down with both your parents and have that same conversation, or you could just approach your dad, alone first. The key to doing this is to do it when things are calm and normal. You don't bring this up during a fight, or when you're angry. As a matter of fact, wait for a day when you feel happy and content. This is a delicate situation and beginning the discussion in anger will only lead them to be defensive, and you won't get any good results from that. Your family deserves to know that you feel let down, and they also deserve the chance to be open with you about their own struggles. Being a parent yourself, I know you understand that its a struggle to always present yourself as the person you hope your children will become someday. We all fall short. We all disappoint. We all have secrets and shame that we don't care others to know about. You can break this cycle of secrecy and shame by being brave enough to face it, but face it carefully. I know your parents have hurt you unfairly, but don't forget that they have their own issues, they are just people, like you. They are not perfect (as much as they may try) and they experience shame and emabarrassment just like you do. And think about forgiving your dad for how he treated you. Not because he deserves it, but because if you don't, it will eat away at you until you become the bitter, angry person you swore you would never be. Unforgiveness is like drinking poison and hoping the other person dies. It can't happen over night, but with practice, you can learn to forgive, and you'll find a freedom in that. Trust me. Good luck to you. I wish you the best.
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If I had an abortion 5 months ago and realized it was the BIGGEST mistake EVER.. can i still get pregnant? (link)
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Many, many women don't realize how much they will regret an abortion until it is already done. Unfortunately, you found that out the hard way. Many women do go on to become pregnant again after an abortion. If you've had just one, you have a good chance of being healthy enough to have children one day in the future. The only way you'll know for sure is to have a follow up with your doctor. In the meantime, you need help and support to deal with the questions and emotions that arise from your abortion. Here is a website to get you started, they offer helpline, post-abortion counseling and stories of other women who have gone through the same thing. http://www.nationalhelpline.org/symptoms-of-post-abortion-trauma.html
This is more common than you know, and you are not alone.
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I am a 20 year old girl and extremely athletic. I have had a noticeably large appetite since 1st or 2nd grade, years before I took athletics seriously. These days I am hungry for 6000-7000 calories a day when training. On an off day my appetite is about the same, if I go two days off I will start to eat less going down to about 4500 calories. I have talked to sports nutritionists about this and they think it is very unusual. One tells my he has never known another athlete who is hungry for that many calories but some male athletes do force themselves to eat that much. I have been checked by two doctors one in high school and one in college. Neither found any problem with me or an explanation.
The only explanation I have been given was just an unusually fast metabolism or maybe that I really eat more than I need even though I manage to burn it off.
I want to find out what is going on. I don't really feel like anything is wrong with me but my appetite does seem abnormal and is sometimes even embarrassing - as when I stay with friends and seem to be trying to eat them out of house and home. All attempts to eat less have failed. When I eat less than my appetite dictates I eventually wind up ravenously hungry. I would like to know how common this is and what I can do about it. Athletics is part of it, but even as a child people thought my appetite was unusual, even though I was just eating what felt natural to me. (link)
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That is odd, but you've been checked out several times and nothing is wrong, physically. As long as your weight is healthy, the only problem here is embarrassment. I can totally understand that you feel embarrassed by how much you eat, sometimes. But you are going to have to learn to accept this about yourself. Just like your race or a disability or a birthmark, this is something you can't change. It is a part of you, so you have nothing to be ashamed of. People will ask questions and make comments. Its just going to be that way. But when they do, simply say you have an abnormal metabolism and leave it at that. Don't apologize or feel stupid. Look at it as informing people about a medical issue. I think once people get it, they'll accept it as normal. Learn to laugh at yourself too. A good sense of humor is the cure for a lot of heartache. As far as staying with friends, perhaps you can do something like bring extra groceries or offer to pay for the take out. Again, if people ask why, explain you have a weird metabolism that keeps you hungry pretty much all the time. People will find it strange at first, it is pretty strange. But then they'll accept it as a part of who you are and move on. And probably be totally jealous too! Don't apologize for this, or try to change it. As long as you're healthy, what's to feel bad about? As you say, you just do what comes naturally. How can doing what feels natural for your body be a bad thing? Stop punishing yourself and learn to love the way you're made. It may be different, but its also special. And special is always a good thing. Good luck.
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I've been with my boyfriend for 15 months. I'm a senior in high school, 17, and he's a freshman in college, 19.
Its gotten to a point where I can't bear the sight of him. I don't even want to Skype him because I don't want to bother feigning interest.
I have no idea what sparked this. I don't think I necessarily grew tired of HIM, but I found out more about him as the relationship went on that I grew to hate. He's cocky, conceited, and we want different things in the long run - he has a lot of family baggage involving a special needs sibling and he wants to live in the house he grew up in for the rest of his life; I want to marry young, him older; I don't think I could ever bear children (due to med. problems) and he inconsiderately said that "he couldn't marry a woman who couldn't bear him a child". And our overall level of communication does not match up.
Now as I'm writing this, its plain to see where breaking up would, in fact, be the smart and obvious move. But there are so many things about our relationship which I feel I would miss so much. I've seen him once a week almost every week for over a year - I feel like there'd be a major, lonely void there if I broke up with him. - I admittedly don't have a whoooole lot of friends. I have a few close ones, but not enough where I can make plans with different sets twice a weekend, every weekend. - Also we do have a few good times, when he's not pissing me off...
I think he was more mature than I was when we met - I was a young 16, he was just on the cusp of 18 - but now I think the tables have turned completely. He talks to me in a baby voice constantly and I can't stand it. When I calmly and casually confront him with minor issues he whines "nooo" in a baby voice. I want to smack him. And all he thinks about is schoolwork. I'm very studious also, but he hasn't found out how to balance work and play. ALL he talks about is schoolwork when he's at school - he has no fun at all. This is completely opposite from high school, when he did no schoolwork whatsoever.
Obviously this relationship sounds like a trainwreck, I'm not stupid, but I can't bring myself to break up with him. I wish it could just fade away. This is my first relationship and I don't know how to handle it. He hasn't actually done anything wrong, which would make me feel bad to break up with him. I'm also torn about whether to end it now or at the end of the summer, before college... or during college, after I scope out the guys... idk. I know its not fair to him because I'm not committed and I've been scoping out other guys for about 3 months. Any advice at all, or personal experience, would be greatly appreciated. Thanks :) (link)
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Well you've answered your own question. The only problem is, you don't want to feel like a jerk for breaking up with him. Sorry, that's unavoidable... you just have to be brave and do it. Its never pleasant to tell someone you've cared about that your feelings have changed, but that's life. You just have to accept the fact that you're going to feel bad and he's going to be hurt. And then it'll be done and you'll both move on in your lives. It doesn't make you a jerk and it doesn't make you a bad person. You're not mean. You're just growing up and your bf doesn't fit into your life anymore. Just do it and get it over with. You don't need to tell him everything you told us here (that might sound a little mean) but you can tell him your feelings have changed, you don't know why but they have, its just one of those things and you don't want to be in a relationship with him anymore. If he wants details, tell him sometimes there just isn't a reason. Life happens and people grow and change and you've changed. End of story. Good luck.
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okay, so i have been asked to join the swim team... but i am veryy! self concious about what my body will look like in a bathing suit!:( im okay about everything except for my boobs and my legs! i dont want people judging me . (because i know how some people are) :/ i have until tomorrow to decide! somebody... PLEASE HELP ME! tell me everyhting i need to know and about this issue..!:) (link)
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Someone told me this once - all the little things that you hate about yourself and wish you could change are actually the very things that other people find interesting about you. They make you who you are. You'll never be able to control what people think about you, but you can control what you think about yourself. So work on pushing your insecurities out of your mind when you put on that swimsuit and do what you do well, swim! Soon enough you'll get so used to being seen in that suit it'll feel like wearing regular clothes. Don't let your fear of judgment stop you from doing something you could be really good and successful at. Be brave! You won't regret it.
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18/f
im having the worst period pain ive ever experienced. i have been at my wits end trying to find something to ease the pain, i have been trying these pills the last couple of months but there not helping at all. please help (link)
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what kind of pills? I know birth control will help. A lot! Try that if you haven't already. But also caffeine is a natural pain killer (find yourself craving Coke or chocolate when you're on your period? that's your body asking for caffeine). Anti-inflammatory meds like motrin will help, and a hot water bottle helps alot. When I was younger (before I started the pill, which pretty much eliminated all those issues) I had a hot water bottle in my room. I'd fill it up with boiled water, wrap it in a towel and put it on my tummy and alternate b/w tummy and lower back. That probably helped the most. Of course, the disadvantage is that you have to be at home and resting. But it does help. Hope you find something that works for you. Good luck!
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Hi, okay
so basically I'm 19 years old, and I've smoked pot daily since I was 13. My life revolves around it. I often smoke a bowl before I'm even out of bed in the morning, and generally keep my buzz going by smoking more and more on an hourly basis throughout the day. I smoke weed at work, when I was in school, I blazed all day at school too. I got kicked out of my parents house as a result. A lot of my money and energy goes to staying high. I recognize that it isn't a sustainable way to live and I want to stop. But when I'm not maintaining a high, I default to liquor, or whatever drug is available at the time. It's almost like the only place I can get pleasure or contentment is from getting that light, dizzy feeling in my head. I don't want to go to a therapist - I have dysthymia, a borderline personality, ADD, social anxiety, and a whole host of other issues I've been clinically diagnosed with but refuse to take medicine for. As far as I'm concerned, this is the hand that God dealt me with and I believe in coping with it without drugs. I think there's a huge difference between solving a problem, and just eliminating it. So basically smoking weed has been my means of self-medicating and I've been hugely dependant on it for 6 years. I feel like I'm going to be depressed and suicidal if I stop. But I don't wanna be that person that self-medicates either. I would like to stop but willpower has never been one of my strong points and it's HIGHLY available to me.. I won't go into the details because I'd rather not implicate anyone, but there are people in my life who make a living off of pot and they definately aren't going anywhere. Nor do I want these people out of my life, they are very dear loved ones and that just isn't an option. Soo with all this in mind, does anyone have any ideas on how I might stop? Especially I would appreciate comments from people who used to blaze a lot and stopped themselves. Anyways thanks in advance, hope I get something useful (link)
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So you believe in coping with your issues without drugs but you a)won't go see a therapist and b)won't stop using pot. What's the difference between medicating with pot and medicating with some other medicine that might actually cure you? You are addicted. There's no other way to put it. You're addicted because you can't cope with your real life without being high. So if you really want to stop smoking (and I believe you do), than the best place to start is therapy, because you won't kick the urge until you kick the cause of the urge. You need help. Is that such a bad thing to admit? You don't even necessarily need to stop smoking right away. Just go see someone and start working to figure out how to reasonably live with your mental health issues. As you discover more about yourself and the reasons for your dependency, you'll naturally start to 'need' pot less and less until one day it just isn't a part of your daily existence anymore. You can't do this alone. And that's not a bad thing. That's a fact of life. If takes a lot of guts to admit you need help and seek help when you need it. Do you have the guts?
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I thinking about suicide even though I really want the help. My mother and her spouse is REALLY sleeping on this situation like what do I have to do to prove to them that I am not playing. Do I really have to commit suicide for them to get the picture that I am serious because before long its definitely going to happen and in the end they are going to think its there fault and I ma not going to be here to tell then that its not. . . please help! (link)
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Suicide is the most selfish thing a person can do. Committing suicide would only prove that you are every bit as selfish as your parents are acting right now. If you haven't already, sit down with your mother and her husband and talk with them. Tell them how you feel. Do it in a time of peace, when nothing is going on and things are quiet and normal, not when you are already fighting and screaming. Simply approach them and calmly say "Mom, I have something really serious that I need to tell you..." Write it down and just read it to them if you think it will help you say everything you want to say without breaking down. The important thing is that you find a way to appropriately express how you feel. My instinct is that you use suicide as a threat when you are emotional or fighting with them, which causes them to think you are not being serious and just reacting in anger. The way to get them to believe you is not to yell louder, but go in the complete opposite direction and tell them peacefully and reasonably. When they see that you are not being emotional or crazy and are simply giving them information about how you're feeling, they'll be more inclined to take you seriously. If that doesn't work, google local suicide hotlines and websites. There are many free resources out there available to young people who feel they are at the end of their rope. Good luck.
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My boyfriend and I have been dating for 3 years long distance. Recently he made a new girl "friend" in his hometown and they quickly became buddies and confidants about deep and spiritual topics. When I was in his town he took me to meet her and she acted like she knew him better than me, threw her arms around him, and even called him a pet name! He says she is just dramatic and it is in her nature. After speaking to her a few times i admit I kind of like her myself but it still bothers me to think of them having deep talks and spending time together when I am not around....He assures me he has no interest in her romantically or sexually... and voluntarily has scaled way back from seeing her because he saw it bothered me.
Well ironically...not planned... I have been involved in a deepening friendship of my own here in my town with a guy who shares a lot of my deep interests. It has been entirely platonic and now I am beginning to understand my bf's perspective because he is flipping out about my new guy friend!! My first instinct is to let the new guy friend go... but then we may be setting ourselves up for a small world especially if we must have a life when we are in different towns. My other option is to keep my guy friend and let my bf have his gal friend and learn to be secure and trusting and let go of jealousy. Why is this so difficult? (link)
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You're finding out first hand the extreme difficulty of long distance relationships. There is a certain intimacy (of conversation, sharing day to day stuff, etc) that you cannot share with your partner simply because of distance. So naturally, at some point, both partners gravitate to other people to fill that void. It doesn't mean its a romantic or sexual thing, it just means that what you are missing in your relationship you seek to fill somewhere else. I would just back off this and let things unfold naturally. Since your bf was very willing to introduce you to the girl as well as scale back on seeing her, it doesn't seem like there is deception involved here, so that's good. You have a point about setting yourselves up for a small world, so follow your bf's lead and make plans to introduce him to your new friend next time he is visiting so he can see for himself what the deal is. But resist the urge to pull back from all friendships with the opposite sex. As you said, that will become very limiting, and in the end you'll end up resenting each other for limiting your friendship options. Good luck.
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So i have a sister & my parents, whenever im on my period my mom and sister always piss me off, i tell them to dont make me mad when im on it but they say we wont! but they totaly do they dont understand me, and when im mad i feel like theres no way to escape my life and to free my self but when i tell my sister this she just laughs and makes fun of me :( (link)
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Its not that your family is always mad, its that YOU are! LOL... honey, that's what happens when we're on our periods. It seems like everyone else in the world is out to annoy us and at that moment it feels like they do it on purpose and everything they do makes us crazy. But the truth is, your body is raging with crazy hormones that make you super sensitive and cranky. Its the same for all of us. Your sister isn't making fun of you so much as she is getting a kick out of seeing how crazy and unreasonable you get because she knows what the real cause is. Its not you, its your period. I'm a grown woman and as far as I know there is not a whole lot you can do to change how your period makes you feel. But you can recognize that the anger and hurt and sensitivity you feel is not totally real, it has a lot to do with your hormones. If you can realize that, then you can know when its getting bad and just remove yourself from the situation. Go to your room, just keep to your self as much as possible for a few days until it passes. Once you start thinking about it, you'll realize that you are not as bad when you're not on your period. Belive me, we all experience the same thing. Even at my age I still get pissy with my husband and kids when I'm on my period. At the time, it always feels like I'm right to feel that way, but after my period ends, I realize that it was just the hormones. You'll be fine. Just try to understand where it all comes from and do your best not to be too hard on your mom and sister.
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I have had something in my foot for a couple months and it won't go away it's round looks like a wart but it isn't. What could this possibly be? (link)
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Sounds like a bunion. Which is common and comes a lot from having to wear tight or uncomfortable shoes often. Just google the word 'bunion' for more info and treatment options to find out if that is indeed what it is.
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