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Dating an older guy, who I think is in love with somebody else.
So he is 33...I'm 22. I was very aware of the age difference when I begin to get interested. We come from the same set of friends, including the girl who he was previously dating (she is dating another guy and basically is off and on with that guy). He was always like a big brother to me...so it was weird when I began to have an attraction towards him. He is mature, has an insane work schedule and travels all over the country, he is dependable, and has opened me his entire life...yet, I feel so out of it. Our relationship is definitely not serious and he always talks about my future and how he imagines it and how I will end up with a "specific" type of guy. I can feel the connection with him but I can also feel how he misses her. I know I'm probably his rebound, and he is my boredom killer. So, what once consisted of casual encounters, has now developed into butterflies in my stomach...yes I'm falling for him. Would he be able to feel the same for me? Do 11yrs apart (age) tend to work? Should I stop it?
About a year n half ago I finished a 3 yr relationship, yes I do terribly miss my Ex and would get back with him in a heartbeat...but is not possible for me....So I understand his feelings for that girl and I try not get mad or jealous because I know how it feels. But for once, after dating many, I feel protected yet so vulnerable...what to do?!!! I know I have the answer but I'm just not wanting to see it...I don't know!
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You obviously aren't totally comfortable with the whole situation. Your instincts are telling you this isn't an ideal connection and you may end up getting hurt. He is basically telling you he is on the rebound and doesn't view you as long term. You are basically saying the same thing. Yet, you seem to have a genuine attraction. The age difference isn't the issue right now. The real issue is the fact that you are both in love with other people but enjoy spending time together. This is a tough one. The way I see it, you have a couple of choices. Back off right away and go your separate ways. Spare yourself the eventual heartache of loving someone who loves someone else and who doesn't necessarily see you as a potential long term mate. OR play it by ear, go with the flow and see what happens. If you do that, you have to go into it with the understanding that he has already told you where he stands, basically. He's not very committal and possibly in love with the ex. But at least you'll know that up front and can go into it knowing it may not really work out for you. I guess it boils down to heartache now or heartache later. Only you can decide what you're up for and what you can handle. I wish you luck!
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If the guy doesnt seem interested its probably because he isnt and like you said hes just a boredom killer and your probably his rebound so why stay in a relationship like that? im sure you can find somone not only closer to your age but that you will have more in common with and will love you as much as you love him so as hard as it might be end this relationship and find someone worth your time.
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