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On break from Relationship. What now?
18/M
A few hours ago i was talking to my girlfriend (Lets call her Torrie)
Well we were talking and she asked me if i wanted to take a break because i seem bored with our relationship and that i might need some "Room", but in reality i'm just busy. I mean yes i kind of am bored but the reason behind that is we never see eachother anymore, she's still in school and i have work. She is about to be done with school and things might change then but i still have fears i will be bored, but who wouldn't after a relationship lasting for over three years right?
But i was hoping to get some advice on whiles on this "Break" If i should pursue other woman?
But if i did i have a feeling i would feel guilty
and maybe fear she would see other guys. Or maybe she has ulterior motives? She knows that i'm not going to be in a relationship with someone that does drugs, maybe she thinks this is her chance to?
I don't know, i would love some advice on this... Thank you in advance for all of your help.
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The biggest thing a relationship should be doing is making you happy. If you aren't happy, something isn't working. Are you happy but bored? Or at least content? If that's a no, I would definitely recommend a break. I believe that the only way breaks can work is if both parties agree to stay faithful to one another during the break. Imagine if one of you slept with another person while on the break but the other didn't, and you wanted to reconvene with the relationship afterward? Messy.
Taking a break would let you get many things into perspective. If you miss her, if simple things remind you of her-- you should get her back pronto, man. If not... maybe its time to let her go. You're still young, and the clock isn't ticking very fast. Enjoy life before it gets too serious.
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Those are all things you need to discuss with her if you do decide to take a break. It's really important that you set out boundaries and guidelines so that you both know where you stand.
Relationships take alot of time and effort. If you do decide to go on a break, it needs to be for the right reasons. Taking time out because you're bored may not be the best option. I know you're both busy but you need to make time for each other. Is there any way you can say something like 'right, we'll both keep Wednesday evenings free to spend time together'? Then try to use the time you have together more constructively. Do different things/go places etc.
If after you've given things a go and you're still feeling the same, then perhaps a break would be a good idea, in which case you will need to have the 'rules' conversation. No one wants to end up like Ross and Rachel.
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