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about

While I am still young, I have had a great deal of life experience. It is from this that I give advice. I am open minded and try not to be judgemental. If I can help in any way, I will. Just ask. However, like everyone else in this world, I am not perfect. My advice may not always suit you, since my experiences are not the same as yours. If you want clarification on any answers I give, feel free to ask me. If you don't like what I said, or if I offended you, let me know. This is the best way for me to improve on my responses.

Thanks for looking at my page!

advice

I am going on birth control (i'm not sure what brand yet...i just got a blood test done...i am seeing the doctor for persciption and stuff next week)

while on the pill (or patch or w/e i get) can you have sex w/o a condom and still be safe?

Yes; i know that having both is ideal. and yes i know that BC doesnt stop STD's or anything; im just curious...

and also; do you still have your period while taking birth control? or is it stopped?

While on the pill, if you take it EXACTLY as directed, you are mostly safe from pregnancy. No birth control method is 100% effective, short of abstinence or hysterectomy. But the pill is very effective when used correctly.
As for getting your period, it depends on what pill you take and how you take it. If you are on something like Seasonale, you will get your period once every three months. What you don't usually get told is that any birth control pill can be taken like Seasonale.
Here is how they typically work:
You have 4 weeks of pills in a pack. The first 3 weeks have hormones. Some pills have one level of hormones throughout the cycle, some have 3. What you get depends on what your doctor thinks you need. The 4th week is placebos, sugar pills. These have no hormones. You get your period at this time. If you don't want your period, you skip the 4th week and go right into the next pack. You may get some spotting, but you shouldn't get your period. Talk to your doctor if this is how you want to do it.
If you don't want your period at all, and you don't like taking pills, talk to your doctor about Depo Provera. It is a shot you get monthly. You won't get your period, you won't take pills. But you have to make sure you get your shot on time every month. If you are a little late, you could get pregnant.
I don't know much about the patch, other than it is also hormonal. I think you could use it to skip a period in the same way as the pill. However, I have heard that the patch isn't as safe to use as the pill. I don't know for certain.

Now, as you said, having both the pill and condoms is ideal. Unless you are monogamous and you both have been tested for STDs, you should be using condoms as well.

Hey, I've known I was gay for a while and I think I might be able to come out soon. Anyways, there’s this really cute guy in my social Studies class who is openly gay and I really like him. Would it be wrong for me to start dating before I've told my parents I'm gay? And would it be unfair to the guy to not be openly gay when he is?

Well, it sounds to me like this would be a time for both. Be open because it is certainly unfair to the guy if you aren't. Be open about it as well so your parents find out from you, not from someone who saw you with another guy. How are your parents likely to react if you tell them? If it is not good, well, imagine how they will react if someone else tells them. It will be worse. Then they will be upset and feel like they can't trust you. So, come out and live your life the way you want to. It is better, and ultimately easier, than hiding who you are.

Okay, my boyfriend and I have been going out since October, and have spent the whole summer of 2006 with this little crush on each other thing. He's liked me for a whole year before that summer, too. Basically, after he asked me out we've spent so much time together. I can't imagine not being with him, and neither can my friends. Everyone expects us to be the couple that will never break up, high school sweethearts, etc.

Lately, though, I've been getting bored from being in a relationship so long. I've started noticing all the little things he does that bugs me, and it really irritates me how he gets upset when I hang out with or talk about another guy.

I don't know. I feel like I want to take a break or dump him or something but I don't know what to do or how to do it, and I'm afraid that in the end I'll regret everything.

Well, it sounds like you are in a relationship. After a while with anyone, you will get tired of them at times and find the things that used to be cute or endearing are now annoying. That is totally normal. He probably is having the same issues. The best thing you can do is talk with him about it. Be calm and rational. Know what you are going to say and how you are going to say it. Let him know what bothers you. Find out why he gets upset about you being around other guys. He is probably afraid of losing you. He has also probably picked up on you being distant (you probably are, if you are getting bored) and so the other guys seem like more of a threat to him. Let him know you can't imagine being without him, but also that you are feeling like there is something lacking. If you are calm and caring, the two of you will figure out what is needed and be able to continue in a happy relationship. If either of you starts to get upset, take a break from the discussion and do something you enjoy together. Talk again when you are both calm again.

Oh, I married my high school sweetheart. We eventually had troubles and ended up in marriage therapy, which worked wonders. Turns out we both had the same issues, but brought them up different ways and just upset each other more. So, if you have trouble talking with him, find a neutral person to help you out, someone who can translate for each of you. A school counselor might be a good choice.

If you have sex the last day of your period and the day after you get off what are the chances of pregnancy? We didn't use any protection and I am not on birth control. Also, he didnt pull out. Please answer soon.

The chances are supposed to be slim. However, it varies by person. And no matter how well you know your cycle, it could be off sometimes. I say this because that is exactly how I got pregnant. So, there is definitely a chance of getting pregnant no matter when you have sex, even if it is a slim chance.

i havent had my period this month
i dont know how to put in tampons, i tryed a number of times but still.
im going to florida in a 10 days, and what if i have my period when im there, i really dont want it when im there, because then i cant swim or do anything fun without being grosed out or something.

Well, you can keep your period from coming by taking birth control pills. However, if you are due to start any time now, that will probably not stop this next one from coming.
As for tampons, well, it feels weird at first, but you will get the hang of it. You might try talking to your mom about them. It will be awkward, but she should be able to help you out. Besides, it will probably be easier to talk to her about tampons then about birth control.

I downloaded the new yahoo messenger and it is supposed to show you the peoples names instead of there screen names, and show pictures by there name. But mine is not doing that, what did I do wrong?

Yahoo messenger will only show what people allow it to show. It can only show a name and picture if the person has put in a name and picture. Most of my contacts have not. I, personally, don't put my real name on my messengers. Just a screen name. It is safer that way. As for a picture, it will only show a pic if one has been uploaded or if an avatar has been created (I use an avatar, again it is safer). If your contacts are using an older version, they probably have not done this, so it won't have anything to show.
If your contacts do have real names and pics on their yahoo accounts, but it isn't showing them on yours, try restarting it. Better yet, restart your whole computer. This should make the new program get recognized. If that doesn't work, check to make sure your old one is fully removed from your computer and that the new one is fully installed. You may need to uninstall both and reinstall the new one.

Whats good exercises or quick things, or work outs, too loose some weight/fat in the stomach and legs

and if you know arms haha that would be good too but im really wondering about stomach and legs
thankss

I highly recommend Curves. I go there and it is a fast, easy workout that really does help lose weight wherever you need it lost. They monitor your progress, keep you at a good fat-burning heart rate, and they work every major muscle group several times in just a half an hour. You can find info at http://www.curves.com

If you don't want to go somewhere, preferring to workout on your own, you need to include some cardio as well as strength training. You want to keep your heart rate up to burn fat, but you also want to build lean muscle because it will help raise your metabolism. That will help you to keep trim. Before I started at Curves, I found a great belly dancing dvd at the library. I don't recall the title but it featured neena and veena. Don't know a last name, but just searching the first names and belly dance workout should help you find it.

which do you think is the best movie for a girl's 13th year old party?

- Epic Movie
- Happyfeet
- Dreamgirls

or have any others? I mean like.. movies that are out in the movie theatres now, not movies you can get on DVD or something.

kthnx. :]

There are not many girlie movies out right now. However, as an adult woman, I can say I really enjoyed Happy Feet and Charlotte's Web lately. Yes, I know they are geared toward kids. But I really liked them. Dreamgirls looks alright, but I think you would have to be at least a little interested in the time period (early 60's), as well as into musicals. I am looking forward to seeing Epic Movie, but don't really care if I see it in theaters. Other than those, I don't see much listed that would be interesting for a 13 year old girl's party.
If you want to find out more about what is playing, imdb.com is a great resource.

I txt msg to the guy I like (he knows I like him, and i'm not sure if he likes me) to go out last friday night. No respond, no call, nada. After 5 days, he sent me a txt msg said he was sick that night and didn't feel going out.

I guess it's good to know, but after all this time, he all the sudden thinks he SHOULD tell me he couldn't make it?!

WHY did he wait this long to explain to me he couldn't make it on friday???

It is entirely possible that he just forgot. Something reminded him and he realized he never did let you know what happened. Most guys I know (especially my husband) are incredibly forgetful. I wouldn't worry about it unless he does it again. Then just flat out ask him what is going on. He could be stringing you along as a backup if this is something he does a lot. But again, if this is the first time, let it go. It is likely nothing.

15/f

Hi, I'm not trying to lose more than a pound or two, if anything. But I would like to study how many calories I'm taking in and how many I'm burning. I am considering getting a pedometre, scale and book to write down everything I eat. I realize it's probably good to see exactly what I'm eating and what not, but is it mentally healthy for a teenager to be so aware of their health? I am just over 5'8 and around 115 lbs, so I'm not having any issues.

Thanks!
PS: I have a lot of spare time and this interests me, haha.

You aren't trying to lose weight, so I think you are fine. It shows a healthy interest in your body. Knowing what you are doing right is just as important as knowing what you are doing wrong. This would also show you if your calories are really the right ones, or if you could do with a healthier diet that has the same amount of calories. However, I would recommend talking to your doctor to get his/her recommendations on the best way to use this information.

Ok, as you will all find out, I am like the biggest Harry Potter Fan ever. I have read the series like at least 6 times. Anyways, I am re-reading the latest book 'Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince' and I am inquiring if anybody knows who the prince is. I've read and re-read the book several times for the answer but cannot conclude to an answer. Does anybody know?

Also, what it the seventh book called, i missed the annoncement because i was on vacation. I know it's comming out July 7th 2007 but what is it called! I'm so going crazy about this! Please help, thanks. =]

Snape is the Prince, if I remember right. His mother's last name was Prince, which is why he is "half-blood Prince."
If I am wrong on that, forgive me. It has been a while.
The new book is Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. It is NOT scheduled for July 7th. The next movie, OTP, is.
If you want more info, straight from the author, go to http://www.jkrowling.com
It is really a great site.

EDITED TO ADD: I just got a notification about the release date of the new book. It will be Saturday, July 21. Yay! I can't wait! At least we will have the new movie to tide us over.

whats the differences about snorkeling and scuba diving?

Snorkeling uses a mask and a tube. You have one end of the tube in your mouth and the other sticking out of the water so you can breathe. You are limited to the surface of the water.
SCUBA diving is very different. It stands for Self Contained Underwater Breathing Apparatus. That means you have an air tank on your back so you can go much deeper and still breath.

ok well tom. i need to find a way to stay home from school...and i know the sick excuse is common but i need a different idea. any suggestions?

You could sprain your ankle, but that actually requires some degree of pain. It is hard to fake well enough for a parent to believe it. Do you wear glasses and really need them to be ok in school? And can you afford to replace them? If so, make sure someone sits on them. If you can manage to get a parent to do that, you are really set. You will have to go to the eye doctor, but it isn't school. If you have a really sympathetic mom, you could have a crying fit about losing a boyfriend or good friend and you really don't want to face them in school the next day so could you please stay home and spend some time with her?

Or you could be upfront about why you don't want to go to school, but the chances of that working really depend on your parents. My mom was great with that one, but she wasn't typical. I could go to her and say "we aren't really doing much in school today. Can I go to the beach instead?" and she would drive me. I don't think most parents would be at that extreme, but I think if it is a reasonable cause for you to not want to go to school, they might consider it. But, once you tell them that, if they say you have to go, nothing else will work. They will know you are faking.

im planning on asking this guy to the sadie hawkins (barn dance) tomorrow. hes a sophomore im a freshman. but im scared. i know that nothing will happen unless i ask him but im scared of rejection. Any tips on what to do? Also do most guys say yes to these kind of things? cause hes my friend.. but he might wanna go with another sophomore. and idk then ill feel weird. so would most guys say yes?

Thanks!

From what I've seen, most guys will say yes if you are upfront. You say he is a friend. So, even if he says "no, I really wanted to go with another sophomore." I think it won't affect your friendship. But unless you think he is interested in someone in particular, as a friend you will have a pretty good idea, I don't think you have anything to worry about.

i was just wondering if anyone could help me, how do i get my 1month old gil into a routine? how do i start it off? is she to young to get her into one?
any help would be great

thanks

I totally second the first person to answer. Each child is different, and some seem to automatically have a routine. Others never seem to. Now, for that age, all the baby does is eats, sleeps, poops, and occasionally makes faces at you. All you can control there is eating. Always feed her at the same times. As she starts doing more, set the new things to a routine too. Give yourself a routine, and hers will follow.

That first person also recommended "What to Expect the First Year." I HIGHLY recommend that as well. In fact, I just took a friend to the library for that book today. As my son is 7 now, I don't have my copy anymore. I gave it to another friend years ago. That book is so well researched. It got me through sooooo much. Now my son is one of the healthiest his doctor has seen, one of the smartest in his school, and so polite and pleasant that he confuses people. I don't know how much the book helped, but it certainly kept me on track.

You can also go to http://www.babycenter.com
They will give you personalized reports on how your baby should be progressing and you get a free magazine subscription tailored to your baby's age. When I signed up, they didn't do the magazine. I just signed my friend up today and found out about it. The website will show you how your baby should progress for about 8 years (after the toddler years, you start being directed to parentcenter, same site for older kids). I still use it.

WARNING: THIS IS GOING TO BE LONG BUT I SERIOUSLY NEED ADVICE ON THIS. PLEASE DONT LEAVE BECAUSE ITS TOO LONG. YOU MIGHT BE ABLE TO MAKE IT ALL BETTER FOR ME. PLEASE READ.

ok. so me and my mom fight non-stop. screaming yelling crying. the usual. its weird because we used to be really close and would always go shopping and crap and i would tell her everything yatta yatta. well i really want to be her "friend" er w/e. i mean not like besties but id like to at least have a positive relationship. seriously. usually, like as of right now, i hate her guts. with a strong passion. she ruins my life.

does anyone know anything i can say to her that lets her know i need her? this sound really cheesey i know. but its like ruining my life not to have a positive relationship. i mean. i get grounded for the f-ing retaredest things (if thats even a word..) and because of her i wont be able to spend this coming weekend with my boyfirend. (its our anniversary) and im superrr pissed.

anything.. please. this is serious. i hate my life. and its all because of her. i honestly wish my parents would divorce just so i wouldnt see her as much. but the only thing is she says that if my parents were to divorce (for the like 3rd time) she wouldnt let me live with my dad. yeah right. i would refuse to live with my mom.

ughhhh. please help..

oh and by the way;
if it makes a difference, she has cronic depression and doesnt always take her medications (which pisses me off). so shes always bitchy. my dad agrees with me that sometimes she goes over the top.

I KNOW THIS WAS LONG BUT PLEASE HELP!

xoxo
14/f

I am a mom on anti-depressants. If I go off my meds, I get violent. I yell a lot and I throw things. I don't go off my meds unless something stupid happens between my insurance and my doctor. But many people do go off their meds because they either forget, convince themselves they don't need it, or just plain don't want to take them.

Because I am familiar with depression and family problems, I can probably help. What I will tell you will not always be easy, but it will help. A lot of it will be about helping her, but that is because in the end it will make your life a whole lot easier.

First, find her when she is calm and feeling good. Talk to her about her. Depression causes us to see the worst in everything. You say you need her, and she will think "yeah, of course you do. But what about what I need? Does anyone ever think about that?" So, start with her. Ask her about her day, ask her if she would like to go to lunch with you and just hang out a bit. Then, when you are talking more, let her know what is going on in your life. Let her know how important it is that she just know what is going on, that she means a lot to you. Depressed persons often feel useless and unwanted. Then we take it out on those closest to us. Let her know you want her in your life, and not just for the difficult stuff, but the fun stuff too. It is apparent to me that you do care very much for her, or you wouldn't be quite so angry about her skipping her meds.

The next thing is to talk to your dad. Don't rant at him, don't let him rant. Just talk rationally about your concerns. It will take a lot to get her to stay on her meds, but it will make a world of difference. But they have to be taken consistantly to even come close to working. You and your dad may want to talk to her doctor to see if he has any recommendations on helping her.

Now, for coping, there are some things for you to do. First, avoid her triggers. Everyone has something(s) that set them off. A depressed person doesn't just get set off, they blow up entirely. Avoid the things that cause that whenever possible.

Get involved in after school activities. Lots of them, but not too many that you can't keep your grades up. Dropping grades is a major trigger for just about any parent. If you have plenty of activities after school that you are committed to, you just won't be home. But don't forget to always invite her to be involved with you. Let her know it would be so much fun if she could help you make costumes for the school play, or help you make cookies for a fundraiser, or whatever you decide to do (I was the theater kid, and avoided lots of parental problems when I was a teen).

Here is one my marriage therapist (told you I caused problems) gave us in order to deal with a difficult family member (in my case, my sister-in-law): Just let her rant. Do not say ANYTHING. Look at her the whole time. Don't make any faces. Stay blank and look at her. She will stop when she is done, or when it just doesn't phase you. Often, the person will hear themselves after a while and realize how ridiculous they are being.

Do NOT walk out on her when she is ranting. My husband did that a few too many times, which only heightened the feeling that I didn't matter. I ended up in the hospital. If you just can't listen anymore, say that. Say "mom, I can understand that you are upset. I am too. We need to talk later so I don't start yelling. I am going to my room for a little while to calm down. I love you and will talk to you soon." Then leave. Don't listen to her yelling after you. Go put on headphones and listen to your favorite music and read a good book. (headphones are important. Playing music loudly will just make it worse)

There is one more important thing you should know. Growing up, I saw my mom go into depressive fits a lot. She was never officially diagnosed, at least not until I was already out of the house. I later learned that depression caused by chemical imbalance (rather than an event like a death or something) is often hereditary. I look back at my life and realize that I showed plenty of signs of depression and never noticed. If you think you may be getting depressed, no matter what the reason, talk to a professional. It could just be the blues over something that happens to you, or it could be actual depression, but it doesn't matter. Talking to an impartial person can help. And if you do show signs of actual depression, you can get the care you need before it turns into a major problem. I hope you won't actually need that last bit of advice. But it is certainly something that people with depressed parents should be aware of.

Oh, also, with your age, if your parents do get a divorce you will be able to decide who you want to live with. Most states you need to only be 11. Some you have to be 13. Either way, you are past that.

umm yeah i feel dumb asking this but my boyfriend reallly wants me to have phone sex. ive never done it before....so help!

Phone sex can be really awkward, but it can also be very arousing. I very nearly did it for a living, but life got in the way (funny how that works . . . )

Anyway, I'm going to assume it is something you are at least a little interested in, or you would have asked how to get out of it. So, here are the basics, and some tips I got from the person I was going to work for:

1. Role-playing works great here. You aren't seeing each other, so it is easier to pretend to be someone else for a bit (I mean, easier than trying it in person where the visual can take away from the fantasy sometimes). So, decide who you want to be and why you are doing this over the phone. Can you do an accent? Perhaps you are a french girl who will be coming to the states soon to meet him, but you just can't wait to be involved with him so you are using the phone.
2. Whether you role-play or not, a sultry voice can work wonders. Yes, it will sound forced at first if it is not how you naturally talk, but it is part of the fun. Just make all you say come out almost like a purr. Practice if you want. Talk to your cat in that voice and anyone who wanders in on you will be less likely to think it is strange.
3. What do you say? Well, be dirty. Tell him in detail just how you want to suck his . . . or kiss him on the . . . or how wet you are . . . or whatever you think sounds good. Be very descriptive of what you are wearing, even if the description is something you don't really own but you think would look great.
4. On the topic of being descriptive, don't just start out in underwear. You will need to describe how you take it all off. What kind of outfit does he fantasize about? School-girl? Nurse? Teacher? Play it up.
5. Simple props go a long way. Props? When he can't see you? Of course. You need to sound right. All you really need are a couple tootsie pops to suck on. If you have a vibrator, or something that sounds like one, that is also a good idea.
6. Enjoy yourself. If you are actually getting aroused and such, it will be apparent in your voice. If you are comfortable with it (at this point, I don't see why you wouldn't be), masturbate. And tell him all about it.

If you do that, you will probably have him rushing to your place for the real thing before you even realize he has put the phone down.

Ok, well I masturbate. It feels so great and all and I have orgasms it's just, I never cum. There is no sign of me ever like totally finishing. I have tried many ways to masturbate but all with the same results, But my question is:

Do you have to cum?
Is it maybe a medical problem that I should consult my gynocologist?

Thanks

Ok, this is easy. It is not a medical problem. As a female (if you are seeing a gyn, I would hope I got gender right here :P), you don't cum like a guy does. Your vagina will produce more moisture as a natural lubricant, but that is it. If you have an orgasm, you are doing things right. Only men need to ejaculate to really be done. If you are not producing any moisture, you could have a problem. But it is not anything major. If you are always dry, and friction is an issue, you can always get some KY. Some women just don't get as wet as others.

this is a pretyy weird question,but i need help,FAST!
well i just got my period like 2 days ago & i was wondering how do you poop when you have it.
I've tried but it hurts a lot. & i just get scared. now my smotach hurts & i dont know if it's becasue of the cramp or dirahha.
i justed wanted to know how to poop i mean it hurts really bad.

thnkss

It is not common to have bowel troubles (trouble pooping) during your period. However, it is not abnormal either. Right before my period I get constipated. Then, it all loosens up and I get the runs.
My first period started with those symptoms. It was very strange to me. But it turns out that that is how my body works.
If you have a lot of pain, it is not a good thing. I would suggest going to a doctor to make sure you are alright. It is entirely possible that you developed a stomach problem at the same time you got your period, and they are completely unrelated.
I know it is not easy, but tell your mom what is going on. It is also possible she has had similar trouble at some point or another. Even if she hasn't, she can take you to a doctor to ask. Make sure she knows that you want to get checked out for good measure. Being upfront with your mom is tough, but it can work wonders in getting yourself back to feeling well.

Why is it rare that an individual parasite kills its host?

I am not 100% sure this is the right answer, but it makes sense to me. Actually, I have two ideas about it, and both are probably at least somewhat right:
1. One parasite is too small to fully drain the host of blood, especially since the host body will continue to produce blood, most likely faster than the parasite is draining it.
2. If the host dies, the parasite can't eat. It is not the goal of the parasite to kill the host, since that could mean its own death.
There are cases where parasites on small animals make the host ill or weak enough that a larger animal can easily catch and eat it, thus providing a larger host for the parasite to feed on. So, in those cases, the host does die, but not as a direct result of the parasite.

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