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Their is this boy he's cute and all but he's 20 and their is this other boy that is 17 i don't know which one to go out with because the 20 year old is mad nice and shit and dosn't get into trouble with the cops but the 17 year old just got out of jkail today the 9th and i don't know they both smoke weed they both drink but the 20 year old dosn't smoke cigrattes and the 17 year old does. Melssia you gotta help me.

Hey..How old are you? Sounds like your somewhere around my age. Neither of these relationships seem like your parents would approve of, but i wont tell you to forget them because you like both of them, and i know what its like to like someone your parents wont approve of.
Back to your question..both have their negatives..and you said the 20 yr old was nice..which is good. Whats good about the 17 yr old? Maybe you can make a list of positives and negatives about each guy..maybe that will help you make a decision. I personally dont know the guys myself..so its kinda hard for me to tell you which one to choose. Also think about which one would treat you the best..would one of them just "use" you or hurt you? Your friends know these guys better than i do..so maybe ask them what they think.
This is only my opinion..but I personally would try and find a better guy..who is younger and doesnt smoke weed or did jail time. But thats only my opinion..if you really are attracted to these guys then make a list and pick one!

This is a tough situation..I wish you luck! Write back with more details if you want..i`ll be happy to help more! :)
-Melissa

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i am a freshman going into higschool, and i have a problem w/ this girl going into 11th grade whos 2 years older than me. well back in middle school we were on the same bus, and she was really mean to me. she would SCREAM mean things to me in front of EVERYONE, like saying im ugly and stuff, and she would take my schoolbag and dump it all over the place, and she would pour soda on me.. it was humiliating.. she used to threaten to beat me up when i got off the bus, and she would have people come up to me and say shit to me. LAST YEAR I TOLD MY MOM AND SHE WENT TO THE SCHOOL AND TOLD OUR PRINCIPLE AND MADE IT WORSE CAUSE THE GIRL ONLY HARASSED ME MORE AND MORE AND PEOPLE MADE FUN OF ME... well now were gonna be on the same bus again, and i wanna know how to handle the situation. if shes yelling at me on the bus, should i say something back? ignore her? ask her if we can talk it out? or ask her why she's doing this since i didnt do anything to her?... i dont want to make her even more mad, because then she'll be worse to me. tell me how to handle it, but dont tell me to call the cops or anything, i wanna know what to do... im REALLY SCARED.. thanks

Man...nobody should be afraid like that..i feel for you. You gota do somethin! Bullies are cowards..and if shes STILL bullying then it sounds like she has some problems. It isnt fair to you to be scared like that... i suggest
-getting a friend on the bus to handle her..maybe a big girl..strong girl..(too bad im not on your bus..i could do the job lol)
-or maybe even a guy friend to humiliate her on the bus by saying something like "whats your problem..ppl like you are cowards.." etc.
-you can handle it yourself by speaking up..sound tough, you know? I know you dont wanna start trouble..but you gota get loud sometimes and "take care of business" Dont put up with it! Wear rings on your hands..they can do damage lol
-once this bully sees you arent gonna put up with her anymore..she should back off.

being bullied is a tough situation that ive never been in..but i hope i helped anyway! drop me somethin in the inbox if you wanna talk more..im here to help bring this bully down! :)

-melissa

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okie well i no im not the very pretty but is there a way i can like talk to guys on get them to notic me or how can i get guys to like me????


*I rate well*

I`m definately not pretty either..but considering how ugly i am, ive had a couple good bf`s. I know you probably heard this a million times, but be yourself. You want a guy to like you for yourself, right? Well if the guy doesnt see that then o well, next fish in the sea :) Eventually it will pay off! Strike up conversations and take chances! You cant maake a guy like you..if things were that easy..i`d never be single lol. What you can do..is start talking to guys while being yourself to get them to notice you..you`ll come accross a guy who likes you for you and trust me you`ll be happy!
-hope i helped lots of luck!! :)
melissa

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i've been told i have an AWESOME stance at the plate when im hitting, but when the ball comes and i go to swing, i rotate my body and slap at the ball, like i dont watch the ball hit the bat i guess bc i turn my self, when i do that, i step out, which is making me a super pull hitter to the left side which sucks bc the teams are gettin used to me and know where my sweet spots are . eerr . but i guess what im tryin to ask is does anyone have like any advice on how to correct it . my cousin tried to help me but hes a guy so hes different then a girl you know lol . idk i just need some advice on how to make my swing more even . i guess im rotating my body, stepping out, and reaching for the ball . ughh . i hate it bc im hittin like little grounders RIGHT to short or 3rd and its horrible bc at the beginig of this season i was hittin triples and doubles all over the out field and now ima pull hitter right to short . ugh . so any advice will be overly apprieciated .

Sounds like your just in a hitting slump..not to worry. I LOVE softball...the hitting comes naturally..you know what your doing wrong..just step up to the plate with confidence, adjust to the speed and connect with the ball...you`ll send that baby out there just like you`ve been doing earlier in the season, trust me! Maybe all you need is some extra hitting practice, thats always good. Step towards the pitcher,dont reach for it..if your reaching for it..it sounds like you have enough time to smash it if you wait. I remember facing the slowest pitcher EVER it was a drastic change in speed from what i was used to...all i had to do was wait on it and it flied! Swing with your natural power..when you get up to the plate dont overthink (i never do)
Good luck! Hope i helped out a lil
-Melissa

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well i really like this guy he is very sweet and nice he says he kinda likes me an all but he has a gf and she cheats on him all the time she's a slut and she lies to him he knows she cheated on him once but he still wont break up with her they didi once but got together an hour later what should i do?

Hmm..your in a tough position. Im afraid this is his choice to make. If he wants to remain in this relationship, which looks like it will only hurt him, its a poor choice but you have to support him. Maybe get closer to him as a friend..talk to him about her and ask what he sees in this relationship. Tell him you dont want to see him hurt..but dont make any moves if hes making it clear that hes going to stay in the relationship. If you go out of your way to break them up, its only gonna backfire :(
All I think you should do is to become a good friend of his..and in time he`ll realize (hopefully) that its a bad idea to stay with his current gf and i think you`ll be the first girl he`ll consider afterwards! So be patient, and i think if you do..you`ll get great results!

Good luck! Hope i helped :)
-Melissa

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I'm not fat but I have some fatty areas, like my stomach and thighs. I always tell myself I'm going to start excercising soon but I never do. How can I motivate myself to stop being lazy and start being healthy? Any tips on what gets you going to the gym? Thanks!

Hey I think I can help..all you have to do is

A.maybe catch one of those documentaries on the really obese people,
B.go online and look up pictures of really obese people
C. Think how good it will feel to reach your goal..you`ll feel special inside!
D. Immagine yourself looking better than great next summer in your bathing suit
You pretty much just gota "do it " one day, you know? Think of the positive results and everything...you`ll be in the gym in no time

Hope I helped out!
-melissa

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Be and my best friend are soo tight..we do EVERYTHING together. and whats even better is that our boyfriends are best friends too. The 4 of us do everything together! but now whenever im with my friend when her bf isn't around thats all she talks about is him even on the phone! it gets on my nerves soo bad! should i say somthing to her or just let her talk about him?

Hey i`d definately say something! You guys are tight..so im sure she`ll want to know if your bothered by it! I know i would want to know if i was her! Talk to her about it and explain how you feel..that you wanna spend time with her and just have girl time or w.e. lol. Im sure she`ll understand.

hope i helped out!
-melissa :)

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Is it ok to mow your crochy hair down there?

Yea definately if your a girl! If your a guy..people dont consider that ok..but do whatever floats your boat!

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I was making dinner for me and my family and I wanted to make chicken alfredo, so the directions said cook the noodles and then put the sauce in. But insted I put the sauce in and then cooked the noodles. I could tell my family didn't like it. What did I do wrong????

sincerely,
cooking in Cali.

hmm..im not the best cook, im sorry :(
next time you wont make the same mistake tho! im sure your fam. appreciated you making dinner tho..

sorry i was no help! :(

-melissa

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i dont think i am pretty and my friends say that i am and i am 40 puonds over weight..sometimes i think that they just say that to make me happy but ik that they probably dont mean it anyone know how to lose weight fast and keep it off?


-Dissapointed in mysef :(


* I rate *

hey..i feel for you..im about that much overweight also! If you really buckle down and set your mind to it...you can lose the pounds!

A. Eat healthy. Tell your mom to only buy healthy food. Eat until your satisfied, but not stuffed. The little things count! For example..dont eat the bread with ur hamburger..drink water instead of soda..have a fruit salad for dessert instead of junk. 3,500 calories= 1 lb.
B. Excersise!If you excersise after every meal..weather you wal;k, run, do situps, sports, etc. it will pay off!
C. To keep it off..you have to make a long term commitment. After your down to the weight you want to be..continue to excersise every day if you can..just a little is ok also! Its OK to splurge sometimes..dont feel guilty if you splurge!

I followed those steps and lost 20 lbs two years ago..and kept it off!

Hope i helped! Write back if you want to talk more!
:) - melissa

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Ihave areally hard time falling asleep at night night. Iget all nervous about murderer's breaking in, and it really scares me! I know thiz soundz childish, but does anyone have any advice on how to fall asleep quicker and it would help if you had advice on how to be calmer and not think every little noise in the night is someone breaking in.

Hey..maybe try listening to calm music or watching tv? Maybe you should consider talking to your doctor about it. He/She can give you medicine to help maybe.

Hope everything works out!
-meliss

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if ur getting fingered or having sex..how do u kno ur getting on orgasim??

trust me you`ll know! :) You`ll feel the muscles in there contracting..it`ll feel real pleasurable

wasnt much detail...write to me if you want some more detail hope i helped!

-meliss

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Hey! Me n my boyfriend we were best friends b4 we started datin n now that we r dating we r closer n stuff n now that we r closer i feel like my grl best friends feel like i am betrayin them and all that and i feel like i am loosing them and i do try to spend time with both of them at tha same time n then have grlz nights out and sumtimes i just spend it wit my bf but i dont want my best friends or my bf so wut should i do??

hey it sounds like your doing great by making girls nights out and everything. I think its perfectly fine that you want bf time also..who doesnt? lol Well it sounds like your fine..i know some girls who were totally centered around their bf`s...and her friends got angry and hurt. Your friends have no reason to be mad! If you want..sit them down and have a talk about it. They`ll appreciate it very much that you considered their feelings! Another thing you can do is to ask your bf if he is feeling the same way. Ask if he thinks his friends are feeling left out and ask wat he does to make sure they arent feeling that way.

-hope i helped! :)
feel free to ask again

-melissa

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I usually give advice, but now I need advice...I'm gonna be a freshy in about 3 weeks and I want some tips (besides "be yourself") on making friends, my problem is that I'm REALLY shy and I always think I'm going to say something stupid. The h.s isn't that big (1,100 students) and all of my friends are going to this h.s, but if I don't have any of them in one of my classes I want to be able to meet new people..

Any tips would be greatly appricated, btw I rate

Hey no worries! Its a new year and everyone is looking to make new friends! There has to be others who dont have any friends in their classes also!

-start a convo with someone..it can be about anything!

-if there is a new student in school..become their first friend! New students are usually friendly and looking for new friends!

-get closer to people you always have "seen around" Last year i made 5 new friends that way! You find out that they are really great people


not to worry..your gona be great


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I keep making myself throw up in the shower and my boyfriend just broke up with me but i dont think im fat or anything whats wrong with me? Am i bilemic? i dont think im fat... but i am kinda suicidal and i do cut myself sometimes.... is it just a way for pain or what... someone help me out!!

This is a problem and the first step to solving it , is to admit this is a problem. Nobody should hurt themselves to releive pain. Instead talk to someone close to you about your feelings. Dont trap them inside. If you can stop on your own, thats great..but if not..dont be ashamed to get helpp..there are plenty others out there who have your problem ..dont be afraid to get help if you need it..you`ll be so much better off. Best of luck..please write back if you want to talk more.

-Melissa :)

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i want to play on the varsity team nd i;m good

thats great! But..I dont understand what your question is! lol Im sure you can do it..keep positive and practice hard (im sure you already do) and you`ll be just fine! Best of luck during the season..if you have any other questions feel free to ask anytime!

-melissa

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wat channle is the talk sex show on. Also, is it on the radio or tv

For me, its channel 73. The channel is called "Oxygen". Another thing you can do is go to the webiste.. www.talksexwithsue.com

it might be talksexwithsuejohanson.com if the first one doesnt work

glad i could help!

-melissa-

:)

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I look at a lot of the questions and then the answers they get..a lot of them have to do with sex..and a lot of the answers are saying it is okay as long as you use protection and you really "love" them. These are usually teens, like me, too! I agree with having safe sex and stuff but my main concern is the actual action of sex. Sex should be something special you share with the person you are going to spend the rest of your life with. At this age, it is very unlikely that you will stay together forever, no matter how well your relationship is going. Are there any people on this site waiting for marriage? Does anyone agree with me?

*Flabbergausted*
i like that word =P

Absolutely. Well..thats my plan anyway. Im very emotional and i dont think i would be able to handle the fact that the person i lose my virginity to will move on out of my life. I want the person i lose it with..be there with me to do it all over for the rest of my life. Damn it will be hard ..cuz im already curious..wat if i dont get married til like 30 LOL.

But when someone asks about sex ..i always say if your ready to go for it..because everyone is different and everyone makes different choices!

-melissa

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Please Help me Im realli upset my boy friend-jose (gordy) broke up wth me im 12 years old and I think he's telling ppl i did it with him and calling me a slut n other bad names. He makes fun of my family now and tells my mom he likes her my mom is like 43 and he is 12 OMG im realli upset i love him still. But he hates me I miss him so much please help me get him outta my life.



Baffled Beauti

Boys are EXTREMELY dumb at that age, im sure it will pass. Hes a pretty sick boy if hes saying he likes your mom..the only thing you can do is to ignore it. If this becomes serious and doesnt stop on its own it a few weeks, maybe tell a teacher,counselor,police, etc. because if it continues to get worse..you should get someone to stop it. Its harassment and nobody should have to go through that.

In the mean time..focus on hangin with your friends more..this will take your mind off him, trust me ive been through it! Time will heal your pain from the relationship..i hope i helped!

if not..just send me another letter in my inbox!

-melissa-

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my mom is getting married to this guy whos really kool except he like flirts with me and comes on to me. he says stuff like hey sexy, hey cutie, hey pretty girl, and stuff like that and its really uncomfortable.. should i just let it go?

No way! Tell him to stop. See how it works..if it doesnt work tell your mom! He should stop..if not ..something should be done!

hope i helped! write to me if you wanna talk more

-meliss-

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