So, I'm asking you this because I checked out your advice column and I think that you give good advice.
How do I stop men from emotionally withdrawing themselves from me? So I'm a 19 year old girl who has a problem with men emotionally withdrawing themselves from me.
I'm a relatively mature 19 year old, who usually gets along with people a few years older than me better than people my own age.
I have been through this with my two ex boyfriends, who are 24 and 26 year old men. At first the guy is extremely interested in me, he wants to see me all the time and he can't get enough of me, he falls for me sometimes even getting to the point of being in love with me, then he decides to emotionally withdraw himself from me.
Then they'll tell me that they want to be friends with me, and that's all that they want. So when I try talking to them about anything they either act extremely distant with me, or start arguing with me.
I don't know if it's because of the kind of guys that I like to date, in the past both of my ex boyfriends were single for awhile before dating me. The 24 year old, let's call him C, was my ideal man and at first he wanted to do whatever he could to make me happy, because I made him happy but he was single for two almost three years before dating me, which I found hard to believe. Then the 26 year old, let's call him S, was my first love and the guy that I lost my virginity to, he was single for a year and a half.
Both emotionally distanced themselves for me for different reasons, C told me that he really liked me but he felt like I wasn't being myself the week before. Then he broke up with me a week later, because I thought that everything was fine and I told him that I missed him, he said that I was getting too emotionally attached to him, we didn't date for long only for almost two months. I should have been able to tell that he was emotionally distancing himself from me, because when we would talk he would talk to me for five minutes and then say that he had to go. When I asked him why he emotionally distanced himself from me, he said that he didn't like how things were going.
And then S emotionally distanced himself from me because we had a pregnancy scare, and he was ashamed of how he reacted during it, telling me that I had to get an abortion which he knew I really was against.
Any ideas as to why they could be emotionally distancing themselves from me? And how I could resolve this issue?
this is a new one.. Best I can give you is to study your own actions. you may be a little on the clingy side, and these guys probably weren't into that. I've never really dealt with a situation like this because almost all of my relationships with women ended while I was out on a field rotation or a deployment. Thanks for asking, but I'd suggest throwing this up as a public question.
good luck
-Gunner
[view]
My brother found a bird a couple days ago and we are taking care of it. I don't know what kind of bird it is.
He has feathers that stick up on his head.
When you put your finger up to his face, he will put his head down so you could pet his head.
His beak is grey. The top part curves down into the bottom half of his beak. The top is bigger than the bottom.
Thank you to everyone who answers!
that can be anything from a Kestrel to a Phillipine Eagle with your description. a detailed description, including the color pattern of its feathers, wingspan, approximate weight, as well as location found would be helpful. if you're in the northeast U.S., I'd put money on it being a kestrel due to the flaring plumage and curved beak. a picture of the bird would help significantly(you can post a link to a picture of the bird on facebook/myspace/whatever).
once you get that info, post it up in an edit of your question, I'm standing by with my copy of "Birds of North America".
-Gunner
[view]
im 17 and have ugly boobs. pancake nipples and they sag. its disgusting. i am better at accepting them now than i used to be but even if i saw these boobs on someone else i would prob be disgusted, cant lie. i hate bathing suits, a pushup bra does nothing and never show clevage because all you would see is saggy titts. they are like 2 inches apart from eachother, are not round , perkky oor full. really stretchy skin. i also just lost 50 lbs so i dont think that helped. o have never been with a guy and am really scared to because if my boobs. i would never let someone look at them. I honestly beleive that if i got a boob j.job i wouldnt be so self concious. everyday i worry about my shirt going i little too low and people seeing my boobs, i just dont want to live like this anymore. what do i doÉ im tired of this and i have tried to gain a better self esteem buyt i cant. in reality, no guy can enjoy my boobs the way they are now and its frusrating...
if you feel the need for self-mutilation... well who am I to stop you. I've never had a problem with "wierd boobs" as you call them. people are different, and as long as the girl was cool, I really could care less if she had one breast that was larger than the other(that girlfriend knew how to party, and if she hadn't said anything, I would not have noticed the difference). Guys your age are shallow bastards, for the most part. I suggest holding off until you're out in the real world. I promise you, when you find a dude that likes you for who you are, he won't care about pesky little details.
good luck either way.
-Gunner
[view]
I've never had salmon but I LOVEEEEE sea food. Does it taste like a certain something? I'm just iffy about trying it and I would like to know how others feel about it!
salmon is delicious, so far the best recipes I've found for that wunderfisch is grilling it on a cedar plank. look it up, its tasty. on another note, while delicious and nutritious, salmon has a high metal content due to their deep-sea environment(especially mercury). this also goes for aquaculture salmon(farm raised) due to their feed. The following fish, due to high metal content are not suggested for pregnant or nursing women, and young children: mackerel, herring, salmon, swordfish, and tuna.
Now as for taste, salmon can be a little fishy at times, but as long as you get the fish fresh, and give it a gentle bath in cool water before you cook it, you're good to go. taste overall is comparable to trout.
when shopping for salmon, you're given the two choices of wild and farm-raised. wild salmon is similar to wild game, its "salmon" flavor is slightly stronger than farm-raised, and the color of the flesh is a deeper red (especially with sockeye). Coho and farm-raised are the best for grilling and baking, while sockeye is best when smoked. To a beginner, preparing salmon is pretty complicated. but after a while you get the hang of it.
enjoy
-Gunner
[view]
I'm filling out job applications and turning in resumes and I realized that I don't really want to put down one place I worked at. I worked there for a few months but I didn't like the job and it's a place around here that everybody thinks is pretty low (bad employees, bad management, bad everything). I don't want a possible employer to read it and say, "Oh, it's one of those people..." Is it acceptable for me to not include that part of my previous work experience? I feel like it would hold me back from some job opportunities in this area if I put it on my resume. I wouldn't be like lying but I'd just be excluding a part of my past, right? What do you think? I don't want to break some unspoken rule about resume techniques, of course.
you can omit things like that, but you're running the risk that they'll find out, and might get really pissed that you didn't tell them.
-Gunner
[view]
I told this guy how i felt about him .. Hes 20 and im 16 .. ive known him for four years . He told me he liked me alot && he likes everything about me except one thing my age .. I asked him if anything would ever happen between us more than friends and he said not untill im 18 .. idk what to do because i really like him and it hurts .. /= Please help ...
I concur with the previous advice. currently in a similar situation. My buddy's little sister has been after me for about three years. I'm stationed overseas, and she eventually turned 18 while I was gone on one of my delightful little crusades to afghanistan. due to my job, I've been able to maintain my distance. While I was gone, she had boyfriends and generally continued living. I suggest you do the same.
-Gunner
[view]
It started out with 1 guy noticing I had camel toe. Now every day it's pointed out to me. I don't know why I have it all the time. I asked my mom and she told me that it's normal but I know it's not because my friends don't usually have camel toe. Is there like something wrong with me and my part is bigger than other girls or something? AND how do I get rid of this stupid camel toe thing? It seems like everybody always focuses on it to laugh at me and stuff even when I dress really nice. Help
calm down. it is normal. girl parts aren't all the same, you just happen to have larger labia than the average girl. stop stressing about it, and consider a wardrobe change. perhaps you should start wearing skirts and dresses more often. flower dresses look great. and its really hard for people to look up a girl's flower dress.
and guys love a girl in a dress.
-Gunner
[view]
Me and my bf had sex two nights ago and I didnt wash my bedsheets after. He pulled out at the last minute and cummed on my bed. I went to lay down in the bed last night and noticed some sort of hardish stuff there like dried fluids but stiff like when glue kind of dries if you know what I mean. so does that mean he came on the bed and his sperm crystallized when it dried up?
yep. thats what happened. if you think thats wierd, you should see what happens to a happy sock after a few uses.
-Gunner
[view]
Hello world, my 6 years anniversary of dating with my boyfriend is coming up and i need all the ideas and places to go celebrate! i want this to be the best romantic day ever. any suggesting ideas? Thanks
first off, congrats. thats pretty badass.
second: why are you coming up with the activities? thats his job. it should be more of a him thinking "she really likes doing 'x' hobby, and eating 'y' food, and she said that 'z' movie looked really good, so I'm going to have all of that scheduled, and throw flowers into the mix"... but it may just be that I'm old-fashioned. really wish you had listed your favorite hobbies.. then I'd know for certain that a rock-climbing adventure is out of the question. perhaps a night on the town? dinner at some fancy dress-up place, checking out an art gallery, random pointless walking around town to a romantic view... I'm trying, but its kinda hard without further guidance. perhaps you guys live out in the boonies and enjoy raccoon hunting. do that then, but with flowers.
have fun
-Gunner
[view]
Every time I get my period my mom encourages me to drink a lot of water, like more than usual. She said water helps to get the period over faster and helps to reduce cramping during your period. I think it sounds kind of stupid because water is in like everything already. Just kind of curious here thought if she's right. Is it really good to drink a lot of water when you're on your period?
its not stupid. proper hydration in any situation is key to survival. sure, your food may have water in it, but not enough to keep you hydrated. headaches and cramps can be caused by dehydration. Camelback has a pretty good slogan: Hydrate, or Die. though yes, they are making a ton off of keeping soldiers hydrated, its still something good to live by. now drink water.
-Gunner
[view]
what are some non-profit organizations that do a lot of traveling to 3rd world countries (or anywhere), helping kids, or people? I want to get involved with an organization that allows me to travel as well as make a difference.
the Peace Corps.
or you could go with the armed forces option, Army Civil Affairs. pretty much the same job, but with more funding.
-Gunner
[view]
It seems like it takes me FOREVER to get comfortable in bed enough to fall asleep. I mean, seriously, sometimes I'm awake for 2 hours tossing and turning trying to get in a comfortable position. It's really weird. I was wondering why this happens? Even when I'm already tired I just can't get in the right spot. Is this normal? Should I talk to a doctor? I know my dad takes forever to go to sleep too but because he has a bad back...do you think my back is messed up too maybe and I don't know it? :-\
had the same problem for a while, maybe the following will help:
you're waiting until you're tired to go to bed.. try working out about two hours prior to your planned bed time. not a light workout either, I mean push yourself until you're too worn out to do anything else. relax and read a book afterwards, have a light snack, and when you feel you're going to pass out where you're standing, get in bed. if you're still awake after 30 minutes, get back out of bed and do something until you're tired.
after a while, your body will get the message that bed equals sleep, and you should be fine.
good luck
-Gunner
[view]
I really love penguins. They're so cute and sweet. I decided that I really want one as a pet. I know they would take a lot of care and I would have to buy a lot of fish to feed one but I think I can do it. My mom just laughed when I asked here where I can buy one so I don't think she believes I'm serious. So, like, where can you get a pet penguin at? Obviously not traditional pet stores or shops but, like, is there a place where animals like this are available to people to buy? Like an exotic animal shop maybe?
yeah, theres a place to get penguins, but you have to work for a zoo. I have only heard of one instance of somebody owning a pet penguin. it was an old sailor in Japan who had been hunting whales in the antarctic, had found the thing injured and nursed it back to health. he brought it back to Japan, and it became his fish fetcher. the animal had multiple health problems due to the climate, chronic bronchitis and fungal infections being what finally killed it. So yeah, I'm sure you'll be able to find a lunatic somewhere that'll sell you a penguin... but it'll cost a lot(a high-bred dog in america costs several thousand dollars, imagine what the bill would be for an animal from the southern hemisphere), the animal would need a water environment to play around in(not your chlorinated pool, that'll kill it), and though cute, there's a good chance that your cuddly little bird would be a cranky angry bird more inclined to peck the hell out of you than accept a hug.
exotic pets are exotic for a reason.
-Gunner
[view]
ok so my boyfriend and i are about to have sex for the first time , i'm a virgin, he's not and he has had many sexual partners 16, and i wanna have sex with him BUT i wanna ask him to get an STD test since im worried. i dont know ANYTHING about std test like how are they perform? do you ask for a special kind? or specific test? or do you just go ask for an std test and that includes getting tested for all diseases??
so 1. what kind of test should he ask for, do you have to specify which diseases you wanna get tested for?
2. how can i ask my boyfriend to get a test done without sounding rude cause he has had a bad past lots of girls including trips to amsterdam if you know what i mean ...
i am gonna ask him to get the test but i wanna make sure it isnt in vain and that im not missing on something like i dont know if you should ask to get tested for specific diseases or what
please help!
holy shit, kid. sounds like your boyfriend's been hanging out with me.
I just had a full-spectrum blood test performed a few weeks ago (I was a bit of a man-whore, and I want to make sure I'm not going to give my girlfriend anything).
the stuff you'd need to be rodded(test swab in urethra) for is the stuff that usually shows on its own (ie:the clap), and those are easily cured with antibiotics. the ones you really need to watch out for, thats where a blood test comes into play.
testing should be conducted(but not limited to) the following STDs:
herpes, HPV(genital warts), HIV, Hepatitis A, B, and C(especially C if he's been whoring around in europe), and syphyllis.
My girlfriend didn't ask, I did it on my own, so I honestly don't know how to broach the subject. perhaps you can ease into it, guide the conversation into that realm through subtle manipulation, that way he might come up with the idea himself.
oh well, have fun, stay safe, and make sure cassanova gets his shit checked.
-Gunner
EDIT-
I say hepatitis C because for 2 reasons
first being, its common.
second, while not getting much attention, is a killer. imagine HIV. if not treated, it'll make short work of a person in a few years. most people don't notice symptoms of hepatitis C infection for decades, depending on the strain. this ignorance allows the virus to be spead to more hosts. all hepatitis attack the Liver. A works at a breakneck pace(you'll never get it under control), B works pretty damn fast( a liver transplant will slow its advance), but C is the slow and silent one. by the time you realize you have a problem, its almost too late.
A member of my family has Hep C. probably got infected back in the mid 60s, and he found out about it in 2003. started interfuron(an experimental form of chemotherapy)treatment in july 2005. 4 months if interfuron nearly killed him, but did a pretty good job of knocking out the european substrain Hep C he had(Hep C has 3 substrains, and the european substrain is a teddybear in comparison to the other two). He's too weak to go back on interfuron, so when the virus comes back full-force again in 15 years or so, he's gonna be in a shitty situation.
people know about HIV and the rest of the acronyms, but what they don't realize is that those are just the "cool" ones that get headlines.
[view]
Ok, so I am 19 and a freshman in college. Throughout high school, I wasn't able to do to much dating. I was pretty sheltered. I was able to date this one guy, it was a complete mess, only because we talked off and on since my sophomore year of high school and it never got serious. Any way, now that I am in college, I feel inexperienced compared to most people. I would really like to date but I haven't met anyone.Plus I think I'm having some issues too, it's like Every time I meet a guy, I feel almost horny or shy, like I want this instant connection and i feel ashamed about that part. I just think that If i started to date a little and get use to guys then i wouldn't have that type of reaction. So how do I date?
uh, well thats kind of broad, but I can help you out with a few dos and don'ts..
DO: socialize. meet new people, make friends. good friends are key to dating, because they love to play matchmaker, and they're looking out for your best interests. its much safer and easier to have a friend say "hey, my boyfriend's buddy is really nice, do you want to go on a double date with us next friday?" than to remain an island and meet some random dude. I met my best girlfriends through friends, and the girls I picked up at bars... all turned out to be crazy.
DON'T: go to bars, nightclubs, or college parties looking to find your dream guy. its a one-in-a-billion shot to start with, and thats where a lot of douchebags hang out. By douchebag, I mean a dude who's looking to take advantage of you. I cannot count the number of times I have had to come to the rescue of some poor girl because a douchebag was feeding her drinks. you know how much it sucks to carry a girl over your shoulder while her friends lead you to a cab so they can take her home instead of continuing to drink and make merry?! but alas, doing the right thing has its own perks, like getting phone numbers and having a "knight in shining armor" reputation.
even though there's guys like me out there, stay out of those places, because the good samaritans are outnumbered, and you have "Date-rape" written all over you, miss sheltered freshman.
Also: being around girls that have boyfriends may help you out. aside from the matchmaker reflex, it will enable you to socialize with guys on a platonic level, and help you build confidence.
have fun, stay safe, and good luck kiddo.
-Gunner
[view]
http://villageofjoy.com/north-korea-most-isolated-country-in-the-world/
I came across this article on Stumbleupon.com, and it really surprised me.
Are these facts actually true, or are they exaggerated? I understand that the country is very different from the US or Europe, where I live, but some of those seem very extreme.
Does anyone have any confirmations or so?
Thank you!
the army numbers may be a little light. last I was tracking, they have 900,000 active duty servicemembers along the DMZ. usual rule of thumb when it comes to armies is to have at least 2-3 times that in reserve. the U.S. army stands right now at approximately 550,000 active duty, and we have about twice that for a reserve force. Numbers aside, the DPRK has the largest active armor and artillery forces in the world. in 2005, they had twice as many tanks(6,000 to our ~3,000) and somewhere in that neighborhood when it comes to artillery pieces.
However, most of their equipment is outdated garbage. If the north ever came across the DMZ, U.S. Forces Korea, and the ROK army would make the battle of 73 easting look like a fair fight in comparison. though that has to go with the asterisk attached that the allied forces survive the ungodly artillery barrage that would precede any such attack. My buddies that have been stationed on the DMZ all say the same thing: the DPRK army is a Juggernaut, on paper.
If you field a large Armor force on the battlefield, your primary concern is fuel. T-55s and T-62s, like every tank that has ever been made, have their fuel efficiency measured in Gallons per Mile. those wonderful pictures of downtown pyongyang attest to this. The North has been isolated since the end of the cold war, so, no traffic on the streets- not surprising. Last I heard, they have enough fuel for thirty days of combat operations. this is a best-case scenario, seeing as how the allied air forces would be bombing the hell out of every fuel dump they can find as soon as things kick off.
The crazy bird-chested bastards are on display at several points along the border where conference rooms are maintained right on the border for high profile meetings. the north korean guards are probably some of the best-fed minions in that country, and they're all skinny as hell.
with regards to the children being taught to shoot targets that depict american servicemembers, this is not something unique to the DPRK. Russian children are still taught to shoot AKs at school. The Japanese, during the endgame of the second world war, taught their kids to fight with Lances, yes, fucking Lances, against the "imperialist Americans".
The rest of those statistics make sense. ABC went with that eye doctor, and filmed a lot of the creepy shit that goes on there, including those propaganda radios. I've heard their prison camps take up about 3% of their nation's landmass, but I can't confirm that. When you're dealing with shit in the real world (yes, the U.S. and Europe are living in nice little fairy-tale lands in relation to the cruel reality in the rest of the planet), its not hard to believe that shit like this is taking place. At some point, The north's economy is going to collapse, or there is going to be a massive coup. who knows what the hell will happen then.. the german reunification was bad enough, but the DPRK never had much in the way of industry in the first place, so economically speaking, its going to be hell. As for the people- deprogramming those crazy brainwashed bastards is going to be the biggest psychological experiment ever. their "Dear Leader" is their entire world, just imagine how they're going to feel when all of that goes away.
If you want to know more, the U.S. state deparment has briefings on every country in the world on their website for travellers. pretty informative stuff.
have fun
-Gunner
[view]
So sometime in october or september, i had a crush on this guy. i thought about him a lot but my sister liked him so i had to sto thinking about him. i wanted to change the topic by designing my new bedroom for this addition getting added onto my house. i fell asleeo while planning it and i had a nightmare that i was thirsty inside of a casket and it creeped me out when i woke up. i thought it was a sign that i shouldn't think about this guy so i ignored him at school and i moved onto another guy i've always kinda secretly liked deep down inside and i absolutely fell in love. we still are and it's been the best months of my life with him. because of that dream, i wouldn't have stopped talking to that boy my sister liked. so i thought that the dream helped me! then, one day after school i was planning my bedroom again (months later because its taking forever for this addition) and i fell asleep texting my bf. it was a dream of me in my theology class room and my theology teacher told me that i was going to die in february. when i woke up, i thought i dreamt that because i was planning my bedroom before i fell asleep until i realized that it was my theology teacher.. would that be a way of god connecting to me through a teacher? anyways, i looked up what death meant in a dream dictionary and it said that there will be change. and something new will happen. iw ill be exposed to something new in general so i kinda forgot about it i was like whatever because i thought february was months away and worrying wasn't going to do anything. until just two days ago, (the dream was about one month ago) my theology teacher got into a car crash and is in stable condition but it was pretty bad i guess. he hasn't been in shcool and nobody knows how he's doing. is that dream i had warning me that i will die in a car crash or something? i'm so confused. oh yeah & then at my new year's party my boyfriend who's 16 (i'm 15) said he wanted to have sex with me on valentine's day and i thought that maybe that dream was a sign that i will exposed to something new as in being sexually active, not being a virgin? idk... i know this is ocnfusing but i just need a straight up answer. what do you guys think
CALM DOWN!
you're writing like you just snorted a line of coke. the worry is bleeding through like a water spill on a "competing brand" paper towel.
you're putting WAY to much into this dream. I had a dream that I did a combat drop with my unit into a carribbean island full of hot genetically engineered nazi chicks and killed all of them with a man-portable gatling gun, by your logic, I should be concerned about having a tragic turkey-hunting accident sometime in the future.
Dreams are what your subconscious brain uses to process things, like pent up sexual energy caused by not seeing any girls for a year while stuck on a combat deployment, or perhaps, as with the dream sequence I like to call "The Passing of The Ferret", my deep-down desire to have children. maybe you're concerned about your own mortality. oh well, people get hurt and die every day. If a dream was a fortune teller, I'd tell the fortune teller to lay off the hallucinogenic mushrooms.
just accept the wierd things your brain throws at you every night, if you don't, trying to interpret them and prevent the bad things they are "Predicting" will drive you mad.
good luck
-Gunner
[view]
I need legal and family advice. My cousin is 14 years old and lives with her mom, dad, older brother, younger sister, and baby brother. She feels as if she is not appreciated and is being mistreated. She never gets to go out and always has to look after her younger siblings. She's even thought about suicide. If her older brother does something wrong she is blamed for it and punished by her dad. He talks down to her and sometimes physically abuses her. But here's the catch, her "so-called dad" didnt sign her birth certificate because he didnt think she was he's. So my question is "If we go to the police will she be able to live with me and my mom?" and "Since her dad didnt sign her birth certificate does he have any say so in anything that goeson with her legally?"
I'm not a legal expert, but I'd say going to child protective services is a great idea. toxic environments suck for kids.. I kinda went through the same bullshit when I was a young. Once I got outta that situation, I started kicking ass. If you guys are next-of-kin, its a pretty good bet that she'd live with you. but like I said, the only legal system that I know anything about is the uniform code of military justice. and I'm sure that doesn't apply in her case.
good luck
-Gunner
[view]
Okay so so I have this like flap of skin on the right side of my vagina just inside the lip I don't have it on the other side though. Its like kinda stretchy and just stands out from everything. It doesn't hurt or anything like that but I was just wondering if it was normal. I don't like to let guys touch me or see down there because of this.
Thanks
if a guy actually gives a shit about that little flap of skin, then he's a shallow asshole. don't worry about it, humans aren't totally symmetrical. I bet if you look closely in the mirror, you'll notice that one of your eyes is higher than the other. thats case in point.
have a good day.
-Gunner
[view]
Does any body have an estimate for how much car insurance would cost for a 16 year old girl, driving a 2006 Hyundai in Houston, Texas.
geico, state farm, and progressive can give you quotes on auto insurance from their website.
-Gunner
[view]
|
