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How to start dating in college???
Ok, so I am 19 and a freshman in college. Throughout high school, I wasn't able to do to much dating. I was pretty sheltered. I was able to date this one guy, it was a complete mess, only because we talked off and on since my sophomore year of high school and it never got serious. Any way, now that I am in college, I feel inexperienced compared to most people. I would really like to date but I haven't met anyone.Plus I think I'm having some issues too, it's like Every time I meet a guy, I feel almost horny or shy, like I want this instant connection and i feel ashamed about that part. I just think that If i started to date a little and get use to guys then i wouldn't have that type of reaction. So how do I date?
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Being sheltered, is not a cause for the way you feel. As long as you've had media outlets such as music, movies and news, school, and etc... They is probably not much you haven't at least heard of already... If your feel inexperienced, then you probably are. Is not a bad thing, just something that needs to be handled and tended with care. Since you know when you're horny... I going to presume that you've had sex before, but may not have been in a relationship per say at the time. (If I am off-base, I apologized. It's just that in order to know what horny actually is over what you've heard or perceive "horny" to be... you will mostly likely need to know how you feel about sex and how it feels to abstain from it... ergo... horny)
I am unsure if you had held male-based friendships with guys. Usually if you have maybe you would know more about controlling or submitting to the usrges you seem to have. (Assuming that you don't hang around unattractive people anyways...)
As a female, usually instant attraction involves the abilty to notice guys without being noticed. OR guys ability to attempt to apprehend your female attention. Ideally, dating don't usually happen as soon as you met someone. Dating happens when you set a date to meet continually after the introductions and feel-out convos (via phone, text, internet, and etc).
Learn you're goals, dreams and hopes for "how" you like to meet guys, but be focused on the realities of how people intercept each other naturally as well.
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uh, well thats kind of broad, but I can help you out with a few dos and don'ts..
DO: socialize. meet new people, make friends. good friends are key to dating, because they love to play matchmaker, and they're looking out for your best interests. its much safer and easier to have a friend say "hey, my boyfriend's buddy is really nice, do you want to go on a double date with us next friday?" than to remain an island and meet some random dude. I met my best girlfriends through friends, and the girls I picked up at bars... all turned out to be crazy.
DON'T: go to bars, nightclubs, or college parties looking to find your dream guy. its a one-in-a-billion shot to start with, and thats where a lot of douchebags hang out. By douchebag, I mean a dude who's looking to take advantage of you. I cannot count the number of times I have had to come to the rescue of some poor girl because a douchebag was feeding her drinks. you know how much it sucks to carry a girl over your shoulder while her friends lead you to a cab so they can take her home instead of continuing to drink and make merry?! but alas, doing the right thing has its own perks, like getting phone numbers and having a "knight in shining armor" reputation.
even though there's guys like me out there, stay out of those places, because the good samaritans are outnumbered, and you have "Date-rape" written all over you, miss sheltered freshman.
Also: being around girls that have boyfriends may help you out. aside from the matchmaker reflex, it will enable you to socialize with guys on a platonic level, and help you build confidence.
have fun, stay safe, and good luck kiddo.
-Gunner
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