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Q: my heart has been doing weird stuff so i was looking what can be wrong with the heart and it said "coronary artery disease" but i don't know what that means. can some one please explain so a 16 year old can understand?
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The Coronary artery feeds the heart muscle. Typically coronary artery disease means that blood flow through the artery has been restricted, causing pain and damage to the heart muscle. Usually this is something wich happens later in life from substances which build up in the artery, restricting and eventually clogging it, bringing on the stereotypical heart attack. This is not something normally seen in younger people. Since I am not a doctor and I have only the description of \"weird stuff\" as symptoms to go on, it would be best to talk to a doctor. He will best be able to determine whether what you are experiencing is serious or not. If talking to a doctor is a problem, try the school nurse.
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Q: I have a friend who is way to jealous.. thinks its ok for her to do stuff and not her husband. we are all cool and hang out although my boyfriend knew I had went to a friends house to hang out with him without the wife there. she dont know bc she is crazy and she would flip out if she new I was there without her.. she has flipped out once before acting like she was goin to throw things.. she dont even like her husband watching t.v bc she's that jealous. She has been caught talkn to her ex. but yet accuses her husband of doing this or that when he is innocent. What advice should i give my friend to help him out.
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Advise him to get some marriage counseling, because there is more going on here than a bit of advice from a friend is going to solve. In fact, it concerns me that you would go hang out with this guy when his wife is not around knowing that she would be very upset if she knew. It gives her a reason to be paranoid and it puts her husband in the position of having to either hide something from her (more reason for her to be paranoid and creating more disconnect in the relationship) or tell her about it later and face her angry reaction.
If her expectations and behavior are in fact unreasonable - and they may not be, if one knew her history and had an unbiased, detailed look at their day to day interactions - a marriage counselor would help him to make decisions, set boundaries, and change his own behavior to better the situation. He would help your friend gain insight into her behavior, his own behavior, and the dynamics of their relationship. Ideally, they should both go to marriage counseling and learn how to build trust and intimacy with each other, but in any case, he should certainly go.
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Q: I am a 20 year old female. As the title sums it up, I really can't stop lying. I make up stories about almost anything and about the silliest things. sometimes I don't realize that I'm lying but now that I do I see how much it is affecting important aspects of my life. My relationship with my boyfriend is being jeopardized by this, and recently my lies have been catching up to me. I don't want to be this person, any advice on how to stop?
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Two of the most important elements are already in place: awareness and desire to change. It may be useful to explore why you lie. Is it to make yourself look better, and consequently be more accepted, even admired by others? Is it to create a fantasy story for yourself because you don't like your reality? Is it to escape a negative consequence - punishment or unpleasant reactions from others? Is it because you sometimes have difficulty distinguishing imagination from reality? Considering why you lie can help you to get at the root of the problem and reduce the motivation to lie.
As far as the behavior itself, whatever its roots, the process of change is similar to any other habit you are trying to break. Pay attention to what you are thinking and saying. Give yourself a quick reality check before speaking. When a lie wants to come out, stop yourself and compose yourself to speak the truth.
Change is a lifelong process, and the time has come for this change in your life. Focus on the person you want to be - truthful, clear eyed, embracing and engaging in reality - and direct your energy and actions toward becoming that person. You CAN control what you say. Like any skill, focus and practice will enable you to master it.
If the lying is a symptom of an underlying personal issue, then that issue must be addressed as well, which will be part of the process of fundamental change that helps you become the person you want to be. It may be as simple as becoming aware of why you do what you do, or it may need the insight of a professional counselor or therapist.
The first lie I want you to stop telling yourself is that you can't stop. You can and, with a little focused effort, you will.
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Q: Hi, so I went in for an interview a couple of weeks ago for Walgreens and he gave me the drug test sheet to take and I had to wait for the drug test to come back. The interview went well. After they received the results, he then called me to let me know that there isn't enough budgetting for me to start working yet since the people who were suppose to leave haven't left yet. He said hI got the job and he would call me back when there was available hours and it's been a whole week since he called. I was beginning to worry that I really didn't get the job...so I called him and I found out that he will be getting transferred to another Walgreens. It sounds like he's also one of the three people who are leaving. What is going on? He's the hiring manager that hired me, and if another manager comes in for him I don't really have a connection to work there anymore. Should I start looking for a different job? Or wait? It's been a couple of weeks and I really need to start working. I get depressed if I don't have anything to do.
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No point in suspending your job search to wait on someone to make up their mind. If you "got the job", you should have gone in to fill out paperwork at some point, and it doesn't sound like that has happened. If you get another job offer while Walgreens is dithering, and you would prefer the Walgreens job over the current offer, you can always call them and give them a final opportunity to give you something concrete. Otherwise, you and they are just wasting the time you could be using to move forward to gainful employment.
If you have truly been hired, your paperwork will be in the files for the new hiring manager. I would contact him, or whoever fills that role, and ask about your status and when you might start work. A new hiring manager probably isn't going to be aware of you, so you'll need to bring yourself to his attention.
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Q: I have replaced the alternator, spark plugs, engine coils and battery. My car died the other day I change the spark plugs and it ran for a day or two then died again. What else could it be?
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Have you checked for fuel pressure? A clogged fuel filter or malfunctioning fuel pump are a couple of possibilities. If your spark is good, then it may be not getting fuel or not enough air. So, some things to check off the top of my head: fuel pressure (pump, possible vapor lock, debris in fuel system, clogged filter, clogged or malfunctioning injectors), dirty air filter or other obstructions in air intake system.
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Q: Okay, so I'm 18, female and in my last year of secondary school (or high school) and there's this guy in my class who has been flirting with me over the past few months.
At the start it was just general flirting, but soon he started feeling my legs whenever I sat beside him, and even when I told him to stop, he'd still keep doing it.
Then he asked me in January to go to the debs (Irish version of 'prom') with him and I said okay, but a month or so later he said that he wasn't sure if he was going ... I still don't know if he is or not.
Then he kept up the usual flirting and annoying me until a few weeks ago when it was a non-uniform day in school. I wasn't wearing anything seductive, or whatever, but he kept feeling me up all through the day and I told him so many times that I didn't want him to do it, but he kept on doing it.
The next day I gave out to him and he said sorry and that he'd never do it again ...
Then he asked me for my number, and I don't know why I gave it to him, but I did ...
So since then he's been texting me about nothing but sex-related things.
He started asking me all about the guys I have had sex with before, which was completely none of his business.
He suggested having no-strings attached sex with me, and I said that I would never do that. So he asked me if I did have feelings for him, and I said yeah, because I just do (I don't know why).
Then he said that he would go out with me, but he thinks it sounds gay ... Which makes NO sense at all since I'm a girl.
Two nights ago he was asking me why I don't take dirty pictures and I told him that I never would ... and then last night he sent me a dirty picture! I went mad at him, and he said that he was sorry, but then he tried to convince me to send one back ... so I told him to text me again when he's not thinking about sex, and he hasn't since then.
I know most guys are crazy about sex, but I don't want a guy who's just going to talk about it to me constantly. I don't even know why he talks about sex so much because he's a virgin, and everything he knows is just from what he hears from his friends and what he sees on p*rn.
Should I tell him that I want someone much, much more than a sex-obsessed fool?
Should I explain to him that I'm tired of talking about sex?
Should I just ignore him?
I just don't know what to do about him!
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Since he has demonstrated that he is immature, has little awareness of, much less respect for boundaries, does not share or respect your values, exercises poor judgement and fails to exercise appropriate self-control, my fatherly advice would be to distance yourself from him as much as possible. You could try explaining that you are looking more for a man than a boy and that you're tired of talking about sex, but I doubt he's likely to change any time soon, especially if you continue to pay attention to him despite his behavior.
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Q: F/16
My boyfriend for about 7 months and he doesn't seem to be interested as much anymore. He's not affectionate like he used to be, he never really wants to spend time with me, he always used to say "yes" when I had plans for us but now he says "I'll let you know" he never texts me, I used to wake up with good morning texts and he never does that... I text him first every day but he seems like he can't be bothered with me anymore, the way he's texting. I've asked time and time if there's anything at all wrong and he says there's nothing, we have been arguing a lot lately because of this, I say he's changed. I say I'm done, but I come back and ask him for another chance, and it seems like it's my fault, but is it? Then he says keep saying you're done with me, I'm not taking you back. But now after the last time I said it, we sorted it and everything but now it's still totally different, if I say anything about why he's being different, he's going to think I'm causing an argument when I'm not, I've asked him plenty of times and he says there's nothing wrong, but there is, I can feel it in the way we speak.
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Here's just a thought: read your text above, and then think about how much fun spending time with you must be. I'm not being snarky or trying to insult you, but it sounds like the time you two spend together is full of tension and unmet (and probably unmeetable) expectations. Tension, drama, and demands wear men out.
You ask him if something is wrong, he says no. You keep asking him, and you are convinced he's not telling you something. Maybe he's telling the truth, maybe not. Either way, that continual challenging is not fun for him. Even if you're not saying anything now, he can probably still pick up the vibe from you that you don't believe him.
If you truly like being with him, like him as a person, enjoy who he is, etc. Then try to find ways to make your time together and your communication enjoyable and pleasant and desirable for him.
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Q: Ok so I'm 25, I'm a female, and pretty much I'm in love with a guy that isn't aware of my existence at all...
We are both from different states,
I first spotted him on Myspace, to facebook, and even twitter...
I thought he was the cutest guy ever, but I'll never
approach a guy, so I just like watched him, from the way he interacts with his friends, I love looking at his pictures, and judging from them he has a sense of humor out of this world.
Like he's the most gorgeous man I've ever laid eyes on, I love the way he dress, he's swag is out of this world...
Not to mention he's a business man, has he's own website, highly out going
Ugh I could go on forever...
So here's this I know I might sound in over my head, but I'm just that hopeless romantic type girl, like I'm the chick who believes in soulmates...
And for some reason I can't get this guy outta my mind.
I want to say something, but I just can't work up the nerve...
I even planned to fly to his city to just see him in person, but even in person I will never have the nerve to even say anything...
I mean, I'm a pretty young lady, I always get approached by men...
But I just want him, or at least a shot...
I'm reaching out to strangers Cuz I could never tell any of my friends, even family this...
What do you think about my situation??
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Some of us have been around the block a few times, so we've learned to allow our brains to inform our hearts. So, with that said, why not start out small? The only way you're going to know if you have any future with this guy is to get to know him. Don't go flying to his city and drop in on him unexpectedly - there's a whole host of reasons why that's a bad idea at this point. DO find a way to introduce yourself (or have someone else introduce you) to him. Say "hi" to him on one of his accounts. Start talking to him online. He'll get to know you, and you'll get to know him in a more personal way. If that goes well, realize that both of you are internet personas to each other, and consequently there is a LOT you still won't know about each other, but you should know by this time whether you want to talk by phone and/or meet up in person.
In short, nothing can come of this unless you do something to make that happen. But, the things you do to make that happen need to be safe and smart.
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Q: Okay so I'm a 19 year old female and over time I fell in love with my ex, Drew. I know it's love since I've never felt like this before for anybody. Well over Thanksgiving break we went to our own houses. When we got back he told me he did something bad. At first he wouldn't tell me but when he did I felt like my whole would was falling apart. He told me that over break, he went out to a party and drank a lot. Some girl kissed him, he kissed her back and so on. I was so caught in the moment that I ended it right then and there. a week later, I find out that him and this girl started dating. I still have strong feelings for him and as stupid as it is, I want him back. He flirts with me a lot, and told my friend that he wants to see how long his new relationship lasts but if he didn't have a girlfriend currently, he'd definitely consider taking me back. Should I even try to get him back or should I just try my best to move on? Please help me... I'm stuck.
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Yes, you should move on. Don't be his "backup plan." He moved on plenty fast when you broke up with him. If he truly valued having a relationship with you, he would have made more of an effort to win you back instead of taking up with the new girl. He needs to grow up before he is ready for a serious relationship and, if a serious relationship is what you want, you need to move on and find someone who is ready for that. They are out there, and it's worth the effort to find them.
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Q: Hi everyone! This is a toughy but I feel so sorry for her and would love to help her.
My boyfriend has had a staffie cross (I think) for the past 2/3 years, she was 3 or so when he got her and she didn't have a great life before. She was raised by drug dealers essentially to attack people and I believe she was beaten about a few times as well, now my boyfriend has her and has made her a very friendly and well behaved dog. She used to have accidents but I don't think it was very often before, now however, whenever we get home theres a poo/wee on the floor. We take her out before bed, in the morning and before we go out and we never leave her long, the past 2 times we've been gone less than an hour and took her out just before we left as well!
I'm sure she can't help it but it is bothering my bf greatly, he wants to get rid of her because she doesn't listen anymore, I don't agree with his punishments for her but when she behaves he is lovely with her.
I've been reading around and been told about Seperation anxiety and a few other things but mostly that we should take her to the vet. I am somewhat worried he'll be insulted if I say we should do that so if anyone has any understanding of these situations it would be greatly appreciated.
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I don't know why your boyfriend would be insulted at the suggestion he take his dog to the vet. That is the most sensible thing to do. The vet will be able to check for physical problems, and will probably have some good ideas as to solutions if the problem isn't physical. If your BF has had the dog for three years and she as about three when he got her, she's only about six, which isn't really that old for a dog, so age related problems such as weakened bladder or bowel control or dementia wouldn't be my first guess in this case.
The solution may be behavior training, medication, or possibly a doggy door or a means of going potty indoors such as puppy pads or the specially designed indoor doggy potty (google it and you'll see what I mean). It is even possible that your boyfriend needs the behavior training as he may be inadvertantly shaping her undesired behavior. Whatever the case, I'd say a vet visit would be the first place to start.
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Q: How does one pick up d pieces of her life after being dealt a horrible blow?How does she get rid of the naggin thoughts of ending her life?
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You don't go into much detail, so I'm left kind of guessing here. If someone claimed to love you and then hurt you terribly, you start by grieving properly. Have a good cry. Draw mustaches on all his pictures. Get it out of your system and it will help you face the future more calmly. Then, realize that he showed something of his true self and has done you a favor by doing so, enabling you to not waste any more of your life on him.
Secondly, you realize that you are still a whole person who has a life to live, has things to offer to the world. You refocus on those things and on healthy relationships and begin the process of healing. Those pieces will come back together, and they will make you wiser going forward.
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Q: M/17
My mom was 16 when she had me. My dad didn't think it was his so he moved and only comes by on occasion. But my mom met a guy 3 years later at a party and has been with him ever since. I was quite a brat when I was younger so he broke up with my mom because of me a few times. But after a while the only way he disciplined me was by beating me. Since I was still young I figured that everyone got beat like I did. So once I started getting older and into school, I started going into school with a new bruise on my face, I had to blame it on this sport...wrestling. This sport has ruined my life. I have no social life, barely any other life than this. My life revolves around this sport. When I was a young wrestler, my mom would video tape the matches. When we got home he would make me watch them, and every bad mistake I made.... Was another blow to the face. This continued for the longest time. I began to hate this sport. Until about my sixth year I finally got good enough to start winning all the time. But now he just punishes me by making me lose weight all the time. He still hits me. I've had so many concussions in my life, idk if it was from wrestling or him. But now he says that all those beating when I was younger made me into a decent man.....I believe he only made me into a man that is afraid of life. It's gotten to the point to when he tries being nice to me and hugging me...I end up flinching instead. He jokes about it all the time. I just can't wait to move out. I'm never allowed out with my friends. He won't let me get a job. He says "wrestling is my job" well I absolutely hate this job. I want to quit, but I'm afraid of him hitting me again. I just have no clue what to do. My mom just sits back and watches and she even knows that he has cheated on her before. But I don't know what to do. I've gone into drugs, cutting myself, thoughts of suicide all the time. I just can't find anything to help me...
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You need to tell this to a school counselor, for starters. He or she will be able to refer you to resources for help. In fact, if you live in the US, they will be legally obligated to report this abuse (and that is abuse, nothing less) to the authorities. Drugs and cutting, as you have discovered, do not help. Suicide will not solve the problem. You need to get help from those who are trained in dealing with these types of situations. That doesn't mean that everything will instantly get better, but it will start you on the road to recovery and a more hopeful future.
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Q: idc i just want bigger boobs everyone says i need them so
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Everyone says you need them? Is everyone going to pay for the procedure? No? Then they have no say in that decision whatsoever. It's none of their damn business and they need to confine their attention to their own inadequacies. And that is really what this is about, a displacement of their own sense of inadequacy.
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Q: Hi!! So um long story short I was very stupid and poured hot (not steaming hot but still hot) water from the kettle into a plastic sippy cup which melted causing the water to burn 3 of my fingers. I've tried running it under cool water and my mom told me to put polysporine on it but it still is burning. My fingers are swollen I have a blister the size of a small blueberry on my index finger and two smaller ones (one each on my other two fingers) . My fingers feel like they are burning but they're not red. What else can I do for my burn(s)?
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You'll probably be fine. It'll take a while for everything to heal up, but I have burned my hands and fingers a number of times over the years, and you'd never know it. Keep the burns clean and protected. Don't pop the blisters (hard to resist, I know, but they help keep the burns sterile. Obviously, see a doctor if it becomes infected or isn't healing properly or just for peace of mind.
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Q: Can you download while your computer is in safe mode?
My computer won't download anything. It says its missing some '.exe' file and I don't know what to do. if I put it in safe mode will it be able to download stuff?
I can't access a lot of my programs on the computer, I can't go to control panel, itunes, adobe reader or anything. It says I don't have the correct program to access anything or download on my computer.
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I'm no computer expert, so I'm going to ask an obvious question. Have you tried System Restore? If you boot up in safe mode you should be able to do a system restore. Hopefully you have a backup date that includes the missing file.
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Q: There are 2 guys....let's call them J and K.
J is my bf of almost 5 months. He sees a future with me, kids, a house. He is a nice guy. Very sweet. But makes big mistakes in our relationship...like hanging out with girls, texting them, stuff like that. He says he loves me with allhis heart. But I honestly don't know.....J and K both hate eachother with a burning passion btw. Enough that J told meto stop talking to him. I've known J for 6 years. He seriously liked me ever since this year. Saying he wanted a future and stuff. Even though we've dated before and it hasent worked out. He never liked me like this when we dated last year.
K is my best guy friend. We tell eachother anything and everything. I've known him for 3 years. He liked me ever since me and him met. He's very sweet and caring of me. He says all the tim if someone hurts me, he will hurt them. Its so sweet. He says sweeter thinkg than J, and he's also nicer to me. But the catch is....K isn't a very good kid.....he does drugs, goes to juvy alot, and a bunch of other stuff. He said he was willing to stop for me. I asked J and K what they would do if I had to move away....their responses were
J-"be very sad and miss you a lot"
K-"run away with you, I wouldn't be able to stand not talking to you for the rest of my life"
Yeah, K also says that he will never leave me if we dated. He sayd that he would treat me right....like how a woman is sopposto be treated. J used to be a major manwhore....he used girls all the time. He sayd I'm different though. K said all J wants is sex and fighting....but idk......I'm just so confused right now....ive been told by tons of people that J and I are cute, but I've also been told Tht k and I would be cute......what should I do?!:'c
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My advice is short and ...well...maybe not too sweet. Frankly, I don't see either one of them as a desirable catch. K talks a good game, but it's easy to talk. It's easy to say that that he will stop the drugs and misbehavior for you, but it's hard to change a lifestyle, hard to permanently shake a drug habit. He doesn't appear to have any track record that would demonstrate his ability to live up to his promises.
J doesn't sound very mature, either. Now, maybe both of these guys will someday be fine, upstanding men (not the boys they are today) who have the strength and maturity to take care of their woman and their family, but they both have a lot of growing up to do before they can demonstrate their character with their actions and not just their words.
On the other hand, if K is in and out of juvy, I'm guessing you all are minors and you all have a lot of maturing ahead of you. That's not an insult, just reality. What this means is, there is no need to rush into things, and you have plenty of time to see what other choices of men there are out there before committing your life to any of them.
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Q: i am a female and 24 yrs old. i am in a relationship with a boy from last one and a half yr. he was my classmate and we were very good friends for two yrs.the problem is that guy i love was into a relationship before we met...and that relationship was going well. i was secretly in luv with him during our studies bt never let him know about it...but later on aftr one and a half year he jst realised it that i loved him. i don't know how bt he also started liking me. we knew dat we like each other but didn't talked much about it because he was already committed to someone else. when he got job after studies and we departed.. he called me on phone and cried that he loves me alot and cannot live without me...i also luved him but told him that he must not ditch the girl he has in his life but he said that if he marries her...he won't be able to live happy himself and also wont be able to keep her happy either...since then we are together and i realised that he was not wrong..he truely loves me...and it took some time for him to move away from that girl which was painful for him and for me too. i know most of our friends are going to blame me for this but if i am going to leave him or if i would have left him in between he would have died. i want to know that whatever we did...was it right or we were wrong???? what else i could have done to sort out this problem? i really need your advice because this is something i cannot share with someone else
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I'll be honest, he doesn't sound like a very emotionally stable or mature guy. In fact, he sounds emotionally manipulative. It is not your responsibility to "keep him alive" by being his emotional and romantic crutch. It may actually be a good thing for his former girlfriend that he moved on. Anyway, the past is the past and now you two are together. I'd say take it slow and easy, though. What if he meets some other girl he "can't live without?" Only you are married or have children by then? I don't think he understands how happiness in relationships works, so I'm not very optimistic about the long-term prospects of your relationship. Maybe I'm wrong, and in some ways I hope I am. All I'm saying is take care.
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Q: My neighbor is dating my ex-boyfriend.I dated this guy for a really long time. He even stalked me for awhile, and hes only dating her too upset me. I don't care what he does anymore, Ive moved on, but it kills me to see her get used. Ive told her everything but shes 15 and wont listen. My ex however, is 19. I'm not comfortable seeing the two of them together.
My question is, how can her to realize he's only using her?
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Don't give him the satisfaction by reacting. They have to make their own choices and suffer the consequences. Though your neighbor is still a minor and that could have legal complications. I would make sure her parents know that she is dating the 19 year old and leave them to their parental responsibility. You have already talked to your neighbor and that's all you can do.
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Q: I've been with my wife for 12 years now... 6 of which have been living with her parents helping to take care of her father ( who passed away a few years ago ) and now helping her mother and paying bills. I gave up my life in my home state to be with my wife. I haven't seen my father since my wedding 6 years ago.. I have not seen my mother since MOVING HERE. ( quite frankly we are poor ) Ever since I got here I've been an outsider despite my efforts to be nice and do what needs to be done. I have worked hard to fit into their culture and family to no avail. Finally I gave up and just resided myself to trying to stay out of the way and not bother anyone. Not only do I have that going against me but I'm extremely over weight. ( My weight comes from not knowing the dangers of Rice when I move here until it was to late ) Anyways I've always been on the outside looking in no matter what. Some body talks shit about my wife.. I'm not allowed to respond cause of the problems it might cause. Someone talks shit about me? Same thing. Best examples I can give are when my wife's Grand Father passed away they had a microphone set up for anyone who felt the need to say a few things about Herman ( the grandfather ) This man was one of 2 people in this family that NEVER judged me... he welcomed me with open arms and a smile. I felt compelled to say something.... Well later on I hear that one of the daughters and her husband had some pretty mean things to say about me and how I WAS DISRESPECTFUL. I wanted to confront them.. not angry but still talk to them face to face... nope.. wasn't allowed. Just recently my sister-in-law's husband while drunk tried to boast about getting one gun and drawing it on me to confront me about a problem. Of course I wasn't there when he said it. My wife to me about it and quiet honestly I was angry.. I wanted to confront him... nope.. not allowed. IF I did the sister-in-law would take her 5 year old daughter and not let the family see her for a few months... ( which she'll do anyways when she gets into a fight with one of the other family members ) so nope.. not allowed. Never mind if he had said that about my wife she would of hunter his ass down... my brother-in-law would of kicked his ass... and my mother-in-law would of thrown him out on his ass... nope.. I can't say shit. I have been putting up with keeping my mouth shut for TWELVE YEARS. I dedicate half of my income to this house to help pay bills.. I have to buy my own food.. even use a separate outdoor bathroom cause I'm not allowed to use the house one. I'm not the lower rung on the ladder.. I'm not even on the fucking thing!!!! I have been known as the quiet.. laid back kind of guy that can get over everything... however I find myself just building in anger over this last straw.. I glance at my wife and feel nothing but anger....My thoughts have even started turning to inflicting physical harm and even just blind murder rage... how much can one man take? I gave up my life and my family for this?!?!?! I love my wife....but As much as I love her and don;t ever want to leave her.. I sometimes feel if I don;t... I WILL kill someone.. or more.
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This reminds me of those nature documentaries where a wasp lays its eggs in a caterpillar. The larvae slowly eat the caterpillar from the inside while it is still alive, eventually killing it and bursting out of its empty body.
If you are giving half of your income to the household, you have a right to use the indoor toilet. Who is telling you you can't use the indoor toilet, or confront people (or at least defend yourself), or make any waves? If that person or persons is being supported by you, they are talking out of turn. What percentage of the total household income are you paying, and where does the other half of your income go? If you are the primary provider for that household, then you deserve the respect that goes with that. Maybe it's time you stopped trying to adapt to their culture and they start adapting to yours to an equitable degree.
Here's the thing: I don't mind someone sacrificing their means or their own desires if that sacrifice is for a worthy outcome. But, in this situation, are these people better off because you have relieved them of some financial burdens but they are ungrateful and disrespectful? Will your continued support lead to their becoming grateful, respectful, and considerate of others? If not, what is the point in continuing to throw resources down that hole?
Maybe it's time to make it clear what you contribute to the household. Mama-in-law like to stay warm? Oh, look who pays the heating bill. MIL like to watch TV? Oh, look who pays the cable and electric bills. MIL like to use the indoor toilet? Oh, look who pays the water bill.
I don't know how helpful any of this is to you, though I think these are some things to think about. It would be good to talk these matters over with someone who doesn't have a vested interest in the household, because you need advice and support on making some serious relational, financial, legal, and logistical matters.
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Q: Hey.
12/F
So saturday is my B-day. I am very exited coz I can bring a friend with me on the weekend. But I have one problem my grandfather (not my real one) always screams at me or fight with me. I don't want to tell him coz I don't want to hurt his feelings. Or my grandmothers. When we go and visit him he wants me to scrub tke pots like every night.
HELP ME PLZ
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I'm a little unclear as to what the problem is. Are you going to your grandfather's place for your birthday, or is he coming to your place? Have you talked to your parents about this? They should be "running interference" for you on this. They should be dealing with your grandparents. I would not allow my parents to scream at my daughter or make unreasonable demands of her. If they did, they would not be invited over and I would not have you visiting them. I suppose you'll be reading this too late as it is now Saturday. I'll be curious as to how things turn out.
The place to start would be to talk to your parents about this.
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Info
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Gender: Male Location: Minnesnowta Occupation: Mail Processing Equipment Mechanic Age: 51 Member Since: May 30, 2011 Answers: 76 Last Update: April 25, 2014 Visitors: 4774
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