I have a friend who is way to jealous.. thinks its ok for her to do stuff and not her husband. we are all cool and hang out although my boyfriend knew I had went to a friends house to hang out with him without the wife there. she dont know bc she is crazy and she would flip out if she new I was there without her.. she has flipped out once before acting like she was goin to throw things.. she dont even like her husband watching t.v bc she's that jealous. She has been caught talkn to her ex. but yet accuses her husband of doing this or that when he is innocent. What advice should i give my friend to help him out.
[ Answer this question ] Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category? Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life? Imperfectionist answered Tuesday April 15 2014, 4:42 pm: She is probably very insecure and there might be some other issues in there relationship that you aren't aware of nor is it your business. And there also might have been some relationships in the past for her that made her that way. I do have to say you as a woman shouldn't hang out with a woman's husband especially if she is a friend alone without her knowing because that puts you in a very bad position and if I walked in on my friend and husband alone, I don't give a damn if they were planning my surprise birthday party, I'm going to be on high alert and me personally i'm a firecracker so I would have freaked. Another reason that she could be that way is because she's the one cheating. A lot of people do that. control the other and act like they are always doing something wrong when they are the ones doing it. It's a disgusting hypocritical trait and if you know that is what your friend is doing, as a friend you need to tell her that is not right. especially if you have a friendship with the husband. otherwise I'd leave this issue alone unless your friend comes to you for advice on how she acts. [ Imperfectionist's advice column | Ask Imperfectionist A Question ]
Rumely answered Monday April 14 2014, 5:45 am: Advise him to get some marriage counseling, because there is more going on here than a bit of advice from a friend is going to solve. In fact, it concerns me that you would go hang out with this guy when his wife is not around knowing that she would be very upset if she knew. It gives her a reason to be paranoid and it puts her husband in the position of having to either hide something from her (more reason for her to be paranoid and creating more disconnect in the relationship) or tell her about it later and face her angry reaction.
If her expectations and behavior are in fact unreasonable - and they may not be, if one knew her history and had an unbiased, detailed look at their day to day interactions - a marriage counselor would help him to make decisions, set boundaries, and change his own behavior to better the situation. He would help your friend gain insight into her behavior, his own behavior, and the dynamics of their relationship. Ideally, they should both go to marriage counseling and learn how to build trust and intimacy with each other, but in any case, he should certainly go. [ Rumely's advice column | Ask Rumely A Question ]
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