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My mom wont let me wear thongs either
i am 14 as well and i've been so insecure about panty lines since the 6th grade. I absolutely hate them and they make me feel feel uncomfortable.Its something that would just make me feel a lot more confident and less embarassed. I even cut up my normal underwear attempting to make thongs. Yea some of my friends wear them. It influences me in a way. I want them for me and not to show off to friends or boys. Im not like that and i never will be. Im a straight a student at the moment and a competitve soccer player. My parents trust me and i trust them. Why do they think the type of under wear i wear will make me magically a slut? My friend bought me some thongs and just normal under wear from PINK. They were super cute. Before this, i didnt know my parents felt so strong about thongs and i thought it was ok since so many of my friends wear them. My mom was moving over my laundry and found a thong. She got very upset thinking i was hiding it from her. I told her my friend got them for me and she thought i was lying. I started crying because i wasn lying and if i knew how she felt i would have told her about it. I was so happy to not feel so insecure about my panty line and she took them away from me.
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Is there an adult female or even someone a few years older than you ie a sibling that mom respects and listens to and you trust? If so, I would enlist their help. Have them explain to her that you lack self confidence about pantyline and feel very insecure and upset and that a thong makes you feel confident.
They can also drive home that you have god character and that a pair of underwear regardless of style won't make you interested in sex or doing what you shouldn't with boys.
Better yet talk to your friend's mom about all of this and what your mom did when your friend bought you said underwear and about your self-esteem. If she sees that your friend isn't magically a slut maybe she'll see it your way and understand from another mom why it's a non issue in their house.
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You make some good point. The problem is you are 14 and your mom has made up her mind concerning her feelings about thongs. You are as they say between a rock and a hard place fro trying to have a discussion with mom on the subject is futile as she will just cut you off. Am I right on this.
My son when he was a teenager found a unique way to have a discussion with me or at least force me to hear him out. He sent me emails with his, mostly, well thought out reasons for why I should consider his view or reason.
It is obvious mom has her mind made up. I would suggest you take a page from my son and sit down and write mom a letter. Make sure you run your spell checker as you don't want to give mom something to debate. You want her to read you side of the story. Be specific as you were with us. Then print the letter out and leave it on the table when you leave for school or put it in her purse for her to find when she goes to work.
My son got through to me, he did not always win his battle but he won more than he was losing before he started to write to me. YEs parents can be hard headed and I was at that time.
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That's a tricky one since parents take a somewhat different view of things from that of an impartial party. I think your argument for thongs sounds perfectly reasonable and well-considered. Your mother probably sees them as some gateway to a slutty and promiscuous daughter! Have you made the comfort and confidence argument in full with your Mom yet? In a rational and measured way? If not, script it like you've written it here and try it. Your thong-wearing friends could well be the persuader you need. Are their moms and yours friendly? If she could see quite clearly that her friend's daughter of 14 wears thongs and has apparently NOT been transformed into a promiscuous, sex-mad flirt, flashing them to any boy available it will probably help your case no end. Talking things over with other adults in the same position/situation often gives us a much clearer perspective. Over-reactions are seen as such. And the really important things (your grades, and obvious self-respect for instance) also take up their proper place and value. Obviously, if one of the thong-wearing gang has got a tendency to flirt and play-up to the guys a bit, make sure you choose a different advocate for your case! Choose someone rather like yourself, and who's Mom is rather like yours in their values and outlook.
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