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pls help
Hello I'm 14 and I have a problem. There is a girl I like but she is dating a junior but in a way I think she also likes me. She's been single before and she's dropped hints but I am always too scared to ask. On the last day of school she kept calling me dads cuz her boyfriend wasn't around and held on my shoulder if she is single should I go for it?
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If a girl is flirting and dropping hints to a guy while she's dating another guy. That should honestly be taken as a red flag. If a girl is doing that now, when you get with her.. don't you think she will do the same thing? I'd find another single girl in the sea that you see isn't the type to flirt with other guys while in a relationship.
I've seen this same scenario go down way many times.
And as far as her boyfriend being a friend of yours, another red flag. Bros before Hos I believe is the expression?
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Yes you should go for it since she trusts you already.
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The thing about flirting to show an interest in another person is that it is often very subtle or can be mistaken for interest when its something else. So if its a once or twice occurance, it may not be that she's interested. From what you wrote though, this sounds like an on going thing from her dropping hints, touching your shoulder, etc. So I'd say there has to be some interest in you.
If shes doing this all while still dating this junior, it may be that instead of a genuine interest in this junior, she only started dating hoping it would make you jealous enough to get past your fears and ask her out.
However, since you don't know how she feels about him, asking her out, can be the wrong thing to do.
HOwever she still needs to see signs that you are equally interested in her so if she is just using the guy to get you, she will decide on her own to stop dating him.
So if I were you, I'd find occasions to say HI to her, calling her by name. Like Good morning Jodie. And you can ask a simple question that shows you are thinking about her. "HOw did you do on the test in geography?
Just because a female is dating a guy or heck, even because a female is married, doesnt mean she can't talk to other guys. I have male friends and my husband has female friends and it is never romantic in those friendships.
So theres nothing wrong with you showing her this kind of casual attention. Observe her the best you can to discover what her favorite color is, any other favorite anything. So heres a scenerio:
You see her listening to music on her cell and you have cds by same artist. You could say, hey I like that artist too. Do you have his newest album. If she doesn't, you could offer to loan her the album to listen to, to see if she likes it too. This kind of exchange is normal, nothing the junior can be jealous of, you're not overtly trying to steal her away. But females tend to respond more to the guys who not only are romantic and acknowledge their prettiness and want to date, but even more so, girls want guys who can be their friends first before moving on to romance. So be friendly towards her. Treat her as a friend. If you can learn this now, you'll do well in the far future if you decide to find the one to marry. I wish I had known this very thing when I was younger. I had to learn the hard way but at least with 2nd husband, I have not only my best friend in him, but my lover as well.
Being a friend to a female is a lot harder than you may think for a male. They think and process things differently than guys so understanding girls is hard, unless its gay guys...they can make great understanding friends but can't be the source of romance. But this at least is a place where you can start, and hopefully, with the stress of trying to get her to accept dating off, and the lesser stress of just getting her to like you as a fellow classmate and friend, your fears should go away. Once you are used to just being a friend, then you can move on much easier to the romance part, of being her boyfriend. Don't do this just to win her over. She may have given up on you and it may not happen you have another chance. Do this with any girl you find yourself attracted to. Become their best friend first before asking them out, even if there's no other guys in competition. If you are friendly on a daily basis, then it won't take long, a few weeks, or a month before you might be ready to ask a girl out if she hasn't asked you first.
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If and when she is single if you still feel like you have some sort of a chance with her....why not?
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