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Gym Buddies
My boyfriend and I have been together for about nine months now. He is a smoker and I have expressed my dislike for it very much and how I just want to keep him around for as long as possible as I have experienced quite a few of my family members passing away due to smoking and he agrees, he said he wants to stop and I would be the perfect motivation to do so. He has since joined the gym, he says working out makes his desire to smoke very minuscule and I am so proud of him for that.
We were watching a movie the other night when he brought up the idea of me joining the gym with him. He has expressed numerous times that he does not think I am unfit or overweight, he just thinks that since he is quitting smoking for me, the least I could do is go to the gym with him. I don't think it is a bad idea at all but I am thinking about whether it would be weird or not. He and I are close but I have not a single clue about anything gym related and he's been doing this for a while so I don't want to look incompetent to him or anything or get out of breath doing things while he is just motoring along.
I do jog (definitely not run) and he does too so he brought up us doing that together as well but I think I have the same issue, that i am not as fit as he is. For instance, when I jog, if I get tired, I walk until I'm not tired anymore....I went for a jog the other day and texted him when I got back home to come over and hang out. When he did come over, he told me the entire hour he was out, he ran the entire time, two miles around the local high school track and then back home... I just don't think I would be able to keep up and I'm nervous that he would see that and not so much think differently of me but change his perception of my fitness or physical abilities, I guess.
Anyway, I want to do this with him - it would be better for me to get healthier and work on my willpower to actually go and work out every night with him and I think it would bring us closer together (my brother and his girlfriend work out together and they love it and says that's what keep them as close and as strong as they are that they experience that hour workout together everyday). I just want to know how I can get over this nervousness of not being able to live up to his standards or look unfit to him.
Thanks for any input!
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Hey!
Honestly working out is all building up to the top, and reaching a goal. When you start the gym you do not have to start with the equipment or anything you think is difficult and you do not need to push yourself past a limit to impress people at the gym. You work at your own rate. For me, I actually started with going to the gym just to do a few stretches and I also went on the treadmill for a little bit. Little by little I started "experimenting" with the different equipment and even tried lifting a few pounds. Now I'm pretty much a gym rat and spend all my time in the gym mostly lifting (I'm only a high schooler btw. I'm trying to say that it's not too late to start). If you need help with a certain equipment or workout then don't be afraid to ask. You don't have to be muscular or super fit to start going to the gym because everyone has to start somewhere. No one starts off by being perfect! No one's going to judge you in the gym. Before you go to the gym start by compiling a mental list of everything you're going to do in the gym, it makes the process much faster. When I started I did lunges, burpees, wall squats, regular squats, suicide runs, Russian twists, supermans, V-up, mountain climbers etc. You can also look up simple exercises to do in the gym. And then whenever you feel ready you can start working with equipment. But one thing you need to remember is everyone has a limit! DO NOT push past that limit. If you feel like you need a rest, take that rest! If you feel like something is too difficult for you, STOP and take your time with it. Build up by using what you know and can do! Something I forgot to mention is once you start it's actually a lot of fun. Not to mention you can meet a lot of cool people. I hope this helps, and I really think you should do it! Sorry I get super excited when people ask for gym advice :)
-Swimmer133
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First thing to know is that every person is at different levels of fitness. Just like everyone is sh app ped differently. It is awesome that he wants to share this experience with you. I would definitely talk to him and explain how you feel. And that your not sure how to use the equipment. He will definitely support you as you are supporting him. It definitely gets less scary after the first tume at rhe gym.
He will never think you are incompetent or not fit enough because you may go slower than him. He will just be excited to have you there to share this with you.
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Both my husband and I joined a gym and yet I had the same feelings you do, not that my husband could do better than me, but that I would look pathetic to the gym staff or other gym goers for where I had to start at.
Its a feeling you have to learn to deal with and its not about your boyfriend, because as I said, if even you could keep up with him, there's always gonna be someone at the gym who can do much more than him.
So this means having to face reality. Heres what I found at my gym. Yes, theres lotsa young people but there's also a lot of senior citizens who simply want to hang on to their health and they're just starting like me. I knew nothing and neither did my husband about the weights and other equipment. I had to have personnel there show me how to use it. Discovered my legs are stronger than my arms and chest muscles. The weights i did for each machine varied depending on the strength of that particular muscle. I had to start at the lightest weight on some which felt embarassing until I followed other older people around the circuit and could see where they left the weights they'd just used, same as what I was doing. I was told to not go for too many repitions, just do the highest weight I could complete successfully for 5 reps, then next time go for 10 and up to 20. When it becomes too easy, move up to next weight level.
As for endurance, yup, I was lacking also so for the bikes, stair steppers, elipticals, etc....I was sweating like crazy and exhausted in little time and pushed myself to go a little bit past where I thought I couldn't do any more. On the stair climbing equipment for example, it was easier to see how my endurance increased over the days. It records how many steps I climbed. I only did 10 first day, but 2nd day that felt easier. Went on to 20 the 3rd day. The fourth day, I was doing many stair levels but still at a slow pace, not as fast as others, yet I was completing much more in just a weeks time and was proud of myself and yes, it does make you feel better overall.
So I see nothing wrong with going with the boyfriend. The best way to get over a fear is to face it and the first step would be to tell him how you feel embarrassed to be starting from scratch and knowing nothing. Once you do that, the fear will flee. You may feel fear the day you actually go with him and are entering the gym, but just remind yourself that others start at the bottom and its not where you started that matters, but the end goal of being healthier over all which you will eventually get there...and might I say, a lot faster than myself, being that I am in my 50s and I assume you are much younger.
Good luck dear.
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Sounds like the best thing for you to do would be to go to the gym on your own for a bit, perhaps take a few classes that look interesting too you, or get a few private sessions with a trainer.
Eventually, you both have to bite the bullet and accept that you aren't in the same place as he is. That might mean he needs to make some changes to accommodate your limits. And he'll need to be respectful and supportive. Hopefully, he can manage that. Personally, I love doing things with my boyfriend, but I hate him 'teaching' me to do things. I rather get a basic level of familiarity on my own.
Sounds to like you might benefit from getting some familiarity to the gym on your own before actually joining him.
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