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annoying girl follows me
I'm a 12 year old female.
I am in 7th grade, and I'm friends with this group of girls, we text, invite each other to stuff, eat lunch together, do all the squad stuff. I'll call them by the first letter of their names (A, T, M, M2, H, E, L) and their are people I hang out with and consider friends, but they're the main group. Anyway, there are these two girls I hung out with in elementary school, I never really fit in during elementary, but in my middle school I've found my own group. I'll call them E2 and C. E2 left and found some other girls. I was ok with that, I was getting bored of her immaturity, and I went to sit with the squad I mentioned earlier. I started to hang out with them regularly and stopped hanging out with C. C is very immature, not like E2's immaturity which is being very young girly, but she cries over everything. She also is a total downer, I auditioned for the play and I was super excited to get my role, and she's all "oh, you shouldn't get your hopes up" "we're just 7th graders. And she is young girly too, she still plays with dolls. With my new friends we listen to music, watch movies and YouTube videos and gossip, you know? Pre teen stuff (H is almost 13, but whatever). And physically, she hasn't even started puberty. Me and my squad have all had our periods (I had my first he 15th) and wear bras and stuff. The problem is she keeps following me and even took T's spot so we had to move to a different table. How do I get C off my back without hurting her feelings?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
If she is that eager to be your friend and hang around you than there must be something about you to emulate or like. Maybe she wishes she were you. Did you ever think about that?
Perhaps everyone rejects her and she thinks you are nice. You don't have to like everyone you meet or always be around them but you should see things from her perspective and how it's like to try to get on with peers when socially you aren't at the same skill set.
As far as your new friends go is that on solid ground? It sounds very cliqueky and catty. Just be aware they can reject you too and as fast as they met you. If they exclude people on a regular basis are you sure they're worth being around. You need to be fair to her and everyone around you rather han buy into what is "popular" with others.
So what if this girl is young for her age or likes dolls still. Who are you to pass judgment on her for anything? A lot of people who are 12-years-old are immature and still teetering between being a kid and being older both physically and mentally. It's something she can't control nor her DNA when it comes to periods etc or wearing bras etc.
Cut her some slack. There may be hidden developmental issues there that you have no idea are. If this person is a downer talk to her about it impeding her progress socially. If she is made aware of it perhaps she can fix it. Let her know that some people think she acts to young for her age too but don't bash her over the head here. Be kind.
You need to forget your squad and how they view people for a moment and see the world through her eyes and how it sucks to have people reject you. She probably would be one of the best people to be friends with for that reason and the fact she looks up to you for whatever reason.
Like the people belw me said perhaps you can introduce her to non-judgmental classmates or potential friends to make her life easier. As far as crying goes people can be etremely sensitive. Shes one of them and perhaps has had a lot to cry about aside from what you are seeing.
I honestly don't think she's on your back but is gravitating to you because she thinks you are or could be a friend. You could tell her that there is nothing personal but you don't see how you and your friends really have much in common with her and have tried to relate but that you think she's a good person and will watch out for her. That's kind.
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ok what you might try to do is match her up with others like her. Hanging with those people or getting friendly with them in your spare time and then introducing her to them soon after could really help her.
you could even take a night and do a group thing and bring her along and then once you can see that they've really hit it off, after that event encourage them to continue speaking to each other. Allow her or the new friends youve made for her to still continue to approach you for a little while AFTER youve introduced them to each other so it doesnt look like a complete set up. Get her into hobbies and things she might really be interested in and then slowly stop doing it with her over time. You may have to do these things after school hours, just to show that your really trying to help her without SAYING OUT RIGHT what your doing.
then let her take over once shes comfortable and slowly back away from the situation over time saying that your busy but to go ahead and have fun and that you wanna hear all about it later over the phone or something. see? ; )
its not impossible you just have to put some effort into it. She should get the picture somewhere along the line but then be comfortable with the new situation and she wont be mad at you.
if you need help with this you can pm me. Ive done this before with people who would just not go away and it worked like magic.
good luck
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Are you just remembering E2 and her personality from elementary school or have you spent enough time with her lately to know that she isn't a match as a friend due to her personal interests, immaturity, etc.
This sort of thing happens in girl/boy relationships too you know. One is interested in the other romantically while the other doesnt feel anything more than just friendship if that even. When it comes to having to tell a suitor that you just don't feel a connection, I have always used the line, Sorry but I don't feel any chemistry between us. So if you tell the girl that you have tried but don't feel the kind of bond and chemistry between you both to be friends, then its the truth and the only thing you can say.
Now this doesn't mean she can't strike up a friendship and actually truely be a good friend for one of your 7 buddies. There isn't actually any good reason to ban a person, telling them they can not attempt to become friends with someone before they even try. If you try that, then you are being a version of immature. Whether someone has got their period yet should not be a requirement either when it comes to who they want to befriend and others deciding to befriend her.
If you haven't spent any time with her recently, then using a line that you dont have much in common currently would make you look dumb cus you have no way to know yet unless you're a fortune teller, and psychic, if she has changed since you last spent time with her or not.
Unfortunately, in seating arrangements, I've never known any lunchroom to have assigned seats by name of person like teachers do in the classroom, so you can't tell her not to sit somewhere. Perhaps, place your jacket and a book on table right next to the friend you intend to sit by to save your spot while you are going thru the lunch line. Things will change as soon as she finds some friends of her own, her own group to hang with and you'll no longer see her. Perhaps she is simply only going over what is familiar to her and is too shy to make new friendships. If you know this about her and its true and you're more outgoing, have a talk with her asking if she's like some help learning how to get over being shy so she can make friends on her own, and still make it clear you don't feel the friendship bond with her if it's still true. thats all I Can think of dear.
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