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POSEURS BE GONE
Ok I'm sort of the emo of the school along with a few other kids. I got labeled, I never called myself femo, I just dressed and acted the way I like. So now there is this annoying group of girls trying to get with us. If you look at their Instagrams they keep posting depressing pictures where they insult themselves and write "I'm emo." "I have myself because I'm emo." One girl thinks she's soooo emo because she listens to 5 seconds of summer. She also keeps asking me band names, and says she likes BVB (my favorite band) and apparently has been listening to them "since they formed in the 90's" I mean 1. None of us were BORN in the 90's 2. They released We Stich These Wounds in 2010. I told her that and she said,"oh well I know them." I asked her to name a member other than Andy Beirsack and she said,"well I only care about Andy." The others are doing it for attention. This one girl is actually genuine but she is rreeeaaaalllyyy egotistical with a "more emo than you" meanwhile she doesn't even actually listen to the bands she claims to and just looks up songs to name to seem like she knows what she's talking about. And then there's a stampede of annoying 6th graders (I'm in 7th) who think they know everything. Here's what someone said to me and my friends: "I think I'm emo. I mean I dress like it, I listen to the music, and I'm depressed and hate life and want to die." I mean, seriously, emo is not a mental disorder. And I'm pretty sure cutting off some hair except your side bangs, listening to dashboard confessional because "I saw (*insert emo boy*) who's really hot wearing a t shirt for it" and writing "Die" on your leg with sharpie (no joke I saw it with my own eyes) is emo. Me and my friends hang out with the goths and punks too and they have the same problem. So how do get these annoying idiots to leave us alone?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
Emo started all because of a style of music in the 80's and I am providing a link that goes over the history.
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
Along with the music began the fashion, the look which the link also goes over.
By the mid to late 90's when my 3 daughters were in H.S. I discovered that emo as a label a teen gave themselves was less about the music and more about their emotional state which seemed to be very troubled, low self esteem, anxiety issues or depression based and they recognized that about themselves and the way they dressed was now not about music as much as about a way to state that one didn't like their life. I know that many young people use a style of dress simply to define themselves and it has nothing to do with hating ones life or depression. But the word 'Emo' has shifted from meaning strictly music that brings a emo-tional response in you to a label for troubled teens...or those who do not understand that having emotional troubles and depression is not a thing to strive after and want to have, its not something to be proud of being. I know a few of the kids my daughters knew who were Emo. One was a visitor to our church sometimes as her aunt attended and brought her. I knew why she struggled with emotional problems. My goal on advicenatorsf is to help people to see a different perspectived if they have a problem or issue or decision to make and also to give the kind of advice that helps them to have a better life, not to remain where they are at.
When it comes to being on overload with negative thinking, self defeating attitudes, obsession with hate, death and dying, something is actually out of balanced as any Psychologist will tell a person. As a kid and teen, I had social anxieties, performance anxieties and others. By time I hit my last yr of HS, I was tired of being so anxious all the time and sought a cure for it and found it. I have continued to grow and improve as a person all my life, one little step at a time. So my attitude here is, if the teen who irritates you by simply expressing themselves this way ONLY as a fashion choice, it is not for you to decide how others dress or what silly antics they decide are a part of how they dress and act. We ALL have been given a free will to do as we wish however its best to consider to not do anything that will hurt yourself or others...thats a version of 'the golden rule'. A person can decide what their favorite fashion, food, music, activitys etc. are and that is Okay. Its not okay to tell others that their version of being Emo as a fashion is wrong. What is of concern is any teens who feel they want to die, are extremely depressed or have anxieties that plague them. I have recently come to find that unlike what we've been taught, medicine isn't the only way to treat a person, and it isn't always the best. If you yourself have issues with anxieties or depression or anyone else who know, no matter if they dress or proclaim themselves Emo or not, they will need professional help to overcome it. For most, the answer lies in their willingless to partake in their own recovery, to be free of these terrible feelings. And there are books that can help but the best is using such books along with a professional who teachesf Cognitive behavioral therapy. I wish all schools had a psychologist on staff trained in CBT who could work with any kids who came to see them. Since it is not so, if you come across teens who want help, send them here, I'd be glad to talk to them if they have anxiety issues or are depressed. However, if suicidal, they need to call 911, and thats the only areas in which you need to consider saying anything to your peers.
Also, if you are a girl, then most of your being easily irritated by others, a shorter patience and getting angry and pissed is because you are going through puberty and the effects of the hormones that help your body change and mature sexually, also have this negative effect on the emotions but that levels out by late teens. If youre a boy, then boys get easily irritated with girls mostly cus they don't understand them.
I am in my 50s and find some things from hot topic or Gothic style wear that suits my taste and see nothing about the style in itself that would make others think I'd gone off my rocker. I have a healthy self image, no anxieties and not depressed. It seems only teens in that state tend to dress this way. Why? Maybe as a last ditch ploy to subconsciously ask for help?? I dont know.
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To be honest. You will find this anywhere you go. You are all at the age where you are trying to define yourself by what you look like. what you say. what you wear and maybe these people actual idolize you and want to be like you.
You as being the older one need to talk to these girl/guys and say. I understand you like being these things. But saying you want to die and saying you hate your life is NOT OKAY. You should be happy with what you have. Tell them they are not being themselves by saying you like this person because a hot guy wears their shirt. I mean common.. That's like saying I like Justin Beiber because Some Toddler was singing his song.. FYI.. I HATE JB.. and that sentence does not make sense at all!.
What these girls/guys need to do. is find out what they like. and be real with what they like. not what everyone else likes... I mean if everyone else was having sex would you do it too.. Society is based on themes of who looks like what celebrity.. Marilyn Manson and who looks like bey once. It's better to be yourself. Stand out for who you are.. not trying to be like every single person is out there.
I hope this helps
and if you have anything else you would like help with, Let me know :)
~*Jasmine<3
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You ask them to leave you alone.
The hate, the insults, the making fun of them that you are doing here - it's unnecessary and it's mean-spirited. Stop it. Just because you don't wear pink bows and frilly skirts doesn't mean you are incapable of acting like mean girls. Don't be mean girls.
If you don't want someone to hang around you, tell them so. Don't insult them, just tell them you aren't interested. Don't be nasty, or cruel, just say "Hey, you seem like you want to be my friend, and honestly, I'm not feeling it. I'm not interested in getting to know you better."
These girls are figuring themselves out. You don't have to like them, and you don't owe them your friendship, but you do owe them some basic respect and human decency. Tell them to back off, but stop wasting your time bitching about them. If you don't check yourself, you are on a path that'll turn you into bully.
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