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TORTURE I TELL YOU T-T
Guys T-T I filed this under Abusive Relationships because I feel so tormented.
I have a bestfriend, and I love him, he always says he loves me back. We've been bestfriends for nine years. Then she came along.
This girl, gods! This girl became his girlfriend for only two months. All he talks about is her. I have access to his facebook, and all I see is, "I only love you and no one else" That's not all.
Everytime we ride the jeepney, it's a public transpo vehicle, I always get dizzy so I rest my head on his shoulder. But now, this girl gets MY shoulder. It's supposed to be MINE! T-T Now, I cant even ride the jeepney without holding my stomach and getting teary eyed.
We were enrolling for school. It was a respected school and it was my dream to go there. Suddenly, they started kissing and doing PDA. I get it already! they love each other! But not here! Gods!
We were kicked out...
I cant stand them T-T I dont want to leave him though... What can I do? Please help me! T-T
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All I can say i, I can relate, Me and my best friends have feelings for each other, but things are complicated, Like he doesn't want a relationship, although his in one.
What I'm trying to say is that, You deserve someone that loves you for you, and they will do anything for you, I understand that he is you best friend but sweetheart, if he loves you, seeing you with someone else will make it so much more harder for him
Good luck
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Hi.
I can see that you are in the philippines
Kaya sasagutin kita ng ating wika.
Una, Hindi mo ba napapansin kaya ka nagkakaganyan ay sa sarili mong hinanakit at hindi sa best friend mo?
pangalawa, baka naman yung sinabi nya na I Love you sa iyo ay bilang isang best friend o kapatid lamang? Hindi ba kyo naguusap kung ano ang nararamdaman mo sa kanya kaya sya nag hanap ng iba? Para sa akin lang, sana sinabi mo sa kanya nararamdaman mo. mas magaan sa loob kung alam mo ang nararamdaman nya towards you kaysa sa nanghuhula ka kung gusto ka nya o hindi.
pangatlo, sana sinabihan mo yung best friend mo at yung babae na huwag mag PDA. syempre as his bestfriend dapat alam mo ang tama at hindi mo sila pinayagan na tuloy tuloy. Mind to tell you na ang PDA eh medyo nakakabastos kapag sa publiko.
lastly. As his best friend, huwag na huwag mo siyang iiwan. period. unless sinasaktan ka nya physically. pero like I said before. Hindi nya kasalanan na nasasaktan ka, hinayaan mo sarili mo na masaktan.
Hope this helps =)
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You said you have been best friends 9 years but never stated if your feelings for him changed along the line and you began to think of him romantically.
So I wonder how you actually feel for him or whether you are even aware of it.
When two opposite sex people are best friends and neither is attracted romantically, it should be a given, that at some point, each individual will go looking to someone else to be their romantic interest. Once that happens, the romantic interest takes top priority in each persons life and their best friend now gets knocked down a notch on the totem-pole. That hon, is life and how nature works for all, even those who still care about their best friend and there is nothing wrong with this....unless....
...one of the two didn't realize they actually had deeper feelings for their best friend until a 3rd person came along.
How can this happen, the not knowing part? Well, to be honest, many think when they come to love a person, it's all a blazing fire of passion they are hit with. that's not how it works for all and that's where sometimes we don't know what we're missing til its gone. With some couples, they start out as best friends but as time goes on, that little glowing ember of a coal begins to slowly grow from a love of a friend to a love of another kind to catch up with the others and become a blazing fire. Only it's not recognized easily because it slowly snuck up on you.
This puts you now in an awkward spot if you believe you are romantically in love with him. It's not good manners to tell anyone you love him or how you really care while they are dating someone else. Best to wait until they are single again and then confess. Which means you'll have to be miserable for a time longer. However, don't despair, during school years, couples relationships for the most part do not last long. He's enjoying romance which means he was ready for it. What you don't know is if he feels the same for you but was afraid to ruin your friendship by taking it to the next level in case you didn't feel the same.
You're not the only one...many people even adults face the same issue and yes its awkward. But the risk is worth it to ask how the other feels about you, and risk losing a friend, compared to risk losing a potential life long romantic partner in the end.
You are in a better position (if he does feel something more for you) than other girls because the two of you have a long term best friend relationship. And that is important because two things make a successful foundation to any life long couples relationship, and that is
1. Being each others best friend
2. Having romantic chemistry and for when appropriate later, sexual chemistry
With only one or the other, the relationship will be unbalanced and either rocky or never last.
You already have the friendship part down. So when the time is right, find out if theres a possibility of you being more than friends.
And thats exactly how to state it. In fact, once he's single again, I'd say, "Since we get along so well as friends, I was wondering if there's a possibility of us being more than friends, what do you think? Or something along those lines. You might let him know at some point that when he was dating, it made you realize that you might like him as more than a best friend and you want to at least give it a try to see what happens. Better trying and it not working out than going thru your whole life wondering if it could've been more...that's torture.
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Well it sounds like youve been friend zoned hunny. sorry but its true.
He was probably only saying he loved you back too because he thought you thought it was some sort of cute whimsical thing to do but he wasnt about to date you and now youve discovered that the hard way.
The reality of it is, is that hes with someone ELSE and not you. this is a reflection of how he see's you because if he looked at you the same way you see him, you'd be together already after all this time and your not.
Hes moving on with his life and its with this girl you hate. im so sorry but thats the truth of it. The best thing you can do for right now is to leave him to her and maybe if they break up you can make your feelings known for him.
Other then that you sound like you could be a little possessive over your friend and it sounds like you think hes a piece of property and not a person. This will come back to bit you in the butt (kinda like it is now because of the feelings your having) and it will hurt.
just back away slowly, and let him live his life with this girl and maybe ask him not to talk to you about her or their problems because it stresses you out when you know hes so unhappy and could do better then her. this shows both concern for your health and his well being.
that could get him to stop talking about her.
good luck.
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