|
How can I get my boyfriend to stop hitting me? I can't leave I love him
I love my boyfriend a lot.. But he has anger problems . And when he gets mad he slaps me or pushes me hard or punches my arm. And he always threatens to leave. How can I get this all to stop? He also calls me names all the time. But he said he loves me. Is it true?
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Abusive Relationships?
Most women in physically abusive relationships face the same problem. He hits you, then he's sorry, says he loves you. Then he hits you again. Threats to leave are part of the picture. To undermine your confidence. If you intend to stay in the company of this guy you need to seek counselling together and address this anger-management problem of his. It won't get better. It won't go away on it's own. The tone of your question strongly suggests it's already become a repeating pattern? It's not difficult to say 'I love you' really, is it? But how do you reconcile this with him verbally and physically abusing you? You really need to address this before your self-esteem reaches such a low that you'll simply see yourself as the victim and tolerate his abuse. Is it worth the time and effort (with no guararntee that it will work, or he won't revert to it further down the line) of the counselling route? Your best bet is to walk away. You can do better than this. Having 'anger problems' is not an excuse for what he's doing. If a friend came to you with the same story, and asked YOU what to do....what would you tell them?? You maybe think your case is 'different'? It's not.
]
One way to get him to back off might be to call the cops, but in the same respect that could further piss him off and something worse could happen. Especially if you can't prove it to the cops. Battered women's shelters would take you in. If I had more information I would call the authorities myself.
What you should do is leave him. If he's threatening leaving you and hits you, then he really doesn't love you. Rahzie is right. That is textbook manipulation.
He is abusing you. He is psychologically fucked up. When you love someone, you Do Not abuse them. Verbally, emotionally, or physically. And you do not threaten to leave the one you love just so they cave in to your demands and willingly take the abuse.
One thing in all this: THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT. HE IS TO BLAME FOR HIS BEHAVIOR.
You deserve better than someone who hurts you.
There are all sorts of things wrong with him. And blaming his anger issues is just making an excuse to justify him being abusive. There is no justification for being abusive.
He is doing this because he wants to control you. And he doesn't want to be caught.
Don't let him control you. Take a stand. Learn how to defend yourself by any means necessary.
Get help from your family and authority figures. This way you have double back up. Hopefully he will be put away for hurting you and to prevent him from hurting anyone else.
I hope you are able to get out of that situation as quickly as possible. I would also recommend seeing a counselor to help you empower yourself.
Be safe, stay safe! Get help!
]
It doesn't matter if he loves you. If he hits you, he's not ACTING lovingly. He may feel all the love in the world, but he can't stop hitting you, it's doesn't amount to shit.
Most people who abuse, abuse people they claim to love. Most people don't attack, or rape, or even murder, strangers. Most people who beat up, raped, or murdered, are the victims of people they know very, very well.
Leave him. He is manipulating you into staying with his threats and put downs. It doesn't matter if he loves you, you deserve better and you are worthy of better. If he can't give that you (and he clearly can't) then you have to go find better with someone else.
]
More Questions: |