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I screwed up with him,what do I do now?
Hi there,boy Im in hot water.
This guy I like likes looking at other women.We followed each other on Instagram.And every time I log in,it shows me what people I follow liked pictures,and how many. Well,about 90% of his posts are all sexy and suggestive photos,I was sick of seeing crap! Especially when he has me to stare at.I have brought this up many times.So I told him I wasnt sending him anymore photos to his phone.
I said ''you get sexy photos for free,and see them all the time why should I bother? Just the last straw''
And he responded ''Oh my god...you're right.This is the last straw''
And then I said''Dont be upset'' And sent some other messages
And he said ''I'm not talking to you right now. Stop blowing up my phone''
He unfollowed and blocked me on his Instagram.
So,how bad is this? Os he leaving me? Am I ever going to hear from him again? Or did I jut blow it? Anything? Is there anything I can do?
Or is it a done deal? I said I was sorry. And I am.I love him very much.
So,is it over,and does he need his space?
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Making a point, and confronting an issue which you find unacceptable is not screwing-up. In this case 'NOT screwing up' would entail you putting up with the behaviour, pretending it did not bother you? Clearly it did/does bother you. I would very much 'give him his space' if I were you. Make it known that you have no interest pursuing the relationship while he continues with this behaviour anyway, so his moaning and blocking are likewise of no interest to you. If he decides his sexy posts and photos and on-line flirting are more important to him than YOU then you haven't lost much have you? In fact, all you've lost is a guy who shows no concern or respect towards your feelings. You can do better than this. X
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Judging by the fact that you didn't say he was your boyfriend it just sounds like he used you for your pictures. I'm sorry about that, it really hurts being used by a guy and they just leave. It sounds like he's done with you and will continue his actions and probably just get other pictures from other girls. You have no reason to be sorry sweetie, the fault is in no way your own. He did not love you, but one day you'll find someone who does. Don't stress about boys now you have plenty or time all they do is bring you heartbreak when you're younger. Im sorry to say that it is over and if he ever comes back to you you tell him off. Good luck in finding a great guy!
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you have to learn what is a healthy relationship and what isn't. This seems like a relationship where you did the right thing. You should express to him that it's not right for him to look at all these other women in that manner when he should appreciate what he has right in front of him. You have to let him go. No matter how hard it may seem, he's not worth your time. You may love him, but he is not the guy fro you if he pulls that type of behavior. The best thing to do is act like you don't care so he sees what he's going to miss and how he messed up. If you give in to his immature ways, he will het you again. Act like you are happy he is gone and that you're better off without him.
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Sometimes, women fall in love with a guy who isn't deserving of their love or anyone elses. In other words, there is something about his character where he is greatly lacking that he does not makes great relationship material.
And think about it, what are you really sorry for when you said "i'm sorry"??? Are you sorry you made him upset? angry? You Probably Are. Is there another way you could have made your stand/your point without making him angry. I don't think so.
You see, relationships need boundaries set. In an offhand way you were attempting that without having a talk and both of you agreeing to any at the beginning. Its not too late for that. But if he upsets that easily when you make a stand, make a choice (not sending him pics anymore) that doesn't go along with his ideals of having the freedom to purposely seek out free sexy photos of women, ogle as many as he likes and try to have some of them as girlfriends, whether at the same time or one at a time, he is being an immature young man...much like a kid in a candy shop.
When you said, Don't be upset and sent other messages meant to soothe him, all you accomplished was sending a message that, "It's okay if you seek out other women for friendship so you can get their photo's and I will be okay with that. I just might give you pics of me again to, just as long as you will love me and not break up with me.
If you haven't figured it out, this is like when a mom is shopping with her child. The child wants a sugary cereal and when mom says no, the child throws a fit in the middle of the store, saying things like I hate you. You're mean. I wish you weren't my mommy." The mother panics and wants her child to love her so she lets him have his way and the message she sends is that there are no rules or boundaries and she will always let him have his way as long as the kid loves his mom. The child grows up to become an impossible to handle brat.
Girls do this with guys. They inadvertantly (meaning they didn't mean to) train a male to not have any respect for the female they are dating. They are trained to know they can get away with anything really bad as long as they pretend to love the girl or say I love you every once in a while.
Honey, there's a lot yet to learn, and one of those things to learn is that this is not Love. You were suiting his purposes for free sexy pics whenever he wants cus he wants them to masturbate to. There is no other reason for a man to want sexy pics of women other than his lady.
I will say though in defense of men, that just like women, we may choose to be with and love just one person but that doesnt mean we don't still have eyes in our head that may see and glance at a cute woman or hot looking guy in public. If we didn't look at the opposite sex, it could mean we are gay. So if you are hetero- sexual, you actually do want a man who is aroused by females. He can look, but not touch or daily chat with like a close friend. Some interaction business wise is okay, even chatting with mutual female friends of yours.
The problem arises when the importance and priority he puts on ogling, chatting with, visiting other women, means you are no longer one of his top 3 priorities,(if you ever were). He is still in the shopping phase, and hasn't settled on one female yet, one for the rest of his life. It could be he doesn't know what he wants yet. All he knows is he just wants to have lots of fun without any responsibilities, especially not to just one girl.
I am sorry your heart got caught up with him. So it may be hard for you to see this, but you actually did the right thing. going back on what you said, sends the wrong message as I've explained. So if he ever does talk to you again, he will not treat you any better. My guess is things will get worse because of the unintentional message you sent him. He will look for any woman desperate for his attention and string along as many as he can. If you want to, you can be one of them. If he never gets back in touch with you despite what you did, acting desperate by immediately sending texts and saying you were sorry, then count your self lucky he's dropping you. Truly, there are better fish in the sea to go for.
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It's over dear! At least it should be over. He is just using you, as well as many others, to satisfy his prurient obsession. He doesn't love you. He never loved you and he will never love you.
Save your love and affection for someone who can return it in kind. Selfish, sexually obsessed boys can never enter into a true, loving relationship with anyone.
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My first question to you is why would you say sorry for standing up for how you feel when this guy is looking at other women and "gets sexy pics for free"??
i hear nothing there that says "i need to say im sorry"
Secondly, if he blocked you and unfriended you or whatever then YEAH i'd say its a done deal. He doesnt want anything else to do with you and it sounds like by the way you described him, you dont really need to have anything to do with him either. He sounds like a ladies man and your just one more in the pile of girls he gets pics from. Do you really wanna be just another one of those unspecial girls?? probly not. You should have a guy that worships only YOU and doesnt WANT pictures of anyone else.
If anything you come off as needy to him because you first stated how you felt, then once you realized he was upset you took seemed to almost take it back by saying "dont be upset". Something tells me this guys feels like he has you on your knees for him emotionally and thats not where you should be OK with being at.
its better you broke it off with him you deserve better then that. ; )
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