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Why does he keep asking about a relationship?
Me and my fwb have been seeing each other for 5 months now and things are pretty good between us. Lately he's been asking what I feel about us being in a relationship. He's asked a few times and each time I say I want to be but then he won't say what he wants or how he feels. There has also been a few times when he says maybe we'll be serious or be official but he won't say for sure. I'm not sure why he keeps bringing it up if he won't really do anything about it or is he waiting for me to say something? But I've already told him yes more than once so I'm not sure what to do. What do you think?
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Tell him that he must tell you how he feels about this issue or stop talking about it. You have told him how you feel. Why is he not so sure? It's unfair to drag this out for 5 months. He needs to tell you how he feels or not raise the issue again.
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In 5 months time, you may be sure, but for him, he may feel he knows you well in some area's but not enough in others to know if he really wants to make that kind of commitment. I don't know how deep your conversations have been. Surface level info about a person is not enough to know if a relationship might work, I am talking about knowing your favorite, color, music and movie genres, your favorite foods, where you went to school, names of your childhood friends, and whether you have siblings or not. Those kinds of information are important too but do nothing in reassuring a person if you share the same values, beliefs, hopes and dreams and if not, how willing each is to support each other to follow their talents and dreams. In some cases, not knowing that before hand could lead to a break up if two people have the type of goals in which there is no compromises that can be made. An example, you want to work to a high level job in the company you work for while his dream is to work with sealife, training and care and there's a job possibility for him in Seaworld but thats far across the states from your job. It becomes an issue of just how compatible you are, are both of you willing to dump your dreams forever for this love because you both are deeply in love, not just having the sexual compatibililty, but can you both see each other as their best friend for the rest of your life as well? If that is valued over job and location to live, then there is a great chance for you both being in a relationship.
Try asking him these kinds of questions. If he draws a blank easily as I do when asked to answer a chance, he may do better putting it in writing and sharing with you a list of what is important to him in a long term partner, or life long partner. You might find it helpful to make this list. It won't be complete in a matter of minutes. If you start it though, you'll find yourself thinking of important issues to add to it throughtout the days and weeks following until it is pretty complete. For example, an important issue to put on the list is how important kids are to each of you. Not that you want one immediately but good to know for future, and if unable to have kids of your own, would either be willing to adopt, that and many other important points need to go on your list. Get him started on his, you make yours and then have a good conversation together with both of your complete lists on the table. Good Luck
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I feel as if he's stuck on what to do. Maybe he is scared of what everyone's reaction will be. I don't think he is waiting for your response, I think he is waiting for his own. He might be asking over and over because he might feel like he needs your definite reasurrance. It really depends on what type of guy he is. Since I don't really know, here is some questions you should ask yourself.
1. Is he an open book meaning like he likes to show off and be social and show his honest opinions or beliefs? Or he is the shy person that spends most of his spare time at home?
2. Does he always say he loves you and does he do little things to show that he cares for you and your relationship?
3. Are there any little, unoticeable things that could tell you that he is into somebody else or is secretly dating somebody else?
I hope that this helped you and I hope that everything goes well with your relationship!
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