Free AdviceGet Free Advice
Home | Get advice | Give advice | Topics | Columnists | - !START HERE! -
Make Suggestions | Sitemap

Get Advice


Search Questions

Ask A Question

Browse Advice Columnists

Search Advice Columnists

Chat Room

Give Advice

View Questions
Search Questions
Advice Topics

Login

Username:
Password:
Remember me
Register for free!
Lost Password?

Want to give Advice?

Sign Up Now
(It's FREE!)

Miscellaneous

Shirts and Stuff
Page Backgrounds
Make Suggestions
Site News
Link To Us
About Us
Terms of Service
Help/FAQ
Sitemap
Contact Us


I cannot make any decision


Question Posted Friday November 14 2014, 12:38 pm

Hi. I am from India. 22/f. I recently brokeup with my boyfriend.actually i do not talk with him for a week. Because he always questioned and argued with me with my past. I do not told him about my all details about my ex boyfriend,because i was tortured mentally and physically by him. I current boyfriend do not ask me about all minute details,so i donot told him everything.now he heared some false rumour about me from my ex boyfriend's friend and he became mad.he always doubted me,treated me poorly and became verbally abusive.He thought i deceived him and i destroyed his life. What to do? Do i again call him and say sorry again?(i do it for 100times) i love him very much,wants to marry him. I know he love me but i cannot understand why he doing all this staff. He always rebuked me and considered me good for nothing!he doesnot think i hold any good virtues in me. What to do please suggest me.

[ Answer this question ]

Additional info, added Friday November 14 2014, 12:51 pm:
He sometimes compared me with his ex girl,and said that she is more goodlooking than me.also he compared me with his sister who is married and he thought she greatly treats her in-laws which i cannot do after our marriage though we are not get married yet and never i met his parents.he always pretends he is superior than me.As he much older than me about 13years,i do not argue with him and silently listen all this.but now i am very upset.Recently i lost my father,but he doesnot care for this.he continue drills me with my past and said well bad words.what to do?.

Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?


lightoftruth answered Sunday November 16 2014, 6:06 pm:
I need you to step back and really look at what you wrote. If you saw someone else on here write this, would you tell them to stay with this person?

I will be honest. This is not love. If he abuses you at all, he does not love you. You said he verbally abuses you and treats your poorly. That is not love. If he considers you good for nothing and thinks you hold no good virtues, do no stay with him. He does not love you. He hurts you and abuses you.

He stays with you because he can control you. You sit back and silently listen so he thinks this is ok to do.

Leave him and break up.

He has no good qualities in treating a woman. It's disgusting and you need to find a better man.

[ lightoftruth's advice column | Ask lightoftruth A Question
]




Dragonflymagic answered Sunday November 16 2014, 3:29 pm:
I agree with the other advice giver, he does sound terrible. You are still young and perhaps have no firm idea yet of what a really loving carring man is like. Everything you have described is what a verbally and emotionally abusive guy is like. In India, women are not always treated well because backward views of male-female relationships are stilled expected if not actually discussed. I know what I am talking about, I married at 20, thought he was a good church going guy. After a few months he let his real self show and it was everything you mentioned about your boyfriend and more.
The top reason he is interested in you is because he see's you as a weak willed female since you have not set out plainly what guidelines and boundaries you expect him to follow or you will leave him. Women will confidence who actually do that, will gain the attention of the good guys, the ones who would treat you better.
So really, your problem is not that he treats you terribly. All humans have free will to live their life and treat others as they wish. However you also have a free will to decide to accept this kind of treatment or to love yourself enough to remove yourself from this situation.
The reason many young women do Not Leave a bad guy like you have and I had, is because women crave attention from a male. If a male pays her attention, she falls in love with him, no matter if its good attention or bad, abusive attention, women will stay with a bad male for financial security reasons and in exchange for a place to live and food to eat, she gives up all rights to being a separate person, and is willing to become a slave or more like something he owns.
The real issue is that you need to learn to develop a personal strength and confidence in yourself, not be willing to settle for less than a man who treats you like a Queen.
His behavior is not normal or good. It may seem normal just because so many men in India are acting the same way but it is not, trust me. You need to leave him. The heart will eventually heal. And someday when you find the man who treats you like a Queen, as I did in my 2nd marriage, you will realize that your love for the first guy was so misplaced, and you will wonder what you ever saw in him.

[ Dragonflymagic's advice column | Ask Dragonflymagic A Question
]



HCJTeenHelp answered Sunday November 16 2014, 2:34 pm:
Woah. This guy sounds horrible!
I feel as though you are in that stage where you feel like you are worthless and that you imagine that he actually cares for you. This a perfect example of a verbal abussive guy. Let me tell you this.
You are better off without him! Whatever he tells you is complete rubbish and if he beieves a bunch of baloney rumors than he is totally nieve and ignorant. You deserve better and he obviously has no common sense if he cannot see what is right in front of him. I would say forget about him and just start a new chapter in yout life. Leave all the pieces behind and whatever you do, do not get suckered back into him because that would symbolize that you are weak and to me, I think you are and could be a strong and independent young woman if you just let go and leave him and everything else behind.

[ HCJTeenHelp's advice column | Ask HCJTeenHelp A Question
]

More Questions:

<<< Previous Question: Why does he keep asking about a relationship?
Next Question >>> I need advice. and help

Recent popular questions:
Want to give advice?

Click here to start your own advice column!

What happened here with my gamer friends?

All content on this page posted by members of advicenators.com is the responsibility those individual members. Other content © 2003-2014 advicenators.com. We do not promise accuracy, completeness, or usefulness of any advice and are not responsible for content.

Attention: NOTHING on this site may be reproduced in any fashion whatsoever without explicit consent (in writing) of the owner of said material, unless otherwise stated on the page where the content originated. Search engines are free to index and cache our content.
Users who post their account names or personal information in their questions have no expectation of privacy beyond that point for anything they disclose. Questions are otherwise considered anonymous to the general public.

[Valid RSS] eXTReMe Tracker