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my frendship took a turn


Question Posted Thursday November 13 2014, 4:54 pm

well i have this one best friend who doesnt like my other best friend and i dont like my on best friend sometimes but i act like i dont like one best friend when i am around another and vise versa so i need help what should i do i mean it i need help!

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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?


IrishGuy answered Sunday November 16 2014, 1:06 am:
Play it safe :) let them talk it out before anything else goes wrong. Trust me, this will work :)

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Dragonflymagic answered Friday November 14 2014, 7:41 pm:
If we are talking, teen girls, then a good possibility is that the only reason they don't like each other is due to their hormones running rampant from puberty and that will make girls more irritable at certain situations or people, even to the point of anger for no good reason at all, and can be prone to pick fights.

Don't play games with either of them. You are entitled to like who ever you like, and have your preferences in other things in life, like style of clothes or music, food, etc... without having to pretend to make someone happy. You don't want to fall in the rut of becoming a people pleaser because that is an instant recipe for stress cus there are no two people alike so you would never be able to hang with a group of friends all at once if you were afraid of their reaction. In time these girls will grow up, get past the hormonal thing changing them right now and become normal again. In the mean while, you need to level with them. Tell each girl that you like her for specific reasons, not because one of them is 'better than the other', they are just different and you like each of them for their differences and will not give up either one of them as your friend. So they need to let you need if they are willing to try to get along with each other, or if not, you will see each other singly, one at a time, taking turns spending time with each one without having the other one present. But you will not pretend any longer to not like the other. If they attempt to force you to choose, you will stop associating with them until they grow up, at which time, you'd be glad to pick up your friendship with them again.

The tricky thing about spelling it out like this and giving them both an ultimatum is that there is likelihood of one or both being a stick in the mud and not willing to agree to outline you gave them. This would mean having to walk away from one or both for a while and in our teens, its all about being accepted and liked by people so the great fear of being friendless will cause you to want to cave in and go back to playing their game which is immature. By giving in, you help them remain stuck.
Another option, your mom was once this age and probably remembers having to go through the same stuff. It is something you can talk to her about. She knows you better than any of us here could guess and might have some wonderful advice for you as well.

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lightoftruth answered Friday November 14 2014, 3:21 am:
You need to be honest with them.

That's their drama and you shouldn't be involved in it.

So talk to them, let them know you love both of them and you're not going to take sides. If they value your friendship, then they'll understand.

They don't have to hang out with each other with you but they do need to accept that you will still be friends with both of them.

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