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humorist-workshop
My Dilemma; What Should I Do?
I'm a 14 year old and I play a lot on this gaming website. I met a guy (Who claims he's 26). I claim that I'm 18. I never say my real age and never will due to safety reasons. I just feel so uncomfortable talking to him, but yet I feel emotionally attached to him. He's never asked me for my address or anything personal like that, but he's told me that he's on parole and all that and I kind of help him to make him feel better. I know I shouldn't lie and all that, but it's safety reasons. I've heard his voice before (Microphone) but he hasn't heard mine. What should I do? I feel kind of "unsafe", but I feel that about everything since I have a panic disorder. I want to just end the talking by just not starting conversation, but me and him play the game a lot and end up starting conversation.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
A lot of people feel that way too. You may chat with him online, but you don't even know who he is. You don't even know if he lied about his age too. I'm just saying that this is dangerous of What you're doing because it can cause you into big troubles. I will recommend you to not to play that game anymore, even if you love it. First, It's not for your age, and second, for you're protection. Why don't you chat with some other people at your school, or at the mall, instead of meeting people online, because you never know if they're fake.
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It has often been said that technology has really crushed the art of interpersonal communication. While in some cases this is certainly true, there are times when it isn't as well.
When I was in between my last year of high school and starting college, I developed an online relationship with a girl a few years younger. Sadly she was in a fatal accident but the point is that while we knew each other in the cyber world, we had a deep connection.
If you are emotionally attached to this guy as you say you are, I think it's fine to continue things as they are. For safety reasons, which you seem very smart about by the way, there is no need to take things any further.
At your age it is surely OK to have friends that are a good bit older than you so long as friends or some other appropriate relationship (like teacher, mentor, co-worker...) is what it remains.
In the event that he eventually wants to take the relationship offline, I would suggest that is something you avoid.
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Of course you are emotionally attached. When ever we met people on line, no matter in what venue, it's going to be one dimensional. Our emotions get automatically sucked in to help make it more real for us.
There will be so much missing that we can't really know about a person's true character, what they truly look like,(females have posted false pics for men and in games such as 'Second Life' there are people in their 60s and older posing as all 30 yr olds. There seem to be no old avatars. Wheelchair bound cripples use this as their outlet to experience life. Some use the venue to experience what it is like to be the opposite sex, males pretending to be females and vice versa, so falling for a male online in 2nd life for example, may actually be a female old enough to be your grandma! It's the minds of the people we may feel attachment to but that is not enough to make a successful or even realistic friendship let alone anything else. And you can't go by just a voice. there is equipment you can use to alter male voices to female and female to male. I know a older lady home bound who sings on 2nd life and has met male avatars that she's fallen for. She also had one male avatar stalking her whereever she went in the game and became as terrified as if it were happening in 2nd life. Good feeling or bad, its all emotions and thats what games, social sites and dating tend to create is connections with others that are purely emotional because they can't be anything but. Since you feel its not right, feel uncomfortable, I agree with the other advicegiver. Block the person and go tell your parents. Let them know you blocked the person. Their job is to protect you.
Good luck.
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Hi sweetheart!Oh dear,this is tricky. I can put a few choices,and you can do what you feel is best.
But first off,lying can get you in all kinds of trouble,sometimes a small lie,can lead to a bigger lie,and you need to make another lie to cover up the previous lies. I think you learned a valuable lesson here,always be honest,honesty is not only the best policy,its the ONLY policy,always be honest with you.We not only lie to others,we lie to ourselves too when we do so.
Sweetie,youre a young lady,and you will make all kinds of mistakes and choices in this life,and you must use your best judgement to make choices,its all part of life.
A man who is an adult,especially on parole talking to a minor is a very very serious ordeal and is extremely dangerous. This man could have many identies,all kinds of things.Be careful who you talk to online. You say you feel uncomfortable,that is your gut and conscience telling you thats it wrong talking to him.
Now then,sweetheart,lets go over your options.
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1.Block him from your gaming site.Just cut it off completely
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2.Tell your parents,I know this may sound out of line for you,but if you have parents who truly love you,they may get upset,but your safety will be their priority
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3.Do steps 1 & 2 above.
Sweetie,they will no easy way to do this,but be strong,and you will make it through!! I promise!
Feel free to write me here!!
Be blessed!
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