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Me And My Ex Still Like Each Other But.......
So me and my ex still like each other but he says he doesn't want to go back out but then he also said we might be going back out next year and I'm so confused on whether I should continue to like him I should just move on to someone else because I feel he thinks im just there like a toy but I'm not and I don't want to say anything because he takes things that include love or anything like that VERY SERIOUS so please tell me what should I do?????!
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
So basically, you are needing some kind of check list to look at to determine is there's anything worth staying available to him for. I am sure you are looking for something deeper than just a guy who likes you as a friend or social buddy. If its love you're looking for, then I have something I came across on the net some time ago and saved because I found it to be so true and helpful in getting females on the right track in this area. Here it is and hope it helps you.
Why some relationships aren't working in a nut shell:
Some women give their love and devotion to a guy who doesnt deserve it, who is wrong for her
while others no matter how plain and simple the signs are of his love and devotion, they don't see it or trust it because of lack of self confidence.
1 A woman's insecurity and neediness will kill a man's love
Do you love me, do you love me? No matter what he says or does, she never believes him, even if he's never done anything to earn her distrust.
2 It's impossible to love others and be loved by others unless you love yourself first.
Don't look to a man for all your self esteem and self worth. Have it already before relationship.
3. Men do not show love the same way women do. For them it's how they feel when she is around and how she fulfills the dreams of the woman he wants and how possessive he feels if another man was paying too much attention to her. Some women translate love into his obsession for her and devotion while men translate her love for him as being appreciated and respected.
7 Questions to know if he really loves you
1. Does he say I love you. For some, it's a hard thing to say but they show it to you in other ways. When he says “I love you”, he is viewing that as a commitment to you. It is not a flippant phrase.
Saying I love you too early like during first couple dates is a warning about the guy. Its a very good chance he is needy and wanting a woman to be his mom. Other phrases from a guy count too, like you're awesome, I adore you. You're the woman I always dreamed of.
2. Does he make you a priority in his life? Guys have more than one priority...things very important to him but you should be one of top 3.
What he does for you or how he acts can't be faked easily because it's hard to lie with your body. Things he does without having to be asked, making dinner, picking up something for a collection you have, making time for you, even if it's a walk or a long phone chat. If the guy likes you, he'll make time for you at least a quarter of the time.
3 Does he tell friends about you and like to show you off? Have you been introduced to his family and friends? If he keeps you separate, he's hiding something or ashamed or fearful of something
4. Does he care about your pleasure during sex? Is he only into seeking his own pleasure or your's too. Does he open his eyes and want to have both your eyes connect while making love?
5. Does he respect and encourage you? Respect means, does he value your opinion, do you share decisions and treats you as a partner. Are you encouraged by him to have your own friends and hobbies outside the relationship and encourage you to seek your dreams and uphold you in that.
Jealousy is not love, it's control. It's okay to be protective, but jealousy shouldn't be what prompts the protectiveness
6. Do your friends and family like how he treats you? Others make a great gauge for judging a guys character.
7. Does he look at you with lust and passion in his eyes, with a hunger and thirst for you? Does he give you admiring looks, does he still want to sneak peeks down your shirt. What he sees is Very important since guys are visually stimulated. If he isn't looking anymore, he has lost his interest. All men because of this natural trait, will also view other women but do so discreetly, without being an ass about it. Don't expect a man to look at only you. If he doesn't look at other women at all, it may be a sign that he is gay. You do want a man who is visually stimulated by women.
How many points are true for you with your guy?
7 true He treats you as a Queen and he is an exceptional man
5-6 true He loves you. Just don't focus on what is lacking.
3-4 true He loves you enough to make the relationship work for him. If it's enough for you, then be content. If you feel like you're settling for less, let him go and look for something better.
1-2 true He's a douche-bag, a user or controller. Leave immediately.
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Oh honey,only you can make that choice for you,however,if you guys split over differences and feelings,there is no need to try again.Alot of the times it just doesnt work out for various reasons.
And to be honest,it doesnt seem like he really knows what he wants either
He could be saying lovey dovey stuff to you,just keep you near,just to keep you around.And that isnt always cool
If you want to give this another try,talk it out and see if you are on the same page. And always be honest with each other!
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I completely agree with you that he is treating you like you are his toy - there to play with when he wants. Saying he doesn't want to go back out now but 'you might go back out next year' suggests this us his attitude very strongly. You should have far more self respect than to hang around for him to decided it's back on again. Take the power back for yourself and make the decision to move on.
In any event - I rarely advise going back to a relationship that didn't work the first time around. In my experience didn't work once normally means won't work twice.
Take care
Ashok
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