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What does he want???
19,F.
I moved to a new city recently for university and I met a man there. We got on almost instantly and we started texting, calling and seeing each other regularly. He would come to spend time with me after work and I would go and see him after Uni.
this lead me to believe he liked me- calling for 4 hours at a time, texting all day..
I don't mind this and I don't find him annoying- i just don't understand what he wants, as he has a girlfriend that he is supposed to marry but hasn't yet due to family issues or something(i don't know the story well).. at first he referred to us as friends but carried on flirting with me and eventually kissed me. so the second time it happened I told him it would have to stop as it can't be an accident twice, and that i didnt want to develop feelings for him if he is going to go and get married to his girlfriend in the end and I be left with nothing.
he agreed,A week passed and we ended up seeing each other again but this time we slept together and it was absolutely perfect for me i could genuinely be with him as a boyfriend and am starting to develop stronger emotions toward him but i was left feeling confused and frustrated once again. I thought that contact would stop after we slept together and he had 'got what he wanted' but he still speaks to me every day, calls me and invites me out with him. I don't understand this because I would love to just go for it as i really really like him and can see myself being with him but do I really want to risk my emotions when hes got a girlfriend ? someone said he might be using me as a backup incase this planned marriage fails.. but I'm not sure. just cant stand this not knowing any longer- and I don't want to speak to him again about it since i already did !
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It seems that some, perhaps you wrote two message half hour apart about the same guy. this one just has more information. In the other message, this was stated as no longer a planned marriage. That the 2nd time you met, he was already married. If he wasn't willing to commit to only one woman and wants to play around, why did he marry in the first place. Ever think of that? Easy, he doesn't believe a wife can be a friend and /or mothering type and also a lover. No one was holding a gun to his head to force him to marry. So what possibly could he gain from being married as an almost 30 yr old?
I figure, he was looking for two things, one: a mommy figure, someone to be his maid and cook and run errands for him and pick up after him and keep house so he has a lovely place to live. He also has no intention of loving one woman. He isn't willing to really care about the personality and character and everything inside a woman, cus if he was willing, he would be able to find himself someone who he can commit to, is in love with, wants to serve and support and uphold her, and is so sexually attracted to and satisfied by just her and has no desire for other pretty faces because he fell in love with the package deal. No one else out there can be the you that you are inside. Our personalities and all that comes with are pretty complex and a man would have to be so in love with that as well as sexually attracted for a relationship to work. This man is only sexually attracted on a lust level which is only skin deep. It is not love, which goes deeper. So as all others have already said, this is someone you need to run from as fast as you can.
Perhaps you crave someone paying you compliments, giving you attention and wanting to have sex with you. But those things all women want...and it does not mean the guy loves them. Honey, If I had sex with every man who compliments me, pays me attention and says they are interested in me, there'd not be enough days in the year to schedule that. I'd have to double or triple that up on days. I am not making this up. I was on a dating site before i met my 2nd husband. And I am no longer young as you and yet, over a few years, I had that many men propose having sex with them, ranging from 19 to 69 in age. Men are going to be visually attracted to women first. That's all well and good. You do want a man you know is visually and sexually stimulated by females, otherwise he might be gay. However, if his interest is only surface level, your looks, then you must learn to never give the guy a chance to ever talk to you again let alone spend time together. He's a douchebag.
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So he has a girlfriend and still wants to keep seeing you? Did he tell you he was gonna leave her?
Just because he sleeps with you doesn't mean he's serious about you! Most men don't need a strong emotional bond to be physically intimate with someone. I don't know him so I can't really say much about his feelings. Just be aware and don't let him trick you into sleeping with him before you've had a very much needed talk. You don't want to be an affair and neither do you want to be a rebound in case his relationship with this other woman doesn't work out. I understand that you don't want to talk to him about it again, it was probably a very uncomfortable conversation. But you deserve to know what's going on. You shouldn't sleep with him again before you haven't settled this.
I really hope you figure it out and he doesn't break your heart!
If you want to talk about this in private send me an email ( sex_n_candy@outlook.com )
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Oh no!! Honey,run! Grab those Lay's and head for the hills!
Why? Because he's cheating on the woman he is supposed to marry with you? What would happen if he married her,do you think he will still keep seeing you? I dont mean that to be harsh,I mean that in the sense that you need to think long term here.
In fact,he is the one who has a choice to make.
He i being dishonest to you,and his 'girlfriend'
I hope for your sake,he isnt just fooling around because he doesnt want to get married yet and likes playing the field.
You need to sit down with him and talk to him and let him know you have feelings for him,and he must make a choice,you or his girlfriend,this cant go like this,and sooner or later,his girlfriend will want to know what her boyfriend is up to,and or may find out about you eventually.Take care doll!
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Okay so since your young go with what your gut says if you honest have feelings for this person then go for it and he couldn't have a girlfriend because he kissed and slept with you and is still talking to u so he obviously enjoys your company so just go for it and if you back fires so what your young you have plenty of time to be married and have kids I hope my advice helps you!!
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