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Am I selfish?
On Monday I have the only chance to be with my family and hang out with them. I had been planning this for like a month and a half now. However, my mom started talking about it with my grandmother and now she wants to come along and drag my little cousin along with her. Let me explain:
Im in college right now and have to be two hours away from home until the weekends, where I only work with my parents or study. This is the only free Monday I have and for many reasons its the perfect family day. My grandmother is not coming with us because she wants to be with me, its because my cousin (he is about 10-11 years old) loves being with us (which I also believe is because of my brother and the fact that mom buys him stuff, people think were rich when were really not at all). She even told mom to ask for my permission, as if I would not want them to go. I love them, the problema is that my cousin is very... reckless. He doesnt listen to anyone, always gets into trouble, and is not satisfied unless everything HE wants to do is done. Im just afraid that whats supposed to be a stress free day will only cause more mayhem and that is not what I need right now. What do I do?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
I would be honest with your parents. Otherwise, you're not going to have a good time and you'll resent it.
I don't know how your family dynamic is, but I hope that your mom will understand if you tell her how much you love her and was looking forward to just spending it with the immediate family.
Good luck.
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So, you're facing what I really think is a fairly common family situation. Personally, I've been through several scenarios that are very similar to what you are describing. And with that being the case, I know you're probably feeling kind of stuck.
You say your cousin is reckless and tries to always get his way. That's not exactly shocking for someone his age.
My suggestion would be to go ahead and take your family day and try to make the best of it. Even if it is a little chaotic, at least you will be with people you love. If you can, maybe you can find something to keep him occupied a bit so you can have some less stressful moments to share.
Good luck.
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I believe we are entitled to a family day from time to time, just mom, dad you and siblings. Grandma too if you wish. Cousins while they are family they are not immediate family and are not usually invited along on an outing where it is intended for family to just chill and have a good time together. Even if that good time is a backyard BBQ. So no I do not think you are being selfish
Tell you mother that no you want to be alone with just her, your dad, your brother and grandma if she wishes to join you. You miss being home with them and you want to squeeze as much alone time with them as possible them. If the cousins parents think you're being selfish that's their problem for not seeing that you are entitled to some immediate family only alone time with your parents and brother. That's really all there is to it.
I'll give you an example of observing someone's time with family. As much as I love my niece and as often as my sister visits her in Texas where she lives with her husband an infant son. When they visit here we go to my sisters for dinner or when they go out someplace my niece will usually invite us along. The rest of the time is for her and her family to be with her mom, my sister, and her step-dad.
Your cousin can visit anytime he parents wish to visit with your parents. You only have this one day to be alone with them. Don't fret over this do what is right for you today.
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Then make your wishes known to the parents. You called it perfect family day and the two you mentioned ARE family after all. I think what you mean is you want time with just immediate family, a term that means parents and siblings only. Extended family refer's to anyone else related by blood, marriage or adoption, by choice or anything else i may have missed mentioning.
Let the parents know that this time you want to spend time only with them, immediate family. You'd be glad to meet with grandma or others on other weekends, just not this extra Monday you have available. If they aren't willing to arrange that, then find someone else to go hang out with on Monday, perhaps a friend from school. You already have a certain level of stress just from anticipating family woes. If you find it disturbs you so greatly, and you wish not to put yourself through it, make other plans, even if its really not what you wished but it may take only once to get the message across, that you prefer them checking with you first before inviting other people to hang out with you.
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