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no fireworks
Do you guys think that it is wrong to kiss someone if you feel that there might be something more than just friends but after youve kissed the guy... U just didnt feel anything? Was i wrong to kiss him and now hurt him by having to tell him i dont feel anything for him more than just friends ?
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Hi there,
For future reference, I would like to share something that will save you, and the next guy, both a lot of grief:
The kiss isn't where the magic happens. Kissing someone to see if they are your soulmate just doesn't work.
You know how you know? When you ache to kiss the person, when it is all you can think about. Simply put: don't kiss anyone at all until you are already feeling like you are going to die if you don't find a way to kiss them.
If you realize that you didn't swoon at the thought of kissing him, then there was nothing there romantically in the first place.
The spark happens BEFORE the kiss... otherwise this is how friendships get screwed up. :-(
You will know when the time is right. When you don't have to "try it out," but instead are aching for it, then you have something. Otherwise, you will just be creating the potential for hurt feelings.
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You don't need to "feel" anything. A kiss is just a kiss. You do not owe him a romantic relationship. He should be grateful for your friendship. You kissed him, you didn't marry him.
The star of the Muppet Show,
Miss Piggy
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Wrong to kiss a guy to find out if there is fireworks? No, definitely not wrong, in fact my opinion is that more people might want to consider doing so rather than guessing and wondering the rest of their life if there might have been something more.
My Story: I did plenty dating after a divorce to seek out at the very least a boyfriend/companion or hopefully a new husband. I might like what he had to date in dating profile, in his messages to me online or talks by phone. If after a couple days of chatting he sounded promising, we seemed to have things in common, I let it go no longer than a week before meeting in person. We'd meet at a coffee shop or restaurant. the reason for the importance to meet asap for me for to find IF there was some chemistry/fireworks when face to face. That part can't be picked up on any other way. I could feel I liked him much as a friend, i Might even have been sexually attracted to their looks, but a kiss for me told all, either if felt like i was being kissed by a potential lover or by my kid brother...meaning no fireworks. Not that anyone has ever kissed their brother that way, LOL, just that you just know how blah or disgusting even the thought of it is.
Now in my case, this was meeting someone for the first time and saying goodbye at the end of the meeting with a kiss to thank them for showing up. If the kiss was fireworks, I'd tell him I felt something and would like to see him again. If i did not, I would also tell him right then but also let him know i Liked everything else about him, just that there was no 'chemistry' in that kiss. A couple would say, are you sure, wont' you try one more kiss, which I'd do since they requested, but thats kinda something you are sure about.
I dont know if this is your situation or whether this is a male friend you've known for quite some time now and just now tried the kiss. That is a good thing to try with a male who is a best friend type and have felt something but not been sure of. Too many females keep potential boyfriends, lovers or husbands in the friend zone because they couldnt dream of trying what you did. As a friend, if this guy is one to you, there should be ability to talk about anything. So the question remains as to whether you told him why you kissed him and what you felt or rather didn't feel. If you've said nothing, you owe it to him to have a good talk about it. If he has been secretly harboring feelings for you stronger than friendship, then he will of course be disappointed with the results but he needs to know. If he has not ever seen you as anything but a friend, I believe not saying anything would make you continue to feel awkward around him,for not coming out and explaining your actions. As a friend and a male, he should understand perfectly the need to check with a kiss and most likely be willing to continue on with the friendship as if it never happened.
Good luck dear.
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If you want to save your friendship, you should definitely be honest with him. It's not your fault if you don't feel anything when you kiss and you shouldn't lead him on either. It may be weird at first but he will be okay in time.
~Best of luck!
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