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dating someone 20 years younger
How do you go about dating someone 20 years younger than you? Who has been a very special friend
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
By working extra hard to find things in common, trying things you might not do any more with someone your own age. By introducing them to things they may not try with friends their own age. I should add I mean socially! It's a big age gap, but that does not mean it's a no-go area. It does mean you have to both work that bit harder. By doing so you might well find you both become more understanding, tolerant and open minded than many same-age couples. More tolerant and more considerate. Appreciate that you'll each bring something a little different to the party, as it were. That could make for a VERY strong relationship indeed, don't you think? You will have MORE life-experience to draw on. But since when was life experience about quantity? More about quality I think? Poor experiences will leave you dull and jaded at any age. Good ones keep you more upbeat ('younger' if you like) and open for more...at any age. True, we often gather friends of a similar age around ourselves, but that can get stale...boring. For both the younger and the older person. If you click, if you feel some special connection, and it's what you both want...give it a go!
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With so little to go on this is a hard question to answer. When you come right down to it age is just a number. Once two people advance beyond the age of majority the number becomes less and less significant. Really nothing more than a manor of record or keeping things in order.
When it comes to dating the significance in the numbers comes in the largeness in the difference between them. To some people that largeness has no meaning to others it has unfortunate significance.
For the purpose of your question I would suggest you come right out and ask that person if he or she is interested in dating. You can go on to say you would like to see if a romance is in the works; should that be your intentions?
I see no reason not to be straightforward. In order to date someone you have to ask them to go out with you; right. In this instance you change the approach just a little to see if your person of interest is interested in dating older people.
You could start by asking this person how they feel about dating older people. This person is a very special friend so it could be brought up in conversation. In this way you are not asking for a date and being turned down if he or she is not willing to date out of he or she's' age group.
Now if you two do start dating be aware that most people are not very liberal minded when it comes to May December romances. IF you are the male then you will be looked at as robbing the cradle or a sugar daddy and she a gold digger or worse. If you are the female then you are a Cougar and he is a Gigolo or worse. It is not right but that is how people feel, some may even be your closest friends.
I would suggest you think about how you and your special friend might deal with the reaction of others before you start dating. Because the their reaction can and most likely will have an impact on any relationship you to may or want to have.
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You probably shouldn't. Although you've provided no information whatsoever besides your ages, those ages do mean this is unlikely to be a good idea.
Age is not just a number. It's a loose gauge of life experience and self-awareness. It also impacts our own expectations from relationships and the expectations others have of us.
A twenty year old and a forty year old (assuming they are both mentally healthy) are very, very unlikely to have the same expectations from a relationship, the same needs or compatible long and short-term goals.
Twenty years is a huge gaping crater to yell across. You'd be trying to communicate over twenty years of very different life experiences and significant generational differences as well. It's very unlikely that two people who are twenty years apart in age are going to be able to enter a romantic relationship as equals, who are working towards the same things in life.
It's more likely that - no matter how careful you may be - there will be a huge power imbalance in the relationship, with the younger person deferring to the choices and desires of the elder. The older person is more likely to be settled, to have more firm plans for their future, and more likely to be financially stable than the younger person. The younger person is likely to be just really starting their career as the elder's begins to wind-down and plan retirement.
Once the initial excitement has passed, all you've got left is the experiences that make that person who they are, and the goals that person has. If those two things don't line up, there is no way forward together.
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Well then...love comes in all shapes amd sizes there isnt a rule saying you have to date someone close to your age. My mother just recently got engaged to someone who is 17 years apart from her and first I would admit it was weird but as their relationship got stronger I could clearly see that he made her happy and I thought theres never a age limit to being happy!
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