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rape or sexual harassment?
So I had a boyfriend and I told him that I did not want to have sex because I want to wait and im a Christian. So he said okay, but then preceded to pressure me into doing other things such as bjs, hjs, fingering, etc amd they were things i really didnt want to do, told him i didnt want him to do but hed take out his take and be like please just touch it and please just finish for me and put your mouth on it and id really hate it and didnt want to but i did. Hed also tell me like dont you love me? Cause by you not wanting to have sex with me and all that its like saying you dont love me. And he just pressured me into doing all those things. And one day, and please dont judge me cause its so embarassing and I hate to think that it happened but he pressured me into having..anal. And told me at first it wouldnt mean me losing my virginity and i said i really really dont want to and that its weird and he begged and begged and begged and wouldnt let me put my clothes back on and told me just once and we didnt have to do it again and itd make him really happy and its a normal thing and eventually i broke and was like okay once and no more. And he did one thrust and i told him to pull out and he just pushed deeper in and say you just need to give it a chance and i scratched him trying to get him out of me. And before he had also forced me to show him my ass and i really didnt want to and hed try to flip me over and id struggle against him and even said rape rape and hes like its not rape unless im inside you silly. And idk. Is what he did rape? Or sexual harassment? Or what? My friend thinks its both. And im just angry at it all. I mean i blame myself for not just breaking the relationship off but i was fooled into believe everything we did was normal and sure maybe but we had only been together for like two weeks before i had to start giving hjs and ugh:( and i even knew what i was doing didnt feel right..afterwards id feel like sobbing cause i felt like i was just being used for sex and being dooped like every other 16 year old girl whos tricked into believing their 17 year old bf loves them. And ah:( so what is this called? Rape? Harassment? Being forced or constantly persuaded and begged into doing something i really didnt want to do..and then doing it and feeling awful? And if he ever finds this post by some chance, fuck you:(
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I may not be much of help but felt the need to answer anyways. One of my side jobs in the military is helping victims/survivors figure out what to do when they are put in an unwanted situation like this. I would consider this as sexual assault. Its more of a broad term but what he was getting you to do was unwanted and you may have consented but I personally feel he was abusing his "boyfriend" role. Additionally, the second you say stop during the act and the person does not stop, it is considered rape.
Your options are going to the police but sometimes they're a little insensitive about things like that. You can also go to a medical center to get an exam done. If all you did was anal, chances are you're not pregnant but with everything else he wanted I would say this definitely wouldn't hurt. Some states have a law where they are required to report any rape situations to the police, known as "mandatory reporting states".
For the military we have our own hotline but I googled a civilian equivalent and this is what I came up with [Link](Mouse over link to see full location) they may be able to give more advice on how to handle it and tell you your options and what you want to have happen. Good luck and keep your chin up!
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You did break things off with him right?
This is sexual harassment. It was consensual sex up until you told him to pull out and he didn't, then it turned to rape.
Love isn't about sexual things. You had your standards and he didn't care. He didn't care about you as a person, he obviously only cared about sex.
Don't beat yourself up over this. You should go to the police though. You might even want to talk to a therapist. The same thing happened to me and I should have gotten help much sooner but at the time I was more upset at myself for letting it get as far as it did. I think you feel the same way right now.
Just know that if a guy even tries to persuade to do ANYTHING that you aren't comfortable with, don't continue talking to him. Teenage guys are filled with hormones but eventually you'll meet one who will respect you.
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First of all I would not refer to this boy as your boyfriend. He does not love you; HE LUSTS FOR YOU. That line; "dont you love me" is classic for young boys to use to try and convince a girl to have sex with them. To young boys love and lust have the same definition.
TO answer your question were you raped? The answer is yes. you may have consented to try anal sex. When you said pull out and he did not. This is when it went from consensual to rape
The other things you write about are sexual harassment. You can and should report him to the police.
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What's a young Christian lady like yourself doing with a chooch like him? Look, I'm sure he knew the terms before you two got together. You had your personal beliefs and he had to respect them. Look, i once dated a super religious Christian woman. Cuddling, holding hands, and kissing was enough for me. Was she hot? Hell yeah and as tempted as I was most of the time I knew her body was hers and If I truly loved the person I'd respect it. And basically this guy has no respect for you, your body, or your principles. Hell he sounds like the type who if you gave him and had sex with him would go around telling the world AND probably dump you for someone else. If he truly has intention of making things work long term he would work with you and have a better bond with you through trust and love not just sex. Just reading that angered me and I don't even know you young lady! Now oooole Brady will tell ya something missy.... Dump this guy ASAP and spend your single time focusing on the Lord and your dreams. Eventually the Lord will bless you with a right man who will respect you and treat you right. I been there done that. Won't give away my age but I'm probably 7 years or so ahead of your time lol. I've seen a lot. Take care and good luck. I'll be praying for you.
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