So i just cant stand my boyfriends sister she is a huge bitch and always tries to break us up every chance she gets
She is always getting into our business and always calls him with her stupid problems when me and him are hanging out
I love my bf but i can not stand when he mentions her name or picks up her call when we are doing something
I cant say specifically why i hate her because its too long of a story but she is an evil bitch and i just need advice on what to do cause she is the reason me and my bf argue alot
Additional info, added Wednesday March 26 2014, 3:43 pm: She is older than he is and no his family does not come first to him i do he said it himself but the thing with him is that he can not stand up to her or anyone for that matter he is the sweetest man in the face of the planet and it is very hard to upset him and he never will stand up to a person because he is just to calm if i wanted he would stop talking to her for good but i dont want to do that because i love his dad and i know he wouldnt want me to do that but i just hate her she tries to compete with me and she knows she cant because he loves me more than he loves her but i hate that she even tries And makes him feel bad when she "cries" but when he asks her to hang out she always sAys no to him to go hang out with her friends but when he makes plans whith me she wants to ruin them and he gets to feeling bad . Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category? Maybe give some free advice about: Families? lightoftruth answered Friday March 28 2014, 1:26 am: This is a tough situation for you.
When you're dating someone, sometimes their family can be difficult. That's why you'll hear stories of crazy mother in laws and such. In this case, it's the sister. I'm sure he loves his sister and that's why he always wants to be there for her and all that. That's a good thing, but when it starts interfering with your relationship, it becomes a problem.
You just need to sit down and talk to your boyfriend. Tell him that you love him, you want this relationship to work but you feel like his sister is starting to get in between your relationship and you don't want to fight because of her. Ask him if he could talk to her so that she can stop interfering.
Talking bad about her to your boyfriend won't help. Don't say anything negative about her. He obviously cares about her so you just shouldn't talk bad about his family. When you date someone, you deal with their family. Trying to get them to cut contact would be a bad thing to do. Like adviceman said, boyfriends are a package deal.
Dragonflymagic answered Thursday March 27 2014, 2:48 am: Hmm, your extra info on her being older does bring up another possibility. So instead of being jealous because of loss of time spent with close knit brother, this is more likely about her not having a boyfriend, no one interested in dating her, so she feels left out and unhappy and unfortunately is reacting in an immature way by feeling that "if I can't be happy, no one else should be either". That would explain her trying to interfere, trying to break you up, just seeing the two of you together or hearing your name is enough to remind her of what she doesnt have. You can try to befriend her as has been suggested but if it doesnt help, it may come down to her needing some specialty counseling regarding her negative cognitive processes that lead to this behavior. Someone may need to speak to her about seeking out help in the form of CBT cognitive behavior therapy. Here's a link on what it is:
Xui answered Wednesday March 26 2014, 2:30 pm: You need to talk to your boyfriend calmly and explain to him that you feel his sisters behavior is interfering with your relationship. Hating her and starting arguments is only going to push your boyfriend away from you as this girl is his sister and family in many cases come first always. The only way to really handle this situation is to act in a mature manner and talk to him.
You also need to realize that whenever we choose to be apart of someone's lives we need to learn to embrace anyone who is apart of their lives as well. Like Adviceman said, He is a package deal. Although the term "Package Deal" is usually referred to someone who has children, This can also be referred to someone and their family.
Fighting with his sister because she is nosy and arrogant is only going to make you look bad in the long run. Best to maybe try to all sit down together and let the boyfriend do the talking, He needs to be the one to tell his sister to respect his relationship and to stop the constant nagging. You could also state how you feel as well but remember - Act mature about it. This is the key, If you blow up then it solves nothing.
adviceman49 answered Wednesday March 26 2014, 9:54 am: Boyfriends, girlfriends, husbands and wives are a package deal. They come with mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers and a host of extended family that you have to interact with.
Even if I knew this young lady I would be hard pressed to tell you why she is the way she is. It may not be you per say but the fact that you monopolize time that would otherwise be spent with her. There is a lot of needed information missing from your question to even hazard a guess as to the why but the one I gave is the most popular of the reasons.
If his is a close knit family and she has become use to doing things with her brother than you are the interloper. Depending on how much younger she is what you have said is how younger siblings react when the older siblings no longer make time for them.
What can you do about this. Try to get to know her. If this guy looks like husband material then I suggest you make time for one on one with just you and her. Take her shopping or so something together that she likes. Let her know you are not trying to take her brother away from her. That it is just possible you will become part of the family and you want to be her big sister as well as her friend. Someone else that she can come to when she needs to besides her big brother.
One other thing you and your boyfriend can do is make time to do things as a threesome. You him and the little sister. Doing something she would enjoy.
Doing these things should help her see you in a whole new light. The biggest thing is to communicate both in words and actions that you are not a threat to the relationship she has with her brother. [ adviceman49's advice column | Ask adviceman49 A Question ]
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