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Find a way to cope with snoring or go?
22, female, UK living in a flat.
I cannot sleep in the same bed as my partner and he isn't happy about it. He doesn't want us to sleep separately and I have been using ear plugs for a long time but the noise manages to sneak through. I fear that if I do not find something that makes me practically deaf during the night my relationship is over. Any advice?
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All of the above advice, but one simple thing you can try is this: try having him sleep high up on a pillow above where your head lies. If he sleeps on two pillows and you sleep on one, it will help block the noise. You could also try having the radio playing during the night to help drown out his noise.
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It may be best to recommend he get tested for sleep apnea. This can be done by scheduling a sleep study, I had sleep apnea and didn't know until I was tested for it.
It is treatable, He could also maybe see a doctor as well.
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If his snoring is that bad he may be suffering from something called sleep apnea. This is a serious medical condition that needs to be addressed as it could lead to respiratory arrest during the night.
Someone that suffers from sleep apnea may snore in a manner that sounds like they are gulping for air though not always. Sleep apnea is diagnosed in a sleep lab where he will be asked to go to sleep and be observed, then woken and then asked to go to sleep again. This will be done several time all while he is being observed and is wired for electronic readings.
If sleep apnea is diagnosed the most common method of control is to provide the patient with a CPAP device. Which is a machine that provides a positive pressure through a mask worn whenever the patient sleeps, even when taking a nap. The CPAP machine is very quiet, even soothing and should not cause either one of you a problem when it is in use..
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Tell him to get his ass to a doctor.
Seriously, the very least he can do is go to a doctor and see if there is anything that can be addressed medically. You are owed that much respect.
Frankly, if he wont take your comfort seriously enough to see a doctor and try a few different products or techniques, I'd dump just his ass right now.
I love a snorer. He has allergies and some damage to his nose and he can't help it, but a year I told him I needed him to do due diligence and speak to a doctor, because I was wearing earplugs and was still being woken several times a night by sounds that made me feel like I was under attack. I was anxious and exhausted. Now both of us sleep better.
Your partner has to recognize this a serious problem - he may think it's normal for him, but it almost certainly leaves both of you sleep deprived and cranky - and he has to get on board addressing it. Not only can chronic snoring be unhealthy for him (sleep apnea increases his risk for stroke and heart attacks), he also needs to know you will not be the first women who walks away if he doesn't take it seriously. It is literally a relationship killer.
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You could always look into this, he could have surgery on his sinuses. My dad had a really BAD case of snoring and he got surgery for it, worked. You and your partner could talk about with his doctor. Good luck!
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