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I'm jealous of my friend and I don't know why.
Hi!
So anyway, I'm a freshman in high school and I'm jealous of my friend. I really don't know why I'm jealous of him, because there's nothing to be jealous of. He's pretty much a pale twig (it's awful but it's true). Is there any way to get over this jealousy without knowing the root of what I'm jealous of? Is there a way of keeping myself from being jealous? Any answers are appreciated, thank you for reading!
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Jealousy sucks.
It's difficult to deal with when you're not quite sure why you feel this way. But like the other advisers said, you called him a pale twig so you might be jealous that he has confidence in himself even though he might not be the best looking guy around.
Either way, no matter what the jealousy is from, it's affecting you and it's something that you need to deal with. Either way, you're jealous or something he has, that you feel like you don't have. Whether it may be looks, confidence, dating, personality, intelligence, material things you don't have, ect. You need to learn to accept yourself and be happy with with what you do have.
It's easier said than done but you know it needs to happen or else you're just going to keep feeling jealous when there is no need to be and could possibly lose a good friend over it.
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You didn't provide many details, but I'm going to take a wild guess here... you mention that he is a pale twig. In other words, you say that he's not that attractive (by your standards), or, at the very least, he's not more attractive than you.
I'm going to guess that he's comfortable with his appearance. Confident, maybe. And perhaps you are not. Does it bother you that someone whom you consider to be less attractive than yourself has more confidence than you do? Do you feel like he has somehow gotten confidence that he doesn't deserve, while you don't have the confidence that you do deserve?
You're going to have to learn to be happy with yourself. Even if he had low self-esteem, it's not like it would make your self-esteem higher.
I think that HIS confidence is the root of your jealousy. You can overcome it by focusing on your strengths without comparing them to anyone else's, and without imaging how others might compare themselves to you.
Best of luck to you! Jealousy is not a fun feeling, and I hope you figure out how to overcome it soon!
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The words jealous and envy are pretty close. Perhaps you meant envy? Envy is a feeling of wanting something another person has. It could be anything, something intangible even. So if not his looks, perhaps he is confident, outgoing, self assured and charming or attracts the girls, no matter how he looks to you. You may be comparing yourself in such ways to him and feel yourself lacking on one point and so you want to be like that. If it was an easy matter to change for you, then you would be focused on becoming more like those things you wished you could be, rather than feelings envious because you believe those things to be unattainable for you.
Jealousy on the other hand boils down to a fear of something, usually a loss. This is seen often in relationships where one partner feels jealous of not their partner but the persons who they perceive may be able to attract ones partner away, thus the fear of loss and feeling jealous because of the one you see as a possible threat.
You need to be honest with yourself, when alone, ask questions out loud to yourself as if speaking to another person. In a way, you kinda are...speaking to your subconscious. You may not get an answer right away and need to keep asking over several days and one day the answer will pop into your mind as to what is making you feeling envious or jealous. And then you will be able to work on overcoming it. Once you know what it is, if you need to, write in again. Until then, good luck!
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