Ok, well I had this friend for years and now in high school but I kinda left him alone for 2 years to hang out with other friends but now he met someone else and now they hang out all the time. Now I have taken enough of this I have feelings for him like deep feelings for him. Every time they hang out I have hate feelings towards her. Does it seem that I'm jealous???
[ Answer this question ] Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category? Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship? Dragonflymagic answered Monday February 3 2014, 3:51 pm: Feelings of jealousy are like an indicator light on the dashboard of your car warning you something is wrong, like a door ajar or oil running low. Jealousy is usually about a fear of something, most often fear of a loss.
It could be that you fear losing him because you are only now realizing that you really care alot or maybe even love him.
Some girls who have a boyfriend as a best friend can go on for years with him as an extremely close friend and never felt the "fireworks" hit like it does when you are attracted to other guys, cus the love for a guy in some cases, sneaks up on you, growing slowly stronger over time and yet the couple may never have been romantic and kisses, held hands or snuggled.
I can't say if you missed your chance with him by neclecting the friendship for 2 years.
When it comes to him being attracted to someone and hanging out, if he hasn't yet made a commitment to date her, there is no reason why you can't tell him how you feel if you are ready to start a romantic relationship with him if he still feels the same about you. The best thing you can do is to ask yourself why you didn't want to spend the 2 years with him? Was it that you only exclusively had him as the one and only person you socialized with and never anyone else? That isn't healthy. But to swing the other way if this is the case and not have hardly any contact at all is the opposite extreme and also isn't healthy.
You need to find a time to have a private chat with him if he will agree to it. And explain to him why you avoided him for 2 yrs, and apologize if apologies are needed. Next I would state noticing him hanging out with the girl and ask if he has made a commitment to her to date her? If he says yes, then congratulate him. Ask him if you can still be his friend and spend time chatting with him or if he thinks the other girl would not like that.
If he says he is interested but not really dating her,
Then you might go ahead and explain nicely and calmly without any accusations or emotional outbursts, how you felt once you saw him paying attention to the other girl. You were surprised to find yourself feeling this way and it made you realize how special he is to you and the depth of your feelings for him which go way beyond just good friends or best friends. Ask him if he thinks you have any chance of being not just his friend, but his girl. If he is open to that, then proceed into dating. [ Dragonflymagic's advice column | Ask Dragonflymagic A Question ]
pd2193 answered Monday January 27 2014, 9:23 pm: If you feel angry that he's hanging out with someone else then ya your jealous. It seems like you have feelings for him and the fact that hes hanging out with another girl irritates you because you wish it was you hanging out with him. I suggest asking him to hang out with you and rekindling that friendship again. [ pd2193's advice column | Ask pd2193 A Question ]
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