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How can I be a nice person?
I used to be a really nice person but now not so much what are some things I can do to be nice?
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Hi,
Sorry I didn't get around to answering to you sooner.
I'd really like to know more details about why you feel that you've become a less nice person than before.
If you want a more specific answer, feel free to send me a private question with some examples of things that you do that aren't nice, or things you used to do that make you feel like you were a nice person.
I'm taking "nice person" to mean being nice to others, or likeable, although what I say could also apply to whether you feel like you are worthwhile.
First, think about why you used to be a nice person. List the reasons down.
Second, list down things you feel make you not a nice person now.
Third, write a third list in order of how easy those things from both lists are to change. For example if you had "I have no job", or "I insult my mother too often", the second one would probably be easier to work on.
Last step - Work on things that you do that aren't nice, and do more of the things that you used to do that were nice. Eventually you'll get your balance back. It takes time and effort.
If you like to read, two books I have found really helpful in regaining my balance of happiness are The Art of Happiness by the 14th Dalai Lama, and 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey. The first is about fostering internal happiness, the second one is more about self-worth and being a person who can get stuff done.
Once again, feel free to ask a private question with more detailed examples, or anything on your mind.
Good luck, and don't give up
-SilentOne
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Being nice is the act of being hospitable. That means...smiling, say hi to people, treat people with respect whether they return the action or not. Put other people's feelings before yourself. Keep a good attitude whenever possible. Obey authority figures in your life. Give little gifts without telling where they came from. Hug your mother. Friend people who have no one...who have less than you. Stand up for the ones who can't speak for themselves. Be willing to serve...doing things that aren't necessarily fun, but helps someone else. Do things expecting nothing in return and you'll be surprised by how much people will open up to you and treat you the respect.
Keep yourself from being selfishly motivated and you will be naturally nice. :-)
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As the other person said; everyone has their own idea of what nice is in other words people define nice in various ways. I'm sure that you have some traits of niceness that others see as nice and others don't. Really, if you think that you aren't nice enough or you don't fit the norm of "nice" than try something simple like: Smiling often, maybe smiling at people you see across the street or people you pass by on the sidewalk. Even smiling when you're feeling low. Here's a link for more ideas: [Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
Good Luck :)
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While what someone might consider "nice" varies from person to person, I'm sure there are some basic personality traits and behavioral attributes that most of us can agree on as being nice. Some of these might include generosity, the willingness to help someone in need and just generally being kind to others.
Niceness isn't something you do but rather something you are. My suggestion would be simply to consider others. That should be a good start. From there, I'm confident that things will come to you.
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Figure out what the behavior is that people aren't responding well to. If you know what you are doing that isn't nice stop doing it.
That's the first step. Next treat people exactly the way you want them to treat you. When you do both these things and are consistent you'll fair better.
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