I like this guy and we've known each other for a LONG time. This year he asked me if I liked him and I said no because i was nervous, and I'm NEVER nervous around him. This year he's been confusing. I joined a sport this year, and I noticed he's been hanging on with the jocks and trying to be like them. I don't like it.I liked the guy who had time to talk to me, and was always there for me in times of need. I don't understand him anymore. But just before everything got confusing I asked if he wanted to go to six flags with me.. He said he did. And it was supposed to be my "birthday gift". He kept asking me when my birthday was but I know he just wanted to talk to me cause he has the MOST WONDERFUL memory. Should I tell him I like him before, during, after the amusement park? Or never? ( if it helps I'm in middle school )
lightoftruth answered Tuesday December 31 2013, 4:57 pm: I agree with Dragonflymagic. It was totally fine to feel nervous, but you should just let him know that when he asked you, you felt under pressure but you really don't know how you feel because it's new territory for you and you'd like to hang out more to see how you feel.
Dragonflymagic answered Tuesday December 31 2013, 2:53 pm: Would you like going somewhere with a guy who invited you but has told you when you asked that he doesn't like you (whether true or not?
You had every right to feel nervous about answering that question, it's new territory you are experiencing, and the hormones going through your body bring up all these feelings that make things feel confusing when really its not all that strange. Guys are humans, just like your best girlfriends, a lot of what applies in your girl friendships and how you and girls interact will also apply to guys. Its just the feelings you need to sort out whether they are romantic or not.
The next time you are asked whether you like someone when you are not sure yet of how you feel, remember you don't have to answer yes and you dont have to answer no either. Instead you say, not sure yet if I like you that way, but I am interested in 'getting to know you better' so that I can determine if I do like you as a boyfriend or not. To say you like a person just to go out on a date and during on the first 3 dates you discover it's someone you really don't have a great interest in after all and then the kids 'break up' meaning they stop dating and seeing each other and everyone gets so upset about it. It better to keep things in perspective as I explained the 'getting to know someone better' phase which is what will help you know if you like someone.
A good way to explain to your guy friend is to say something like this in your own words:
Hey Brian, when you asked if I liked you, I figured you meant as a boy friend cus I have known you a long time as a friend, but I hadn't given it any thought whether I really liked you as a 'boyfriend'. So I answered No. But saying No would not be true since I haven't given myself a chance yet to discover if I would really begin to like you in a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship and the only way to find out is if we hang out together so thats why I asked you to 6 flags. I already like you as friend, but now that we're older, I want to see if I can also like you as a boyfriend.
That speech would be perfect before your trip. Then if in one date, you are sure, then tell him you like him and you want him to be your boyfriend
during or right after. Or if you need more time, tell him later after you've hung out more together. If you discover that you like him as friend but never seem to develop romantic feelings like wanting to cuddle and hold hands and kiss, then you have to be honest and say so, that you don't feel that part and at some point you will be dating another guy then.
So if you think your quick No to him might make him decide to not go along when you do want him to go, then talk to him ahead of the trip to 6 flags, otherwise, you can talk with him during the trip or after. [ Dragonflymagic's advice column | Ask Dragonflymagic A Question ]
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