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I feel like a nobody. I can't understand.
I'm from the Philippines and I'm 13. Sorry If I have some grammatical errors.Sometimes in school I just feel like I'm no one. No one ever talks to me unless it's really important. I can't understand. I tried my best for them to notice me, but they don't. I have a few friends, but I they aren't just the friends that can really 'understand' me.
So let me describe myself. I'm pretty (others say) but I'm short and chubby, I can draw well (one of the best in my class I think), I can play the guitar and piano,and I'm an honor student. I think I have a good attitude, but sometimes I'm just shy. I also love books and I'm in different 'fandoms' like I'm a Directioner, a Swiftie, and fans of fiction books like Harry Potter and Percy Jackson. I'm really not the girly girl, I don't like girly fashion like others do.
I just can't understand. Are they avoiding me because I'm shy? Or is it because I'm chubby? Or because I don't like fashion?
I also hate it when they compare me to my sister. She's a year older than me and she's pretty to. We are exactly the same except I'm into fandoms and books and she's into girly things and love stories. I can say she's kinda popular in our school and my classmates adore her. I can't understand why they don't act like that when it comes to me. Not that I'm jealous, but sometimes they don't treat me as me. When others see me they're all like "You're Anna's(not her real name) sister right?"
I tried to be into these girly things, love, etc. But I just can't. I don't really like those stuff.
Sorry if this is kind of confusing. >.< So what can I do to have friends? To make them notice me as I am? Should I change? Please. I need advice.
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Hey.. Before I start I just wanted to let you know I am the same age too (: First off, DO NOT CHANGE YOURSELF. You should never change yourself because someone wants you to. I used to be shy until this year. No, I did not change. I simply started to open up to people a tad bit more and more, then they started talking to me. Yes, I am still known as "the shy girl" but it was worth being myself. Ok now I'm going to tell you how shy and reserved I was.. Last year and years before, I would literally sit in a corner with a book, with no one, and stare at people. I would examine and observe them to see if they would make good friends.. And I found my true friends that way.. Now.. This year I throw grapes at people when I'm bored.. ( and yes it is very fun, mostly because no one suspects the "shy one" to be throwing fruit (; ) Anyways though.. My point is don't be afraid to show your true self.. And babe.. Your beautiful in your own way. People put you down to put themselves up, don't let anyone tell you different. Believe it or not it is sometimes best to stay away from people but keep at least two or three good ones. Haha at least that's what I do (;
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Hello dear,
First, your grammar is very good and I can tell from your writing you are intelligent. As to why some might be avoiding/ignoring you, I'd have to say that at your age, teens will do so for those very reasons that you listed and more. Some are outcast because of their beliefs, the christians, the pagans, some for their looks, overweight, gothic style dress, and for their sexual preferences or differences.
Why people your age through early 20's act this way for the most part can be explained by the following.
The pre-frontal cortex, is a section of the brain that weighs outcomes, forms judgments and controls impulses and emotions. This section of the brain also helps people understand one another. The pre-frontal cortex section of the brain in teens is still a little immature as compared to adults; and it doesn't fully develop until your mid-20s.
So no wonder a great number of kids shun you, each for their own reasons. It doesn't mean there is anything at all wrong with you. You sound like a young lady who will be very successful in life. Some teens like yourself will have brains that develop faster and are capable of more adult like thinking. Other kids grow up in a household where they learn bias's and bigotry from their parents and assume it is normal acceptable behavior to be that way because the family is. You are going to run into these kinds of misguided people throughout life, just not in as high and concentrated numbers as in school during the teen years.
Never change who you are to be accepted as a friend. Remember that also when of dating age, never change who you are to win the attention of a guy. He should also accept you just as you are or he's not worth your time.
So how do you get friends when most are immature yet? Look for the few other outcasts like yourself and be a friend to get a friend. These kids learn how to not be noticed, not do anything to stand out, they fade into the background but once you start looking for them, you will notice them....the kid who sits alone at lunch, the extremely shy kid who walks staring at the floor, the one who is awkward and clumsy often, the overweight, the gay kid who has no friends, the kid who got kicked or beaten by others, and so on.
Once enough of the so called rejected kids band together as friends so no one is any longer a loner, then its less likely to be picked on because in reality, the popular teens are really the smallest group in society and all the others are just fragmented into tiny groups, just two buddies or no friends and yet all of you would make good supportive friends for each other, even though you have some great difference between you. Hope this helps to encourage you dear.
Happy New Year
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Everybody likes different things, has different styles, ect.
I'm just gonna take a guess and say that they don't really talk to you as much because you are shy. Mostly the outgoing people are the ones you make friends easier.
It's suck when people compare you to your siblings. When I was a junior in high school, my younger brother was a freshman and he was much more outgoing so the younger people knew me as "Jack's sister".
It really didn't bother me but I still get what you mean.
So anyways, don't change who you are, just meet people who are interested in the same things you are.
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Hello there,i think you should change, a bit.I know you don't like a girly fashion,but you should try maybe you will like it.You're pretty,intelligent and smart,if you change to a girly fashion,they will notice you.If you like books like Harry potter and Percy Jackson you can still go on with it,it's a good books.I like it too.
I don't know if this will help you,i can only give an advice,it's up to you what you gonna do.
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