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My son's gym teacher is a young female and I am not comfortable with this?
at my son's and daughter's school they have swimming in PE from 8th grade to at least 10th grade in high school and the boys and girls have it together. I though this was bad enough. Wouldn't this make people feel uncomfortable? And cause distractions and goofing off among everybody? Not to mention young boys will be around with no shirts on which I think is inappropriate for young girls to be around of. My son has some stretch marks and now he has to stand half naked in front of all those girls and this will give them a chance to humiliate or tease him.
but now I find out that the teacher is also a young female that is probably about 23 or 24. I remember meeting her because she taught his health class as well. I do not feel comfortable with my son having a teacher that young and a person that young being in charge of a class that includes young boys 15-16 years old in swimming costumes.
My son keeps saying he does not care, but he is young and may not realize how wrong this is.
should I take some type of action
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I think the most "action" you'll be able to take is just pulling your son out of the class. I mean they're not going to fire the teacher or cancel the class or something because nowadays, this kind of thing is normal.
Honestly, I can see where you're coming from but like I said, times have changed and you'll either have to accept it or shelter your child.
I mean even if they had regular PE, girls would still see the guys with their shirts off.
Like one of the other advisers had said, taking him out of the class probably won't do him any good. I think it's better to teach him how to handle being teased rather than trying to avoid it altogether because kids get teased about anything and everything.
As for the teacher being young, that shouldn't be a problem. The boys will probably be attracted to her but usually the younger the teachers are, the more strict they are. I've found the the older ones are more lenient. So it's better for him to have a younger teacher, believe me.
If your son mentions having a problem with it and he doesn't like it, then pull him out of the class. But if he's fine with it, just let him take the class and enjoy it.
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I could explain to you in depth exactly what is wrong with your viewpoint, but it would do no good.
Instead I will speak to the effects.
When a child is coddled and sheltered by his parents to the degree that you think is appropriate he or she grows up without any real coping ability with which to interact with society. When that child steps out into the real adult world he will find that nothing that you taught him is real and that the bubble of false ideology which you raised him in has left him completely unprepared to handle reality and the people (most of the world) who live there.
He will find failure after failure and he will not have any foundational mechanisms to handle that failure or to understand why he is failing. This will breed depression, followed by anger and resentment at the rest of the world around him as he withdraws further and further from people who he does not understand and who do not understand him.
In the end, one of two things will happen.
a) He becomes a hermit who avoids people and suffers from severe personality disorders and never leaves the safe bubble of home or returns to it not knowing where else to belong or how to belong there
b) He goes through a long and painful process of shedding every belief you ever taught him and resents you the entire way for the damage you did in raising him and ends up finding some combination of beliefs that appeals to him which you find wholly unacceptable, and your relationship goes down the toilet and you will forever feel like you lost your son and blame the world around you for not letting him be himself because you are too blind to see that you shaped him into a person destined to fail.
Your ideas of what is inappropriate are terrible. Truly damaging things. But worse is your idea that your son must be shielded from anyone who might tease him instead of teaching him how to handle the world and not to hide from it or try to manipulate what he finds there unsuccessfully and then blame the world for not being what you think it should be when you meet that inevitable failure.
Your son doesn't care. Maybe you should take a moment to consider that in spite of all the odds he has a healthier outlook than you do on the world and stop trying to drag him back into the stone age with you. Maybe.
:Edit:
Also, for the record, being in your 50s doesn't suddenly make people in their 20s not adults. The fact that you have forgotten how different teenagers are from 24 year olds are from each other doesn't mean the rest of the world has.
And the responses you are getting to this are not from teenagers, either. I'm a father, and as a father I actually think that the way your son's school is doing things is absolutely the best way to go about it. Rahzie is right, a younger teacher is going to be far more able to handle things like bullying and teasing in a group at that age than a teacher your age. Sorry, that's just how it is, and discriminating against a 24 year old woman because you're afraid your son masturbates about her at night because he's old enough to have left his Oedipal complex behind there's even more wrong with you than I can address over the internet.
In short: Get therapy. Preferably from someone under 35.
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To try and intercede in something you son is not asking you for help with will cause him more problems then may or may not be happening in school. It has been a while since I have been in school but I do remember my PE classes. While we did not have swimming we would be, on appropriate days, outside on the track or field playing some type of game. The class would be divided up Skins VS Shirts. The girls PE class would also be outside playing field hockey or some other game.
So be it swimming or field sports the chances are high your son would be seen without his shirt at some time during a PE class. Unless he had a medical reason not to take his shirt off or not to take PE it is almost unavoidable.
As for the teachers age do not doubt her capability in managing her class. I found the younger the teacher the stricter they were. When I was in high school, a senior, one of the new teachers for that year was actually a student when I was in middle school or Junior high as we call them. She lived in town and frequented the town pool each summer. Most of us knew her and we boys drooled over her. Those of us who thought ourselves lucky to get her for senior English thought we were the luckiest seniors in school. It took only one day for us to find out we were the unluckiest as she came down on us with both feet and a sledge hammer.
I'm sure this teacher is just as qualified as my English teacher was for us. Being a PE teacher she is most probably also very fit and more than capable to handle teenage boys of your sons age.
One other thing. We are living in different times than when you or I were younger. Young people today are far more accepting of what you may consider inappropriate showing of a persons body. Manners of dress today would have had us suspended from school. Today if there is no dress code in the school a teacher of administer might and I say might say something about how it is inappropriate dress for school.
A good example of the difference between our thinking of appropriate dress is to take a look around any office. Look at how the young people dress as opposed to the older people. Are the older people right and the younger people wrong? The answer depends on who you ask.
The short answer to your question is: Do not interfere unless your son asks you too. Your interference will cause him more harm than you believe he is being exposed to.
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I wouldn't.
As for how young she is, if you think of how life guards and swimming instructors are often young and in control of people swimming at a beach, there's little difference.
I do find it odd that they would force students to have a swimming class. Are there no alternatives?
Your son's best interest is the issue here. And teasing is a concern, though I would wager that he would be teased to a far greater degree if his mother or father tried to take action. Keep in mind that this class is probably only for a short period of time and I doubt he'll be negatively effected in a large way. If he says there's no issue for him, I would leave it at that.
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You should not take any action.
You have no valid reasons to do so.
You probably have the right to remove your son from this class, but you shouldn't do that. You shouldn't pull him out of the class.
I do understand your anxiety about the swimming class, but judging someone who is a professional to be unqualified ONLY because of their age (and gender) is discrimination, and it's ugly.
I am not a teacher, but I've worked with teachers most of my career and I'll tell you this: There are 20 year old 4 foot tall women who can command a classroom of teenagers without breaking a sweat, and there are 6 foot, 45 year old guys who can't. A person's age, gender, height, have no baring on whether or not they are skilled teacher. Some of the most skilled teachers I've met are the ones who are not able to physically intimidate or demand respect based on age - they have to earn their students respect the hard way, by being constantly worthy of it and demanding it - and that makes them better at.
Frankly, a younger teacher, more recently trained and more aware of bullying and how to end it, might actually be better skilled than an older teacher at keeping order and civility in a swimming class. They will have had more focus on those skills in their training.
You might not see much a difference between a 24 year old and teenager, but the 24 year does, and so do the teenagers. Clearly, so do the professionals and school authorities who choose to hire this women.
You have a right, as a parent, to express your concerns to the school staff (no matter how irrational or discriminatory those concerns might be). So if you feel the need to do that, go right ahead. If you speak to the principal with an open mind, you might even find yourself reassured about this teacher's credentials and skills.
But If your son has no concerns, then stop causing him anxiety with your own biases and discrimination against this women. He's fifteen years old, he deserves a bit of respect for his own opinion about the classes he is taking. If you pull him out against his will, you'll be setting an example that discrimination is okay, and that younger adults can't work hard, and perform well at the jobs they have been trained to do. Don't set that kind of horrible example for your son. He'll think less of your for it, and he'll be right - honestly, you may also be exposing him to ridicule for having an over-involved mother.
If you are going to react to anything, react to actual issues when they happen, not issues you imagine might happen in the future.
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