|
Abusive Parent?
I am a thirteen year old girl. Since I will talk about my siblings, their ages are 5,6,10,&14.
My mother is normal, it's not her I'm concerned about it's my father. He is usually playful, fun and gives us treats on occassion but a few times a week he gets violent. He drinks and gets violent. He'll mean to be playful and end up being to rough and hurting us. But since we are hurr real bad, we cry and he freaks out screaming at us and sending us to bed for crying. My autistic brother whom is fourteen (lets call him C). C picks his nose and sucks his fingers. When he does so, my dad will slap C, curse, or just be like "WASH YOUR EFFIN HANDS!!!! IF I EVER SEE THAT AGAIN ILL BREAK YOUR FINGERS!!!!!" And when dad makes my siblings cry, I cry and get yelled at. Just last night my dad hurt my brother, I cried and got sent to my room. My dad called my other brother who wasnt crying to watch a movie with him instead. And when he called my brothet upstairs he said "Luke shut your freak sisters bedroom door!!!!" Why am I a freak for crying. My mom cant really do anything because shes very tiny (like only 110 pounds) and my dad is 250 pound man. She will usually just say "Why dont you guys just go play outside?" Or "is it bedtime yet? Why dont you guys go to bed?"
So is this an abusive father or just a strict one? Should I talk to him or seek outside help?
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Miscellaneous category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Doesn't Fit Any Of These Categories?
If your dad is only this way when he drinks, then he has a drinking problem and is probably an alcoholic. Most alcoholics will not admit they have a problem and therein lies the problem you face. Until your dad admits he has a problem with alcohol there is nothing you can do or say that will make him admit it or cause him to change. In fact if you were to accuse him of being an alcoholic or problem drinker you would only make more trouble for yourself.
This does not mean there is not things you can not do to get help. There are several way for you to get help. First with school opening you can go to a trusted teacher or your school principal and tell them what is happening at home. If they agree your home life is abusive there are plans in place for them to follow to get help for you and your siblings.
Living with an abusive alcoholic parent or relative is tough. There is an organization, a self-help group call Al-Anon and Al-A-teen which you can join. They have meetings in just about every community across the country. In these meetings you will meet people your age , younger and older who face the same problems as you have. You will learn from them how they are handling their problem and see what might work for you. Al-A-Teen is for you. Al-Anon would be for mom if you can convince her to go to a meeting.
Below is the URL to the meeting locator page for the Al-Anon group. Find your state and click on it, then your town or the town closest to you.
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
There is a fine line between abuse and discipline. It is okay fro a parent to discipline a child and even to smack them on the butt or spank them. It is not okay for a parent to hit a child with a closed fist or on the head.
If dad was to hit any of you with a closed fist anywhere on your bodies or to smack you in the face or head this is not discipline, this is child abuse and you would be justified in calling 911 for help.
If you need to you do so and you tell the call taker everything that is happening now. Such as Dad is hitting you, your siblings in the head or body with his fists. This allows the call taker to send the police and fire department to your home. Dad cannot turn them away. The fire department EMT"s must provide you and your siblings with medical attention and tell the police if they need to toke you to doctors for further attention. The police of course will handle dad based on what the EMT's tell them.
Don't be afraid to call 911 if you need to . Alcoholics need to hit bottom before they ask for help. If you need to call for help for you or any of your siblings this may be just what dad need to recognize he has a drinking problem.
Understand one thing though. Alcohol makes people act very strange. Particularly those who do not tolerate it well. Regardless of why dad drinks and what it does to him. In his own way he still loves you and your brothers and sisters.
]
He needs serious help about his addiction and abusing problem. If you continue to let this happen, it will get worse. I would suggest seeking outside help like social services or the police. I know the idea of doing this to your father seems crazy, but its going to get worse before it gets better. Don't think of it as punishing your father for what he is doing. Think of it as protecting the lives of your family. Your father has a serious problem and talking to him won't change anything. If you confront him yourself, you may be putting yourself and others in further jeopardy. So seek outside help before he really hurts someone.
]
Well first I want to start by saying I'm sorry that you are going
Through this. But I advise you to talk to your father first if you
Never have before (when he is sober of course and is not in
a bad mood maybe even write him a letter and express
It to him that way . It sounds like he maybe stress seeing you
Have a house full. Maybe some other problems going on that
You aren't aware of . Could be money problems or relationship
. But that still don't make it right . You could put in your letter that you love him and that you don't know what
Is going on but if there is anything you could do to
Help because you don't like how he hurts you guys
And , so on some times when is in there face they don't relies.
Now if that makes things worse or it continues
After you express how you felt then . I would seek outside help
ASAP cause next time I pray there won't be but it could go further then just what you have experience . Usually the abuser gets comfortable and can take it too far well hope that helps . Also try to show him more Affection!
]
More Questions: |